Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah!
by Tigee86
Summary: Explosions, beatings, and confusion abound as the fallout from failed plans and sacrifices no longer made rain down on the Nerima district. Happy Holidays and an awesome New Years to all!
1. 1, or Life Takes a Wrong Turn

**Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah!**

**Disclaimer:** Heyas! Tigee here popping in to say that the author claims no ownership of either Ranma ½ or Tenchi Muyo. All characters and so forth are owned by their original creators though the situations that they'll be going through are a result of a rather twisted mind. Before you go, I've found this nifty little black hole the other day, wanna see? Its just right over…Hey! Don't ignore me! Get bac…

"Normal speech"

'Inner thoughts'

^Telepathy^

* * *

**Sub-Dimension 1179 - 'Washu's Laboratory'**

**12:03 p.m. - Relative time based on emergence point of Sub.-1179**

In one of the darker, less used sections of what is quite arguably the most advanced lab in the known galaxy, a travel-worn and masculine figure nervously crept towards the nearest light source. While most would scoff at such timidity the locals would have applauded his caution. That's not to say that the young man in question _actually_ knew where they'd be 'local' to. That would just be silly. No, the young man, Ryoga to his friends, hadn't the slightest clue where he was(and probably wouldn't have even if you tried to tell him to his face). Ryoga did however know WHAT he was in.

A mad scientist's lab.

It wasn't all that uncommon really. You'd be surprised how many bat-shit crazy people are geniuses and have access to _some _sort of laboratory. Ryoga, with his ability to appear damn near anywhere in the world, had seen more then his fair share of strange places. This is why he looked rather nervous and absolutely refused to so much as brush up against any the complex equipment that surrounded him. Insane martial arts trained toughness or not there are just some things that a man was just never meant to be exposed to. Like horny female Troll guards.

Brrrr… bad memories.

Anyways, the Lost Boy, calling upon years of experience with the bizarre was making decent progress to…somewhere…when he heard…IT! A sound that bodes well for no one but the creator of said horror.

"Mwa-hahahahahahaha!"

The evil cackle of a delighted mad-scientist/villain. Joy.

His gaze wildly seeking cover, Ryoga made a mad dash(Ha) towards nearest decent hiding spot he could see. Given his sense of direction it's really no surprise that that happened to be _closer_ to the frightful laughter.

"Too predictable she says! I'll show her predictable!" Twitching Ryoga peeked around the corner of what he vaguely identified as a massive computer bank. At a well-light work-station, moving with a frenzied pace and a bone-chilling smile on her face was the owner of this particular lab. Absently, he noted that she appeared much younger then the standard oddball that usually puttered around in one of these places.

Looking no more then 12 or 13 at most the young girl wore an odd and darkly colored outfit that contrasted sharply with her plain white lab coat, pale complexion, and…pink hair? Oh yeah, definitely mad scientist colors there. Obvious to her observer the girl continued working on whatever it was that she was building. Some box-shaped thing from the looks of it. 'I'd better get out of here before she notices me. I'll need the stealth of a ninja for this. How does Kuno's manservant do it?'

"Oh right. Sneaky feet, ninja feet…" Feeling a little more confident that he was 'invisible' the Eternally Lost marital artist began moving towards what he felt was the exit to this nightmare waiting to happen. Unfortunately he didn't quite make it.

"One last adjustment and…there! Finished." Giving an evil giggle the project was quickly picked up and carried over towards a viewing and containment chamber that sat just outside Ryoga's line of sight. The Lost Boy was so terrified of being noticed by the lab owner that he failed to pay attention to the fact that she was flying. He did however listen when she started a monologue.

"'What are you going do about it mom? Turn me into a kappa? Embarrass me with story? Its all old news'" Despite the sudden urge to face-fault over what even he suspected was a poor imitation Ryoga managed to stay upright and avoid revealing his presence. Meanwhile the completed box thing was placed on a table, a pose able nozzle pointed at the tank. As the floating scientist dropped a pair of darkened safety goggles over her eyes he couldn't help but feel a small sense of curiosity. It wasn't often that he actually got to see one of these…people at work. Usually he wandered in looking for either Akari or Akane, the asylum escapee would spot him somehow, and then things would start blowing up as they cackled and he ran for his life.

'I wonder what she thinks a device the size of a shoe box can do. Then again, that nasty pervert and the creepy old mummy are tiny and they're about the only people in Nerima that even Ranma can't beat.' Ryoga briefly drifted off into fond memories of Ranma getting the crap kicked out of him by a shrunken pervert. By the time he resurfaced so to speak all the last minute preparations had been completed and the mad scientist-girl was ready to test her invention. Never taking her eyes off the target she leaned forward and pressed an oversized button on top of the device. With a second and a half to charge, the nozzle fired a thin grey beam towards…whatever.

Ryoga shifted a bit but he still couldn't see the result without going around the corner. It didn't matter much as the young lady started singing her own praises. As she started to repeat herself Ryoga's rather considerable skill at selective hearing (1) kicked in and thus was a certain pig-tailed martial artist soon-to-be screwed.

'Bah…she's even bigger blow-hard then Genma. How long is she going to go on about how great she is? It's like listening to Ranma talk about his 'greatness'. What makes him think he's so great! One of these days I'm going to take him down a couple pegs and see how he likes being the loser! Once that jerk is beaten Akane will be even nicer to me, just like Akari. Akane and Akari…Akane and Akari…Aka…wait, what was that last thing she said?'

Finally paying attention again the Lost Boy tried recovering the last few minutes of her speech/rant. 'Something about a transformation I think…wonder if that would do anything to a Jusenkyo curse.' That's when, as far as Ryoga was concerned, gold was struck.

"Watch yourself Ryoko, and tremble in fear of mighty Turn-you-into-a-cabbit machine! Mwa-ha Hahah! Might need to give it a better name though…" Looking thoughtful the lab owner stared off into the distance pondering on possible clever names for her new toy. Washu was debating the merits of 'Cabbit-o-matic' and the 'Cabbitinator' when off in the distance a sizable explosion could be heard. Groaning, the self-proclaimed 'Greatest Scientist in the Universe' turned to the sound and spotted the beginnings of a smoke column. "I can't believe this. I can bend space/time, rewrite D.N.A., and make physics do the Hokey-pokey(anything that embarrassing _has _to be universal) but I can't keep a blonde ditz from trashing my lab every month! Just brilliant Washu!" Absently she reached down to hit a button labeled 'Reverse' before heading towards the explosion.

Grumbling the scientist turned a corner and disappeared among her machines. She'd barely been gone at all when Ryoga popped out from his hiding place and dashed over to the table. With a gleeful expression the device was snatched up and cradled to his chest. 'I can't believe it! A box that turns people into rabbits, RABBITS!' (2) A quick celebratory jig later the now precious object was gently packed into his sturdy traveling pack. Satisfied that it wasn't going to disappear the martial artist slung his bag over his shoulder and marched off, whistling cheerfully. For far too long Ranma had mocked his curse, had 'taken advantage' of his weakness. Now the tables would turn and mister 'I'm the best' would discover what it was like to be small and helpless.

Distracted by happy thoughts of Ranma's suffering Ryoga didn't even notice the world around him fading away. Even if he had been paying attention he simply was just not Aware enough to notice the ancient and bored entity tweaking his fate and/or location for its own amusement. (3)

* * *

In the Nerima district of Tokyo it was a beautifully glorious day. The sun was shining without a cloud in the sky. It was warm but not hot, with a playful breeze to keep the air alive. There hadn't been a major explosion in at least a week. In the Tendo residence and dojo it was just as nice. The bills were paid, the house clean and in good repair, the occupants in good moods. Happosai hadn't been seen since the wedding fiasco and neither had any of the other unwelcome guests. It was the sort of day that anybody would have been happy to just sit back and enjoy the peace and quiet.

Therefore, Ranma had been panicking for _hours_ and was quickly approaching his mental breaking point.

It was him after all. The walking chaos magnet, crazy shit personified. He wasn't supposed to be happy or peaceful, not since he got to this Hellhole called a district. In very close to 2 years he had seen, done, and heard things, a great many things, very few of which had been at all pleasant. Anymore it seemed that his days alternated between semi-normal and 'Sweet Kami! What's happening!' It wasn't AS bad as it sounded. He was use to/resigned to weird things happening now and having every other day to heal up was (these days) more then enough for him to recover from whatever beating he'd taken the day before. The part that was getting to him was that it had been a very peaceful week. 7 days. 7 days of relative peace and harmony in the house broken up only by a malleting or three. By now he wasn't all that far from losing it, wondering what possible nightmarish 'adventure' could have been building for all this time. Whatever it was it sure as hell was going to be a dozy.

At noon he walked in to gulp down Kasumi's cheerfully prepared meal all the while trying to conceal the nervous tic that had taken up residence on his cheek. Carefully, each of the other members of the house hold was inspected. It did not settle him that they were all cheerful and calm. 'Damn it, if something doesn't happen soon I'm gonna go pick a fight with Kuno. Can't let the weirdness build up anymore or it'll really be hell when it lets loose!'

"Ranma-kun?"

Everyone at the table blinked repeatedly as Ranma nearly jumped through the ceiling at the sound of Kasumi's dulcet voice. "Ranma-kun, is wrong? You seem so tense this morning." Laughing uneasily Ranma let go of the ceiling tiles and landed without a sound in his seat.

"D-don't worry about it Kasumi, just feelin' a bit jittery this morning I guess." 'It's no good. I need to calm down somehow.' Frowning, the cursed martial artist stood up and started to leave, hands shoved in his pockets. "I'm going out to train a bit. I'll be back in time for dinner." There wasn't much response to his announcement, just a few mumbles of acknowledgment. Akane said something about womanizing perverts under her breath but since the other fiancées hadn't been around lately(and school was on break) her temper was on just a low simmer. Unfortunately, the lack of accusation only made him more paranoid then before.

* * *

In an empty lot not far away from an unsuspecting Ranma reality briefly weakened. It was a more common occurrence then an ignorant/lesser being would have thought. The universe existed in a perpetual state of entropy, after all, slowly heading towards a collapse of all matter followed by an explosive rebirth known commonly as 'The Big Bang'. Higher level planar entities who lived through one of these events found it to be a thing of great beauty and truly moving emotion. Too bad it's so rarely seen right?

Anyways, back in the everyday, the opening provided by this common happening was swiftly taken advantage of and as the _near-rift_ (4) recovered a certain fanged and cursed Lost Boy stepped out. Paying no attention to his surroundings Ryoga began skipping as his sub-conscious took note of the natural sunlight he'd stepped into.

"Today's the day, yes indeed! Today's the day that Ranma falls!"

'I wonder how long it'll take to find the bastard. I wanna see the look on his face sooooo badly!'

"Wherever you are, prepare yourself Ranma! Your days are numbered now!"

* * *

After leaving the house Ranma wandered aimlessly on top the walls and roofs of Nerima. Out in the open where he could see everything happening around him Ranma felt a little better. Maybe he thought, he should just be happy that he got a break from it all. 'Maybe having to fight Saffron and deal with The Wedding so close together bought me some sorta karmic credit or something?' Thinking about it about like that it made some sense right? He couldn't suffer all the time(5). Finally relaxing into a more normal pose for himself the martial artist only walked a block more before he heard the triumphant voice of his most skilled rival.

"Wherever you are, prepare yourself Ranma! Your days are numbered now!"

"I guess P-chan's finally back in town. That's pretty good time for him actually." Curious, and more confident then he'd been in a couple days Ranma diverted off his path to check out what ever it was to make Ryoga so happy. 'New technique or cursed artifact. Either way it'll mean everything going back to the way it was.'

* * *

Several blocks from where Ryoga and Ranma swiftly headed to a confrontation Akane Tendo stormed down the streets, her infamous temper ablaze. After days of calm her fuse had been lit by an off-hand comment by Nabiki about how it was the first time in 3 days that Ranma had left the house. Akane wasn't quite sure how, but the innocent(for once) remark had convinced her that Ranma was in fact going to find out why his floozies hadn't come by in a while. Soon she came to a simple crossroad, offer a choice between going left and right. Absently she went left heading towards the Cat Café. Behind the temperamental girl the _Snap-point(6)_ quietly faded away, the decision made.

* * *

Crouched on a fence Ranma regarded his best pal/rival/training partner with a well trained eye looking for some change in body or aura that would signal a new technique or power. When several moments of Ryoga skipping failed to reveal anything the pig-tailed martial artist unhappily concluded that pig-boy had found another crappy magic artifact. 'Fucking again! What is it with p-chan and the Freak finding all this damn junk! At least the Ghoul has an excuse, bringing all this shit over when she came to see what Shampoo's problem was.'

Ranma Saotome was not a happy man.

The relief he'd felt at the return of 'normalcy' was quickly fading at the thought of dealing with whatever the 'Great and Powerful' magic charm was supposed to do. No matter who was tossing them around the damn things always screwed up somehow and he'd FUCKING be the one to deal with it. **Again!**

Recalling Doctor Tofu's advice about stress and blood pressure Ranma did a few deep breathing exercises, something he had become alarmingly familiar with since he and the old man had shown up. Ryoga of course went right by him with out noticing, too lost in his happy place to pay attention. Briefly Ranma considered letting him continue on his way but chances were that if he did the other man come back at a much worse time for him and make him doubly screwed just as all the fiancées blew their collective stacks.

It's not paranoia if they're all really out to get you…

"So Ryoga, what's gotcha whistling and skippin'?"

Nearly jumping out of his skin at the suddenness of the question the fanged fighter whirled around, falling into a defensive stance. Seconds later he slid to something more aggressive seeing that it was only _Him_. "Funny that you should ask Saotome, because I've got something that will make sure that you never hurt Akane ever again!"

Rolling his eyes Ranma waited for the Lost Boy to dig through his enormous travel pack, tossing most of it to the side as he looked for…whatever it was. Minutes passed before Ryoga finally straightened back up clutching a head-sized box with a pipe sticking out of it. Blinking and scratching his head Ranma wondered what kind of magic box had a nozzle on it? From where he sat he couldn't see a line on it to mark a lid though it did have 2 buttons on the top that read 'Change' and 'Reverse'. What did he have now….

"Ryoga, do you even know what that thing does? I mean, it's got an instruction manual or something right? Even Pops doesn't mess around with magic unless it's got a booklet or…"

"Shut up, Saotome! I heard her talking and I know all I need to know about this, this, thingy!"

"…Thingy?"

"Thingy."

Ranma stared blankly for some time before the ridiculousness of the comment got to him and his head dropped down with a muttered curse. 'Why is it always me? What could I have possibly done to deserve this? I ain't the nicest guy but Kami damnit! (7)'

Ignoring Ranma's mumbles about shit-heaps and shovels, Ryoga finished aiming the 'box' at him and took a second to really enjoy the moment. 'I wonder if all vengeance feels this sweet…' "Ranma Saotome, prepare to be transformed into a fuzzy bunny!" Without hesitation the Eternally Lost Boy pressed the 'Change' button and fired the device.

If Ryoga had shouted anything else things would have happened differently. If he'd screamed 'Ranma Saotome, prepare to die!' or maybe 'Take your punishment like a man!' he would have dodged the beam on pure instinct. If he'd said nothing Ranma would have feel the hairs on the back of his neck go up and gotten the hell out of there. But no. Pig-boy had gone and yelled something about 'Fuzzy Bunnies'. What the kind of friggin' self-respecting martial artist names an attack after bunnies. Well, Konatsu might have but he was pretty fucked up mentally anyways. Living with harpies _that_ ugly _that _long would have done the same to any man.

Anyways, the grey beam did its job and the world quickly shrank for our favorite pig-tailed martial artist (like you know any others…) as his finely tuned body under went incredible changes. When it was done everything went dark as his clothes collapsed on him. Struggling and screaming every curse he knew Ranma fought his way to freedom popping out clumsily in his new body. A quick hop managed to right him and a single look at Ryoga told him just how much he'd shrunk. Not Good. 'Ryoga! Change me back now or I'll 'spar' you to a pulp!' Getting altered wasn't doing his temper any favors and neither did what came out his mouth instead of a blistering threat.

"MIYAH! Miyah miyah miyahhhhhh!"

Both fighters froze, stock still, at the sounds being uttered. Ranma because of confusion and the slight resemblance to the dreaded cry of …the furry things. Ryoga because, because, well…

"Bwa-hahahahaah 'snort' hahahahahah! Listen to 'snicker' you! You sound like a magical girl mascot or something! Hehehehe!" With this Ryoga collapsed into a heap, unable to control his laughter. It was unfortunate for him; this meant he couldn't see what was happening right in front of him.

You'd think that even laughing he would have been able to sense the immense build up of power in Ranma's little cabbit body.

* * *

**Sub-dimension 1179 - 'Washu's Laboratory'**

**1:27 p.m. - Relative time based on emergence point of Sub.-1179**

BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEE-Clang!

Satisfied that the shrieking alarm had been well and truly silenced, one Washu Habuki drifted to one her numerous information stations. She wasn't particularly worried about what ever set off her alarm. Anything dangerous -by her rather lax standards- would've set off her REALLY annoying alarms. This was probably just a 'minor inconvenience'. "Lets see…bringing up the alarm log, scanning for registered dangers, launching localized sensors programs…ah-ha! There it is! Now, lets see what had the nerve to interrupt my nap…"

The residents of the Masaki shrine knew without doubt that today was going to be a bad day when they heard Washu scream…through a dimensional barrier.

"!"

* * *

"…and I'll never touch myself in naughty places ever again Kami-sama if you'll just let me get through this alive! I don't even have to even have to be in one piece, jus…"

**BOOM!**

"MIYAH!" ^Die you cock-sucking motherfucker! DIE! DIE! DIE!^

The residents of Nerima where used to odd sights and events. Why, even before that Saotome boy came along they'd never been a 'normal' district by any means.

This, however, took the cake, ate it, and then threw up in your toilet a hour later.

It just wasn't every day that you saw a master level martial artist (8) run the hell away from a flying, glowing, black furred jack-rabbit.

"MOMMY!"

Yep. Definitely new.

* * *

…boom

"Nabiki, do you know where Ranma went? I looked at both of the hussy's restaurants and he hasn't been to them all day."

Lazily, the middle Tendo daughter looked up from her magazine to her baby sister. "You sure Akane, they might have just said that they didn't see Ranma to trick you." 'Not that its all that hard to trick you baby sister.'

Boom

"No. I asked some of the customers too and they didn't see him either."

"Weird. I guess its another one of those quiet days; we've had a lot of them lately."

Akane nodded happily "I know. It's really nice to have some peace for once. I hope it lasts." Nabiki snorted in amusement.

"As if little sister. Where ever Ranma goes, insanity follows like a lost puppy."

BOOM!

Both sisters looked up at that last explosion. "Hmm, seems like its coming closer." Both curious they stepped outside and headed to the gate, followed by Kasumi and even Soun and Genma. Quietly they lined up on the sidewalk staring at the far end of the street closest to the sounds. It was not long before the source came around the corner screaming like a little girl.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEIIII!"

**BOOM!**

"Is that Ryoga?" Akane asked her sister "Is that rabbit _glowing!_" Eyebrow quirked Nabiki watched the fanged martial artist flee down the street, tattered clothes leaving trails of smoke in the air. Not 10 meters behind him said 'rabbit' fired a beam of red light from somewhere around its eyes destroying a property wall.

**BOOM!**

Smirking Nabiki lifted her trusty camera and snapped off a few pictures as the strange duo disappeared around the corner. "Well everyone. It looks like quiet time is over. Any one want to make a bet about how deeply involved Ranma is in this?" Barely audible over the fading explosions was the sound of pockets being searched for spare change.

* * *

**Earth - 531, 796,710.95 R.5/TenMu-AU/C**

Masaki Shrine, Japan

1:31 p.m. - Local Standard time

In the living room of the Masaki household a rare moment of cooperation took place. Carefully, the majority of the family members approached the entrance to Washu's lab. Though not off limits, Washu herself was really the only one who spent a great amount of time here. After a silent game of rock-paper-scissors Ryoko was picked to knock on the door.

"Mom? Mom what's going on it there, we could hear you screaming over the TV."

Seconds later the door flew open and Washu rushed out, unidentified equipment in hand. "Big news everyone! Huge news!" Waving a holographic screen over her head, the tiny scientist smirked in anticipation . "I found a cabbit here on earth!"

Ryoko snorted, unimpressed. "Yeah mom, Ryo-ohki is right here." Washu shook her head still smirking.

"Not Ryo-ohki, a _second_ cabbit, some where in the Nerima district. It showed up on my scanners just a few minutes ago." Murmurs greeted her declaration.

"Are you certain Washu?"

"Absolutely Katsuhito. I've checked it 3 times. It's definitely a cabbit, and its been fighting something!" Ryoko's head snapped up at that comment thinking of her own incredibly sweet-natured partner.

"Fighting? Do you know what it's fighting?"

"Nope!"

Ryoko's check twitched. "If there's a cabbit out there fighting for its life, don't you think we oughta do something mom?" Washu blinked briefly before looking sheepish.

"Err, right. Lets get going on Ryo-ohki shall we?"

* * *

**Earth - 531, 796,710.95 R.5/TenMu-AU/C**

A random dark alley, Nerima, Tokyo, Japan

1:59 p.m. - Local Standard time

It had been a long and very painful flight for Ryoga, constantly being hit by those red beams, crashing through walls, being pelted by cars and some of the less dangerous martial artists of the district. If Ryoga had ever heard the phrase Death March he probably would have used it to describe the 30 block run from the lot in which he'd transformed Ranma to this dingy alleyway where he'd finally been pinned down in. Wearily the Lost Boy eyed his tormenter as the man-turned-cabbit hopped menacingly towards him.

"Miyah, miyah." ^Give me the box Pig-boy.^

Ryoga stared blankly, unable to understand what his rival was saying.

"MIYAH! Mi-yah miyah!" ^Damn it Ryoga! Give me the box and I'll let you go!^

"I don't know what you're saying Ranma, but you probably want the box don't you?" Ranma nodded quickly, glad to see the other boy showing a little common sense(self-preservation). There was a long, quiet moment as Ryoga shifted his cargo to stare directly at the 'Reverse' button on top of the box. A single push was all it would take to turn Ranma back into his normal form. _To once again be the _best _martial artist._

_CRUNCH_

An all-consuming numbness sank into Ranma's mind as his only way to become human again was turned into scrap metal by Ryoga's incredible strength. Staring his rival square in the eyes Ryoga lobbed the newly minted junk at the other's feet with a loud clatter. "Fuck you Saotome. Lets see you be a man now."

Ryoga couldn't feel anything but a mild sense of satisfaction as he stared unflinching at increasingly enraged man/cabbit. There was no fear at the blood red rage aura forming. There was no regret about actions taken or not taken. Not even the anger and depression that were normally so deeply entwined with the image of his pig-tailed rival. There was _nothing_ but a mild, pleasurably feeling.

'You'll probably kill me with that new beam of yours you bastard, but I've finally got my revenge.'

Flushed with rage and sorrow Ranma subconsciously super-charged the ruby gem embedded in his forehead. Thinking only of getting even with latest wrong in his young life the martial artist prepared to fire.

^Take this you…!^ As the energy beam compressed for release the world around him jumped and blurred and quite suddenly Ranma found himself someplace, else.

Back in the alley Ryoga stared silently for several minutes waiting for something to happen, anything at all. When nothing did and it became obvious that his attacker well and truly gone he dropped flat on his back and began to laugh. It was an ugly, broken laugh of a man who has just looked his own death in the eyes and has barely escaped with his sanity intact.

_It would be hours before anyone worked up the nerve to see what poor soul would make such a sound…_

(1) The only individuals better at this particular skill are Akane, the Kuno clan as a whole, and a mother-in-law; any mother-in-law. Moose and the fiancés come close. Genma, Soun, Nabiki, and Kasumi all hear just fine but choose to ignore things they don't like. Ranma? Who the hell knows man…

(2) He's never heard of a cabbit before so he thinks she's just mispronouncing it.

(3) The psycho from the 7th plane strikes again!

(4) A _near-rift _being a section of reality that is not a full-blown tear and thus easily accessible and weakened allowing for easier travel for higher plane beings.

(5) If you suffered constantly it wouldn't really be suffering anymore, just a facet of your life. Taking tiny breaks lets you remember what its like not to be in pain and thus suffer a great deal more for it. Sucks right?

(6) _Snap-points _are any big life hanging events, its just there are so many people only really track the 'What the Hell!' moments. Much easier.

(7) Actually, he'd been a literal saint in his previous life but his reincarnation paper-work had been accidentally switched with Al Capone's. What a twist!

(8) Watch the anime and TRY and tell me those crazy bastards aren't at Least master level. Just without the self-control that comes with years of focus and self-improvement.

Chapter One: Complete!

Author's Note;

I'm afraid I never really learned to type the proper way and it really shows in my work. Everything I put down has to be double and triple checked for the stupidest little mistakes and every time I do I see this or that little thing that could be changed or tweaked to try and make the story more enjoyable. Anyways, this is my first real story and if even one person enjoys it then all the time I spent fussing over it will have been worth it.

In the spirit of fun I've always enjoyed the omakes that pop up in this story or that. Its sort of like going to the theater and having a stand-up comedy skit during the intermissions. If any one thinks up any little quotes or omakes for 'Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah!' I would love to see them. I'll post the really good ones and cite you as the source for it. Of course this is only if you give me permission to do so. I look forward any response you care to make.

Sincerely,

Tigee86 A.K.A. The Dire Teddy Bear.

Someone asked what would happen if the Cabbit Transformation box were to misfire as it was destroyed. Lets find out...

_Submission by Kytranis: Yukinari of Girls Bravo._

"You Idiot!" Kirie shouted kneeing Yukinari in the face and giving the gynophobic boy what any other male would call a very nice view, he flew backwards towards the now glowing bathtub reflecting another bathroom entirely complete with a very cute girl on the other side, just in time for a red beam of light to blast through the window and he was gone in an instant.  
"Yuki...nari? What happened?" Kirie asked concerned to the now empty bathroom.

A few hours later Yukinari came to feeling funny, that red beam had knocked him out. He was comfortable and very warm with a faint grape smell, absentmindedly he got up not realizing he had been transformed, or that he was now floating. "Oh wow! Cutie-chan can fly! Animals from Earth are amazing!" a girl with pink hair and eyes, pale skin and three dots on her forehead said excitedly.

"Wow, some girls have all the luck. Miharu, just remember little sister you have to clean up and feed the little fluff ball." what looked like a darker version (Tan and hair wise) and bustier version of the smaller girl said kindly as Miharu plucked Yukinari out of the air and gave him a hug. Thus began the new life of Cutie Sena-Kanaka, formally known as Yukinari Sasaki. Although gaining a mostly human form two years later and ending up marrying his 'owner' caused a hell of a stir. Needless to say the cabbit had lost his fear of women very quickly. Being pampered by them day in day out does that to you.


	2. 2, or Houdini Would be Proud

**Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah!**

**Disclaimer:** Welcome back viewer! As always, the writer of this fan fiction claims no ownership of the creative works being fanfic'd. Ranma ½ and Tenchi Muyo still lie in the hands of their original authors. But, you can enjoy my creative juices dribbling across your computer screen in the form of RSDM, chapter 2! Please note I am not to be held responsible for illness, physical or mental, that you might be inflicted with by scrolling down. Ok, love you, good-bye nice lady!

"Normal Speech"

'_Inner thoughts'_

^Telepathy^

* * *

_In a crimson haze the world jumped and blurred, stopping only to leave him in a strange new place. The room was shaped like a hemisphere, one that seemed to be carved out of crystal. Scattered about in chairs that rose from the floor were people as odd as the room itself. Women with exotic hairs colors, women who floated in midair, a pair of males who radiated immense power to his trained senses. Still disoriented he cast his gaze about not noticing the increasing discomfort coming from his brow. Where was he? Why did the younger male and the tiny female have the stronger auras when the older male, the floating female, and the kimono-clad Amazon had better trained and organized auras? It didn't matter, he had something to do didn't he? Something…something to do with a pig. Or a traitor. One of the two. But he had to do it soon before the pig-traitor got away with it. _

_Strange…what was that red light? And why…did it…hurt… _

* * *

**Earth - 531, 796,710.95 R.5/TenMu-AU/C**

Lower Earth Orbit(LEO) above Nerima, Tokyo, Japan

1:55 p.m. - Local Standard time

In the command center of Ryo-ohki's ship form the more combat capable residents of the Masaki shrine waited quietly for Washu to finish pin-pointing the unknown cabbit's location. Levitating above the captain's chair Ryoko sorted through the results of Ryo-ohki's sensor system. The former space pirate was not happy. Somewhere down there was an innocent cabbit, no doubt lost and confused and under attack. The poor thing didn't even have a partner if what her mother had said was correct. Though, thinking about, that seemed…off. '_Didn't mom make all the cabbits? Why would there be one she didn't recognize?'_

"A-ha! I've pinned him down! Over here in the eastern block!" laughing gleefully the scientist projected a holographic map complete with a 'Cabbit is Here!' arrow pointing an alley.

"You heard her Ryo-ohki, take us over there." After a 'miyah!' of confirmation Ryoko turned to face her mother/creator. "A boy cabbit huh? You sure about that?" Washu smirked confidently.

"Of course I am. It's a male cabbit, and a really young one at that." Next to Tenchi Ayeka blinked.

"Lady Washu, how do you know that this cabbit is young?"

"Easy, he doesn't have a bond mate. Cabbits are driven to form a partnership. They can't stand being alone."

"It doesn't hurt them does it?"

"Of course not Tenchi, it's a simple biological imperative. It can be resisted but they REALLY don't like to. Which is good for you Kiyone."

The Galactic Police officer jumped a little at the mention of her name. "Um, why me?"

Washu shrugged, eyes glued to her computer. "I figured you'd be the best person to bond the little guy to. You're calm, responsible, supportive, and besides, I already made Mihoshi a really nice ship; why shouldn't you have something." Kiyone blinked again, considering it. It _would _be nice to have transportation of her own. Mihoshi was a sweet person but her piloting could drive an atheist to religion. Slowly she looked around, imagining having a cabbit partner.

It was a surprisingly pleasant image.

Cabbits were very loyal after all. Powerful and affectionate to their partners. Why, if she was the captain of a cabbit she'd be promoted for sure if just so Headquarters could better observe her partner/ship's performance. Odd looks were directed Kiyone's way when the green-haired officer began giggling manically. 'Never going to be stuck with Mihoshi again, never going to be stuck with Mihoshi again!'

At the helm Ryoko's expression light up. "I've got a lock on him, Ryo-ohki, bring him up!"

"MIYAH!"

Snapping out her trance Kiyone checked her side-arm. "All right people, get ready! Whoever was attacking him won't let him go easy." '_Don't worry my soon-to-be partner, mommy's gonna take good care of you and we'll never have to fly with Mihoshi ever again, Mwa-hahahahaha!_' A flash of light in the center of the command module let them know that the transfer had been successful and kept them from staring at a cackling Kiyone.

Huddled on the floor was their mystery cabbit. He had the same general appearance but it was going to be very easy to tell the two apart. Where Ryo-ohki had brown fur and eyes, with white highlights on her tail, stomach, and feet, the male cabbit had glossy black fur with red highlights and storm blue eyes. Oh, and the gem embedded on his forehead was glowing…brightly.

"Washu, is that supposed to be happening?"

"Well, technically, yes. But most cabbits never figure out how to do it. If he's able to able to do that now it's a pretty strong indication that's got a talent for fighting. A war model maybe?" The scientist drifted off in thought staring absently while Ryoko gave Ryo-ohki the order to turn back and head home.

"Mom, any idea why we haven't been attacked yet?" Washu snapped out of her light trance with a hmmm.

"Without a look at who it was I'd say that they were either locals who mistook him for vermin or morons who were going to try and …"

**BOOM!**

Had the Japanese government possessed the technology to see a cloaked cabbit they would have been shocked to witness Ryo-ohki's ship form suddenly convulse mid-flight as she and her crew reeled from the unexpected explosion within her interior. Inside, only Washu was unaffected, her shields constantly active. The rest lay scattered about groaning unhappily but only slightly injured. Snickering, the diminutive inventor drifted towards the now unconscious cabbit. "Can't wait to get you under a medical scanner and see who made you my little guinea pig." Even unconscious said guinea pig shivered.

* * *

**Sub-dimension 1179 - 'Washu's Laboratory'**

**5:23 p.m. - Relative time based on emergence point of Sub.-1179**

"Hmmm…interesting." Tapping her foot mid-air the greatest scientific mind in the Universe (Self-proclaimed) sifted through screens of the information she'd gathered so far, trying to puzzle it together. First off, the little guy wasn't her work, no chance. Oh sure the cabbit DNA was nearly identical but the energy channels were too crude to be one of her designs. His energy source on the other hand…she had no clue what THAT was but at a guess she'd wager that it was organic in nature. It seemed more flexible then Ryo-ohki's system, but not as powerful…yet. Some of her more advanced tests suggested that his core would continue to grow until the day he died. Quite frankly, if the channels could be smoothed out she would almost consider it a better approach. It made her wish his creator had left some sort of signature in his DNA.

Secondly, he was a lot older then expected. Washu had figured him out to be 18 years old but his mind showed no signs of a previous bond. His psyche did however posses numerous signs of abuse and trauma. It'd been so bad that she'd had to go in and physically repair the areas controlling his social awareness, sex drive, and artistic/long-term memory centers. After having to clean out that mess Washu was positive it was the reason he hadn't yet formed a bond. Absently she put down a memo reminding herself to hunt down and 'discuss' certain things with his abuser.

Out the corner of her eye Washu noticed her test subject was beginning to stir. Smiling widely the inventor grabbed a recently plucked carrot and slowly waved it under the little guys nose to help him wake up.

_CRUNCH_

Eyebrows raised Washu grabbed another carrot and tossed it towards the cabbit only to see this one disappear in a single bite as well. "Computer, open informational log: Little Black Cabbit." _beep_ "My new guinea pig has awakened hungry it seems. Placing a full plate of carrots in front of test subject to-"

__

"-determine just how hungry. 30 carrots eaten in 4.2 seconds. I better get something else for him before he goes into a full feeding frenzy and turns my lab into an all-you-can-eat buffet. Where's that basket I…uh-oh."

At the mention of "buffet" the cabbit's head had snapped around and focused squarely on her. When she had broken eye contact to look for the basket of vegetables she'd brought into the lab he'd swept his gaze around and had promptly gotten a gleam in his eyes. A gleam that would send any researcher into a full scale panic. "Oh no, no you don't! Don't you dare!"

^FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!^

"NO! Bad cabbit, bad! Aaaahhhhhhh!"

* * *

**Earth - 531, 796,710.95 R.5/TenMu-AU/C**

Dining room, Masaki Shrine, Japan.

6:02 p.m. - Local Standard time

Dinner was an unusually quiet affair that night. The normal stories, questions and laughter all silenced by Washu's fuming glare. Even Ryoko and Ayeka, who normally couldn't stop fighting for anything were behaving. The only one at the table who wasn't affected by the tiny rosette's gimlet eye was Sasami. After waiting several minutes for someone to say something the innocent princess turned to face the stewing scientist. "What's wrong Washu, did something happen to the poor little cabbit?" The rest of the of diners subtlety shifted to better hear the answer. They may have feared Washu's temper but they were still curious. Twitching, Washu responded very slowly, obviously trying to keep herself from exploding in Sasami's face.

"Oh he's fine now. Just fine, heheheh."

"Do you think I should bring him something to eat after dinner Washu?"

A rapid tic started under Washu's left eye. "Don't worry Sasami-chan, Ran ate his fill of my lab already." Ayeka's nose scrunched up slightly.

"Don't you mean IN your lab Miss Washu?" Twitching furiously now, Washu turned to face the younger woman.

"No. I don't."

Winces went around the table at that comment. Washu was extremely proud of her laboratory and would often yell at Mihoshi whenever the clumsy Galaxy Police officer damaged or broke something. To have even a modest amount of it eaten and therefore be irrecoverable, it was no wonder she was so mad. Eager to change the subject Ryoko latched onto something that seemed safe.

"So mom, you named him Ran-ohki?"

The older woman took a deep breath before responding in a much calmer tone. "Not quite. Ran is just the short version of his name. It was all I could get out of him, well that and 'Food!'" Sasami giggled and picked up the other cabbit in the house.

"Wouldn't that be funny Ryo-ohki? Ryo-ohki and Ran-ohki! You'd be like a brother and a sister!" Ryo-ohki miyah'ed back happily. A brother as her childish mind understood it was a friend that played with you and dug up yummy carrots for you. Between Tenchi and her new brother she'd be waist deep in carrots!

Washu smiled a little watching the two them plan their first play date with their new 'brother'. They were such sweet little things.

"Not quite girls. He's not Ryo-ohki's brother so much as he is her very distant cousin. Think a 7th cousin twice removed."

Princess and cabbit blinked in surprise. "Wow! That's really far isn't it?"

Washu, feeling the mood over come her pulled out her professor's robe and lectern, tasteful glasses cutely perched on her little nose. "Very far. In fact at that point two individuals would have little in common then species!" Ryo-ohki miyahed sadly already missing those extra carrots. "Still, as one of the few cabbits around I'm sure he will be quite friendly." Washu blinked. "Well, you know, if he ever over comes his programming." _That_ comment got some attention.

"What programming?"

"I'm glad you asked Katsuhito! If you had to classify cabbits Ryo-ohki here would be an armed courier; fast, agile, top of the line sensors, rapid inter-system travel, and reasonably armed for defense. Ran-ohki, or Ran-Ma as he says it, on the other hand is an elite fighter model. Quick, nimble, an ultra-advanced ECM module/tactical computer, and armed to the teeth. He's slower to travel between star systems and he doesn't have Ryo-ohki's carrying capacity but he would be a nightmare to fight." Katsuhito frowned. Washu had given a good description of Ran's abilities, as scary as they were (1), but she had completely side-stepped his question.

"Washu, what programming?"

With a sigh, Washu's academic get-up disappeared. "Cabbits are brilliant, but simple minded; a living super-computer with the world view of a small child. They were designed that way so they wouldn't overwhelm their bond-mates. Ryo-ohki has three main goals. Making Ryoko happy, having fun, and eating something yummy. Ran-Ma has three goals too; combat, consumption, survival. All he wants to do is eat and fight. When I was repairing the damage to his mind-set I noticed a crude slave program. Obviously, I got rid of it. What I didn't know until afterward was that someone had put it on him to keep him from lashing out at full strength. Now the only thing that would control him is a bond-mate with a lot of willpower." A wink was thrown Kiyone's way. Anyone who could constantly deal with Mihoshi with out going insane had the willpower of a mountain.

Seeing nervous looks all around the table Washu snickered. "What? You guys don't think I'd let someone like that just wander around do you? Until he finishes recovering tomorrow and gets bonded I've got him strapped down and on a high dose of the cabbit version of diazepam. Speaking of which, I better go check to see that he's still down. Meet me in the lab early tomorrow Kiyone; we'll get the two of you bonded then!"

The rest of the evening passed quickly and quietly, everyone discussing tomorrow's special event.

* * *

Bright and early the next morning the shrine residents got up and headed to Washu's lab, curious about the bonding. The three participants didn't mind much. Kiyone was already too worked up about this to really pay attention to her housemates and Washu was utterly focused on the event itself as well as recording it for future study. Ran-Ma was still not fully aware of his surroundings even though Washu had stopped his diazepam drip without telling anyone. She had been afraid that he wouldn't form a bond with the GP officer if he wasn't fully in control of himself. Humming quietly Washu placed two circular patches on Kiyone's forehead explaining that because she didn't have an empathetic or telepathic ability of her own the patches would jump-start the bonding process. After sending everyone else behind safety glass and snatching up her control pad Washu gave the signal to start. Thinking happy friendly thoughts the GP officer projected them outward and looked straight into the cabbit's eyes.

On the medical table Ranma was putting his memories back together and trying to figure out just where he'd woken up at when he felt something nudge at his thoughts. Stupidly he looked up into the green-haired women's eyes and everything disappeared.

_When her eyes opened Kiyone found herself deep in an old forest, the trees around her giants of their kind, exuding an aura of wisdom and peace. The cool night air was so full of energy and life that even a spacer girl like herself could feel her blood sing in response. Looking about she couldn't help but wonder how the two of them had come here since cabbits were space faring creatures. Washu had explain that to form a proper bond the two of them would meet in Ran-Ma's mindscape and there they would speak with each other. If Ran-Ma accepted her they would be bonded. Setting her shoulders Kiyone decided to take the process in hand and set off in a random direction at a steady pace. It was only the two of them in here, how long could it take to find him? Fairly long it would seem because hours passed without meeting yet the GP officer could feel the presence watching her. She did not tire though and in time she came to a small clearing, a humble building blending into the forest._

_It was undecorated and given a natural color finish to prevent rot. Four walls, a roof as tall as the wooden floor were wide, a pair of traditional sliding doors facing her. She could hear nothing inside but where else would the cabbit be? Opening the doors and stepping inside Kiyone took in the interior which was as plain as the exterior. The only relief from the finished wood was a small, sturdy shrine and a pair of wall scrolls. The left scroll read '_Anything Goes Martial Arts'_ and looked slightly aged. The right scroll looked much newer and stated '_My Honor is my Own. A man's word is His bond'_. It was only when she went to look at the shrine in the middle again that she saw him. Seated in a meditative position she didn't recognize was a young Japanese man with black, pig-tailed hair. His pure white Gi and black rope belt were simple and comfortable, displaying an athletic physique. It wasn't 'til he opened his storm blue eyes that Kiyone realized that this was Ran-Ma himself. _

"_You see yourself as human?" She blurted, unable to contain her surprise. Ran-Ma rose to his feet soundlessly, studying her intently before answering. _

_"I see myself as I wish." He responded in burred baritone. "Why are you here?" _

_Kiyone's nervousness came back in full force but she still spoke. "I'm Galaxy Police officer Kiyone. I'm here to ask you to bond with me." He didn't speak for a few moments. _

_"Why? Why me?" _

_Kiyone took a deep breathe and prepare to be as convincing as mortally possible. "You're a cabbit. A crystalline life form capable of space travel. More importantly you are a battle model cabbit, designed and bred for combat. As a GP officer I can not only give you the battle you crave but do good for the universe at the same time. Imagine what we could do to safeguard the galaxy! Together we would be a nearly unbeatable force for the Law." Looking hopefully into his eyes Kiyone could only ask. "Well? Will you be my partner Ran-Ma?" As the mental avatar in front of her continued to stare in silence Kiyone felt an increasing chill caress her spine. Somehow, she knew this would not end well._

"_My name is Ranma, not Ran-Ma, and it means Wild Horse. If ya want to tame me you must defeat me here in this dojo." Turning, Ranma headed to the shrine and offered a brief prayer. Unsure of what to do Kiyone fidgeted impatiently, her hand brushing the butt of her pistol. Facing her again Ranma fell into a stance. "Well? This match started the moment I said you must defeat me." Quickly the GP officer grabbed her pistol in a quick draw and fired. _

_She was not nearly fast enough._

_The shot went straight through the chest of the afterimage, the man himself reappearing in the corner. "I live, breathe, and will die by the Art. Can you understand that?" Swearing Kiyone fired again and again at the martial artist, never connecting. "No wonder you want me to be your partner if this is all you can do!" Swearing, the now pissed woman managed to step up her speed and accuracy but she still couldn't hit him. Every time she drew a bead on him he was already gone, his speed unreal. "Final chance, prove you understand or leave." Something about his comment tugged at her mind but she focused on shooting him, unwilling to go hand-to-hand against some one of that caliber. She didn't know what happened until after it was over and the dojo's roof filled her vision. Winded, she couldn't move when Ranma unexpectedly bent over her. "Ya seem like a decent person, talking and debating with me instead of demanding or accusing but the Art is too much of my life to form that kinda joining to someone who wouldn't be able to understand how I think. 'Bye." Just like that the link was broken and she was in the real world once more._

* * *

Gasping Kiyone fell on her butt trying to reorient herself after that intense of an experience. Still behind the safety shields everyone stirred thinking she'd completed the bond. A grin on her face Washu zipped over to seated officer. "Well, how do you feel? Can you feel you feel Ran-Ma's presence? I'm not quite sure how a partnership with this model works but sensing his presence should be pretty easy." Grimacing, Kiyone managed to get to her feet just as everyone came around the shields and up to her either asking questions or staring intently.

"Everyone!" It took two tries but they got quiet soon enough.

"I didn't form a bond." Pushing on quickly before people started yelling, she said "Ranma, that's his real name, told me he wouldn't accept a partner who couldn't 'Understand' something about a dojo. I didn't, and he told me I was a decent person but he wouldn't be my partner." Sniffling a little Mihoshi wrapped Kiyone in a bone-cracking hug.

"Poor Kiyone! You seemed sooooo happy when Washu said you could have a cabbit but now you don't get one!"

"H-help me!"

Distracting the over-enthusiastic blonde with a hand on her shoulder Katsuhito couldn't help but ask. "You said something about a dojo Kiyone?" Shoving away from her ditzy partner Kiyone nodded.

"Yes. When he appeared it was in the form of a young man in a white training outfit. There were scrolls saying 'Anything Goes Martial Arts' and 'My Honor is my Own. A Man's word is His bond.'"

Katsuhito seemed surprised but quickly smiled. 'An honorable student of the Anything Goes school. Will wonders never cease.' Still smiling the priest looked for Washu. "Washu, it would seem your theory about Ranma being a mindless fighter are wrong…Washu? What are you doing?"

Given her past history the only one not to immediately begin looking for the galactic scientist was Mihoshi. At the exam table Washu looked up from glaring blue eyes. "Hmm? What was that?" When she heard the question her own gaze light up. "Well, it seems that his mind is up and running at full capacity. Apparently the bonding attempt forced a reboot. I was even having a discussion with Ranma here. His mindset is remarkably mature for a cabbit, maybe mid-teen. His creator must have done it to make him fitter for combat when it arises." On the table Ranma rolled his eyes. All they'd had time to do was for Washu to 'tell' him how to speak through telepathy(Focus and projection) and exchange greetings. Well, she said hello. His comment had been more along the lines of 'don't you EVER drug me up again or I'll eat all of your lab next time.' Maybe she wanted to look good in front of everyone else?

Eh.

He'd thought briefly about telling these people about him being a human not a cabbit since they seemed to know so much about them but his pride wouldn't let him reveal something like that. It was bad enough that he had to be cute and fuzzy, but there was no way he was telling them he was really a guy. They did seem aware that he had no clue what to do with this form but were apparently convinced that it was due to the fact he was so young and ignorant. Maybe they would tell him if there anything special about this body.

"Miyah!" ^Hello, I'm Ryo-ohki! What's your name?^

Wondering why the cat-like sound hadn't made him shriek in terror, Ranma turned to face the voice and found something that looked like a rabbit with a few cat features tossed in for cuteness. '_Weird. She looks close enough to a cat that I should be nervous but I don't care. What's up with that?_' ^Um, hi. I'm Ranma. You're a cabbit right?^ Ryo-ohki giggled playfully.

^Course. I'm Ryoko's cabbit. Wanna play with me?^

Ranma's expression turned a little sheepish. ^I'm sorry, but I don't know how to play.^ Instantly sadness begin radiating from the smaller cabbit.

^Poor Ranma! That's so sad! Wahhh!^ A few seconds later she brightened back up. ^I know! I'll show you how to play and then we can go get Sasami and we can all play tag and have carrots! Yay!^ Ranma blinked in slight confusion as Ryo-ohki hopped next to him and began disjointedly describing all of a cabbit's Masu powers and how to use them. Her new friend had said he didn't know how to play after all, and you couldn't get a really good game of tag going if you couldn't fly darn it! Most of it didn't make sense but he didn't think Masu powers couldn't be mastered with some practice. It was only a matter of time before her ramblings made sense and he mastered this new form.

Overhead Washu and Ryoko both looked pleased for very different reasons. Ryoko wanted her companion to be happy and make a new friend of her own species. Washu on the other hand was already mentally calling them 'Control' and 'Guinea Pig'.

* * *

**Earth - 531, 796,710.95 R.5/TenMu-AU/C**

Lake front, Masaki Shrine, Japan.

11:37 a.m. - Local Standard time - 2 days after bonding attempt

Out by the shrine's small lake a black-furred cabbit leapt and spun in a complex pattern. To an untrained observer it looked like some sort of elaborate, but harmless dance. The Masaki residents knew better though and since Ranma had started these exercises shortly after his release from Washu's lab he hadn't been left unwatched even for a moment. Taking a risk the tiny scientist had let Ranma leave her lab after getting another set of scans and a crash course in a cabbit's abilities. Thinking it best to study his natural behavior Washu had applied her best stealth tech to her surveillance system and had been filming since. Katsuhito had been reluctant to allow this but Ranma's continued good behavior had soothed his suspicions a little. Of everyone Ryoko had spent the most time with their current house guest, training him. The cabbit had displayed an amazing learning curve, mastering the basics of his body in a single day. Moments of clumsiness and loss of control still plagued him but they were fading fast.

Pleased, the martial artist-turned-spaceship had devoted most of the morning to increasingly difficult Anything Goes katas. Ryo-ohki had been delighted at this and spent most of her morning watching and 'dancing' with her new friend. She'd only wandered off a few minutes ago upon smelling Sasami start lunch. On the porch Katsuhito watched Ranma start on near Master level katas while Ryoko looked on shouting advice and encouragement. Head shaking, the priest saw the visiting cabbit switch from style to style, all of them from earth. '_Watching him practice like this, one would swear his creator was an earthling. But then Washu insisted yesterday that no one on earth had the technology to create such an advanced life form_.'

Down by the water Ranma was deep in thought as well. Physically, things were moving along nicely. It was annoying not having access to his hard won skills but the Masu powers were interesting enough to make it bearable for now. No, most of the young man/cabbit's attention was on planning out his return to humanity. He got the sense from their auras and actions that these people were rather nice when they weren't worried about being attacked but he wouldn't find his cure here. He needed to get back to the Tendo Dojo and wait for Ryoga to come back. With those telepathy lessons from Washu under his belt he could question the fanged martial artist on where he got the box. Once the box-maker was found he'd just ask to be turned back into a guy and BAM! Home free. When he got back to the dojo in boy form he'd claim that he'd been on training trip and forgot to leave a note. Heck, maybe it even was a training trip. Some more practice flying and he was certain he'd be able to pull it off as a guy, just like Herb did. The possible pit falls and problems in his plan didn't even occur to him; he was too used to just winging it.

"Lunch time!"

Surprised by Sasami's sudden call Ranma flubbed a weight shift and landed face first. Above him Ryoko vanished, teleporting herself straight to the table. Grumbling cutely in his current form Ranma shook himself clean before darting off to chow. He didn't trust his teleporting ability to get him in the house yet, at least not without somehow smacking into something big and heavy. Silently, Katsuhito followed the smaller creature inside.

* * *

Lunch was interesting for the cursed martial, and surprisingly relaxing. Despite being louder, meals at the Masaki home were much more peaceful then at the dojo, even with Ryoko and Ayeka's arguments. He could slow down enough to actually taste his food though he hadn't until Washu had mentioned something about 'probing' for his manners. Ranma may not have watched much television in his life but even he knew the words 'probing' and 'scientist' were a really BAD combination.

If there was one problem it was that Kiyone insisted that he sit in her lap. Don't get him wrong, being pet felt pretty good but it was …creepy the way she lavished attention on him. It vaguely reminded him of his fiancées and sent chills down his spine(1). Honestly, the only reason he didn't escape her was his unfamiliarity with this body. Too clumsy to use the really subtle escape techniques and not willing to hurt someone who hadn't actively attempted to hurt him first. A little bored since no one but Kiyone was paying attention to him at the moment Ranma's eyes swept the table looking for anything worth thinking about. He saw nothing worthwhile till he saw Nobuyuki's newspaper. Excited, he scanned the paper until he finally spotted the delivery address on the paper. It was all he needed.

He'd learned to control his new body.

He'd learned how to use his body's powers.

He'd come up with a plan to regain his human form.

He had figured out where he had to go.

Now…all he had to do was make a clean escape.

At the table, nobody noticed Ranma smile around a carrot. Finally those house-breaking lessons his old man had given him would come in handy.

* * *

10:52 p.m. - Local standard time

All through the house, only one creature was stirring, a little cabbit named Ranma. Unseen and unheard he snuck from the nest of bedding Sasami had made for him in the corner of the living room. In no time at all he had made it to Nobuyuki's work lap-top. Slowly nosing it open and booting it up, the cursed martial artists struggled to recall half-hearted computer lessons. Lucky for him, his mind was currently a super-computer, a wireless super-computer. On the screen a notebook application opened up and text began appearing in neat lines. Surprised, Ranma read it and quickly identified it as the speech he'd been writing in his head since lunch. By eleven his goodbye letter to the Masaki's was finished. Nodding Ranma left the lap-top open to attract attention in the morning and moved to the window. Fearing Washu had the ability to track his Masu abilities, he didn't phase through the wall. Instead, old memories were dusted off and in no time the alarm was disabled and the window opened. Smirking he slipped out closing the window and re-arming the alarm. Tossing one glance over his shoulder, Ranma ran off into the night. He only had one more thing to do before he really got away.

6:19 a.m. - Local standard time

**WHhhhIIRrrrnnnn! WWHhhiiirRRRNN! WhhHIIIrrnnnn!**

Caught completely off guard the bedrooms erupted in a screaming panic as sleepy minds demanded to know why some %^ing $%$%!…had sent out a klaxon alarm. After crashing in the hallway the assembled mob rushed downstairs to see Ryoko clutching her ears and screaming insults at her mother. Mercilessly Washu played the alarm until she was sure she had everyone's undivided attention. _Click._

"All right everyone, we have a problem so listen up!"

Ryoko snarled angrily at that. "How we supposed to listen if we're all deaf!"

Washu made no move to apologize and instead waved Nobuyuki's lap top around. "Last night at 11:30 Ranma slipped past my anti-cabbit traps and alarms via the window. Before he got away he left a note on this thing telling us that he enjoyed our hospitality but he has to go 'take care of some business with a back-stabbing piglet'." There was some mass blinking at the quote. Sasami frowned thoughtfully, index finger tapping her lip.

"Washu-chan, what do you suppose the little pig did to make Ranma mad enough to leave?" Shrugging Washu put down the human computer and called up archives of last night's footage on her far more advanced tech.

"Alright boys and girls, we're going to spend today in town, handing out these clever 'Lost Pet' posters before he gets too far. Once someone calls in or he pings on my radar we'll swoop in and snatch him! He's as good as caught!" As she burst out in manic laughter the Washu-O's popped and began praising her. While groans abounded Sasami read the posters Washu had been waving around.

**Pet Rabbit Lost**

_Fur is black and red in color, answers to Ranma._

_Reward for live capture of escapee. Use carrots as bait._

_If found, contact Masaki Shrine at…_

* * *

(1.) He considers the description scary because that makes Ryo-ohki, who _successfully_ attacked Jurai on her own the less dangerous of the two.

(2.) Kiyone has resorted to the girls of Ranma-verse's Plan B: smother him in unwanted affection until he loves you back. Like the other girls she's heavily motivated to getting him to do what she wants. Unlike the others she just wants him to work with her to avoid Mihoshi's piloting. Ranma really has a way with the ladies doesn't he? 'Snicker'

* * *

_Ranma has escaped! What ever shall our intrepid hero do now? Find out next time on_ Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah!

Author's Note:

I'm sorry to any one who wanted to see an extended stay at the Masaki house but I know the Ranma universe much better then I know the Tenchi world so most of the fic will take place there from now on. Don't worry though, guest stars from Tenchi Muyo will be making appearances as the story progresses. Chapter 3 should have Ranma making it to Nerima but that's not set in stone. There may be a detour. As always, comments, reviews, and even flames welcome.

Sincerely,

Tigee86.

* * *

_Omake submission by VizeerLord:_

_Clack_ "Miyah."

_Clack_ "Miyah miyah."

Passing through the kitchen, Ryoko stopped, a bottle of sake in hand. Looking outside the ex-pirate was flabbergasted to see Ryo-ohki and Ranma sitting on the porch, a shogi board between them.

_Clack_ "Miyah."

...which they were playing it seemed. As Ryo-ohki raised her paw to make a move, the smaller cabbit suddenly pointed over Ranma's shoulder and began 'miyah'ing excitedly. Looking behind him Ranma never saw Ryo-ohki switch a few of the game pieces around.

"Miyah?" Asked Ranma quizzically when he turned back. A few moments of looking at the board the black-furred cabbit spoke again, much firmer. "Miyah! Miyah miyah!"

Ryo-ohki gave her most innocent look "Miyah..."

Shaking her head, Ryoko put her sake on the counter and started floating to the rafters.

"Can't believe I'm that drunk...wonder if mom put something in my drink again..."


	3. 3, or Who Says You Can't go Home Again?

** Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah!**

**Intro: **Helloooooo everybody! Welcome to chapter three! If you are reading this I can only hope that you have so far enjoyed RSDM and with luck will continue to do so. A big thank you to everyone who has sent in a review good or bad. I've taken a fair bit of your advice and some of you will notice a change in the structure of the story. Special acknowledgement to deitarion/Ssokolow for my new chapter sorting and Cat on a Shtick who had some very interesting ideas that I'll be using, including reminding me of a character from Ranma cannon I'd forgotten. In response to a few questions; no, Ranma will NOT end up with any of his fiancées. Just…no. On the other hand I'm not sure if this story is going to have Ranma pairing with any one at all considering his unusual circumstance. If he does it won't be for quite some time. That's enough spoilers for now, on to the story!

**Disclaimer:** Tigee, attorney-at-law here to inform you that my client, the writer, holds no ownership of the following literary material except for a little bit of the plot. All attempts to sue my client will be meet with the full extent of my super awesome power! Bwa-hahah, bwa-hahahHAhaha! 'Hack coughcough!'…water!

"Normal Speech"

'_Inner Thoughts'_

^Telepathy^

#Foreign Language#

* * *

**Earth - 531, 796,710.95 R.5/TenMu-AU/C**

Unknown alley, Juuban District, Tokyo, Japan

Two weeks after escaping the Masaki Shrine, 4:41 p.m. - Local Standard time

In the depths of a random grungy alley our protagonist crouches miserably upon the tattered ruins of a roadmap; the final ingredient of his escape from the Masaki Shrine. Found in the glove compartment of Nobuyuki's car the now ruined atlas had managed to lead the cursed cabbit from the Shrine all the way to Tokyo. Unfortunately, said map wasn't detailed enough to cover Tokyo itself. These past few days, lost in the city, Ranma had taken to using it as a sleeping mat to keep off the concrete. If only he could use his new cabbit powers he'd been back at the dojo already! But alas, he didn't dare. That Washu woman had found him awfully fast the first time, no doubt because he'd been firing lasers at Ryoga non-stop.

Well they wouldn't find him that easily this time!

'_Damn train station maps. They make 'em so high I can't read a thing. Wish I was human again, or taller_.' The light coming from the entrance of the alley flickered as another business man walked past. Ranma blinked as a vague thought worked its way into his skull. '_Maybe I could get someone to pick me up?_' Deciding it was worth a shot he hopped to the sidewalk and begin eying passers-by. He couldn't just risk anyone, it had to be the right person. Someone who'd wouldn't just pick him and put him down. They had to carry him long enough to walk by a station map.

'_Business man, mom and a baby, young couple, courier, 'nother business man…bingo!'_

Putting on his best 'Sad Puppy' eyes the transformed martial artist jumped out in front of a young girl in a school uniform. Locking gazes with wide shimmering eyes he left out a soft 'Miyah' to increase his cuteness factor, silently chanting 'pick me up, pick me up!' Luckily, his Neko-ken gifted instincts played out and she 'awed' before bending over and picking him up. Up-close, several oddities about her person began making themselves known. Two specific ones actually.

'_Oh shit. Purple eyes and enough magic to make Saffron be _Very_ polite…not…good.'_ (1)

Squirming uneasily Ranma started plotting a fast get away as his carrier chatted happily about how cute he was and how she'd always wanted a pet and maybe if nobody claimed him in a couple weeks maybe 'Haruka-papa' and 'Michiru-mama' would let her keep him. Swearing vengeance on whatever deity despised his very existence Ranma was swept down the street in the arms of a joyful teenage girl. His familiarity with situation was quite the cold comfort.

* * *

Shortly afterwards…

Humming happily one Hotaru Tomoe unlocked the door to her home with one hand, juggling her wiggling new 'pet' with the other. Finally taking him by the scruff of the neck she managed to get inside and relocked the door. "I'm home!" Hearing faint acknowledgment from the TV room the now giggling young woman wondered how best to convince her loving if somewhat over-protective adoptive parents that letting her have a pet rabbit she'd found in an alleyway was a good idea. Turning the corner Hotaru spotted Haruka and Michiru, but not Setsuna. Taking a deep breath she walked up in clear sight and held out her find.

"Look what I found! Can I keep him?"

Twitching slightly the couple turned towards their ward expecting the worse. Thankfully their daughter wasn't holding some slathering dog or a mangy looking alley-cat. Instead she had a hold of a healthy looking rabbit with black fur and red accents. Michiru started off gently, hoping not to upset the sensitive younger girl. "Hotaru, dear, where did you find this little guy?" Hotaru beamed, taking the calm tones as a sign of approval.

"I found him on the way home Michiru-mama. He jumped out right in front of me and looked up at me with the sweetest eyes! He was so cute I just had to pick him up. He didn't have a collar or anything, isn't that lucky!"

Ranma and Haruka both rolled their eyes at the same time though for rather different reasons. "Sweetie, if you wanted a pet you should have just told us instead of randomly grabbing one off the street. He's probably dirty or sick or something."

Hotaru pouted. "Even if he's sick I could always heal him. I promise to take the best care of him! Please, please let me keep him!" Curious about the healing comment Ranma twisted his head around to regard his captor as Michiru jumped back into the conversation. "Hotaru, even if he's perfectly healthy I'm sure such an adorable little bunny rabbit already has an owner. He or she is probably very worried about him even as we speak." As Hotaru looked down in shame at her thoughtlessness and her guardians shared a look the final member of their household walked out the kitchen with a mug of tea in hand. Smiling the green haired, red eyed Setsuna stepped up to the younger girl.

"Welcome home Hotaru, did you bring something from school today?" Still smiling she looked to see what Hotaru was holding. The other three residents jumped at the sound of Setsuna's mug hitting the ground and the Time Guardian's shout.

"Sweet Serenity! Where did you find…that!" Confused, Hotaru answered slowly.

"He walked up to me on the street Setsuna-mama. He even made this cute little noise so I'd notice him." Paling at the response Setsuna staggered over to couch and dropped onto it with distraught expression.

Leaning forward Haruka spoke in a whisper. "So what's up? This rabbit an enemy or something?" The elder woman frowned.

"I wish. If it was an enemy we could just have Usagi purify it and be done with it. With what that is, it's not so simple." Seeing the confused expressions around her Setsuna sighed and soldiered on. "He's an natural phenomena; a Chaos Generator. Put simply, he's been empowered by the universe to create minor amounts of chaos so that life can continue to grow and evolve. They can be …irritating but without them things just out-right stop." Watching the 'rabbit' she continued, sounding thoughtful. "What I don't understand is what he's doing in Juuban. With Usagi here radiating a strong Order presence he shouldn't even be willing to step foot in the district." At the mention of Juuban Ranma stiffened in thought. _'Juuban? That's fairly close, not next door but close. I can make it from here even with out a map. Just gotta get loose!'_ With another sigh Setsuna held out her hands. "I know you want to keep him Hotaru, but being so close to an Order generator will make him sick and vice versa. He needs to go." Delaying for a sniffle and a bit of cuddling Hotaru eventually surrendered him over to the Time Guardian.

"Good bye Mr. Bunny, I'll miss you." While Michiru and Haruka moved to comfort the youngest member of their group Setsuna moved quickly to the door, eager to get the living chaotic matrix as far away as possible. Pausing just before opening the front door the crimson eyed woman lifted her passenger up for a face to face moment. Ranma, for his part, had stopped struggling as soon as he realized that they were going to put him outside.

"Stay away from Juuban and the Sailor Senshi, rabbit. It'll be easier for everyone if you don't come around here again." The boy-turned cabbit gave her his most innocent look, not wanting to have an entire group of magical girls pissed off at him. As bad as his fiancées were, a group of magic-wielding, monster-slaying woman in borderline hentai outfits would only make his life far FAR worse then it already was. Frowning, Setsuna gave him a little shake, "Don't give me that look bunny boy. Generators are always sentient, they aren't interactive enough with the universe otherwise."

_Crap, time to start making excuses. Hope she can understand me or this could get uglier then Akane's cooking. I hope magical girls can hear telepathy. _^Wasn't gonna do nothing. Just lost and lookin' for a map. It's really friggin' hard trying to read a station schedule when you're looking from the floor.^ Setsuna nodded once in understanding before reaching for the door.

"Good. Now please kindly go away and don't come back." With that he was on the porch with the door slamming shut behind him.

^Bitch.^

"I heard that! Get before I break out my Garnet Staff and Dead Scream you back to the mountains!" Ranma got. (2)

* * *

**Earth - 531, 796,710.95 R.5/TenMu-AU/C**

Local market, Nerima Ward, Tokyo, Japan

Shortly before noon, the next day.

In one of the more peaceful produce markets of Nerima most of the local citizens failed to note a rabbit hopping and skipping his way through the crowd. Even those who did see him didn't pay much attention. In Nerima paying attention to the strange usually meant that it looked right back at you. In a ward infamous for having more half-crazed black belt martial artists per capita then anywhere else in the world, being noticed was a Bad Thing. So they didn't see the black rabbit, they didn't hear him hum 'On the Road Again', but they sure as hell talked about it in the privacy of their homes later on. Out of sight, out of mind was a rule of thumb with the local crazies. Still, all this meant that the rabbit, aka Ranma Saotome was pretty much given clear passage through the increasingly familiar streets of Nerima. He was really just _this_ close to the dojo and safety.

Too bad Ranma's never heard the saying 'Close only counts in Horseshoes and hand grenades.'

The poor man was dead center of the market when his Nerima trained danger senses kicked in at Def-con 3. Stopping, he began to glance around wildly. His current body was tough for its size but he _was_ smaller and weaker; he couldn't afford the usual ambushes he accepted to keep things as quiet as possible for this place. Ranma's fur began to bristle as his danger senses threatened to go up another stage. _'What the heck is going on? I usually only get this worked up when the Freak is pissed off. What's making me all riled up?'_ That's when he heard the shrill, childish scream.

"Jeanette! Come to Azusa, Jeanette!"

Ranma was a very proud young man. It drove him in ways little else did. A lifetime spent in the company of Genma 'For your own Good' Saotome destroyed much of what made him capable of relating to people and left in its place a monument to the Martial Arts. Little but death or honor overrode his pride. Too bad for Pride Ranma had heard Ryoga ranting about the female half of the Golden Pair's behavior. The word 'Jeanette' had barely left Azusa's mouth before Ranma added it up; Azusa(Jeanette + currently cute form) - full skill(cabbit powers) = GTFO!

The cabbit martial artist was off like a shot, using Ki to increase his speed to insane levels. Further back in the crowd Azusa did a quick check on her roller skate before pulling out a fishing net with neon-green netting. (3) "Be good Jeanette and let little Azusa put ribbons on your tail!"

* * *

"Miyaaaaaaaahhh!"

Diving between the legs of a local vendor Ranma leapt up and bounded off a half-off sign to land on a stall roof before jumping for the next roof down the way. On the ground Azusa whizzed through the crowd, a pink and be-ribboned dervish. "Stop running away Jeanette!"

Running out of roof Ranma's next leap ended on the head of an unsuspecting shopper. It was about that time that he came to the edge of the market. Biting back a curse that no one would have understood anyways he decided it was time to stop thinking like the cabbit he resembled and thought like the martial artist he really was. Alright, what could he do? Most of his tricks were useless at the moment thanks to his cabbit body. The Thieves Cloak was workable but honestly he felt a little uncomfortable using a technique that even his bonehead father thought needed to be sealed. Still, the Thieves Cloak was a no go if only because he didn't know how to work it as a cabbit. Same for Konatsu's Body Switch. Running wasn't doing him any good.

'_This sucks, you'd think with everything that goes on around here I'd have more escape techniques then this!'_

SWISH!

'_OK. That was WAY too close. I need to hide, now!'_

Then, as if she were a gift from the gods, he saw…her.

Now all he had to was lose Azusa and he was home free. _'I could try that but I only saw it once…plus if the Old Ghoul hears that I know it she be pissed that I stole one of her precious 'Amazon Secrets' instead of her 'generously' teaching it to me.'_

SWISH! "Ha! Little Azusa almost had you Jeanette!"

'_Screw it! If she didn't want me to steal it she shouldn't have used it on me!'_

"Miyah Miyahmiyah!" '_Splitting Cat Hairs Technique!_'

Only an incredibly observant person or a highly trained martial artist could have seen the slight blur that followed and few of those could have tracked it. Shouting Azusa continued skating down the street unaware that she'd been given the slip. Back up the block the woman that Ranma had spotted, stopped, blinking as she felt a sudden extra weight in her basket. Carefully she lifted the lid and peeked inside wondering if one of Ranma's little friends had dropped something in it. Instead she received a wonderful surprise, the most adorable little black rabbit, staring at her with wide blue-grey eyes that made her immediately think of the young man who had disappeared from her home 2 and a half weeks ago. With a gentle touch Kasumi Tendo reached into her grocery basket and gave the little guy a good scratch behind the ears. Smiling contently at his responding purr the young home maker started walking home at once deciding that fate had given her a boon and that she shouldn't disregard it.

It the basket Ranma smirked confident that that freaky little klepto wasn't going to find him anytime soon. _'This is prefect. I get to sneak into the dojo unnoticed, figure out what pig-boy's been up to, _and _probably first crack at dinner.'_ Nibbling on one the smaller vegetables in Kasumi's basket he wasn't quite fast enough to keep that damnable thought from crossing his mind. _'What could go wrong now?'_

The very instant he thought it lightning flashed and thunder rumbled out of the clear blue sky. Looking up in disbelief Ranma took the uneaten portion of a carrot and began smacking himself in the forehead.

'_Why do I keep doing this to myself! Why!'_

* * *

**Earth - 531, 796,710.95 R.5/TenMu-AU/C**

**Sub-dimension 1179 - 'Washu's Laboratory'**

Shortly after noon, Local Standard time

Deep in the bowels of her laboratory Washu was doing what she had been doing ever since she got her lab back up to 100%; Search for Ranma and try to figure out how the _HELL_ he got to earth. It was a small matter of personal shame that the week or so before Ranma pinged on her radar had not been good to Washu. It was an embarrassing story involving a used evaporator bought in a local pawnshop, an American energy drink she thought was quite fittingly called 'Monster' and a large bottle of Ryoko's stronger sake. In the ensuing haze she'd done a great many things and remembered absolutely none of it. The bad luck didn't stop there. Right as she was finally putting her head together the radar picked up a cabbit's energy signature and off they all went to rescue a creature that as it turns out could have leveled several city blocks even in its weakened state. The diminutive scientist couldn't stop a groan as she recalled what happened next. A hungry black hole on four legs running rampant through her equipment. A rampage that went straight through all her records of the week before! She hadn't even gotten back-ups yet! Arrgg! It was SO frustrating!

So, here she was, trying to piece together the entry vector of a cabbit with advanced stealth tech. Oh yeah, that was fun.

Sighing Washu took a quick breather to clear her head. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't form an answer if she didn't have the data to base it on. Oh Kiyone and Mihoshi had offered her transcripts from their ship's radar but they'd been out on deep patrol for most of that week, returning maybe 24 hours before the whole thing went down. It wasn't enough. Putting aside the 'where' for now Washu was puzzled by the 'why'. Who in their right mind would send an unbonded cabbit to an underdeveloped planet? Why risk the trouble if anyone found out about it? It made no sense what so ever. It was…a mystery. Unbidden the corners of her mouth began to twitch upward. Slowly, slowly, they curved up into a smile that would have haunted Tenchi's nightmares to his dying day.

"Mwa-hahahahaha! I LOVE a good mystery! What's life without a challenge or two! Your days as an unsolvable puzzle are numbered Ranma! Do you hear me, numbered!"

Washu laughed long and loud into the night, thoroughly enjoying the best mood she'd been in since the failed bonding.

* * *

**Earth - 531, 796,710.95 R.5/TenMu-AU/C**

**Tendo Dojo, Nerima, Tokyo, Japan**

Same time as previous

Looking serene, Kasumi quietly shut the front door and put on her house slippers calling out a warm 'I'm home'. From all corners of the house came the traditional 'Welcome back'. Humming cheerfully the home maker stepped into the kitchen noting that despite the lateness of lunch Akane hadn't stepped in to try her hand at cooking. Kasumi loved her sisters dearly but could admit in the depths of her own mind that Akane had the most unseemly difficult time trying to make anything but curry. It made her wish with all her heart that Akane would one day truly understand her cooking talents and know the joys of having made a delicious feast that was lovingly eaten. Placing her basket on the counter Kasumi opened it and giggled a bit at the sight of the little rabbit wrestling with a carrot. Still humming the eldest Tendo daughter scooped him out and set him on a soft towel on top the counter with a handful of veggies to eat.

"Be a good boy mister rabbit and stay there ok?"

Seeing nothing at all wrong with the bunny giving her a blatant nod in response Kasumi swiftly lost herself in preparing a tasty lunch for her family. The only change in her routine was to pause every now and then to pet her latest guest and consider possible names.

* * *

"Lunch everyone!"

The previously quiet house roared to life as everyone rushed to the dining room. The power of Kasumi's cooking was not to be denied. Like she did every day Kasumi set out all the dining ware and food. However, instead of sitting down like she always did the elder daughter strode back into the kitchen. Curious, even Genma stopped stuffing his face to see what was going on. A moment later Kasumi stepped back into the dining room holding of all things a rabbit with the oddest colored fur. A rich glossy black accented in random patterns with copper-colored strands. The sight of the bunny twanged something in the back of Nabiki's memory but it was lost it rush of savory aroma coming off of lunch. Setting the rabbit in the open spot next to her, Kasumi turned to her family with a particularly bright smile.

"Father, it would mean a great deal to me if you would allow me to keep this bunny rabbit as a pet."

Soun blinked in surprise at the request but the Tendo patriarch didn't see a reason to say no. While Akane was his darling baby girl Kasumi had always been such a sweet and proper child. A rabbit ate vegetables, which was cheap, and Kasumi did all the cleaning anyways so he'd never have to bother with it. No, there was no reason at all Kasumi couldn't have a cute little bunny if that's what she wanted. Pleased that he could make one of his daughter's lives a little better Soun sent a fond smile at this oldest. "Of course you can Kasumi dear. Why, I bet that rabbit becomes the best cared for pet in all of Nerima!" Laughing at what they considered whit Soun and Genma quickly dug back into lunch, already thinking of their abandoned Shogi game. Slightly more interested than the fathers Nabiki leaned in.

"So sis, what are you going to call him?"

Kasumi straightened up, showing a bit a of pride and happiness. "His name is Neko!"

Akane's brow furrowed. "Why would you call a rabbit 'cat'?" Suddenly she brightened up, "You should call him B-chan! You know, because he's such a cute little bunny!" For the second time in two days Ranma managed to roll his eyes simultaneously with someone though it was for the same reason this time.

'_I swear, Akane/little sister gives things the lamest of names.'_

Shaking off the moment Nabiki turned back to her older sibling. "So, seriously, Kasumi, why name him Neko?"

The response was entirely too cheerful. "So when Ranma-kun comes back from his training trip he'll finally be able to hold a kitty." There was a brief pause. "Well, close enough I suppose."

While Nabiki was content to drop the subject, mentioning Ranma's name opened up some still fresh wounds on the others. Akane scowled deeply, stabbing her bowl angrily to the accompaniment of Genma's sobbing of Ungrateful Son's and Soun's wailing about the schools never being joined. Directing a pissed off look at her now chipped rice bowl Akane ground out her opinion.

"Why are you even thinking about that no good, lying, cheating, honor less, two-timing bastard!" Across the table Ranma fur spiked as his 'loving' fiancée verbally ripped him to tiny, well-smeared pieces. As her insults and accusations got wilder and more damning the supposed adults chipped in acting as if he where the most worthless piece of shit in the universe because he'd disappeared in broad daylight, without his belongings. Ranma hadn't even been aware that he'd been manifesting a battle aura until Kasumi picked him and tried to soothe him. It was, however, too little too late.

Pompously, Genma finally threw the match on the gas puddle. "Why I bet that worthless, ungrateful brat of mine is cavorting in the Red District with some loose mannered girl spending money that OUGHT to be given to me, his poor selfless father. If this goes on any longer I'll have to have Nodoka reign the boy in with the Seppuku pledge!" Seeing Soun agree entirely with these statement, and even Akane looking pleased, Ranma's restraint snapped. With a loud 'Miyah' Ranma slipped out of Kasumi's grip, Ki infused foot leading. Genma never saw what hit him. With a noisy crash the overweight martial artist flew through the door and landed in a pile of the boards and cinder blocks Akane practiced on. Feeling better, Ranma took a moment to enjoy the much missed feeling of whaling on his old man. Before he was finished though his danger sense went from 'Ha! What danger!' to 'Oh S%^! Move!'. A half second after his dodge a familiar wooden mallet demolished the floor where he'd been standing. Whipping her mallet back up Akane took aim. Even if she didn't recognize him Ranma still somehow ended up pissing her off.

"Stupid rodent! How dare you hurt Mr. Saotome like that!" She never got to take a second swing though.

"Akane Tendo! How dare you try to hurt poor Neko like that! He was only scared because everyone was shouting and yelling so loudly." Stepping in front of her stunned baby sister Kasumi snatched up her pet and started cuddling and comforting him. "Poor Neko. All that noise must of hurt your ears. Why don't we go into the kitchen and make you some sweet bean jam? Would you like that?" In her arms Neko started to purr, although that might have had something to do with belly rub he was getting. As owner and pet slid into the kitchen Kasumi's fading voice could still be heard. "Don't worry Neko-kun, I'll make sure you don't get hurt even if I have to take away Akane's silly little mallet."

Snickering, Nabiki finished her meal before heading back to her room. At the base of the stairs she paused and turned towards her little sister. "You'd better be nice to the bunny for a while Akane. Otherwise Kasumi might decide you're being naughty and you'll have to actually start doing your chores." The gob smacked expression on Akane's face had Nabiki laughing all the way up stairs.

* * *

Later that night…

In an otherwise unoccupied TV room cabbit Ranma idly used his paw to flick through channels, looking for something either entertaining or calming to watch. During his march back to the Tendo Dojo to wait for pig-boy to swing by Ranma had discovered that his new body needed very little sleep. Barely 2 hours if he had done nothing all day, upwards of 5 if he really exerted himself. While useful for more training it did tend to leave him with long periods of time to do nothing but think while his body physically recovered. Given that he hadn't exactly been a philosopher before the change this little fact lead to a lot of thoughts that had never occurred to him before. His fiancées for example. With lots of time and lack of human hormones to cloud his thoughts(4), he'd come to a startling (to him) conclusion.

While they all had their moments of kindness and understanding, deep down they were bitches.

He was FAR from innocent himself but thinking back over 90 something percent of his troubles were caused by girls trying to force him into a relationship he never asked for or his idiot father's gross incompetence. Idly, Ranma made a note to figure out where he'd learned that last word, but it fit the old man so damn well. He was a grasping, fumbling boob and if the greedy, stupid, son of a bitch hadn't kept him from all forms of female contact he wouldn't have NEARLY so many problems. Well, given his luck, he would, but at least then he'd know how to deal with them!

Grumbling, the sleepless martial artist jabbed the remote a little harder then he should have but no harm was done this time. Switching again he discovered that the next channel was off the air for the night…and someone was sneaking around the house. Snorting, Ranma headed off to see what jerk/idiot had broken in this time. Using a few basic principles from the Thieves Cloak (But not the actual technique, just saying) to better conceal himself the transformed young man caught up with the intruder at the base of the stairs. From the looks of things they had dragged something from upstairs and were taking pains to be quiet as possible with their prize. Something about the burglar's basic shape pinged his mental alarms but they seemed no bigger then his current form so why not? Building up a small amount of Ki Ranma launched a cabbit-modified version of the Saotome Shooting Star kick. The unsuspecting intruder noticed him just in time to receive a face full of Ki charged foot.

BAM!

"Miyah miyah Miyah!" ^Cabbit Crushes Can Technique^

Eyes wide, the invader, who was 4 legged, barely scrambled out of the way as Ranma came down from his leap with enough force to have broken multiple bones. They were still caught off guard when in the blink of an eye Ranma shifted his weight to his front legs and mule-kicked with his back.

"Mrooooooow!" THUD

'_Huh. Cat. Should be terrified, but all I want to do is knock that fur ball into next week…I can work with this.'_ ^Face my wrath Feline! As I have suffered, you're going to too!^

A hiss and a fading yelp let him know that the cat had retreated at top speed. Satisfied, Ranma hopped over to the dropped loot and in the poor light of the hallway, eventually managed to ID it as Nabiki's planner. Wondering why the hell a cat of all things would want Nabiki's planner he started dragging it back upstairs. It's not like he had anything else to do and the Hell if he was gonna catch the rap for this.

* * *

Blocks away a slinking feline figure darted through shadows and up against a restaurant. Pushing through a cat flap an exotically colored cat slide into the kitchen, eyes focused on an elderly figure clutching a steaming kettle. Eyebrows quirked the venerable individual emptied the kettle onto the cat which transformed into a beautiful Chinese girl with unique purple hair. Drawing off her pipe the smaller and older of the two waited till her great-granddaughter was dressed before starting.

#Tell me grandchild, why are you limping?#

The girl, Shampoo, grimaced before answering. #Grandmother, I went to steal the Mercenary's date book as you asked but I was caught.# The Matriarch frowned unhappily. With Happy out of the house for beach season and Ranma missing it should have been easy for an Amazon of Shampoo's training to retrieve the book.

#Tell me granddaughter, who found you out?#

Shampoo flushed in embarrassment. #A rabbit, grandmother.# Seeing the blank expression on her grandmother's face she explained further. #I made it into the house undetected, but when I was carrying the book away I felt something watching me. As I moved to spot the watcher I was attacked by a rabbit who was covered in blue flames#

Curious Cologne pressed her hand to Shampoo's injury and extended her senses. A moment later she drew her hand away swearing in her native tongue. #It seems that the Tendo's have grown paranoid in your groom's absence. That wound was inflicted by nothing of this world but as to what it is exactly, I cannot tell.# The Matriarch scowled unhappily, mentally narrowing the list of scrolls she would have to read to identify what ever it was that the Tendo's had bound to their service. A search that would have to take place later she conceded eying her granddaughter's wound.

#Come along Shampoo, we'll fix your ribs up and then look into defeating this otherworldly foe.#

1) After the bruha at Phoenix Mountain, Ranma forced himself to learn to recognize magic to better be able to deal with such opponents next time.

2) Setsuna thinks he's a forest guardian type deal who got lost in the city. Ranma's been sent flying by Akane so many times that he believes her when she threatens him with mountains.

3) The nets name by way is Simoné.

4) Just because he never acted on them doesn't mean he didn't have them.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

I just want to say first off that I apologize for taking so long to update. I've had this in my head forever but it wouldn't squeeze itself onto the keyboard. Anyway, you may have noticed that the introduction is missing, it because I'm trying something with it. It will still be posted on the site, just not on this story. Remember, reviews are a man's best friend(sorry dogs) and I'm still hoping I'll get an omake submission. I'd love to see your take on this story.

Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah! As far as the plot wants to go!

Sincerely,

Tigee86.

When the Cabbit Transformation box was destroyed in Chapter 1, we saw Yukinari's fate. What else could have possibly happened?

_Omake submission by Kytranis_: Attention! This Omake has been given life! Kytranis has started this a full story called Zero's Cabbit. It can be found on my favorites list.

BANG! That was the predictable result of Louise the Zero attempting to summon a familiar, although what looked like a black rabbit with a gem in it's forehead was unexpected. "Well congratulations Madam Valliere, you've summoned an... um... well to be perfectly honest I'm not sure. It appears to be some sort of cat rabbit cross?" Mr. Colbert said walking up to the tiny animal and picking it up by the scruff, it panicked and started to rise bringing the shocked professor with him.

'what the! What's going on? What happened to me?' he thought in panic until a girl with pink hair stood below him and ordered him down. In shock, he dropped, right into her arms and she kissed him on the jewel center of the forehead.

"There, now stay calm little guy, I'm going to take good care of you." Louise promised.

Um, alright my name's Saito. What's yours? she heard echo through her mind. Her eyes widened, this was the beginning of something big. She knew it.

Next day

"I cannot believe you cleared out that entire table! It looks like I'll have to teach you some manners Hiraga Saito!" she scolded her familiar that had not only eaten all the food off a table, but half the silver cutlery as well, and three plates four cups and a chair. Although it was hard to stay mad at a creature made of the softest fur she had ever felt and with two huge soulful eyes and the prettiest gem growing from it's forehead and the cutest... 'No! Discipline the little pest!' she mentally ranted. Although she started to question that line of thought when it blasted Kirche's salamander when it scared the little guy. She reinforced it when using it's telepathy, flying ability and a damn smart tongue managed to challenge Guiche to a duel. Then was ecstatic when the fluff ball not only won but made a complete idiot out of him. This was the beginning of something very very good in her mind.


	4. 4, or A Slight Miscalucation

**Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah!**

**Intro**: Woo-hoo! Over 5,000 views and over 40 reviews! I've become more then a passing fancy, at least in my own mind. In light of that I hope that I'll be able to get not only chapter 4 but 5 done this week as well, fingers crossed. While I've got your attention, a big thank you to Doc Flareon, who offered to edit my writing and ended up doing so the next day. Anyways, read the legal and then on with the story!

**Disclaimer**: While Tigee recovers from his incident with OML, or Overly Manic Laughter, I, the writer, am here to inform you all that I do not own Ranma ½ or Tenchi Muyo in anyway, shape or form. That privilege goes to others whose names will not be mentioned. The idea of Ranma-as-a-cabbit doesn't belong to me either, having been pioneered by the Fanfic writers that came before me. To be honest the plot doesn't belong to me either but to the hundreds of monkeys banging away at type-writers inside my skull, I just charge them rent. And clean, oh god the cleaning…!

"Normal Speech"

'_Inner Thoughts'_

^Telepathy^

#Foreign Languages#

* * *

**Earth - 531, 796,710.95 R.5/TenMu-AU/C**

**Tendo Dojo, Nerima, Tokyo, Japan**

The next day…

Ranma never thought he'd say it, but he could almost understand why Ryoga had never revealed that he was Akane's pet P-chan.

After the late night excitement in the form of a feline thief, Ranma had eventually drifted off to sleep in his new rag-nest bed. Around dawn he had been woken not by his hypocritical old man tossing him in the koi pond or by a bitchy tomboy fiancee with a bucket of ice water but by the gentle hands of Kasumi. The sleepy cabbit hadn't paid any attention to his surrounds thanks to his slightly lazier new form, so when a bucket full of cold water soaked him unexpectedly he leapt straight up. Blinking, Kasumi tilted her head back to see Neko clinging to the ceiling tiles, shivering. It took some doing to get him to let go but she eventually got him down. With the cabbit's fur slicked down Kasumi didn't notice the fact that Neko was smaller and had more faint red highlights in his fur. She did however see that her pet was still shaking. Quickly the young woman shampooed and rinsed him before stepping into the furo. Unnoticed, the cabbit regained its previous size and color.

The two soaked in near silence, Kasumi humming under her breath and Ranma far too stunned to make a sound. It took the entire length of the bath for Ranma to calm down and restart his brain. '_I knew Kasumi was pretty, but damn! Who knew she had such a great body under those frumpy dresses?'_ Shaking his head, Ranma 'miyahed' pitifully while his 'owner' began drying him off.

'_No one can ever know about this…ever.'_

Once the lovely Tendo was dressed again and headed to the kitchen the morning picked right back up. While Kasumi bustled about smiling and cooking, Ranma watched contently from his towel on the counter, a carrot in paw. For the young home-maker cooking was as much an Art as the Anything Goes Style was to her transformed guest. As flawlessly as one of Ranma's katas breakfast came together sending wafts of heavenly scents through the house. From his spot on the counter-top the martial artist-turned-cabbit watched the Tendo family and his own old man congregate to the dining table, performing their morning rituals on the way. With effortless timing Kasumi present the meal just as Akane came down from her post morning run bath. It was unfortunate that what should have been a quiet family meal was ruined by the second most destructive thing at the table: Genma's greed. (1)

"Miyah!"

Startled, Kasumi put down her bowl and chop-sticks, reaching over to soothe the cabbit at her side. "What's wrong Neko-kun, did you get a splinter in your paw?" she said, referring to the plain wooden utensils in front of him, placed there out of habit. Perched on the table, Ranma ignored her concern to glare at his currently human father. While he had decent control of his body, the cabbit form wasn't really meant for the manual dexterity and hand speed of Chop-Stick Fu, a fact that Genma was taking outrageous advantage of. Not that the over-weight man knew or cared; to the elder Saotome he was just stealing from a beast too stupid to do anything about it. Chuckling, Genma made another swipe at the 'unguarded' food. This time his chop-sticks came back too heavy and the master martial artist stopped his hand inches from his mouth wondering what had happened. He and the entire Tendo family blinked in astonishment at the growling cabbit hanging from both sticks with his teeth.

"Shoo! Let go you stupid little…!" Swinging his arm around to try get the cabbit off, Genma wasn't paying much attention but however disinclined he was to actually using his brain, no one could dispute the fact that he WAS a master level martial artist. When Kasumi's new pet twitched he noticed. When its hind legs coiled up around his stomach, Genma saw it even if he didn't put much thought into it. So when 'That furry little bastard!' as Genma would soon come to call him lashed out with a wicked kick the slovenly man was already moving, managing to avoid a blow to the throat. Damn thing still got a piece of him though…

**BAM!**

Before Genma's rice bowl hit the floor Akane was already on her feet mallet in hand, instinctively attempting to punish her 'jerk fiance'. Akane had her mallet lined up for a clean shot at her, but a tiny part of her told the high-school student to look at her older sister…who had NOT been holding that frying pan two seconds ago. The shock of the sight rebooted her thought process and made her realize that she'd just pulled her mallet out on a bunny rabbit. Nabiki hid her smirk behind her rice bowl as her normally volatile baby sister backed down, mortally embarrassed, from her equally normally harmless older sister. Amused, the amateur black mailer(2) watched Genma stew from his new spot on the floor while Kasumi fussed over her 'poor Neko-kun'. Pleasantly comparing Akane's little incident to Ranma being in the same situation with Akane and P-chan kept Nabiki from fanning the flames so to speak. The rest of breakfast passed without further incident letting Akane and Nabiki leave for school on time(3). Genma and Soun went to play Shogi while Kasumi cleaned and Ranma was set down in front of the turned on TV so he'd be out of her way.

Yes, Ranma thought, pig-boy had it good. '_Not that I'd wanna do this forever. Getting to just relax safely for once is cool, but it'd get boring pretty quick.'_ It was at this point the commercial ended and the show started back up, poké-something if he remembered right. '_It can't that great, I mean it's a kiddie show. I bet the guy in the baseball hat is going to visit his grandma or so-Whoa Momma!'_ Eyes bugged out Ranma watched one of the hat-guy's animal friends unleash Hell in the form of enormous lightning bolt, sending the other animal thing crashing into a stone wall hard enough to fracture it.

'_On the other hand, this could be, what's the word? Oh right…educational…'_

Scattered across Nerima, Juuban, ensconced in the Masaki shrine, and Berkeley, California(4), men, women and small animals alike shuddered as the chill of the grave crept up their spines.

* * *

Early that afternoon…

Kasumi stepped into the TV room, thoroughly enjoying the sight before her. Her rabbit, who was so well behaved that he hadn't made a noise or a mess all day, was staring at the final credits for an end of season Pokémon marathon. Stopping at the cushion he'd claimed earlier, the giggling young woman scooped up the unresisting critter. As a reward for such good manners, which were surprisingly much better then Father or Uncle Saotome usually showed, Kasumi decided on the spot to take Neko-kun shopping for fresh carrots and a few little things she needed for dinner. Scratching him lightly behind the ears, Kasumi was delighted to hear him purr rhythmically; she hadn't even know rabbits could purr!

Admittedly, she probably wouldn't have been so jolly had anyone ever informed her that purring was as close to Villainous Laughter as a cabbit could manage.

* * *

Later that afternoon…

"We're home!" Exchanging shoes for house slippers, Nabiki and Akane headed straight for the kitchen to talk to their sister. School had been unusually odd, odder then it'd been since the week after Ranma's disappearance. To the sister's surprise Shampoo had shown up and started asking some very pointed questions about Kasumi's new pet. The Amazon had even paid a small fee for the information, a fact that set alarms off in Nabiki's mind. She had done her best in prying something out of the purple-haired girl but all she'd been able to get was something about Neko being 'damn sure not a rabbit.' With this in mind they'd gotten home ASAP to make sure their sweet but spacey older sister was alright. Happily, she was in the kitchen, unhurt and cooking.

"Hello you two. How was school today?"

Using a grab for a glass as an excuse Nabiki took a close look at her sister. Finding not so much as a scratch, she stepped back and started talking. "Oh not much Sis, you know how it is." Filling the glass with warm water from the tap she pretended to sip before moving on. "You know, I heard the strangest thing from Shampoo today. Apparently there's some kind of Oni or spirit running around in the shape of bunny. Seems rather odd right?" Kasumi gave a soft 'Oh my!' and covered her mouth one hand.

"That's terrible! It's a good thing I took Neko to a temple today. That ought to keep the Oni away." Akane and Nabiki both looked shocked.

"A temple? Why'd you take a bunny to a temple Kasumi!" Giggling Kasumi reached into her apron pocket and held out a small amulet.

"Why, for a 'good health' charm for Neko-kun of course. His veterinarian appointment isn't till tomorrow so I took him to a temple this afternoon while shopping to help him stay healthy."

"Rrrright." Nabiki drawled "Well, I'm going to go take care of a few things. Akane?" Catching the subtle gesture Akane followed her sister out, hold in her questions until she was sure Kasumi couldn't hear them.

"So, he's not an Oni?" Nabiki pursed her lips, leading the search for Neko.

"If she took him to get blessed? Not likely. But that doesn't mean he isn't something else that we're more familiar with." Nabiki had to gesture to the steaming glass of water in her hand twice before Akane got it, making the younger girl's eyes widen.

"Jusenkyo! You think he's some pervert spying on Kasumi!"

"Shut it!" Nabiki hissed, "If it is somebody with a curse I don't want them to know that we know."

"Miyah?"

Both sisters halted, gazing down to where their suspected spy was crouched on the living room table. Nabiki took the opportunity to study the animal closely while Akane moved to protect her. Neko stared right back at them briefly before turning back to the television, which both Tendo's saw was playing a children's cartoon. Thinking him distracted Nabiki moved up behind the cabbit and dumped the whole glass on him declaring in a loud, flat voice, "Oops." Neither woman were sure if they were more or less shocked when the only effect of the water was to soak pet and table. Letting out a rather feline hiss, Neko launched himself at Nabiki. Screeching, she tried futilely to block the incoming kick but it never landed. Half-way there Neko was intercepted by Akane's mallet and got sent flying through a wall. Seeing sunlight pour through the latest 'mallet-hole' Nabiki winced; Kasumi was Not going to be happy about this. Silently she snuck away while her baby sister was distracted by thoughts of possible retribution from Neko. If Akane wasn't smart enough to know when to beat a retreat that was _her_ problem, not Nabiki's. The sound of a door being thrown open made the extortionist speed up. Unless the rabbit started displaying supernatural powers getting caught testing him by Kasumi wasn't a good idea.

"Neko-kun! Don't worry Neko-kun, mommy's coming!"

'_Sorry Akane-chan, but it's every girl for herself._'

* * *

Dinner that night was…tense. After retrieving her injured pet Kasumi had retreated to the bathroom to patch him up, a process that seemed involve a great deal cooing and petting. The two had returned downstairs in time to hear Akane mention something about perverts as well as propose that she cook while Kasumi was busy. Hearing what amounted to a direct threat to her precious kitchen after watching Neko crashing through a few walls, Kasumi promptly demonstrated that she too, was a Tendo. Soun, Genma, and Nabiki all cringed in sympathy as with a resounding _CLANG_ Akane was launched into the yard. The observing trio could have sworn that 1. Kasumi was muttering something about 'her poor baby' while walking back to her kitchen, and that 2. The rabbit in her arms was laughing hysterically. Luckily the youngest Tendo recovered in time to eat with her family even if she seemed to be getting the smallest portions. The point was driven home when Kasumi announce in a chilly voice that no one was allowed desert(5) but her and Neko. Privately, Ranma was enjoying himself, seeing Akane get smacked on the head for a change. He spent the rest of the evening watching everyone tip-toe around Kasumi like she was a land-mine and waiting for everybody to go to sleep so he could start practicing his Cabbit Fu techniques …including a few 'surprises.' Genma and Soun were the last to do so, having spent an hour grumbling about how the 'boy' should have been here to take care of his fiancee and how the schools would never be joined at this rate. Shaking his furry head Ranma hopped out into the yard to start his exercises. Even if he got distracted and stayed up far too late a bunny could be expected to sleep away part of the day right?

Across the street a feminine figure watched her prey finally come out in the open. Grumbling softly in her native tongue, Shampoo shifted to a more comfortable positions on the tile roof. The lavender haired Amazon had been staking out the Tendo dojo since 3 o'clock under strict orders from her great-grandmother. She was not to engage the rabbit-demon until there were no witnesses. While it didn't make sense to her, great-grandmother WAS an Elder and did know most if not all the tribe's lore about such creatures. Happily her vigil was coming to an end and she could now strike. Taking her chosen weapon up, the Amazon readied herself for the lunge.

Down in the yard Ranma paused mid-kata, feeling something flicker against his awareness. '_Feels like someone is 'bout to jump me but kinda muffled…my old man better not be thinking about putting me in a stew or I'll give him Hell._' Hearing a whistling sound Ranma turned in time to catch a rock between the eyes. Yowling in pain Ranma blistered the air with curses while stumbling and shaking his head to clear his sight. Lightning fast Shampoo dropped into the Tendo's background and rushed her victim, the last thing he saw was a bowl shaped thing being thrown over him.

#Yes!# Shampoo hissed, jumping on to her 'weapon' #That'll teach this demon to mess the Village Champion!# Allowing herself a moment to enjoy the victory over the beast Shampoo ran a finger over one of the dozens of Spirit Wards attached to the large wicker basket the young Amazon had used to capture the rabbit-demon. He might have tore her apart in her cursed form but who was laughing now? She was, that's who! Recalling a fact she'd learned earlier today while great-grandmother was prepping her this outing Shampoo banged on the basket and called out in Japanese(6), "You too too stupid rabbit-demon. Just because you beat Shampoo when she cat no mean you win! Shampoo is Amazon! Amazon always win in the end." There was silence for a minute or two, but just as the Amazon was about to slid a board under the basket edge to safely carry the demon off she feel a surge of non-human ki and the basket began to rise into the air. "Aiya…this not good."

Moments earlier under the basket Ranma insulted the rock-thrower's intelligence, ancestry, and personal hygiene. He would have gone on had he not heard Shampoo voice through the walls of his prison, gloating. Brow furrowed he puzzled over her statements. Cat? When had he …oh, Ohhhh! '_So she's pissed 'bout losing again huh? Well I think miss _Too too Great Amazon_ needs 'ta come down a peg or two. Now…how to really rub her nose in it?_' Reviewing some of the more embarrassing techniques he knew from various random 'Martial Arts So-and-so' schools Ranma was distracted by the sound of the basket groaning as Shampoo straightened back up. _'Is she ON the basket?'_ Images from a carnival(7) clamored for attention and the cabbit began to purr as thoughts of revenge for this indignity crystallized, all manageable without using anything but the Anything Goes style. '_He he he, who knew one their stupid little techniques would actually come in handy…_' Concentrating, Ranma visualized his ki moving to his desire and shaped it into the necessary forms. It was a bit clumsy and not nearly as large as what the Freak and Pop managed, but it was enough lift the basket and that was all he needed for the movement.

Now the size of an Irish Wolfhound Ranma shifted the basket wedged on his back to better see his surroundings. That done, and with an evil grin, he launched himself over the property wall. Squeaking in fright Shampoo clung to the basket in a mix of stubborn pride and later, mindless terror. Even burdened by her weight the rabbit-demon was very fast, faster then her favorite bike. Around them buildings turned into blurs and streetlights became streaks of color as Ranma sped up and started using the streets as an obstacle course. Weaving in and out of the local architecture Ranma amused himself by judging how close he'd come to smacking into something by how loud Shampoo's screeches were. Finding himself on a familiar road the enlarged cabbit grinned again, making a small detour. If he lined this up right he could ditch and punish Shampoo all at once.

'_Gotta time this just right. Wait for it…wait for it…wait…NOW!_'

At just the right moment Ranma put a little extra bounce in his stride, resulting in his unwanted rider rising just a smidgeon to high.

_CRACK!_

Miyahing loudly in vindictive delight Ranma raced off into the night.

In the dining room of the Cat Café Cologne waited for great-granddaughter's return with a kettle of tea on the table next to her. The Matriarch was in the middle of adding a splash of milk to her latest cup when a high pitched sound began intruding on the edge of her hearing. Holding still the venerable Amazon tried to place the familiar sound, even as it grew in volume. '_That almost sounds like…_'

"…yyyaaAAAA!" _CRACK!_

'…_someone screaming as they got tossed through the air.'_ With a heavy sigh Cologne pogo'ed to the door and opened it. Sprawled unconscious under the Café's now-shattered daily special sign was her great-granddaughter/heir. Noting the impressive goose egg already forming on the girl's forehead Cologne carefully gathered her up and went back inside locking up behind them.

#It seems the rabbit-demon is more wily then I guessed. It seems vanquishing him will teach you a valuable lesson about respecting the cunning of others Shampoo.#

* * *

As was her habit Kasumi was the first one awake the next morning. Moving gracefully through her morning toilette, the young woman received her first hiccup of the day while stepping into the TV room where she'd put down bedding for Neko. What had been a neat and comfy pile of rags was now a sizeable wicker basket lined with cloth, a section in front cut low to allow easy access for its occupant. Confused but not concerned with something that seemed so harmless, Kasumi scooped up her lazy bunny and continued her routine without further interruption. Neko didn't stir until breakfast was served, but much to her satisfaction Uncle Saotome behaved at the table allowing the house pet to stay calm. Calm was good. After seeing how strong Neko was when frightened, Kasumi wanted the little guy to be calm as possible when the vet started bringing out the needles later today. In fact…

Something was going to happen, he just knew it. Wasn't sure what though. That embarrassment last night would keep Shampoo and Cologne away while they rethought their strategy. Mousse on the other might try something if his 'beloved Shampoo' complained where he could overhear her. The Kunos didn't even know about him yet, thank God. Ditto with Ukyo. Smacking his lips Ranma eyed the early morning crowd as Kasumi carried him somewhere. He'd been tasting something weird since breakfast, which was beginning to annoy him. Just a little though, as he also felt a great deal of peacefulness.

'_If I didn't know better, I'd swear that I'd been slipped something again. Nah, couldn't be. The only thing I've had was Kasumi's cooking._'

"Excuse me, I'm Kasumi Tendo, here with Neko for our 9 o'clock appointment?"

Not listening to the response Ranma sweep his eyes over the room, feelings of unease creeping up on him.

'_Wait a minute…uncomfortable chairs, old magazines, a secretary with a day planner, other assorted animals…Oh Shit! The Vet!_'

Squirming wildly Ranma the cabbit made a desperate bid for freedom. Months ago Ranma had casually asked a few of the guys at school what kind of things one could have done at a vet's office. Ryoga had managed to be particularly annoying that week and vague thoughts of revenge were dancing in his head. A list of procedures had been made, one of which had immediately jumped to mind when he realized his situation.

"Miyah! Miyah-yah!" '_I swear by all that's Holy if you get me fixed there will be HELL to pay! HELL!_'

It took Kasumi and an intern to get him in the examination room and only his reluctance to use cabbit powers kept him from just bolting through the door. The vet, a man in his late 50's named Uramaki, was a jovial, easy-going soul. Ignoring the odd look in the eye of the young lady's pet the checkup started simply enough with plenty of soothing words. However, Uramaki quickly realized that this was not a rabbit, whatever Ms. Tendo insisted. Unable to ID the species he gave the, um, thing only the most basic shots, nothing that would cause a complication based on species. The man was about just give up and make a few calls to more exotically oriented colleagues when the owner of the creature was called to the front room to correct some paperwork. The moment the door shut the strange creature _moved_ and Uramaki found himself face down on the exam table with an irate and unknown animal…who was now holding the fountain pen from his coat pocket. Simple fascination kept him watching as it somehow managed to write out a message on the dropped papers that were supposed to be Neko's new file.

'Tell anyone about me or mention the word 'neuter' and I'll do it to you instead.'

Satisfied that the message was delivered, Ranma threw the pen and half buried it in a nearby wall, which Uramaki distressingly noted was made from stone. Carefully turning to face his capturer again the now panicked man gave a shaky grin. "I understand perfectly. My lips are sealed…I won't tell a soul." Released, Uramaki barely made it upright before the door opened again.

"Hello Neko-kun, have you been a good boy for the nice doctor?" Hearing the little hell beast purr made the man's blood boil a bit but as he could still see the imbedded pen from where he was, he stayed quiet. Moving quickly Dr. Uramaki reassured his client that her rabbit was the healthiest bunny he'd ever seen and need never come back in again. Ever. After they were gone and getting his scheduled cleared for the next few hours Uramaki went his personal office and poured himself a drink from his 'It's eff-ing Nerima' stash.

"Should have known better…damn Tendo's never do anything normal…"

* * *

After the incident at the vet's Ranma decided to spend a little time away from Kasumi just to be safe. Around 11 he slipped out of the house and began to hop away, only to run into a new problem. He didn't know where to go. His life had always been so busy and messed up that he didn't get out much unless someone dragged him along. Thinking about it, it was a little depressing that he only went to school, home, or restaurants owned/operated by his crazy ass fiancées. Maybe the ice cream shop every now and then. '_Ugh…no wonder my life never seems to change; I'm going in more circles then Ryoga!_' Deciding to take a little time to just go somewhere Ranma spun a few times before picking a random direction and going that way. Hell, it hadn't even been 3 weeks yet, no way Ryoga would come around yet. He had time to spare.

Some time later, perched on the stone privacy wall surrounding Furinkan High School Ranma sourly decided that he owed someone somewhere a good punch in the face. His random direction appeared to have lead straight to the hell that is Furinkan High school, making it not very random at all. In fact, the only reason he wasn't losing his temper already was because cabbits weren't quite as aggressive as humans and he still had some happy juice running through from this morning. Speaking of that he'd have to check up on the guy a couple times to make sure he wasn't trying anything, maybe let himself be seen a couple times to remind him of the threat…

**Boom**-rumble-rumble!

Looking up at skies that hadn't been cloudy when he'd left the Tendo's earlier, Ranma made two decisions.

1.) He was going into the school to avoid the storms because even if he didn't turn into a girl right now it still felt funny to be splashed with cold water. It was about noon, maybe he could even score some food.

2.) If he ever meet Fate he was going to punch that bitch in the mouth…twice.

* * *

Up in the Heavens Above, where the gods guided the universe, an exotic and sensual goddess by the name of Urd choked on her lunch-time helping of sake. Ignoring the odd looks directed her way by the rest of the deities on their lunch breaks she double-checked who just said what about her and her two younger sisters. The Norn of the past groaned and banged her head on the table top as the info came back the same. Ranma Saotome, the only mortal in the last two thousand years to slay even a minor god, was fucking pissed off at the three of them.

"Great, just great." Urd sighed unhappily, "I'd better tell Belldandy to keep an eye on Skuld…Ranma would tear her to pieces. So much for that group vacation to Earth in the next hundred years or so." (8)

* * *

Ranma hopped along the noisy hallways, dodging the teeming students feet as the scurry about visiting friends or buying food from the shop-lady. Cursing as someone nearly stepped on him for the umpteenth time the pseudo-cabbit made for the nearest door-way, deciding to recoup for a minute or two. Unfortunately, the student traffic and once again, his small size, conspired to herd him into a room that he would have never willing went into on his own. Senior class F, where Kuno was repeating the year, where Akane was finishing high school, and even where Nabiki was serving as a TA, being the only one in Furinkan capable of controlling the Kuno heir and her own sister. Of course Ranma didn't know this until Nabiki picked him up of the floor by the scruff of his neck, maneuvering the cabbit so they were face to face. The rest of the class slowly fell silent to watch the 'Queen of Furinkan' have a staring match with a black rabbit.

"Nabiki, is that Neko?" When the older girl nodded Akane's face scrunched up in thought. "What's he doing here? There's no way that Kasumi would let him out of her sight." Shrugging Nabiki transferred Neko to the crook of her arm and headed back to her own seat.

"No clue, but it'd be best to keep him here. Kasumi's heart would break if the little guy got lost like P-chan or decided to run away. Rice ball?" Appealing to the rabbit's stomach with aforementioned treat, the middle Tendo daughter hoped that he wouldn't cause trouble, or that her own reputation would keep it to a minimum if something did happen. No such luck.

"Tell me Nabiki Tendo, what is that odd beast you cradle in your grasp?" Nabiki rolled eyes deciding to blow off the crazed kendo-user.

"It's my big sister's pet rabbit, Neko. I'm not sure what he's doing here but it's just a rabbit; what do you care?"

Frowning, Tatewaki leaned forward to examine the creature lounging in the grip of the despicable Nabiki Tendo(ignoring said creature's growls). The wise and brilliant(in his own mind) Blue Thunder of Furinkan High(his mind again) quickly came to a conclusion that shockingly, was correct(9).

"Nabiki, if this is a rabbit then I am an octopus. Perhaps if I were to offer 1,000 yen you would be more willing to tell me the truth?"

Nabiki's expression tightened at the comments. She may have regularly twisted the truth in ways that would of have had a politician green with envy but she never told a straight up lie. "I'm afraid, Kuno-baby," Nabiki started in an absolutely frigid voice, "That you are wrong and that I'm not interested in your offer." With that she whirled in her seat and went back to feeding Neko who was mentally laughing at the sight of Kuno's dumbfounded expression.

"Nabiki Tendo not interested in a financial deal, what sorcery is this!" Cheek twitching Nabiki twisted back to face the confused young man.

"_Sit down and shut up Kuno_!" Squeaking, the normally fearless martial artist fled back to his seat.

Nobody talked for the rest of lunch.

* * *

The walk home for Akane was as silent as the latter half of lunch. The rest of the day actually. Even the teacher hadn't really the nerve to speak, just handing out some studying assignments and retreating to his desk. As the two sisters arrived at home Akane noted that Nabiki was no longer seething about Kuno's accusation. Not that she wasn't mad, oh hell no, she was _furious_. But for the older sister anger was something to be channeled into a vicious and humiliating revenge that lingered for weeks. It would probably be a few days before Nabiki finally got back at Kuno but by the time she was done Tatewaki would have no doubt begged for a beating from Akane instead. Clinging to Nabiki's shoulder, where he'd been since school let out Ranma once again mentally patted himself on the back for having never done anything to make Nabiki this mad. He was having a bit of fun imagining what Kuno's punishment was to be when the girls passed the kitchen and Kasumi stepped out. "Nabiki, Akane, have either of you seen Neko? He disappeared after our visit to the vet and I haven't seen him since."

Letting her anger go for now, Nabiki pointed to her left shoulder. "He showed up in class during lunch Sis; guess he's not big on veterinarians." Looking relieved Kasumi gave a soft smile.

"I suppose not. I'm glad he's safe though." The home-maker's face turned thoughtful. "Do you think he'll forgive me if I make him something nice for dinner?" Nabiki waved her older sister's concern off.

"Don't worry about it. Most animals just don't like vets. He'll be back to cuddling with you in no time at all. Do you mind if I take him upstairs though? I have some vengeance to plot and I've always wanted to try one of the classic 'evil villain' poses." Giggling, Kasumi waved her on, not paying attention to Akane's paling expression.

"Of course Nabiki. Just don't plan anything too dastardly, ok?" Mumbling something that _might_ have been a promise of restraint Nabiki headed upstairs with her living prop. After taking a moment to secure her sound-proofed-against-idiots door Nabiki plopped into her desk chair and made herself comfortable for a long planning session. Ranma didn't try to escape her at all, having been on the other side of her plans often enough to want to know how they were thought up. There didn't seem to be any secret though. Nabiki just stared into space while absently petting him. Quickly growing bored of the lack of activity Ranma soon leapt onto Nabiki's desk and began poking through whatever he found. It wasn't much of a strategy but the cabbit was hoping to find some sort of embarrassing secret of Nabiki's to use as leverage when he turned back into a guy. He probably wouldn't be able to use it more then once but it could at least save him from some of her more humiliating ventures.

When her papers began rustling Nabiki snapped out her light trance and focused in on the sound. Seeing that it was nothing but Neko Nabiki allowed herself a small smile. When the curious rabbit started sniffing at one of her photo folder it dawned on her that she hadn't sorted the contents of that particular folder yet. Shooing him off of it Nabiki opened it up and started sorting it into 4 basic piles: Sellable, Blackmail, Personal/Family, and Useless/Storage. She'd break it down further later but this was good enough for now. Besides, if one of the pictures inspired her revenge against Kuno she didn't want a complex task to distract to her. Nabiki was nearing the bottom of the pile when one of the photos jumped out at her. Holding the snap-shot up for a better look the event she'd captured on film filtered back into her mind. Slowly Nabiki turned and held the picture next to Neko for comparison. Helpfully the 'rabbit' turned to inspect her daily planner, offering a profile view. Comparing the two, there was no doubt in her mind.

"Holy crap…you're the thing that was blasting Ryoga down the street!"

Neko froze in place for a moment, informing Nabiki that he was capable of at least basic communication, before swiveling his head to look at her. Nabiki couldn't help a wince upon noticing that there was a crystal in Neko's forehead and it was glowing red. '_How did I miss that? It's so obvious but I didn't see a thing. _(10)' Recalling that Shampoo had mentioned the word demon once in their conversation about Neko Nabiki held both of her hands in a 'Wait' gesture. "Now now, lets not get hasty here. I'm sure the two of us can come to some sort of arrangement, right?" When the crystal got brighter Nabiki flinched and gestured again. "Come on! I can be useful, I swear, there's no need to do anything rash!"

"Miyah…"

* * *

1.) The first most destructive was Ranma in the form of property damage/peace and quiet, Nabiki was third, claiming social ruin, Akane pulled a distant fourth with her temper and mallet.

2.) No one ever said she wasn't a really good blackmailer, just that she didn't do it professionally.

3.) Yes, 2 years have passed since the begin of the Ranma ½ series, making Nabiki 19. She isn't actually attending school though, she's going as a TA to get credit for college courses while scaring up enough money/scholarships to attend business school.

4.) Ryoga. Who else would it be?

5.) Carrot-cake. Suggested by Cat on a Shtick. Review and see your suggestions come to life…do it!

6.) I didn't want to really go into but for the purpose of this story, demons rarely speak a language that didn't come from their local area. Therefore a demon from Japan would speak Japanese in a local accent but likely wouldn't know more a then a word or two of Chinese, English, or any other language.

7.) This is a reference to the anime. In one of the episodes everyone went to a carnival and while there, Genma, Soun, and Happosai used ki to become giant-sized to fight escaped cursed paintings. Since all three use it I'm making it a standard Anything Goes move which means Ranma knows how to use it. He doesn't do it often because it's just not really all that useful normally. The fights between Ranma, Herb, and Saffron where in enclosed areas, so no go there.

8.) Stand down! This is not a O!MG crossover. In this world Keiichi Morisato was never born. Belldandy did not arranged to spend her life on earth. She and her sisters still sit in Heaven, keeping the world spinning. This a cameo mention because I like the series, I can't honestly work them into this story without spoiling my plot, and they are referred to as the Norns which are the Norse version of the Fate's. Sorry if I got your hopes up.

9.) Interested readers will probably be relieved to know that there was a blue moon that night. Just saying.

10.) It's Nerima, they couldn't see the obvious if it took a clue-by-four and cracked it over their head. And yes, I said clue-by-four. One of my baby-sitters way back when used to say this and I thought I'd use it as a minor tribute as he was the one to show me my first Monty Python movie.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

And… cliff-hanger! Bwa-hahaha, now you'll have to read chapter 5 if you ever wish to see what happens between Nabiki and Ranma! Moment of evil aside, thank you again for reading RSDM. Even if I'll never meet any of my readers in person(no way I'll let my friends read this, I'll never hear the end of the teasing) knowing that someone somewhere has nothing better to then read what I release warms the cockles of my heart. Seriously though, I look forward to the reviews of you, the reader. I hope that by the time that chapter 5 does come out I'll have at least 50 reviews. Incidentally, Doc Flareon has volunteered himself to beta for me which should help make putting out chapters go smoother. Thank you for your patience with me.

To Chapter 5 and Beyond!

Manically yours,

Tigee86.

* * *

An interesting Idea offered by Mr. Smith...

Cape streaming behind him, Lord Vader, right hand of the Emperor himself, marched onto the command deck of his Super-Star Destroyer flagship.

Respirator whooshing, the Sith turned to the commanding officer of the vessel. "Captain, a Corellian freighter left Bespin's atmosphere a short time ago. Plot it's course, and pursue it."

The man swallowed nervously. "I'm afraid that's not possible, Lord Vader. Something has…happened to the reactors, and we are currently running on back-up power." Vader turned slowly to face the sweating man, who nearly peed himself in fear.

"What, exactly, has happened to my ship?"

"It-it would be best to simply show you, my lord." Hands shaking, the captain brought up the footage and began slipping away, accompanied by a number of the bridge crewmen.

Soundlessly, Vader watched to security footage play out. For a little bit, nothing happened, but then something hopped into view. Small, black, and harmless looking, it moved right up to the main reactor. After staring for a moment or two, the long-eared beast reared back and…

Had Vader not possessed incredible self-control, he might have fallen over, watching a tiny animal devour a shuttle sized reactor core without gain a centimeter of size. Astonished, the Sith let the footage play to end, as the animal hopped away from the reactor room as if nothing had occurred. Shaking his head, Vader turned and began marching to his personal chambers. The Emperor would need to know of this, anomaly.


	5. 5, or Birth of the Deals

**Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah!**

**Intro**: Oh wow. Over 700 hit's the first day chapter 4 came out! Over 700! If that isn't inspiration to typing my fingers to the bone I don't know what is. As a reward I'll try not to create cliff-hangers in the future. You gotta admit though, that was prefect timing for one right? But, as you've already tuned in, this episode, on Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah…

**Disclaimer**: Normally Tigee would be here to announce to the world in a grandiose manner that I don't own Ranma ½ or Tenchi Muyo but fan demand has ensured that he didn't heal up in time to handle this. Expect him next time though. And just to be sure, I don't own nothing but the plot!

"Normal Speech"

'_Inner Thoughts'_

^Telepathy^

#Foreign Languages#

* * *

"_Holy crap…you're the thing that was blasting Ryoga down the street!"_

_Neko froze in place for a moment, informing Nabiki that he was capable of at least basic communication, before swiveling his head to look at her. Nabiki couldn't help a wince upon noticing that there was a crystal in Neko's forehead and it was glowing red. 'How did I miss that? It's so obvious but I didn't see a thing.' Recalling that Shampoo had mention the word demon once in their conversation about Neko Nabiki held both of her hands in a 'Wait' gesture. "Now now, lets not get hasty here…I'm sure the two of us can come to some sort of arrangement, right?" When the crystal got brighter Nabiki flinched and gestured again. "Come on! I can be useful, I swear, there's no need to do anything rash!"_

"_Miyah…"_

* * *

**Earth - 531, 796,710.95 R.5/TenMu-AU/C**

**Tendo Dojo, Nerima, Tokyo, Japan**

Mid-afternoon, Nabiki's room

"Miyah…" '_An arrangement?_' Ranma eyed the very nervous young woman in front of him with fierce concentration. As leery as he'd learned to be of Nabiki's deals, the fact of the matter was that once a deal was made, she did keep it. Granted, it was to the _letter_ of the deal rather the spirit but she did keep it. Ranma drifted out for a moment thinking of past deals he'd made with Nabiki before snapping out of it and paying attention to her again. '_Weird. She's pale and a bit shaky looking._' Glancing at her throat the cursed cabbit noted that her heartbeat was elevated. '_If didn't know better, I'd say Nabiki was really scared. Wonder why though? I mean, she knows me, I'd never hurt her no matter how annoying she can be. I mean I'm…I'm…_' Ranma's thoughts slowed to a crawl as the simple fact that Nabiki _didn't_ know him forced its way in to his brain. Nabiki knew Ranma Saotome, heir to the Anything Goes Style of martial arts. She knew Ranma the honor-bound, Jusenkyo cursed, fiancee hounded Man. But, at this moment, he _wasn't_ Ranma; he was Neko, Kasumi's little pet rabbit. The same little rabbit that had had Ryoga Hibiki of all people running scared. Nobody but those people at the Masaki Shrine really knew anything about him. Ryoga alone knew his true identity, and even if he revealed it he'd have to tell everyone _how_ he knew. Ranma marveled at the oh so simple concept as his subconscious finally punted it up for review. He was FREE! Free to do what he wanted, where he wanted, when he wanted. Because human Ranma's problems weren't cabbit Ranma's problems.

For the first time in his recallable life time he was totally free…all because nobody knew that Ranma Saotome now cried "Miyah!"

Nabiki had been a little scared to know that she was in a locked room with a creature capable of sending one of Nerima's better fighters running. Maybe more then a little; try VERY scared. After all, Nabiki lived by the maxim that knowledge is power and she had _no_ power and zero leverage over this…this thing. Although she'd deny it to her dying day, deep down, Nabiki wasn't really that surprised that she fainted when Neko lit up with a recognizable battle aura and started purring menacingly(1).

* * *

Just a few minutes earlier the downstairs portion of the house was a scene of normality for the Tendo dojo. Kasumi was cooking, Akane was out in the dojo breaking cinder blocks for exercise, and Genma and Soun were playing shoji on the porch. Genma, in human form for the game, for once, was in the middle of taking his turn when both of the elder martial artists felt the incredible battle aura flaring to life upstairs. It was powerful and unfamiliar enough that both men abandoned the board and ran for the stairs. Tracking the aura to Nabiki's room the two stopped in front of the doorway to exchange solemn nods. Normally they would have left such a strong presence for the boy to deal with, rather then risk their own lives but Ranma wasn't here. For the first time in a few years they'd have to fight, really fight, someone other then The Master; they weren't looking forward to it.

With a shouted battle cry, Soun gave the door a solid kick. It creaked and cracked but the door held, locked. The aura they felt, on the other hand, faltered for a moment before disappearing completely. Exchanging now nervous looks, Soun and Genma kicked the door together. Leaping through the shattered door frame the duo assumed defensive stances and let out loud battle cries to give themselves courage.

However, instead of some hulking, monstrous brute or a sleekly muscled super-skilled martial artist, the two Anything Goes masters were faced with a fainted Nabiki and Kasumi's harmless little pet rabbit(2).

Slowly relaxing out of their stances, Soun gave an embarrassed little laugh. "Look us Genma. A pair of grown men, martial arts master even! Why, it seems we got worked up over nothing at all!"

Genma chuckled a bit himself. "It seems we've spent too many years under The Master, Soun my old friend. We've started jumping out shadows even! Why, the only thing up here is little Nabiki and Kasumi's edib-delecti-um, friendly little pet." Chuckling some more Genma moved over to the desk, arms crossed. "Well, bunny boy, you see anything out of the ordinary up here?" When Neko didn't make a sound Genma nodded to himself. "Of course not! What am I talking about; he's just a stupid beast!"

**BAM! KU-Thud!**

Ever so slowly, Soun's head swiveled from a rather smug looking Neko to Genma…who was unconscious in the hallway, where the _rabbit_ had kicked him. Looking back at Neko, Soun swallowed. "N-nope, nothing in here. Nothing at all." Creeping backwards out of the room, Soun leaned down to grab Genma before making a mad dash for the stairs. Perhaps it was time to ask a favor of the Amazons? For the safety of his, um, daughters! Yes, his daughters needed protection. Best to have old Cologne check out the little beast, just to be sure.

Back upstairs Ranma stared at Nabiki, who hadn't woken up yet. '_Need 'ta talk to her before Panda-man and Weepy get back. What does she have in here that'll wake someone up?_'

* * *

Nabiki was soundly asleep when the first flash of light assaulted her closed eyes. Moaning, Nabiki turned over to escape the cruel dawn. A few weeks of rare peace at la casa del Tendo had reminded her of her love of uninterrupted sleep. She was about to slip back into a full slumber when the light flashed again, brighter this time. Grunting, Nabiki reached to pull her blankets over her head to block out the sunlight. Her hands didn't hit covers though, instead tugging at her school uniform. '_Wait…I never go to bed in my uniform. What happened?_' The last thing she remembered was sorting photos at her desk, finding one picture in particular, then…

Nabiki shoot upright, eyes wide and searching for the rabbit-beast her sister had named Neko. Eventually she spotted him on the floor next to where her head had been, crouched next to one of her older cameras, one paw on the flash button. Recalling that he could understand her, at least a little bit, Nabiki decided that if he hadn't attacked her it was time to get some answers. "What are you, and what are you doing here?" Hoping for some sort of verbal response, Nabiki was disappointed when Neko just waved a paw at her camera and then her desk. Moving slow to avoid any sort of…misunderstanding…Nabiki picked up her camera and sat at her desk. Moments later Neko joined her, clearing the distance to her desk-top in a single leap. That done, he pointed at her computer. Feeling curious, Nabiki booted it up, wondering what he wanted with the old thing. At nearly 10 years old, it was pretty useless for anything but typing and saving files on, lacking even internet access. That was apparently what he wanted it for though. Nabiki could feel her eyebrow reach for her hairline when Neko clumsily moved the mouse over to notepad program and double clicked it. Feeling somewhat surreal watching the rabbit looking being hunt and peck on her keyboard, the middle Tendo daughter just couldn't keep her mouth shut. "Don't most demons or spirits or what ever you are have the ability to talk? I mean, you can't really mess with humans if you can't talk to them right?"

Paw frozen over a keystroke, Neko seemed to be considering her comment. After a few moments, it shrugged and turned to look her straight in the eyes. Blinking, Nabiki stared right back, wondering what it was trying to do. '_I wonder if he's trying to pull one of those mind-meld things. A_ 'Now I speak your language'_ moments, like you see in anime._' Nabiki's internal monologue was cut off as she began to feel a mild pressure behind her eyes_._ It felt a little familiar, the same kind of pressure that she had felt when that little brat who claimed he could read minds was running around. Smirking mentally, Nabiki decided to deal with Neko the same way she had with the brat; imagine a tsunami of gold coins burying him. Instead of a terrified rabbit though, she got something rather unexpected.

^Damn, you think about money a lot. Is that supposed to be me getting swept away?^

Nabiki felt her jaw drop as a male tenor voice with a slightly growling timber made itself know in her head. "Did you just use telepathy on me!"

Neko shrugged. ^Not really. I can't read your mind or nothin'. It's just that you were REALLY focused on that one image.^

"How are you doing this?"

^I'm a cabbit. You didn't think I was just gonna open my mouth and talk to ya did ya?^

"Rabbit." Nabiki corrected absently, while concluding that he did have a point about the whole talking thing.

^Not a rabbit, cabbit. I think I know my own species.^ Ranma added a little sniff at the end of that, trying to conceal that he hadn't known what a cabbit was until Washu told him.

Nabiki blinked. "What's a 'cabbit'?"

^Think a cross between a cat and a rabbit. We partner up with people to achieve goals or something like that. A kind of Familiar. At least that's what the lady said.^

"The Lady?" Nabiki questioned, her sharp mind already running over with he'd said so far. "Is she your mother?"

Neko shook his head. ^Nah. She's more like a Creator. She didn't give birth to me or nothing but she's the reason cabbits exist.^ No way in Hell Ranma was going to explain to her who he really was, and what had happened to him.

"I see. You said cabbits are familiars right? Does that mean Kasumi is a witch or magical girl of some kind?"

^Kasumi? Heheh 'snicker', Kasumi? No way, not for me at least. I'm a war cabbit. The only way I'd let her bond with me is if she defeated me in mental combat. Plus, I was told that ya have to have a mind gift to start the bond, or use this weird little ceremony.^

Nabiki hummed interestedly. Neko hadn't denied being a demon or spirit. In fact, he'd sidestepped the whole question, which was as good as a confession in her mind. The question was, how to use this to her advantage? He had flat out admitted to being able to fight but Nabiki knew herself well enough to know that she'd never be able to bring herself to doing the whole 'animal pit fighting' thing unless her family was in truly dire straights. She briefly considered trying to sell him to a government lab but discarded it. She really didn't want to find out how vindictive cabbits where. Well, not first hand anyways. Propping her chin in her palm in a contemplative pose, Nabiki continued to look Neko in the eyes, the black furred cabbit having fallen silent.

"Why are you here anyways?" The question seemed to catch him off guard. After a moment or two of twitching, Neko shrugged again.

^I like it here I guess. It's as good a home as any.^ Nabiki lips pursed, deciding to go for it.

"You'll have to pay rent. It won't be much seeing as all you need is a sleeping basket and vegetables to eat, but you will need to pay." Nabiki's mouth twitched up into a smile as few of her more feasible ideas for Neko started to come together. "And I have just a few little things that you could do that would…"

_ZAP!_

Nabiki held _very_ still as the after effects of the red beam bleed out of the air. She couldn't see the damage from here but given the beating Ryoga 'The Walking Tank' had taken last time, she was positive that it wouldn't be minor.

^I ain't doing anything embarrassing or painful, got it? Push me and I'll push back. I won't kill ya but there's more then one way 'ta skin a cat.^ Noting the sort of manic glee with which Neko 'said' that last bit, Nabiki decided to go ahead and make a mental memo to not forget that Angry Cabbit = Very Bad Day.

"Of course not. How about pictures? Pictures are…" _ZAP!_ Nabiki twitched. '_Ok. Pictures bad. Try something else girl._' "What do you think of children's parties? I mean there's great money in…" _ZAP!_ This time, Nabiki took several seconds to settle frazzled nerves. "Perhaps you would like to make a suggestion instead?"

^Is Happosai around?^ When Nabiki nodded, Ranma smiled. ^I'll be anti-Happosai insurance. I'm pretty sure the old freak can take me but if he's busy trying to fight me, then he's not stealing underwear right?^ Nabiki nodded again. The girls at school would pay decent money for anything to keep Happosai away. Although…

"How do you know about Happosai? Have you been in Nerima long?"

^Trust me, that letch has a wide spread reputation. People know about him. People in Juuban know about him.^ Granted, the people in Juuban thought he was some kind of hideous Sex demon instead of a perverted martial artist, but they knew the name.

Satisfied, Nabiki held out her hand. "I guess that's a deal then. You take care of Happosai at school and I consider your rent covered." Ranma quickly shook on it, pleased. Fighting the Freak as a cabbit wouldn't be easy, but it was still better then being treated like a toy until he could be turned back into a human.

'_Just you wait Ryoga. You and I both know you can't stay away forever, and when you do…_'

Nabiki felt a small chill, watching Neko purr. '_What's he thinking about? Our deal can't be that good can it? Just what are you up to, 'Neko'._' (3)

* * *

At the Neko Hanten (Cat Café)…

Inside the popular Chinese restaurant the dinner rush just starting. Only a 1/3 of the tables had customers but business was picking up fast. Shampoo was dropping off an order near the front door when it was thrown open by huffing and puffing Soun Tendo, bowed under the weight of his long-time partner-in-training/crime, Genma Saotome. Blinking, the young Amazon watched as he staggered inside, panting out something.

"Demon…at dojo…need help…Ranma…still gone."

Eyes wide, she rushed to the kitchen where her great-grandmother was cooking. "Great-grandmother! Panda man and Tendo man here, they talking about demon at dojo." The sound of someone swearing in Mandarin drifted out from the back. Soon afterwards Cologne appeared through the swinging doors that lead to the kitchen and addressed the Café's customers.

"I'm afraid we're going to have to close shop for now. Please finish your meals quickly. If you haven't received your order already then I'm going to ask you to go immediately." There was some grumbling but this wasn't the first time the Café closed early and it probably wouldn't be the last either. Turning to look at the Tendo patriarch, Cologne addressed her next comment to Shampoo. #Wake up the fat one and keep them both here. I don't want them wandering around while our collection of demon hunting weapons is out of the vault.# Getting a nod of acknowledgment from her heir, Cologne headed up to the living areas of the Cat Café to gather a selection of weapons. If the demon was openly displaying his power now it was time to break out the more potent tools. Though not as skilled as Mousse, Cologne too, knew the Hidden Weapons technique. Using the skill she concealed the selected weapons up her sleeve and went downstairs in time to see the last of her customers leave. Expression stern, the matriarch turned to the two men she regarded as the biggest idiots in Nerima(4). "Tell me what happened, don't leave anything out."

Filtering out the babbling and the obvious lies Cologne determined that the rabbit-demon created an intense, near-Happosai sized battle aura(Which was bad news), but did absolutely nothing else. How strange. Better bring Mousse as fodder then, to figure out what the demon was up to. A shouted order to the back later, the assembled group was ready to go. As the men and Amazons left for the dojo Cologne absently noted that at least everything would be dealt with quickly, if not quietly. It would be a pain to have to deal with the crazies in town over this.

Unbeknownst to her, the moment the elder Amazon thought this the Spirit of Perversity(5) that was local to Nerima decide that this was far too simple. Moments after they left Sasuke leapt off of the Cat Café roof headed straight for Kuno manor, audio surveillance gear in hand. Soon after, a thoughtful looking Happosai faded into sight next to where Sasuke had been spying. With a sharp nod the lecherous grandmaster began trailing after his two bumbling students and their current allies. Satisfied, the Spirit of Perversity sped to the Tendo dojo. There was no point in setting these things up if one wasn't going to watch.

* * *

Humming happily, Kasumi moved about the kitchen, putting the last touches on dinner. The last few days had been very good for her. Everything had been so unsettled when Ranma disappeared. People were screaming at each other, accusing each other of the most awful things. Things had gotten to the point where Kasumi had started avoiding people, even. The worse of it had pasted after a week but the sour feelings lingered between people. As sensitive a young woman as Kasumi was, all the negativity in the air had an effect on her own disposition. The resulting mild depression had clung to her until finding Neko in her shopping basket. Having something to lavish attention on and distract her from everyone else's foul humor had been a real boost. Now that she had him she wasn't going to left anyone take her bunny away…even if she had to stop being so nice to certain people. A brief frown flickered across her face as Kasumi thought about the trouble Akane had caused at the table. She'd have to have a talk with her youngest sister about that…

Kasumi was pulled out of her thoughts by the sound of footsteps coming from the entryway. Putting dinner on a low simmer, Kasumi wiped her hands off and stepped out in time to spot her father, Mr. Saotome, and all three of the Amazons going upstairs. Showing another brief frown Kasumi moved to follow them. Something about this seemed ominous…

Upstairs Nabiki and Neko were discussing possible battle plans for school tomorrow when the cabbit suddenly stiffened. Curious, Nabiki watched as the small, but certainly dangerous, animal cast his head about. "Something up?" The cabbit nodded in response to her question.

^Yeah, something big. I can feel the Ghoul coming, and damn is she pissed.^ 'The Ghoul?' Nabiki mouthed silently. The only one she ever really heard referred to as 'Ghoul' was Cologne, and that was by Ranma. ^Gotta go. I can piss off and distract Happosai but a pissed off Ghoul is something else.^ Snagging a stray piece of paper of Nabiki's desk Ranma used it for the Umisenken. Sealed techniques or not he was _not_ gonna be caught by Cologne in this form. Not yet anyways…

Outside the room Genma and Soun watched as the Cologne distributed blessed weapons to the two younger Amazons. Quietly, Cologne directed Mousse to go in first. As a male and a known troublemaker in the village, Mousse was considered 'expendable' in these situations. Puffing up at the 'honor' of being the first to attack the demon, Mousse kicked open the door and charged in, blessed scimitar in hand. With his glasses off, Mousse could only see one in the room, which promptly attacked. The unexpected shriek caught him guard as did the blow to the back of his head. As the myopic Hidden Weapons master dropped Cologne hopped on top of his prone form. "Idiot! Next time put your glasses on before you charge into a room like that!" Directing her gaze at the middle Tendo child the matriarch sketched a short bow. "I apologize for Mousse's stupidity child. I assure you it won't happen again." Here she paused before asking directly. "Tell me Ms. Tendo, do you know where the demon your father saw is?"

Nabiki snorted. "There wasn't any demon in here. The only thing that was in here with me was Kasumi's pet rabbit. Admittedly the little guy fights like a martial artist but that's not really that uncommon; P-chan does the same thing." Cologne's eyes narrowed as she considered the information. She was one of the few people in Nerima that knew that P-chan was Ryoga. '_Fights like Ryoga does he? It's possible…I don't sense anything demonic, not a trace. That ki embedded in Shampoo's injure didn't feel human, but the interaction between two Jusenkyo curses could explain it. Maybe. Still, chances are that he's not a demon, then he's some kind of nature spirit. A strong one at that._'

"Could you tell me where he is now?"

Nabiki waved the older woman off. "I couldn't honestly tell you. He ran off a bit ago, probably when mister Saotome stomped up the stairs."

Deciding to take the girl's word for now Cologne jumped off Mousse and turned to the rest of her audience. "I want all of you to split up and search the house. He may or may not be a demon but I should still examine him for everyone's safety." There was some grumbling from the 'Idiot Duo' but even Mousse got up and joined the search.

In the hallway Ranma's concentration was taken up by maintaining the Umisenken. He might know the technique but he wasn't a master, and doing it as a cabbit was more difficult. Moving carefully to avoid making sound he snuck past Kasumi and headed for the stairs. For now, he'd hide in the flower garden and waiting for the Amazons to leave. As he stepped out into the yard Ranma praised his cabbit senses. Without the energy sensitive whiskers he would have never sensed Cologne in time to hide. Making for the garden, the formerly human martial artist pondered on how to best keep this level of energy detection when he turned back into a guy. It would probably be a pain like all the other training he'd ever done but being able to spot the Ghoul or the Freak long before they could see him would be worth it.

"BWEE!"

Paw in air, Ranma froze. That sound. The only thing that made that kind of sound was… Turning he dashed for the dojo, where the squeal of a soon-to-be-dead piglet had come from.

'_I'm gonna beat you black and blue Ryoga. And then you're going to tell me where you got that box or I'll really show you what Hell is._'

* * *

"Kiyaa!"

Smiling in satisfaction, Akane straightened up and began wiping the sweat from her face. It had taken a great many broken blocks but she felt better. Getting attacked by Kasumi yesterday had thrown her badly off-balance. Kasumi was the gentle one. The sweet and endlessly patience one who's response to violence was a simple 'Oh my!' and wrung hands. Kasumi was most certainly not supposed to break out a frying pan and brain her! Akane took deep breaths to calm back down. As awful as that had been, it was over now. As long as she didn't try to mallet Neko, Kasumi wouldn't knock her into next week. Besides, it was just a stupid if somewhat cute little bunny. She probably shouldn't be swinging an enormous hammer at him anyways. He'd get squished.

"Bwee!"

Akane's expression lit up with a gentle smile as her own 'baby' strode across the dojo floor.

"P-chan! Where've you been sweetie! I missed you." Feeling very content Akane quickly picked up her pet and hugged him close. She always felt better when P-chan was around. He was so cuddly and a great listener. Speaking of which… "It's awful P-chan. Kasumi hit me! With a frying pan even! All because I lost my temper and took a swing at her little rabbit." Akane didn't mention her attempt at cooking as she felt there was absolutely nothing wrong with her doing so. At the mention of the word 'rabbit' P-chan looked up at her.

"Bwee?"

Akane had always believed that P-chan was smarter then the average piglet. When she talked, he reacted. When she referred to something he caught it, unless it was obscure. Over time she'd learned to interpret his squeals, sort of. Still, this one was obviously curiosity. "While you were gone Kasumi got a pet of her own to take care of. It's a rabbit with the strangest black fur and the bluest eyes. He's kinda cute, I guess, but you're so much better looking, right P-chan!" 'P-chan' didn't even hear her. A rabbit here, with black fur, after he had hit Ranma with the magic box? There was only being that could possibly be.

"BWEE!" '_Must run away!_'

When P-chan gave a loud squeal and started thrashing in her hands, it was surprising enough that Akane dropped him. Before she could recover and snatch up her pet P-chan was already out the dojo doors.

"P-chan, come back!" The youngest Tendo didn't go after him right away, it was just too surprising. All she'd done was mention Neko and…

The connection was quickly made and Akane clenched her right hand into a fist. "You better not hurt my P-chan, rabbit, or I'll make you pay!"

* * *

In the Tendo's yard Ryoga was making a mad scramble for escape and safety. The last time he'd seen Ranma the other martial artist had been in a murderous rage, the weight of everything that'd been done to him over the years finally too much. Ryoga ignored his own hefty contributions to this mess and focused on the important things, things like getting the Hell out of here! The Lost Boy had almost made it to the front gate when a shadowy blur show out from nowhere and shoulder-slammed him off course. Fully aware of just who had hit him, Ryoga took a defensive stance. As much as the fanged fighter hated to admit, Ranma was a more skilled martial artist then he was. Two things, however, made the playing field fairly even. The first was despite Ranma's greater skill, the two young men where currently in the form of animals. A form in which Ryoga had a ton more experience handling then Ranma. The Lost Boy had also had a great deal of time to learn the limits, and the do's and don't of fighting as an animal. It meant more then you'd think at first. The second was that a lot of Ranma's more recent tricks were ki based, and Ryoga knew first hand that manipulating ki was a heck of lot hard when you were in a form that was so dissimilar from your own. Feeling a bit of confidence crept into with these thoughts, Ryoga bwee'd a challenge and charged his larger opponent.

Using advanced Anything Goes stealth techniques to remain unnoticed on top of the Tendo privacy wall, Happosai was the only witness to 'P-chan' and 'Neko' fighting. Scratching his bewhiskered chin the perverted grandmaster watched as the two mixed it up with martial art skills that no animal possessed. Happosai let them go at for a few minutes, neither mammal taking the advantage, before deciding to test a theory. Producing a thermos of water from his Gi(kept handy since finding all these Jusenkyo cursed fighters running around), Happosai gave it a quick heating with ki and splashed it on the both of them. Ryoga, surprised by the sudden change, froze for a disastrous moment. On the wall Happosai hissed in sympathy and shielded his junk. Below, Ryoga just squeaked as his brain attempted to comprehend the fact that a ki enhanced rabbit's foot had just ploughed into his groin at near Chestnut fist speed.

The sensation finally percolated through his skull and the Lost Boy fell over, rolling through the front gate and leaving Ranma and Happosai's sight for a moment. A moment was it took it seemed because when the two went to check on him, Ryoga was gone.

^Son of bitch! Mother-(Censored)! (Censored, Censored in English, Censored) I'll (Censored) his (Censored in Spanish), (Censored) his intestines up his (Censored)!^(6)

Happosai slowly backed away, ruthlessly suppressing his presence with every ounce of skill he possessed. He'd dealt with enough demons to know the signs, and this tiny rabbit was radiating a whole lot of the 'I'll kill you slowly and make you eat your own entrails' aura. The fact that he had done enough meditation and perceived enough Universal Truths(no one ever said he practiced them) to catch bits and pieces of the little guy's psychic broadcast was just making retreat seem more appealing. Eventually, he must have gotten enough distance or the rabbit calmed down enough that his mind was no longer being sandblasted by the spiritual equivalent of 'I Kill You!' Assuming a lotus position and lighting up his favorite pipe, Happosai considered his options.

'_One, I try to tackle the rabbit-demon._' The aged grandmaster quickly discarded that thought; he didn't even fight his own demons! '_Two, I arrange for a priest to get rid of it.'_ It was an intriguing notions but none of the local priests would tolerate him enough to explain the situation. _'I could always just visit another District and wait for the whole thing to blow over.'_ Hell, he could always do 2 _and_ 3. Bend the ear of some sucker/clergyman from another district until he tried/succeeded in handling the problem, all the while watching from a safe distance with a pair of binoculars. Nodding sagely, Happosai jumped to his feet. He'd fetch an unsuspecting sucker. Hell, it was going to be a priest; it was his job and he'd have to forgive ol' Happosai anyways. Pleased with the whole thing he set off the distance. He'd worry about location later, as long as it wasn't here.

* * *

Back at the dojo Ranma grumbled angrily as he started heading to the garden again, barely missing the idiots and the Amazons as they came out to look for the sudden and rather violent aura that had been blaring just seconds ago. Ranma couldn't believe his luck. He finds Ryoga within days of coming back but the bastard manages to escape before he could even ask a single question. It was obvious that the next time he saw Ryoga he'd have to be more careful. For now though, it seemed like he'd have to hide for the rest of the evening. That did not mean he was safe though. It took most of the dirty tricks and thieving skills that Genma had taught him at a young age to avoid being spotted. He'd would have jumped into the Umisenken to better the odds but no cloth meant no Thieves Cloak. Yet. This wasn't going to be fun.

It took the Amazons over an hour to leave, only moving to do so when Genma and Soun stopped searching and tromped inside to demand dinner. Annoyed by the lack of success, Cologne put up Spirit Wards in and around the house before gathering up her employees and returning to the Cat Café. Ranma chided himself into waiting a few extra minutes to make sure it wasn't a trick, but the Amazons didn't pop back. Entering the house, Ranma was greeted with a tense scene. Kasumi was refusing to serve dinner without him, claiming that 'rude house-guests aside', her Neko deserved a warm meal. Genma and Soun were tag-teaming her for the food but even Soun's less then subtle comments about a daughter's duties wasn't getting her to budge. Neither side paid attention to Akane's increasingly strident demands to be heard about the missing P-chan, a fact that was causing her to lose her temper. Nabiki, of course, sat on the side lines and enjoyed the whole show.

"Miyah."

Everyone fell silent as Ranma hopped into view, heading straight for Kasumi. While Kasumi was looking relieved, and Akane annoyed, both men looked stunned. Before leaving, Cologne had assured them that the Spirit Wards would slow Neko down and cause him pain if he tried enter, maybe even deny him entrance altogether. But here he was, as if he owned the place. While the patriarchs sweated, Akane glared angrily at Neko, having concluded that he did something to P-chan. She just didn't know what yet.

"Finally." Nabiki grunted, "Let's eat."

Looks of promise were exchanged as Kasumi served the meal, blissfully unaware of the general consensus reached.

_This isn't over…_

* * *

1.) You try sitting in front of laser-beam throwing, master martial artist spanking, battle aura blazing rabbit and see if anything it does isn't a little bit scary.

2.) Genma has 'forgotten' that kick at the breakfast table.

3.) Nabiki knows it's probably not his real name but he didn't offer it and she wasn't about to ask a laser bolt throwing demon/spirit for it.

4.) The Kuno's and Mousse were insane, Happosai was addicted to underwear, Ryoga and Akane were bi-polar, and Ranma was arrogant to the _point_ of stupidity.

5.) With all the trouble that happens in Nerima, something has to be instigating it.

6.) I sincerely doubt ANY one could have spent 10 years with Genma and not picked up some of the insults people would probably be throwing at him.

* * *

**Author's Note**: I think I promised at one point that this chapter would be longer, but damned if it didn't write it's self into a perfect moment to stop.

Sorry guys.

It seems that a bit of intrigue has hit the fields and everyone but Kasumi is jockeying for position. Happosai is gone to fetch a priest, and if you can't guess who he's going to end up conning then you've obviously not watched enough sit-coms to spot a cliché. The good news is that if nothing unfortunate happens then the muses are going to keep on trucking for RSDM. Chapter 6 with in another week if the wheels don't hit a tire-shredding strip.

P.S. Poor Doc Flareon, if these chapters had any real length he'd never have enough time to edit for me…

* * *

An Omake by the good Doc Flareon…

It was 3 am when Ranma slipped out of the Tendo's house. Paying attention to his surrounds in case the Amazons decided to ambush him, Ranma swiftly made his way to the nearest empty lot. Once there, an confident he was alone, Ranma _changed_. In place of a tiny cabbit there was now an enormous crystalline spacecraft. It's main body was a glossy black, broken up with a crimson core, and equally crimson tips on each of the spires jutting from the center mass. Despite its size the craft exuded a deadly grace and angular beauty. Barely suppressing an urge to Miyah in delight, Ranma had his navigational systems plot a course for the dark side of the moon. It was the closest place he could think of to create and practice his new Spaceship Fu katas in peace. He really didn't want to get shot at by the JSDF again. Those damn anti-aircraft missiles they used really stung…


	6. 6, or Duck Duck Mousse!

**Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah**

**Intro: **I just wanted to say that I'm really happy that I've received some omake submissions. Kytranis had a lovely idea about what would happen if the Cabbit Transformation device were to hit random anime and manga characters. If anyone else wants to get in on this, feel free to send me a private message or e-mail with your completed omake and I'll post it. Incidentally, Joe Fenton pointed out that the Thieves Cloak didn't require a sheet (or paper as the case may be). What I forgot to do was subtly point out the fact that Ranma needs it because a cabbit's ki flows differently then a humans; he will not need it in the future as he has 'relearned' the technique, so to speak. Sorry to all the purists out there; didn't mean to have that nag at you.

**Disclaimer**: Greetings, my gentle victims! I, the Tigee, am back from my sabbatical. Let this be a lesson to you that everyone should laugh villainously in moderation. While I have your attention, allow me to make it perfectly clear that the writer does, in no way, own Ranma ½ or Tenchi Muyo. Both of these entertaining intellectual properties belong to people whose names I do not care to look up. Not like you care, Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah! is back on. Sit back, relax, ignore me…just like you always do…

"Normal Speech"

'_Inner Thoughts'_

^Telepathy^

#Foreign Languages#

* * *

Watching the interactions of the breakfast table the next morning, Ranma knew that if he were to ever write a memoir, it would be titled 'SNAFU: the Ranma Saotome story'. As it stood, the only ones not out for his blood were Kasumi and Nabiki. Admittedly, that fact would keep Genma and the Tendo family off of his back but the Amazons still had it out for him. He had spent most of last night stalking the grounds because of it, keeping an eye out for intruders and practicing his stealth skills. They weren't perfect yet, and some of the subtler skills had yet to be converted for cabbit use, but he'd gotten the Thieves Cloak down to a simple stance. Starting on another carrot, Ranma decided it was time to start making plans for the day.

^Yo, Nabiki, how are we going to explain to Kasumi about me leaving with you?^

Nabiki nearly dropped her chopsticks when she heard a voice suddenly speak up in her head. Not at her best in the mornings due to low blood sugar, it took Nabiki several moments to recall that she'd made contact, so to speak, with Kasumi's 'rabbit'. Meeting Neko's eyes, she wondered briefly how he expected her to respond without looking crazy in front of her family.

^You going to ask for me or what?^ Nabiki frowned. Just because they'd made a deal didn't mean she wouldn't get back at him if he pissed her off. ^If you can hear me, blink twice.^ Feeling annoyed, she did so. Neko seemed to sink into thought at that, nibbling absently at his meal. ^Right…guess your not a telepath. Don't know what that makes you(1), but we can work around that. Still need an excuse though.^ Rolling her eyes, Nabiki decided to take charge of the situation.

"Kasumi, do you mind if I take Neko with me to school? Maybe give you and Daddy time to have a discussion about his treatment of Neko?" When Kasumi failed to deny the comment, Soun paled a little. The Tendo patriarch had lost almost all of his spine and resolve with the death of his wife. What little remained was held together by a fragile glue of honor, public image, and the motherly support offered by Kasumi. If his oldest child were to start scolding him…well, it wouldn't be pretty.

"There's no need for that, girls!" Soun interjected, "I'm sure Neko and I can get along just fine!" Soun's attempt to talk his way out the situation flopped when the cabbit in question chucked the remnants of his carrot at the man's face. Snickering at the shocked look on her father's face, Nabiki quickly finished her breakfast. That done, she grabbed her bag, bento, and Neko, pausing only to allow him to snatch a replacement carrot for the road. A glance at her younger sister told Nabiki that Akane wouldn't be joining her at the moment.

"See you all after school. Let's go, Bunny Boy." Soun watched his middle daughter and his eldest's pet leave with trepidation. '_Quick old boy, bail before she…_'

"Don't go anywhere Father. You and I need to have a talk about false accusations, and how they hurt my baby's feelings." Whimpering, Soun looked to Genma for moral support but the part-time panda had managed to disappear without a sound. From here he could hear Akane getting ready for school in the hallway, having fled to avoid Kasumi's oddly serene wrath.

'_Why does everything I love abandoned me…?_'

* * *

On the way to school, Nabiki couldn't help but contemplate the oddness of her appearance. Normal looking school girl with a rabbit on her shoulder…it was definitely getting some second looks. There was not much else to take up her attention until Nabiki and her passenger arrived at school. Despite his pushiness at the breakfast table, he was rather quiet now. Neko barely even twitched until Nabiki turned into the school gate and came face to face with a large crowd of eager-looking young men, armed with various sports equipment and training weapons, mostly bokken.

^What the Hell…?^

Nabiki sniffed derisively. "Don't pay any attention to these idiots. After a…houseguest of ours vanished, the local Head Idiot decided to start up these morning contests again. The one who manages to defeat my little sister gets to date her. It's as about as intellectual as a bar brawl, but it's good fodder for betting pools." After getting a small nod from her newest associate Nabiki headed towards her assistants, seniors that had worked for her last year, and started running down the overall plan for the day. Once the old business was taken care of, it was time to introduce Neko to the girls, who they had just barely succeeded in restraining themselves from asking about. "Ladies, this is Neko." There was some ahhing and cooing but you didn't hang around Nabiki for a few years and not learn some restraint. Smiling, Nabiki decided to play up his cuteness by scratching Neko behind the ears. "He's also our response to Happosai while Ranma's missing." That got their attention. Before they could ask though, a pompous voice cut through the general murmur of the school grounds.

"Hark, plebeians, for the fierce tigress Akane approaches!"

For Ranma, it was like that first day all over again. The horde of hormone-crazed teenagers assaulted en mass, Akane put them down with an efficient brutality, and Kuno stepped forward, completely ignoring his unconscious peers. "Truly, they are but a lot of weak fools. Attempting to subdue Akane Tendo in such a boorish manner. Only I, the Blue Thunder, scion of the noble house of Kuno, have the grace and the might to properly court such a woman!" Tatewaki droned on for a little while longer before Akane finally lost her patience and attacked. A few bets were placed, but to Ranma, it seemed that after the excitement his presence had created over the years, Akane and Kuno going at it just wasn't thrilling. Barely bothering to watch Akane smash Kuno into the ground, Ranma slumped over Nabiki's shoulder. Until time was found to answer the girls questions, there wouldn't be anything to do unless Happosai showed up.

'_Never thought I'd see the day where school got even more boring…_'

Two steps in the classroom door Ranma was swiftly reminded why one did not tempt Fate in Nerima.

"A bunny!" Came the girlish squeal as the teacher of Senior class F, one Ms. Hinako Ninomiya, spotted him. Before even Ranma could react, the black 'rabbit' was snatched off Nabiki's shoulder and fiercely cuddled. "He's so adorable! How would you like to come home with me, Mr. Rabbit?"

* * *

Blocks away, back at the Tendo dojo, Kasumi had finished her…talk…with father. The man in question was already on his way to the nearest bar to try and forget about the whole incident, helped along by Genma who had appeared only after Kasumi was out of sight. The young home-maker was just starting on the morning dishes when something shocking happened.

"Hands off my bunny, bitch!"

Blinking, Kasumi looked around the kitchen, utterly confused.

"Oh my…why ever did I say that?"

* * *

Shaking off a sudden chill, Nabiki stepped up to retrieve Neko. "I'm sorry, Ms. Ninomiya, but could I have him back? I don't want him to get, um, frightened."

^Hug…of…Doom. Help me…^

It took some more wheedling, and a lollipop, but Nabiki eventually managed to free Neko. The TA was amused to see that the rather powerful whatever-he-was was shaken up by the encounter. '_He can send Ryoga packing, but a hug from Hinako has him shaking in his furry little boots._' This entertaining little fact kept her smirking until just before the last bell rang and Kuno limped in. '_No matter how often I see him beaten up, it's still funny._' Depositing Neko on her desk, Nabiki spent the morning petting and scratching him when she wasn't taking notes. Not only did it help pass time but she was fairly positive that the principal would take exception to his presence if she let him wander freely. Luckily, if the soft mews and twitching feet meant what she thought, Neko fell asleep shortly after class started. When the lunch bell rang, Nabiki snagged her lunch and Neko before Hinako could get at him. It was time for a full introduction between her workers and the school's new anti-pervert insurance.

On a roof across the street from Furinkan, Cologne watched the mild excitement during lunch over the rabbit-beast. Right at the beginning of the lunch rush, Genma and Soun had stumbled into the Neko Hanten drunk. Feeding the two bumbling martial artists a cheap meal, the Amazon matriarch managed to learn a few things about this 'Neko'. From the way he had apparently walked through the Spirit Wards, he was either not a demon at all or one so powerful that even she was going to leave him the Hell alone. Until she got back-up anyways. But, at the moment, she was betting that he was in fact, some sort of nature spirit. She'd rethought her guess about him being a Jusenkyo victim. A look through her scrolls suggested that there was no spring of drowned hare, so he wasn't cursed unless that particular spring had popped up since she'd last been to the village. The lunch hour was nearing its end when Cologne heard something that made the aged Amazon bury her face in her hands.

"Die, demon-beast!"

Panic erupted among the high school students as Mousse arrived with his glasses off, hurling a brace of knives in the general direction of Neko. Swearing up a storm, Cologne made a quick decision. She could stop this stupidity and reveal herself to everyone, or she could stay hidden and watch whatever happened. Even if things ended…poorly… for Mousse, he was only a male, and one of the less tractable ones at that. His loss wouldn't harm the Amazons too greatly, and watching 'Neko' in action would give her insight to his mindset and powers. #You brought this on yourself fool. Only an idiot attacks an enemy unknown and unprepared.#

* * *

Lunch was surprisingly relaxing for man-turned-cabbit. In what was quickly becoming habit, Ranma rode outside on Nabiki's shoulders, using small bits of ki to secure his footholds. After meeting up with her associates, Nabiki led the way to her favorite tree, the one that offered the best view of the school yard. Taking their seats in a rough circle, the self-titled business woman started the daily lunch meeting. "Everyone, I'd like you meet my older sister's pet: Neko." Ranma waved a paw at them, nibbling on a pickle slice. "I'm not going to go into what he is, but suffice to say that he is _not_ a rabbit. Yesterday, he and I came to an agreement. He gets to live rent free with us, I don't sell him to the government, and in exchange he takes care of Happosai for us, to the best of his ability." There was some murmuring, but they seemed to have taken it in stride. Nabiki was a Tendo, after all. Weird things came from that family, like the Saotomes. The rest of lunch passed normally for the students, though Neko was passed between the girls and hand-fed his meal by doting females while everyone talked business. Ranma would have put it down as 'the most relaxing lunch at school ever' had Mousse not showed up.

"Die, demon-beast!"

Dodging the thrown knives with a 'Miyah' of irritation, Ranma set himself in a defensive stance away from everyone else. Mousse tended to compensate for his blindness by blanketing his target with projectiles. If Nabiki or anyone else was close by they were pretty much guaranteed to take a hit or two. He might have been annoyed by the attack, but Ranma wasn't surprised. There wasn't anyway that Mousse would pass up a chance to show off for Shampoo. Watching the white-clad Hidden Weapons master move to a better attack position, Ranma couldn't help but wonder what slaying a demon would do for the near-sighted martial artist's reputation. It would definitely make him more tolerated, maybe even appreciated. And since Amazons looked for strength in their spouses, it would only help his quest to marry Shampoo. '_Better stay on my toes, I'm not used to dodging that much steel as a cabbit._'

"Prepare to be slain, demon! With the secret techniques of the Chinese Amazons, I shall remove you from this world!" Psyched up, he waved both arms and unleashed a storm of sharpened steel. The last few stragglers in the student body fled the area as Ranma began a zigzagging evasive pattern. Letting his reflexes take over, the transformed Saotome began working on a plan to take down Mousse. He thought briefly of just blasting the other boy and getting it over with, but soon tossed the idea out. It had taken him a few times to notice but as a cabbit his ki blasts were slightly more powerful, more importantly, they were more focused as well. Instead of just a concussive blast, they had gained some real penetrating power. Against someone like Ryoga or Genma, who were crazy tough, that just meant they were more effective. Someone like Mousse though, his improved ki blasts would do some serious damage. It wasn't a big deal though, he'd just weave his way through Mousse's ammo and kick the back of the Amazons skull a few times to put him down. Ranma was actually making progress to the Hidden Weapon master when Mousse unexpectedly leapt back. Tilting his head, Ranma tried to figure out why he'd just disengaged. Mousse's pride as an Amazon usually wouldn't let him make a run for it unless he was well and truly being beaten.

Chuckling, Mousse reached up his sleeves and pulled out a pair of black leather gloves and slid them on. "You're quite the little speed demon, aren't you?" Cackling at his own wit, Mousse clenched his hands to finish setting his gloves. "That's ok, demon, I'm used to fighting fast people. In fact, I've developed a new technique to deal with people who are quicker then me. I made it to take out Saotome, but you'll make a fine test subject. Let's see what you'll do now, creature!" With a manic grin, Mousse snapped his arms and strands of some gleaming material shot out of his hands. Ducking clear out of the way, Ranma watched the strands wrap around a tree behind him, holding still just long enough for him to identify them as steel wires. Then, with a small tug, Mousse pulled the wires tight…and they sliced through the 20-inch tree trunk like it was made of paper. Seeing the jaws drop in his audience, Mousse decided he could afford to brag a little. "Do you like it demon? I got the idea from one of the local mangas. A little ki infusion, manipulation, and a modification of Ryoga's Iron Cloth technique, and suddenly you've got the wire-fighting style of the Angel of Death!(2) Now, DIE!"

Desperately diving to the side, Ranma barely avoided being turned into sliced lunch meat. Suddenly, taking the risk of just blasting Mousse got a whole lot more attractive…

* * *

On her roof top perch, Cologne's grip on her staff tightened to the point that the age-hardened wood creaked. How? How had the bumbling idiot made something like that? Even from here she could see the damage being dealt by simple steel wires. A second tree, a metal trash can, packed earth, all of it cut like rotted cloth as Mousse attempted to pin down the rabbit-creature. The worst part was that this was just a test run! What kind of destruction would that obsessive fool inflict the next time he tried to win Shampoo's hand in marriage? What would he do the next time he decided that he didn't like an order he was given by the Elder's Council? No, Cologne decided, eyes turning hard as flint. There would not be a next time. Mousse would either learn to reign in his behavior or she would remove him…personally.

* * *

^Damn it!^ Ranma bellowed, heard only by Nabiki. ^I'm starting to get pissed off here!^ Even with his best efforts, Ranma wasn't able to completely avoid Mousse's wires. The martial artist cabbit had over a dozen shallow wounds on his back and flanks from where he'd been clipped by his Amazon opponent. '_Screw this._' Ranma thought, '_I don't care who sees me right now, if I don't do something Mousse is going to actually get me._' Shifting his posture slightly, Ranma dove into a dust cloud raised by Mousse's attacks. When a gust of wind cleared the area, the cabbit was gone. Eyes in the yard and across the street widen at the disappearing act. Feeling a bit nervous now that he couldn't even see his enemy's outline, Mousse spun in circles, lashing out blindly around him.

"I, Tatewaki Kuno, demand to know what is occurring!"

Startled, Mousse reflexively attacked the source of the sound. Kuno sputtered in surprise as his bokken fell to pieces with a soft _slinck_. Quickly regaining his composure, Kuno drew a spare bokken from his clothes and assumed a starting kendo stance. "I know not the weaver of this sorcery, but show thyself and receive the punishment of Heaven!" Kuno's blustering was completely ignored as Mousse finally slid his glasses on, deeming the hiding demon enough of a threat to put on his humiliating eyewear. Taking a moment to note that there wasn't a student except Kuno anywhere in sight, Mousse prepared to launch his best new wire attack.

_Rustle rustle _went the bushes behind him_._

Whirling, the Amazon threw out his arms. "Take this! Wire-Fu Technique: Web of Fate!" From Mousse's sleeves, dozens of wire poured out, wrapping around everything in front of him. Moments later, a steel spider web had formed, possessing a deadly beauty before the whole thing went taut and reduced everything to diced chunks. In the distance, whispers started among the watching student body. They had long thought Mousse to be the weakest of the male half of the Wrecking Crew(3), but watching the notoriously near-sighted Amazon wreak havoc like that…opinions changed. For his part, Mousse was delighted. The demon was defeated and his wire techniques were very successful. With this to boast his status, and Ranma gone these past few weeks, maybe it was time to make another attempt for Shampoo's hand. He couldn't lose, not with this kind of…

"**Miyah." **^Dumb-ass.^

Since he was actually wearing his glasses for once, Mousse got a good look at the source of the deeper/louder then expected call of the rabbit-demon. More accurately, he got a good look at the demon's back feet as he mule-kicked the robed Amazon. With a loud series of crashing sounds, Mousse was thrown through the surviving vegetation and over the school's wall. Shaking his pony sized body to make sure he had kept his balance, Ranma went to leapt after Mousse but he was stopped when a bokken was shoved in his face.

"Halt, foul beast! I, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High shall vanquish you!" Sighing, Ranma made a quick plan. Shifting his weight, Ranma jumped straight at Kuno. When the swordsman went to block, the cabbit released his growth technique, passing clean under the bokken. "What?" Kuno managed to glance down at Neko before the cabbit nailed him in the chin. Hopping off Kuno's falling body, Ranma started off in the general direction that Mousse had been launched in. When it became clear that the excitement was over for the moment, the students emerged from their hiding spots and headed back into school. Nabiki was the last to go in, smirking the whole way. Kuno and Mousse had barely even slowed Neko down. It wasn't much of a field test compared to what Happosai would be dishing out, but it was a good sign.

"I wonder how long Neko will be hanging around? I need to get a video camera for his and Kuno's next meeting. Footage of Kuno-baby getting beaten up by a rabbit ought be worth a pretty penny around here."

Moving carefully, Ranma moved up and down the sidewalk, hiding in the shadows. Despite finding the crater where he'd landed, Ranma couldn't find Mousse. He couldn't be sure, but Ranma doubted Mousse would able to just get up and walk away from a hit like that. '_Someone grabbed him. Probably the Old Ghoul. Don't think anyone else in Nerima would bother picking him up._' With a final sweep of the street, Ranma headed back to Furinkan. He was still on Happosai duty after all.

Juuban District

Later that day…

Had the citizens of the Juuban district looked up that day, they would have been surprised to see a small figure hop his way across town by way of roof tops. Although known as one of Tokyo's 'Troubled' districts, Juuban was plagued by Magical Girls and Youma more then anything else. The ultra-skilled martial artists of Nerima were far outside the average Juuban dweller's experience. Even if the locals _had _spotted the short blur they would have had no clue what to do. Thus, Happosai made his way unmolested into the temple area of Juuban. For the lecherous grandmaster, the journey itself was close to torture. No matter how tempting the pretty, no matter how beautiful the woman, he couldn't partake of his usual hobbies if he was to get help from the local clergy. You needed someone well trained to handle a real demon and a well trained priest would no doubt be able to sense the fresh perversion in his aura if he played with the ladies shortly before he visited. Shuddering as he passed yet another cute high school girl Happosai opened his senses and homed in on the largest and purest spiritual aura he could find.

'_Nope, too weak. That one doesn't have any real training. Bah, that one is almost as much a drunk as Genma, that lazy worthless pupil. Useless, useless, useless…hello, what's that?_'

Utilizing some of his better stealth techniques, Happosai moved in on the odd but intensely spiritual presence he'd detected in a hilltop shrine. Breezing past an older man sweeping the grounds and grumbling about a lack of pretty shrine maiden(Something Happosai could _totally_ sympathize with), the grandmaster tracked the source of the presence. Inside a well-kept building a blued fire burned merrily, radiating the pure spiritual presence he'd sensed. Identify the fire for what it was, Happosai backed away from the building to think. '_A real Sacred Flame. I haven't seen an active one of those in years. If the keepers of this shrine can keep that baby going, then they're the real deal. Perfect for taking care of little Nabiki's new friend._'

Happosai was plotting up ways of getting the elder shrine master to go to Nerima when the ancient martial artist heard a younger female voice inform her grandfather that she was home and she was expecting friends. It was idle curiosity that made him probe the girl's aura but when he got an impression of her Happosai nearly fell out of the tree he was hiding in. The girl was crazy powerful! On par with that bird-brain Saffron even! How in the world did a teenaged girl get a hold of that kind of power? The perverted grandmaster briefly thought of his reluctant student, Ranma, being able to tap that kind of strength and shivered for several minutes in terror. Happosai was shaken out of his vision of suffering when he heard several more voices drift through the shrine grounds. It seemed that there was a meeting of some kind going on. A wiser man would have hesitated, not wanting to risk the wrath of such a potent figure. He'd never been one to think about repercussions though, and Happosai used the Extra-dimensional Warp(4) to become one with the air before moving in to spy on the gaggle of girls meeting in the house on the shrine grounds.

"Alright! This week's gather and gossip session has begun. Who would like to go first?" Rei rolled her eyes at Minako's attempt at humor.

"I don't suppose anyone has something serious to talk about before Minako and Makoto start giggling over cute boys?"

Ami cleared her throat gently. "I do, actually. Earlier this week I saw Hotaru, and she seemed a little depressed. I'm not sure what it was over but I'm almost certain she was upset." Frowns abounded in the 5-girl group. Their relationship with Hotaru had started off rather strained but the girl was so shy and sweet you couldn't help but grow to like her. If something was making her unhappy then they would definitely have to investigate.

Waving one of Minako's cookies as if it were one of her old transformation pens, Usagi declared. "For Friendship and Justice, we shall not rest until the source of her unease is punished…after we figure out what it is." There were some sheepish looks around the table as the girls got swept into Usagi's heartfelt speech and only afterwards recalled that they didn't know what was bothering the Saturn Senshi.

Hidden in the corner by the Extra Dimensional Warp technique, Happosai only half listened to the girls chatter on about one of their friends. He was far more concerned with scanning each of their auras. What he found nearly gave the shriveled old man a heart attack. Each and everyone of these girls was a magic user of the greatest power! That silly looking blonde one alone… The Anything Goes grandmaster could barely contain himself after spotting that. If the girl had possessed an even slightly better figure, Happosai would have risked the magical girl's wrath and attempted to glomp her. With as much 'oomph' as the girl was putting out, even a short groped would have kept him running for weeks. Still, it was better not to aggravate a group of pretty ladies who could probably blast him to dust. Nodding to himself over the wisdom of not throwing himself at the girls, Happosai slipped from the room and back to his hiding spot in the tree. Digging through what he had stashed on his person, Happosai soon stumbled on an older woman's outfit in his size. It took him a minute to recall why he had something like that, but memories of ordering the ungrateful punk's fiancees around in the guise of 'Mother-in-law training' made him smile(5). Donning the garb, Happosai decided to go straight to the older shrine keeper. Maybe he'd get lucky and the old priest would be half blind?

Part way through the meeting, which as Rei predicted eventually dissolved into giggles, the young miko-in-training was called away by her grandfather. It wasn't unusual. Rei did work at a shrine after all, and they got visitors at all hours during the day. Minako was arguing the finer qualities of college boys with Makoto when Rei walked back in, the oddest expression on her face. Ami was not long in catching on to this, though Usagi was fairly distracted making contributions to the argument in favor of older boyfriends.

"You look distracted Rei. Did your grandfather embarrass you in front of guests again?" The other three girls might have been in the middle of an intense conversation(by their standards) but they did have the decency to pay attention when something was wrong with one of their own. So when Rei vaguely waved the question off, they stopped talking and started paying attention.

"No no, not this time. Someone just made a request of grandpa, and something about it seems…off."

"Off how?" Makoto asked, feeling curious. Rei didn't talk to much about guests of the shrine.

Rei's face scrunched up slightly. "I'm not sure…just, off. I can't pin it down to one thing. The requester seemed suspicious too."

"What was the request anyways." Rei focused in on Ami's expression.

"The old lady, the requester, swears that there is a demon of some kind at a place called the Tendo Dojo. She gave grandpa a really bad drawing of it and claimed that it was being trained to terrorize the innocent elderly. Grandpa seems rather worked up about the whole thing, but I'm not sure."

Ami tapped her finger thoughtfully, considering what Rei could be driving at. "Do you think it's a trap?"

Rei shook her head. "No. I didn't get that impression. The whole thing…it's just weird!" Looks were exchanged as Ami broke out the Mercury Computer.

Beaming, Usagi leapt to her feet. "Don't worry Rei! No matter what happens, we'll stick together! The Sailor Senshi will accompany you to slay the demon!" Minako and Makoto cheered while Rei rolled her eyes. Ami just smiled at her upbeat friends antics, starting research on the Tendo Dojo.

A few rooms away Happosai kept up the 'little old lady' act, sipping at tea while using his finely-tuned and ki enhanced hearing to spy on his newest patsy/minions. By the sound of things, they'd be hitting Nerima tomorrow, since it was Saturday. '_You're clever Nabiki, but I'm cleverer still! Bwa-Hahahah! All the pretties will be mine, all mine!_'

Back in Nerima

Earlier that day…

Today was a good day to be her, Nabiki thought to herself as she walked out of Furinkan that day. After the bruhaha at lunch, Nabiki's information selling saw a healthy spike. Everyone who hadn't already met Neko was buying up info on the newest big-hitter at Furinkan. Even the students in senior class F were trying to get their hands on an idea of what Neko was capable of. She saw an even bigger rush to buy when Kuno woke up and promptly attempted to attack the cabbit again. Seconds later, after a bone-cracking kick, Kuno was unconscious again. Even occupied with her business and her responsibilities as a TA, Nabiki paid enough attention to her sister's pet to notice that he was more alert and tense then he'd been that morning. It made sense to her though. Neko was smart enough to negotiate and hold a conversation so he definitely had the brains to realize that someone was gunning for him. Or trying to gun for him anyways. Despite repeated attempts by Kuno to 'slay the foul demon beast' the swordsman was accomplishing nothing but gathering a fine collection of paw shaped bruises. Even Akane, who still wasn't all that comfortable with Kasumi's pet, relaxed enough to enjoy watching Tatewaki getting laid out. Between grading papers and the rush on her network, Nabiki didn't leave Furinkan until around 4:30. With a grunt and a spine-popping stretch, she sauntered off the grounds, Neko easily clinging to her shoulder. Shuffling a bit to catch his 'partner's' attention, Ranma decided he'd behaved long enough today.

^Ice cream. I could really go for ice cream right now.^

Nabiki swiveled to face her passenger. "Ice cream? Do you even know what ice cream tastes like?"

Neko twitched. ^Why wouldn't I know what ice cream tastes like? Just because I'm different doesn't mean I can't enjoy nice things.^

Nabiki opened her mouth to point out that vendors generally didn't sell to rabbits, but decided that it wasn't worth getting into an argument over it. Besides, she could go for something sweet herself, and since today _was_ her best profit in 3 weeks… "Right. I know the perfect place to grab something. As a sign of good faith, I'll even treat you." Neko purred, knowing how much Nabiki _hated_ parting with her own cash. Getting treated by her was a rare event. Nabiki looked rather pleased herself. Paying for someone else went against her grain, but Neko was an unknown. She knew most of Nerima well enough to have them dancing to her tunes, but the only strings she had to pull on Neko was their agreement and the short list of likes and dislikes that she had managed to compile. If it took shelling out a bit of yen to keep her odd but powerful new associate content, then it was worth it. With a casual camaraderie that they had never quite managed when Ranma was human, the two walked to Nabiki's favorite sweets shop.

Meanwhile, in the nearby Cat Café…

With a groan, Mousse awoke to a pounding head ache and throbbing pain throughout his body. Wondering who had worked him over(it was much more efficient in Nerima to ask who, rather then what), Mousse tried to roll over since his back seemed to be the worst off. A lack of movement informed him that he'd been restrained somehow. Prying his eyes open, the male Amazon focused his gaze enough to make out the thick leather bands pinning him to the bed. He also made a note of the fact that he was stark naked. "This is either really good or really _really_ bad." He muttered, thinking of some of his village's more 'exotic' sex games.

"Try bad, fool." Mousse cursed, easily recognizing Cologne's voice. He'd faced a hell of a lot of disciple over the years for his actions, many of which were greatly frowned upon given his 'mere male' status, but being strapped down and stripped like this meant he'd really fallen into this time. That didn't mean the bat was going to get him to show fear though.

"What's the matter you shriveled mummy? Got an itch you just have to scratch?" Scowling, Cologne smacked the impudent fool over the head.

"You wouldn't be so flippant if the Elder's Council had seen that little display of yours. You're getting far too out of control Mousse. If this continues, don't think that even your grandmother will be able to continue shielding you from the repercussions of your actions. You _will_ learn to behave, Mousse, or you will be punished." The matriarch's eyes narrowed. "In a very permanent manner if your little wire trick were to be brought up." To the older Amazon's surprise, Mousse laughed at the threat. Amazon men had been executed in the past for defying village law or simply growing too strong to control. While Cologne had no problem trying to drag the much-stronger Ranma to the village, it was because the boy was almost incapable of raising his hand to a woman, and his obsession with honor would make him easy to manipulate. Mousse on the other hand, had the Amazon-bred resistance to 'special' herbs and had been trained in a nation where woman were considered the stronger gender. Add in a rebellious attitude and those new and very deadly wire techniques and Mousse was suddenly walking the fine line of being too dangerous to be uncontained. Mousse might have been a fool but this should have been clear to him, so why the hell was he laughing?

"Tell me, Mummy, what are wires when you're using them to attack someone? Weapons, that's what! If you and the rest of those old prunes take my head for _that_ I can guarantee that you'll have bigger problems then me. I wonder how long the village will hold together if all the men are terrified that they'll be killed for completing their duties just a little too well, hmm?"(6)

Cologne had to give the boy credit, he'd obviously thought this one out. '_For once in his life…_' Out loud, she said "Just because you have a loophole doesn't mean you can dodge the Council's displeasure forever Mousse." Turning, she hopped away on her staff, pausing at the door long enough to throw a comment over her shoulder. "As punishment for stupidity with the Tendo's creature, I'll be leaving you in here. Enjoy, idiot." After the door was closed, Mousse snorted in amusement. She thought this was going to teach him a lesson? Cologne was slipping if she actually thought this was going to hold him. Moving his tongue out of the way, Mousse sent ki to his mouth and into the wires hidden there. Like a charmed cobra, a single wire danced its way out of his mouth and began cutting through his bonds. In no time he'd be free and, with a bit of sneaking, out. Even if he hadn't shown it, Mousse took Cologne's threats seriously. If the Matriarch was actually starting to feel threatened, then it was only a matter of time before they got charges on him or he had an 'accident'. It was time to start on his emergency preparations.

A ninja's life was full of perils. It was a rather simple statement really, but the demands of the Kuno family on Sasuke didn't leave much time for personal reflection. It was amazing, the vertically challenged ninja thought, the sort of thing that a notoriously 'eccentric' clan would have their retainers do. Take this errand for example. Yesterday he had given mistress Kodachi the transcripts of his surveillance of the Amazons. Shortly after reading them over she had concluded that Nabiki Tendo had entered into a compact with a demon disguised as a rabbit and that the fiscally orientated Tendo child had offered up Ranma Saotome as a living sacrifice to seal the bargain. Really, it sounded more like the mistress accidentally getting into her 'special' teas…again. Sasuke was willing to admit there was something a little off about the newest member of the Tendo family that didn't necessarily mean that he was a demon! Sighing, he snapped a photo of Nabiki and Neko. While not sure how to determine if the rabbit was in fact a demon, he could at least put together an official looking file to soothe his mistress and buy time to do research. Sasuke was half-seriously considering paying Nabiki for information when the girl in question stopped walking. The pint-sized shinobi watched curiously as his target turned her head slightly, facing her passenger. They stared at each for a few moments before Nabiki unexpectedly turned off the main road and walked into an alleyway.

Sasuke cocked his head. '_Where is she going? Oh I have a bad feeling about this._'

Other then the rabbit on her shoulder, the walk home from the desert parlor was normal, until said rabbit suddenly 'spoke' up. ^Single ninja on the rooftops. Small, moderately skilled, looks a little like a rodent. Sound familiar?^ Nabiki turned to face him with an eyebrow quirked.

"Rodent-like? Black outfit, red lining for the hood?"

Neko nodded. ^Yeah, that's him. We gonna do something about him?^ Nabiki didn't have to consider it very long.

"Yes, let's go ahead and deal with him. Sasuke is simple enough to take care of. I'm going to slip down this alley, can you catch him?"

Neko snickered mentally, huffing out loud. ^Don't you worry 'bout that Nabiki, I've got you covered. Heh heh heh.^

Twitching, Sasuke crept along the roofs edging the alley, waiting for it to happen. He had no clue what it was, but since bad things seemed to happen to him quite often, Sasuke didn't think it much of a stretch to think that something bad was almost certain to happen to him while in a darkened alleyway. All the movies and stories agreed that these places were the worst for this sort of thing. Sasuke froze, hearing something scrape the roof behind him. He didn't want to turn around. If he did, whatever it was would get him, but if he didn't it would get him any ways and he wouldn't even…

_BAM!_

Huffing, Neko faded into sight on top of the unconscious ninja. '_Far too easy._'

When Sasuke opened his eyes, he was staring straight into the gaze of the beast. Smiling uneasily, Sasuke wondered how he was going to escape this situation.

"Sasuke, how nice to see you. It seems like we haven't done business in forever." Smirking, Nabiki drifted into Sasuke's view, arms crossed. A cold sweat broke out on Sasuke's brow. He might have been captured by an unknown creature, who may or may not be a demon, but Nabiki was still far scarier.

"Haha, so it seems miss Tendo! That's just, um, a _terrible_ oversight on my part!"

"There's no need to be afraid Sasuke. My little friend here isn't going to hurt you unless you do something stupid. You wouldn't do that, would you?"

Sasuke shook his head furiously. "Of course not!" The ninja licked his lips, working up courage for a potentially dangerous question. "Might I ask Tendo-san, what _is _your friend? I've never seen anything quite like him."

Nabiki looked thoughtful, tapping a slender finger against her lips. "Actually…I'm not sure myself." Moving confidently Nabiki scooped up Neko, calling attention to the fact that the ninja wasn't restrained in anyway. Sasuke was more interested in the fact that after picking the rabbit up, Nabiki held him eye to eye. Her face twitched every now and then, and the house ninja soon realized that she was having an unheard conversation with the rabbit. Not long after, she nodded and placed Neko on her shoulder. He did not slip an inch from where she placed him. "He's a familiar, sort of a guardian. You could also think of him as a companion or, in my case, bodyguard. That answer your question?" Sasuke nodded, it was a good start.

"Yes, thank you, Miss Tendo. Would it be possible for me to depart now? I do have other duties to perform for the Kuno clan." Nabiki waved airily.

"Sure thing Sasuke. Don't be a stranger, we used to work together quite often after all." The tiny ninja, nodded once, before departing in a cloud of smoke. Snickering, Nabiki turned to leave the alley.

"I can't wait for that to get back to Kuno-baby and his crazy bitch sister." Ranma blinked in surprise, he hadn't known that Nabiki felt that intensely about Kodachi.

'_There's a story behind that one, and I'm not sure if I really wanna hear it._'

Coming home was…odd. The moment she stepped in the door, Kasumi appeared as if by magic and immediately swept Neko into her arms, cooing and petting the rabbit. Telepathically, she could hear him melt in contentment as Kasumi's skilled fingers hit all the right places. Shaking her head, Nabiki found it hard to reconcile the image of 'lovable house pet' he showed around her sister, and the power house he was that afternoon. Still, hard didn't mean impossible, and she had a sneaking feeling that she still hadn't seen the full depths of Neko's power. Putting it out of mind for now, Nabiki headed upstairs to relax before dinner.

Watching her eldest sister bustle around the house, lavishing attention on her pet as she completed her tasks, Akane felt a stab of jealousy. It wasn't a great deal, but the envy was still there. It was why she reacted so badly to Neko in the first place. Akane had long come to realize that P-chan would not be around all the time. It seemed that he had the same problem with directions that Ryoga did. Watching Kasumi be so happy with Neko, it made her a little green. Sighing, Akane kept watching as dinner was set out, and everyone gathered. Starting on her dinner, Akane cast a last long look at Kasumi's smiling face. '_I wonder if my envy would drive away Kasumi, like my anger drove away Ranma._' Feeling despondent, Akane swore to put aside those feelings. As much she proclaimed otherwise, Akane had felt something for Ranma. She'd never managed to define exactly what is was that she felt, but there had been something there. If only she had more time, and the father's hadn't pushed them so hard…maybe she would have been able to figure it out. Akane sighed again, gaining no notice from anyone at the table. It was hard to keep caring when all she'd done since Ranma's disappearance was mope or rage.

* * *

That evening…

"Sasuke, attend me!"

In her personal chambers, Kodachi reclined upon her luxurious bed lazily examining her manicure. In a faint breathe of movement Sasuke arrived. "You called, Mistress Kodachi?" The Kuno heiress nodded.

"Yes, Sasuke. I wish to know what progress you've made on uncovering the secrets of Nabiki Tendo's pet demon." Kodachi eyes flashed in rage as thought of what Nabiki was no doubt doing or had done with such a creature at her disposal. Sasuke swallowed nervously seeing his mistress's hands clench hard enough to draw blood. Privately, Sasuke felt that Kodachi was the more terrifying of the Kuno siblings. Master Tatewaki would at least charge you and attempt to slay you in open battle. Mistress Kodachi, on the other hand, would destroy you from the shadows. Striking at you from concealment, taunting and tormenting you with cunning traps and dirty tricks. In all the years of his service of the Kuno clan, Sasuke had only seen this horror occur once. But it was enough that he NEVER disobeyed her when he could.

"Yes mistress, I have some photos of the creature, as well as some rather interesting information." Sasuke paused a moment to allow his mistress to peruse the file he provided her. "It would seem mistress, that the creature known as 'Neko' is _not_ a demon. He is in fact, a familiar. I took the liberty of researching the word in the Kuno family library. It would seem, Mistress Kodachi, that a familiar is a magical creature that binds itself to a sorcerer or witch. They act much like the magical animal companions you saw in those magical girl cartoons you once watched as a child, only more serious." Kodachi blinked slowly as she processed this information. Magical companion? '_But that would make Nabiki Tendo a magical girl of some sort. Sasuke _did _mention that familiars also bind themselves to witches. Still…_'

Slowly, ever so slowly, a smile began to make its way across her face. It was not a nice smile, not by the meanest definition of the word. Kneeling properly, Sasuke watched in dismay as a smile he'd never hoped to see again came to rest on his mistress's face. He did not know who or what had earned her wrath, but here and now, Sasuke prayed for their soul.

* * *

1.) As a reminder, you can only communicate mentally with a cabbit if you have a mental gift or a bond with them. Nabiki has a gift, but has no clue what it is.

2.) A nod to Hellsing. The butler Walter, despite being retired, is absolutely deadly with wires. He uses them several times to devastating effect, and Alucard reveals that before retirement, Walter was known as 'The Angel of Death'.

3.) I know it's not cannon, but I REALLY like the whole 'Nerima Wrecking Crew' title.

4.) From one of the anime episodes, where Soun and Genma attempt to use the teachings of another master to defeat Happosai.

5.) From the anime. The girls got worked over one of Ranma's decisions and decided to train themselves to greet the future mother-in-law. Happosai used this boss them around and make them clean the dojo in the guise of training.

6.) Mousse is a Hidden Weapons master. In this story, _the _Hidden Weapons master. A title that comes with obligations and responsibilities, including expanding his art for the good of future Amazons. Getting executed for designs a new weapons technique wouldn't exactly go well with the other male Amazons.

* * *

**Author's Note**: I'm sorry about the long update on this one guys. I kept writing and rewriting certain parts. I just couldn't get it right. Some of you may be wondering why this chapter turned out as serious as it did but some things need to be set up and I couldn't do it humorously. The good news is, that with this out of the way, chapter 7 will have a great deal of comedy in it. The maneuverings of last chapter have begun to take effect, and things are heading to an ugly looking pile-up.

There are also a couple things I know people are going to ask about, so I'm going to address them.

First off, yes, the Sailor Senshi will be making a full scale appearance next chapter. No, it will not bode well for Ranma.

Two, Mousse displaying bad-assery. Not a lot of people seem to go this route but it seems to be that Mousse is considered the weakest of the male NWC(Nerima Wrecking Crew). Mousse, in his own way, is also the most practical minded and ruthless of the group. He's willing to do what it takes to get the job done. I've felt with one rather interesting technique, he could be a real force to reckon with. He's not going to be the alpha male, but he's done taking shit from both sides.

Three, Kodachi. Come on people! That's prime crazed/cunning psycho bitch potential. A lot of what she's going for or doing may not make sense, but she wasn't playing with a full deck before Ranma was 'taken from her.' Now that her guiding and stabilizing influence is gone? Her marbles are loose and half missing.

Anyways, I hope that answers some of the questions you might have. Feel free to send me any others that you can think of though. I wouldn't want you guys to not enjoy RSDM because I made an easily fixable mistake. Also, omakes. Love them omakes.

Manically Yours,

Tigee86.

* * *

An Omake idea by Michael68

The morning that Kiyone was to bond with her new cabbit partner, the residents of the Masaki Shrine where greeted by the sight of the usually unflappable Washu sitting at the dining room table looking frazzled with a mug of coffee in hand. Worried, they gathered around to try and offer support. Kiyone was the first to speak, fearing that something was wrong with her ticket to freedom from Mihoshi's piloting skills.

"What's wrong Washu? Did something happen in your lab?"

Washu twitched. "Yesss, you could say that." The pint-sized scientist gulped down another mouthful of coffee. "Ran-ohki bonded this morning." Washu wasn't surprised when everyone exploded into conversation. Kiyone, obviously, was the most stressed.

"Bonded? Bonded to who!" Washu braced herself; this wasn't going to be pretty.

"Ryo-ohki."

Jaws dropped and everyone fell silent, wondering how in blues blazes a cabbit managed to bonded to another cabbit. Taking another gulp, Washu went for the kill.

"That's not all. There was a side-effect to the bonding. Ryo-ohki has undergone some unexpected…changes." At this, Ryoko stiffened.

"What happened to Ryo-ohki? What happened to my partner!"

She really didn't want to be the one to deal with Ryoko for this, the former pirate was sure to blow her top, but Washu was the only one who could possibly explain this.

"When they bonded, Ran-ohki and Ryo-ohki went deeper then most because they were equals; two cabbits connecting. It shouldn't have been a big problem, but Ran-ohki's mindset was much more mature then expected. He's an adult, so his mind works differently then what Ryo-ohki's did. So, she instinctively attempted to adapt to him. Put simply…she grew up."

Ryoko calmed down hearing that Ryo-ohki was ok, and everyone started to consider what Washu had just told them.

_Bang!_

Jumping and turning, everyone looked to the disturbance and their jaws dropped for the second time this morning. Striding into the room was Ryo-ohki in her humanoid form. Her _changed_ form. Clad in faded, hip-hugging jeans and a bright pink crop-top, Ryo-ohki ran a hair through red dye-streaked hair and marched to a cabinet to fix herself a bowl of cereal. Ignoring the shocked looks aimed her way, Ryo-ohki turned to face her partner wielding her spoon like a sword. "Once I finish eating, you and I are going to have a talk, _mom_, about all those orders you've been giving me." The cabbit's eyes narrowed. "Now that I'm a big girl, we're going to be partners for real this time. Got it?"

Washu couldn't help but giggle at the stunned expression on Ryoko's face.

"Congratulations dear, it's a rebelling teenager!"

Tigee86(It's me, I wrote it. Go me!)

It was a beautiful night, in London. The smog and the clouds had rolled back, giving all who cared to look a breath-taking view of the stars and the moon. On the roof of a certain secret vampire hunting organization, the No Life King allowed himself a simple enjoyment of the night sky. It was a rare moment he felt anything approaching peacefulness, but even he could not fight every moment. As the near full moon rose high in the sky, Alucard's pleasure took a visceral turn. The moon shined red to his eyes, a clear sign that he would soon be knee deep in bloodshed and chaos. The nosferatu grinned. It truly was a good day.

Watching the moon, his back to the east, Alucard neither sensed nor saw the silent red beam before it struck him. The No Life King, however, was perfectly aware that his body was changing…against his will…and he could not change back!

The problem was quickly identified. His form was now living, unable to channel his immense vampiric powers. As Alucard took in his new, harmless, rabbit-like body, his mind entered a state that made psychotic rage look like a child's temper tantrum.

'_A slaughter will not be enough. There will be a _GENOCIDE_ for this indignity!_'

Omake by Lord Dragon Claw

At the bar Soun and Genma went to...

"NO! Kasumi please stop punishing me!" whimpered the long-haired man.

"... You okay, Soun?" inquired the bald man.

"I BEG FOR FORGIVENESS!" screamed Soun, his eyes unfocused and dilating.

"Hey pal, what's wrong with him?"

"Must be post-traumatic stress or something..."

Genma scratched the back of his head, wondering how he was going to explain what had happened to the other bar patrons.


	7. 7, or Clash of the Moé

**Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah!**

**Disclaimer**: To Whom it May Concern: I, the Great and Powerful Tigee, am unable to make it to the declaiming of the following intellectual properties; Ranma ½, Tenchi Muyo, Sailor Moon, as well as any various other main-stream or counter culture references that may be made(Especially a certain children's cartoon). I WOULD be here, but I have been imprisoned for not respecting Kytranis's story, Zero's Cabbit. To secure my release, I must shamelessly pug this story…plus serve some hard time. I look forward to harassing you all in chapter 8. Good bye for now.

**Intro**: Yee-ha! 7 is loose and free-ranging! No cliffhangers, but close. Still, this one is even longer then the last! If I can keep this up you guys will be getting chapters of some real substance soon. Of course, I've probably just jinxed myself, but it's all cool. Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah is going strong as long as life still beats in the heart of Public Interest. If it dies, then you all get to meet his cousin, Public Nuisance. Just joking, but not really. I'm writing this last second before shipping it out for cleaning by my awesome beta, the good Doc Flareon, so I'm pumped. Here's hoping I win that Academy Award, eh?

"Normal Speech"

'_Inner Thoughts'_

^Telepathy^

#Foreign Languages#

"Speech by Empowered Beings" a.k.a. Speaking spirits, kami, demons, and humans emitting power at high levels.

* * *

**Earth - 531, 796,710.95 R.5/TenMu-AU/C**

**Tendo Dojo, Nerima, Tokyo, Japan**

Mere hours after Nabiki and Neko encounter Sasuke…

The evening was still young when Ranma made a decision. What was it he decided you ask? Quite simply, Ranma realized that he was being reactive instead of proactive. Every other time Nerima and it's inhabitants had dumped on him, he'd charged headfirst into the problem and beaten a solution out of it, one way or another. His bold plan this time? Wait for Pig Boy to show up and then demand/pummel information out of him. Shaking his furry head, Ranma crept down the second story hallway of the house, eyes and ears peeled for the father's or Happosai. At dinner, the much put-upon martial artist had noted that the Old Freak wasn't there. He hadn't been at the table in days, actually. That simple observation had turned over in his brain a few times before it dawned on him that if the Freak wasn't here, then he wasn't guarding his stash. His sizeable stash of old manuals, ancient scrolls, and exotic magical items. Normally, everyone avoided the room like the plague(1), but Ranma _was_ 'just a rabbit' right now. He could slip in, look for information on his newest curse, maybe even a cure, and no one would raise a stink about it! Stopping in front of the guest room that Happosai inhabited, Ranma couldn't help giving himself a mental pat on the back over the simplistic cunning of his plan. '_Now all I have to do open the door and…and…_'

Slowly, the cabbit looked up at the sliding door's handle. The ordinary, plain wooden handle…three feet off the floor. '_Oh Kami damnit! I actually come up with a working plan of my own and I'm freaking stopped by a lack of hands! This is just great, wonderful even!_' Lost in his sarcasm, Ranma didn't hear the footsteps approaching him until the owner's feet were on either side of him. '_Crap, now what. Wait, is that the hem of a dress?_'

"Neko-kun, how did you know I was going to clean grandfather's room next?" The gentle young woman's question was forgotten as her little Neko-kun looked up at her shiny eyes and mewed cutely. Giggling, Kasumi scooped up her pet and slid Happosai's door open. "We shouldn't be too long Neko-kun. Grandfather told me last week that he was going to the beach for his health. A bit of dusting, a little vacuuming and we're done."

"Miyah, mi-yah!" '_Shoot, I need more time then that._'

Trying not to catch Kasumi's eye, Ranma began hopping through the room, looking for Happosai's hiding places. Happily, the aged grandmaster hadn't put much effort into hiding his belongings. With his reputation, nobody but the desperate was even going to try to steal him. Carefully, Ranma nudged the top off of the cardboard box in Happosai's closet. Putting his forelegs on the rim of the box, he looked in. A heaped mess of random items greeted him, lacking any sort of organization. Sighing, Ranma pondered on how to best go about this. The biggest problems stemmed from two facts. One, that damnable lack of hands, and two, he had no real clue what he was looking for. Magic wasn't his forte, and even if he found what he was looking for, he probably wouldn't recognize it. Frowning, Ranma reached in the box with a paw shuffle things about a bit, hoping for inspiration. He was still moving things around when he was lifted off the ground.

"What are you doing, Neko-kun? Did you find something interesting?" Spotting the box with 'Happy's Treasure' emblazoned on the side, Kasumi frowned a bit. Although she treated grandfather Happosai as well as any one else in the house, she found many of his habits and actions to be…not nice. Sometimes he could even be downright naughty. Shaking her head, Kasumi put the lid back on and cuddled her rabbit closer. "You shouldn't play with grandfather's things Neko. You might get hurt." As Kasumi stepped out of the room with Neko in hand, the transformed martial artist wished that he could come back later on his own. '_Stupid wooden door, stupid lack of thumbs, stupid crazy space-women with cabbit radar._'

That had been a hour or two ago. With everyone else in the house asleep, Ranma ended up in the TV room, watching movies. He'd already gotten some katas in, but if he tried anything fancy, he'd wake someone up, which would be bad. Huffing, the cabbit's attention wandered away from the zombie movie to how to best work his way through the Old Freak's collection. His best bet right now was getting somebody to help him, but he couldn't figure out how to get them to do it without revealing his status. Ranma was toying with idea of bribing the creepy old man who ran the curio shop in town for help when something pinged on his senses. Twitching his whiskers, the former gender-changer swiveled his head around, trying to pin down what exactly had sent him off. It had definitely gotten to his cabbit senses more, but he had the feeling that he would have felt it very distantly as a human too. The feeling was weird…but kind of nice too. It felt, it felt like someone was calling him. Hopping off the table, Ranma headed outside. This required a look see.

* * *

Still and silent, Cologne waited patiently to see if her latest theory about the beast was correct. Situated in the center of one of Nerima's parks was a small shrine. Constructed in the local Japanese manner, complete with lit incense, the shrine was an attempt to draw out 'Neko'. If she was correct, then the offering would lure him out. The only complication would be if another forest spirit arrived. Such beings were not to be trifled with lightly. Still…

With a soft rustle, her target leapt out of the surrounding foliage. Eyes glinting, the Amazon matriarch watched as the black-furred creature investigated the shrine. He was very cautious, never getting closer then a few inches to it. Watching him sniff here and there, the Elder considered his actions, comparing them to the records of Amazon lore. The fact that he showed up suggested that he was in fact a forest spirit, but it wasn't conclusive proof. A grandmaster like herself or Happosai would have sensed the spiritual aspect of the ceremony she performed. Suppressing the urge to reach for her pipe, Cologne briefly considered attacking him right here. She'd seen him fighting this afternoon and she suspected that she could take him. She held back though. If he was a forest spirit, even if she won, she would lose. Such creatures tended to be spiteful in death, and would likely curse her with his dying breath. Cologne was dragged from her thoughts by the sound of a loud crash. Looking up from where her head had dropped in thought, the elderly Amazon was shocked to see Neko destroying the shrine, one of the Spirit Wards she had attached to the shrine clinging to his back. Letting out a yowl, the rabbit-like animal flexed backwards and ripped the Ward off of himself. That done, he quickly disappeared into the bushes without another sound.

#What in the infinite Hells was that about!#

* * *

Hidden in the strictly maintained shrubs of the park, Ranma snickered, watching Cologne freak out. As a martial artist, she was no doubt one of the best in the world, but he suspected that it had been many years since she last went hunting. Following that odd ping, Ranma had made his way across several streets before arriving at the park. Once there, he had quickly zeroed in on the source. Curious about what a shrine was doing here and why it was setting him off, Ranma had given it as close as an inspection as he dared. While circling around it, the wind had shifted, and the scent of an older female that smelled of musty scrolls and pleasant spices had drifted to him on the wind. He soon matched it with a faint scent coming off the shrine. Feeling amused, he destroyed the shrine to mock Cologne and faked a bit of pain with one the Spirit Wards. To him, they were as effective as ordinary paper, but if that was what she relied on when and if she decided to attack him, that was just a little bit of the Saotome cunning at work! Cackling silently, Ranma slipped off into the night. Now, if he could just do something similar with the Old Freak…

* * *

In the early morning light, Nerima looked quite peaceful. Nothing at all like the chaos strewn, martial arts torn district it normally did. That's not to say that all signs of the infamous district's madness were hidden. Down on one of the backstreets Kodachi Kuno, heiress of the notorious Kuno clan, skipped along her merry way. Humming softly and twirling a gymnastic ribbon, if you didn't know her personally or by reputation you would have thought her to be a normal, innocent girl with a strong love of gymnastics. Still, appearances can be very deceiving, as Ranma himself could attest right now. Still skipping along, Kodachi glanced down at the slip of paper held in her left hand. Before setting out this morning, she had gotten directions from Sasuke. While she had never met the person she was currently heading out to see, Kodachi had seen her brother utilize his services several times. He was also the only one she knew of that was knowledgeable about what she wished to discuss. Making a final turn, Kodachi strode up to an unremarkable 2-story house. Ignoring the door, Kodachi headed around to the back, making a lazy leap into the lone decorative tree in the backyard. From her new perch Kodachi peered into the windows. Quickly identifying the correct room by the black curtains, the Black Rose opened the window and slid inside. Allowing her gaze to sweep over the cluttered room, packed with mystical paraphernalia, Kodachi sniffed derisively.

"Such low-born foolishness. How I wish I did not require the services of this twit." Sighing, the mad heiress moved to the bed, where the individual she'd come to speak with slept. Her hand paused inches away though, the wastebasket at the bedside catching her attention. Turning green, Kodachi backed away.

"How disgusting! How utterly, completely disgusting!" Shivering, Kodachi reconsidered touching the slumbering person. After a moment of consideration, she grabbed a book from the nearby desk and threw it at the bed. When it landed with a loud smacking of hard leather and flesh, Kodachi smirked. The muffled cursing was amusing, even more so when the occupants flailing led to him falling out of the bed with a loud crash.

"What's going on? Who's there!" Blearily, a pale-skinned young man managed to poke his head out the tangle of blankets and look around. "Who threw that book, I'll…I'll curse you!" Kodachi covered her mouth with one of her deceptively delicate hands.

"Oh-ho Ho ho! Curse me? I doubt you have the power to, as they say, curse your way out of a paper bag!" The young man Kodachi was insulting somehow managed to pale even further then he already was.

"K-k-Kodachi Kuno! What are you doing here! I haven't done anything to you!" Kodachi's eyes narrowed dangerously, her ribbon twitching slightly.

"Of course you haven't, fool. If you had, I would not have bothered to rouse you from your slumber. I would have simply dealt with you." He shivered at the tone of her comment. "No. I have need of your, ugh, expertise. You'll be happy to assist me in anyway I need, won't you Gosunkugi?" Shaking, Hikaru Gosunkugi nodded very rapidly. He simply didn't have the spine to say no to someone as crazy-scary as Kodachi the Black Rose.

Kodachi smiled cruelly. "Very good servant. For your first task, I wish to know all that you know of something called a 'familiar'. Prepare yourself for a busy day, for we have much to do!"

* * *

Despite his late night fun, Ranma managed to awake early enough in the morning to avoid Kasumi carrying him into the bath again. It took hiding under a couch but he really didn't want to give Akane more excuses to pummel him if everyone found out about his 'furry little adventure'. Not that Akane really needed any excuse to mallet him but he was starting to feel that he shouldn't tolerate her pervert smashing anymore. Oh sure, he'd earn more then a few of those beatings, but just as many of them he hadn't. Frowning, Ranma considered just what exactly he was going to do about that. Eventually, he just shrugged it away for now. It was one of those things that he could work on later. Waiting in the kitchen was boring, but much safer, so he stayed there until Kasumi showed up. After quick but lavish petting session, the domestic young woman got to work on breakfast while Ranma decided to pass the time with some ki exercises. He'd been getting some fun ideas lately in this form, things that he would have never thought of as his normal self. He needed to be sure he could pull it off though.

"Breakfast!"

Shaking himself out of his light trance Ranma hopped off the counter and after Kasumi. Jumping on the table, Ranma was greeted by the sight of his so-called business partner looking contemplative. He was curious, but it could be dealt with later. After a glance to make sure that Genma wasn't feeling froggy enough to try anything, Ranma dug in to his vegetable platter. It wasn't till towards the end of the meal that Nabiki joined the conversation. "Kasumi, I'd like to take Neko to school with me again. I hope you don't mind." Everyone looked up at her with various, and shocked, expressions. Ranma was the least surprised.

'_I guess she was so out of it because she was working on another excuse for today. Wonder what she came up with._'

Kasumi was actually a little bit hurt at the suggestion. She'd let Nabiki take Neko for the day yesterday as a sign of her trust for her little sister and to keep him from hearing the harsh talking to that she'd given her father. But taking her baby away from her again? That seemed so cruel. Nabiki never started a fight or argument that she thought she couldn't win though, and immediately forged ahead. "I know you might be a bit worried about Separation Anxiety big Sis, but think about it. Isn't it best for Neko to get out of the house and into new and simulating environments? How is he going to grow as a rabbit if he doesn't go out into the world?"

Nabiki was quite proud of herself at the moment. She had managed to get through that entire statement with a straight face. Grow as a rabbit, as if something like that made any sense. Happily, Kasumi was naïve enough for her spiel to work. It took a little repetition and focus to ignore the rest of the family's incredulous faces but Kasumi reluctantly agreed. Feeling a bit sorry for Kasumi, who was obviously unhappy with her own decision, Ranma nuzzled against her hand to cheer her up a bit. Smiling, and feeling a little better, Kasumi pulled him into a cuddle session where he spent the rest of the meal.

* * *

"Halt, Nabiki Tendo! I cannot allow you to pass with that demon upon your shoulder."

"And it started out as such a nice day…" Nabiki muttered, coming to a stop just outside the grounds of Furinkan. Lined up just _inside_ the school grounds was the Kendo club, lead by the head moron himself. Kuno was garbed in one of his finest uniforms and worryingly, a live katana in his hands. Sighing, Nabiki wondered how or why he'd gone to real steel. The only other time Tatewaki had done that was at The Wedding. '_Whatever Kuno-baby's problem, I don't have time for it. Class starts soon and I still have to get all of Hinako's materials ready._' Wasn't it lucky that she had options to deal with idiots? "Neko, be a dear and take care of this for me."

^For me? You shouldn't have.^ Quirking an eyebrow at the comment, the former Ice Queen of Furinkan watched as Neko leapt off of her shoulder and towards the Kendo club. Out of habit, Ranma almost charged straight at them.

Almost.

Recalling his new stature/form at the last moment, the man-turned-cabbit slid to a halt on the ground just a few feet from Kuno who was puffing himself and declaring that he would soon smite the foul demon beast that would defile the holy grounds of Furinkan high. If you were to believe the sword-waving blowhard, this was all somehow a plot of the Sorcerer Saotome…even though Ranma hadn't been seen in weeks(so far as anyone knew). Watching one of his more persistent annoyances loudly proclaim him the enemy of all things good and pure, Ranma decided it was too early in the morning for that much Stupid.

Kuno had really hit his stride with pontification this morning, and had his eyes cast to the heavens in the fervor of his speech. He was so caught up in his own words that he failed to note his slightly wiser fellow club members flee from his side. "…truly, the vengeance of the Heavens is slow, but sure! No matter the fiends he calls forth and the damsels he snares, the foul Sorcerer shall one day be struck down by…!"

_ZzAAPPP!_

Looking entirely too smug and relaxed, Nabiki walked right in, not even pausing for Neko. The cabbit didn't care much, easily making the leap to her shoulder and anchoring there with ki. Even if she didn't stop, Nabiki did give Kuno an amused look as she moved past him. "Don't worry Kuno-baby, I'm sure the twitching will stop eventually. You might want to change your clothes before you come to class though. You smell suspiciously like you had an accident in your underwear." Biting back a giggle fit, because Nabiki Tendo did _not_ giggle, she continued to her first class. Hinako got a little bouncy without someone to keep an eye on her, and Nabiki didn't want to have to resort yesterday's work.

* * *

**Earth - 531, 796,710.95 R.5/TenMu-AU/C**

Cherry Hill Shrine, Juuban, Tokyo, Japan

Mid-morning that day…

When Rei woke up that morning, it was with a mild nervous energy. As Sailor Mars these past months, she had encountered many different foes, battled mind-bogglingly powerful enemies, but what was to take place this afternoon put butterflies in her stomach. From what her grandfather had told her, the demon they were going to exorcise wasn't even that powerful, but the fact was that she wasn't going to do this as the mighty and mysterious Sailor Mars, the Pretty Soldier of Juuban, but as Rei Hino, shrine priestess of the Hino family. She was nervous and giddy all at the same time. The fact that she was worked up did not go unnoticed. With a fond smile her grandfather had her spend a few hours that morning meditating in preparation of the exorcism that afternoon. He, meanwhile, took the time to gather the appropriate tools as well as make a quick run to Rei's school to have her excused for the day. Unbeknownst to him, several other teenaged girls were securing their own departure from school that day. Once everything was prepared, the elder shrine keeper collected his tools and his granddaughter and together they set out for Nerima via the train. After arriving, the two spiritualists got directions to the Tendo dojo. While getting directions, they were asked several times why they were going to the dojo. It was a little shocking that no one seemed surprised that they were to do an exorcism at the dojo. Deciding this was an omen of sorts, grandfather and granddaughter sped to the dojo.

"Welcome to the Tendo dojo. Is there something I can do for you?" Bring greeted at the door by a cheerful young woman with a strong and pure aura put the two guests just a little at ease. Perhaps the old woman who came to the shrine was exaggerating a little bit about the strength and terror of the demon? Offering his most charming smile for this radiant young woman, the old priest held out his hand.

"My dear, I'm the caretaker of the Cherry Hill Shrine in Juuban, father Hino. This little lady is my granddaughter Rei. I'm sorry to intrude, but may we come in to speak with you about something important?" The young woman tilted her head, considering the request before stepping back and to one side.

"I'm Kasumi Tendo, and please, come in." Following miss Tendo inside, the two spiritualists were shown to a table and served tea. Once everyone was settled, Kasumi primly folded her hands and waited for the shrine keeper to speak up. Clearing his throat, Rei's grandfather plunged right into the thick of things.

"Just yesterday, an elderly woman approached me and informed me that a demon had taken up residence in your home." Their host blinked.

"She didn't happen to have white hair and a staff longer then herself and called the demon Happosai?"

The priest blinked. "Err, no. She was tiny, but with her hair in a bun. She didn't name the demon, but she gave me this picture." Reaching into his shirt, the elderly priest produced a creased piece of paper which he unfolded and show to the women. There was a moment of silence, and then…

"Grandfather! Couldn't you get a better drawing then that!" That in question was a very poorly drawn black blob with white streaks that vaguely resembled fangs and red splotches in the main body. It looked like nothing so much a round splatter of two colors.

"Oh my…It's nice?" The compliment was offered very hesitantly, and the priest had enough sense to put the drawing away sheepishly.

"Well, it seemed clearer back at the shrine. I don't suppose you now anything about this demon, young lady?" Rei sighed in frustration when Kasumi shook her head. Rei loved her grandfather but the man could be so irritating some times. No stranger to tense situations, Kasumi continued to think, quickly coming up with the simplest solution.

"If you'd like, I could give you directions to my sister's high school. Nabiki-chan is a very clever girl. If anyone would know about this demon you're looking for, she would." Kasumi's nose crinkled a little. "Although you may have to convince her a bit. She likes to play little games with money. It's very silly." Relieved to have some kind of lead on the demon, Rei accepted the offered directions and quickly bullied her grandfather into leaving with her rather then stay and moon over the polite and beautiful girl.

'_I mean really, at his age he ought to have _some _self-control but Noooo! It's just not right watching a dirty old priest flirt with girls his granddaughter could have gone to high school with._'

* * *

'_Even as a cabbit, I can't get away from water, can I?_'

Shaking himself like a dog Ranma attempted to dry himself off. His day up until a little bit ago had been utterly dull and boring. Even with copious amounts of petting by Nabiki, who was equally bored, the only thing that got him through the day was more ki exercises. When the bell finally rang for lunch Ranma had gotten a little too excited and raced to the door. In his haste he'd gotten too close to the punishment buckets(2) and gotten splashed. It must have been from his dormant curse. Frustrated by the splashing and hungry, Ranma didn't notice his color change, growing extra red highlights. He was joined just a few minutes into lunch by an amused Nabiki, just in time to hear his complaints trail off. Chuckling, Nabiki leaned down and picked up Neko, deciding to let him ride on her shoulder despite still being damp. The middle Tendo daughter made sure to remember the rabbit creature's color change. It could be an important hint when she found something to look him up in.

Momentarily drifting off into thoughts of where to find such material, Nabiki only noticed her business partner's tenseness when he growled. Surprised, she flinched before turning to face him. "What? What is it?"

^There's something out there. It feels weird, and oppressive. It's like something is lurking out there, waiting to smother me. I REALLY don't like it. I don't like it at all…^

* * *

"How much longer is this going to take? We've been following Rei around all day!" Ami sighed heavily as Usagi asked the same question…for the 47th time today. '_Somehow, being the loyal handmaiden of a teenaged princess is far less glamorous then all the fairy tales make it seem._'

"Come on Usagi, we're helping Rei, remember?"

Minako chipped in to support her fellow boy-hungry Senshi. "Come on Usagi, if nothing else, we are out of school for the day, right?" The shorter blonde's face brightened up. Then Minako giggled gleefully. "Besides, think of all the hunks we saw today! There are some really good looking guys here!" Ami silently pleaded for the strength to endure as her three friends began chatting inanely. Treating their voices as white noise, Ami focused on the Mercury Computer, setting up some scanning algorithms. It took just a few minutes for her to spot the fact the air here in Nerima was highly charged with life energy. Remarkably so, in fact. Pleased to find an interesting puzzle to work on while they waited for Rei to locate the demon, Ami entered the scan results into the Mercury Computer's archives and began personally examining this phenomena.

"Oohh…"

Blinking, Ami lifted her head from the Computer. Had Usagi just…?

"Oooh!"

"Usagi, what's wrong?" Concerned now, Ami turned to face her princess like Makoto and Minako. Recalling some of her mother's work stories from the hospital, Usagi was showing signs of nausea; pale complexion, hitched breathe, and a slightly glassy look in her eyes.

"I…I don't feel so good. I'm all dizzy and I feel like I'm going to throw up." Looks were exchanged. Ami held out the Mercury Computer and had it scan Usagi. Moments later, it beeped to announce the results. Frowning, the bookish young woman looked over the results and did not like what she found.

"Usagi, there's an energy field here in Nerima. For the most part, this energy field is made of life energy. I'm not sure where it comes from, but it doesn't hurt you. Instead, it strengthens your own energy."

Makoto frowned. "That should be good right? So why is Usagi feeling sick?"

"Because, the energy field is only _mostly_ made of life energy. There's other forms of energy in its make up. Unfortunately, one of those energies is diametrically opposed to the energy that empowers the Serenity family. We use the same energy, but it's more focused in Usagi, which is why she's sick. It seems localized, so once we are out of it, she'll be fine. You hear that Usagi?" The Moon princess smiled and nodded, not trusting herself to talk right now. Turning back around, Ami lead the rest of the girls to where Rei had gone to while they talked, tracking the Fire Senshi with the Computer. Noting that they had come to a school, Ami was distracted by the sound of the Mercury Computer pinging. The Ice Senshi eyes widened. "It's there, the energy that's making Usagi sick is coming from that school."

"All right!" Minako cheered. "Let's get rid of that energy thing so Usagi isn't sick anymore!"

Following Ami's lead again, the Inner Senshi leapt over the privacy wall around the school, which had prevented Rei and her grandfather from entering. Setting up a radar program on her Computer's attached visor, Ami and the others snuck across the grounds, hiding from the students. Peeking around a wall of wash stations, the Senshi looked over the student population. Surprisingly, it was Usagi who spotted their target first. Coming down the main path was a short-haired brunette with a black and red rabbit sitting on her shoulder. Nudging her friends, the blonde pointed her out and mouthed 'what about her?' A quick scan confirmed the princess's intuition. "It's coming from her." Ami whispered.

"From her? How can she be giving off something that makes Sailor Moon sick?"

Ami's lips pursed. "I can only think of one thing that would do that…" There were some gasps as the other girls caught on. Usagi was the future Queen of the world, bringer of Order and Peace. If it was making her sick…

Then it was evil, and they would get rid of it, and her.

* * *

"In the name of Peace, Love, and Justice, we the Soldier Senshi shall punish you!"

Every Furinkan student in the yard gawked as one of Tokyo's urban legends came to life in front of them. Posing and making a rambling speech about Love and Justice, the Sailor Senshi began to resemble a certain individual that they were all unhappily familiar with. Chills swept the onlookers as the magical girls reminded them more and more of Kuno as they continued to speak. Then, they cinched it with a solid spread-legged stance, magical foci/wands/hands held up high.

"Prepare to be purified, evil witch!"

Nabiki's eyes nearly popped out of her head as the wands came down and were aimed at her, and nobody else.

"Oh, _SHIT_!"

Instantly there was a mad scramble as everyone cleared out of the way. The local martial artists tended to go a little overboard but with them the danger zone was just a short distance around the fight. With magical girls, who knew where the attack was going to land? Sweating nervously, Nabiki backed away hands held up defensively. "Come on! Me, a witch? That's ridiculous! I don't even know any magic!"

Sailor Moon's mouth opened to say something, but it came out as a nonsensical gurgle. The blue-skirted Sailor Mercury stepped in as Nabiki blinked. "Your lies won't save you witch! My Mercury Computer tracked your sickening energy from blocks away. Even now, it points straight at you!"

Nabiki stuttered for what was probably the first time in her life. "T-that's not possible! I don't have any martial arts or mystical training! I'm just a normal girl! The closest thing I have to something like that is…is…" Ever so slowly, Nabiki's head swiveled to face Neko on her shoulder. The black-and-red beast was looking very nervous. "Oh, you son of a _bitch_!" The TA whispered.

^Don't blame this on me, how was I supposed to know they followed me to Nerima!^ The moment he 'spoke' it, Ranma knew he had screwed himself. '_Man, I couldn't have picked a worse time to put my foot in my mouth._'

"Followed you? FOLLOWED YOU!" Nabiki screeched, "You ran into magical girls and then came to our house! What kind of-!" Nabiki's rant was cut short as the Senshi decided to start the fight.

"Jupiter Thunder Crash!" On her own, that single attack would have been the end of Nabiki. Ranma, however, easily sensed the power build-up and reacted to keep the (relatively) innocent young woman safe. Reaching out with a paw, Ranma hit a pressure point on Nabiki's back that created a momentary weakness in her legs and dropped her on the ground in time let the lightning bolt fly safely overhead. Recalling that the magical girls that he'd meet in Juuban could hear his telepathy, Ranma decided to give diplomacy a shot.

^Hey, watch where you're throwing those! You're going to hurt someone.^ Sadly, Ranma was not known for his diplomatic skills.

"That's the point!" Quipped the taller of the two blondes. "Venus Love and Beauty Shock!"

'_This is going to hurt._' Pumping his body full of ki, Ranma turned to put his back paws against Nabiki's hip and kicked. Screaming, the woman flailed helplessly as she flew through the air. Nabiki landed behind a fountain as the magical attack slammed into Ranma.

_BOOM!_

Tumbling along the ground, Ranma was stricken with a strong feeling of sickness. It felt like he was going to vomit up a lung! Coming to jarring stop at the base of a trash can, the cabbit tried to make the world hold still.

"Venus Love and Beauty Shock!"

"Jupiter Thunder Crash!"

Ranma's danger senses screamed at him to move now. Jumping blindly, the cabbit narrowly missed a tree but crashed to the ground safe and out of sight. Forcing himself to move through the twisting in his stomach, Ranma crawled into the bushes while calling up the necessary ki for the Thieves Cloak. He did _not_ want to get hit by another one of those.

A little distance away Ami rubbed her leader's back, trying to soothe her upset stomach. It had gotten worse since they'd jumped out in the open, and so far seemed to be preventing Moon princess joining the fight. The Ice Senshi had stayed back with her in case the witch or her pet rabbit tried to ambush Usagi. Watching Makoto and Minako stalk it, Ami couldn't wonder what self-respecting evil witch used a rabbit as a minion. What could a rabbit monster even do? Eat the world's supply of carrots? As soon as she thought it though, Ami shook it away. '_Never underestimate the enemy._'

Back behind the fountain, and mostly forgotten for the moment, Nabiki stared in shock as the quartet of magical girls began searching for Neko , avoiding stepping into the bushes themselves. Her usually sharp mind didn't quite grasp the full situation, as her thoughts had focused on a simple fact; these girls had just tried to kill her. A life-time in Nerima had made her quite used to fights of all degrees from simple spars to the sort of endless die-hard grudge matches that Ryoga and Ranma fought all the time. Yet all of that exposure to controlled violence had done nothing to prepare her for a direct and serious attempt on her life. Heck, the only reason she was alive now was because the Neko had forced her to drop at the last moment. The girl's brain jump-started as her some-what vindictive nature latched onto that thought. Magical girls had followed him to Nerima. Said magical girls tried to kill her because she was close enough to Neko that they assumed she was the source of whatever energy they were angry about was coming from her. That meant that these girls didn't know what they doing, if they made that kind of mistake. Neko had saved her from their stupidity and his own mistake. Considering that he was out there risking own hide to keep the obviously simple-minded wanna-be murders away from her, Nabiki decided to mark him as paid up for this little fiasco. That, however, meant that someone else owed her, and owed her big.

'_Those magic-slinging sluts are going to pay for this until they _bleed!' Caught up in the single greatest moment of rage to ever break through her preference for cold logic, Nabiki failed to note the loose debris around her being pushed away by some unseen force.

* * *

Invisible and crawling through the bushes on his belly, Ranma moved to an advantageous position, half listening to the two girls pursuing him chatter. They seemed to be a bit dubious about his strength, but they were utterly convinced that he was in fact sort of demon minion under Nabiki's control. Wondering briefly why these girls weren't attacking Nabiki if she was 'the mistress', the martial artist began sending ki to the jewel on his forehead. He was making a great deal of progress on his new, TV inspired techniques, but working through the jewel made them easier for now. Lining up the first shot, he wondered why that was.

When Makoto and Minako had started the earlier attack, the two sailor-suited defenders of Love and Justice had expected the encounter to go the way they always did. One side attacks, the other side counter-attacks. The Senshi rain magic on the enemy, the enemy reveals some sort of strange or bizarre power that they use to fight, forcing them to come up some way of dealing this magical oddity. Watching their witch opponent get tossed screaming and terrified across the school quad while her minion disappeared into the foliage the other way was new and rather unsettling for the girls, whose collective combat experience did not equal just one of their ages. So here they were, poking at bushes looking for a small demon while…

Makoto paled, "Uh, Venus, if we're here, and Moon and Mercury over there," She waved in the direction of their friends, "then who's looking for the witch?" Minako opened her mouth to answer, then closed it recalling that Rei wasn't with them right now.

"Oh."

"Miyah!" The two Senshi turned in time for Makoto to catch a red beam of energy in the face. With a loud boom Sailor Jupiter was sent flying.

"Jupiter!" Minako cried out. Hoping that her friend would be all right Venus launched a Love and Beauty Shock attack in the direction that the red light had come from. Off to her right the bushes rustled rapidly as something ran through them. Squeaking in fright Minako leapt away from the bushes as the witch's minion jumped out and attacked her with it's feet. Taking a glancing blow to the hip, Venus decided to go with a closer range attack to defend herself and Jupiter, who she'd landed next to.

"Venus Love-Me Chain!" About to attack the blonde again, the rabbit-creature swerved unexpectedly to dodge the chain.

"Jupiter Thunder Crash!" Leaping to avoiding the lightning bolt, the rabbit-thing bounced off a tree branch and jumped back into open over Jupiter and Venus.

"Miyah, mya yah!" ^Cabbit-Fu; Red Rain!^ Surprised by the masculine voice suddenly booming inside their heads, neither girl managed to dodged as the demon, now identified as a cabbit, spun mid-air and fired dozens of short bursts of that red light.

"Ahhh!" "Ouch!" Smaller, this attack didn't hurt as much but the multiple stinging attacks was disorienting and bought time for Ranma to land safely.

"Neko! Beat those bitches asses red! Nobody screws with me and gets away with it!"

The present Senshi were reminded of the witch's presence when she stood up to yell.

"Moon Tiara!" Now aware of what was going on Nabiki successfully dived out of the boomerang like attack, though it pissed her off even more. Ami had intended to follow up her princess's attack but the single action nearly made the blonde lose control of her stomach. Frowning, Ami decided to try something for her leader.

"Moon, call up more of your magic." Usagi turned a miserable look on her genius friend.

"But I thought the magic was what was making me sick Mercury. Won't more of it make me sicker?"

"Maybe, but if we don't try something, you won't be able to fight at all." Nodding, Usagi reached deeper into her transformation, sending to the next stage. Almost instantly, she started feeling better as the increased Moon magic chased away the chaos produced by Ranma's presence.

A short distance away the man turned cabbit was playing a painful game of tag with the Venus and Jupiter when the crushing, smothering sensation he'd felt earlier suddenly got a lot stronger. Shaking his head, Ranma tried to clear his vision, but it was no good. The sudden increase in that unpleasant pressure was making him see spots and blurring his sight. '_This is bad, all these attacks are bathing the area in so much magic it's getting harder to sense them by it. If I completely lose my sight, I'm in real trouble._' Flaring his aura helped push the feeling away, but he couldn't get rid of it entirely.(3)

^Nabiki, they're doing something to make hard for me to see. I need help!^

"What am I supposed to do?" Nabiki shouted back, scrambling for new cover in case they tried to track her by her voice. "I can't compete in this kind of fight!" And oh, that was a bitter pill to swallow right now, making her feel helpless, increasing her aggression towards the magical girls.

Stumbling, Ranma barely dodged Jupiter's next lightning bolt. It passed so close that he could feel his fur spiking up from the ambient electricity. Snarling, Ranma made a decision. With his increasingly impaired vision, he wouldn't be able to keep this up for much longer before his attackers managed to put him down…permanently.

^THAT'S IT!^ Ranma mental voice boomed like thunder, making Nabiki and Senshi cringe. ^Girls or not, no more mister nice cabbit!^ With that, the cabbit martial artist let his aura loose into full battle mode.

* * *

In the Cat Café Cologne fell off of her staff as a bizarre battle aura slammed into her senses. Because of it's unexpected strength, it took the matriarch a few moments to recognize it, but she wasn't an Amazon grandmistress for nothing. '_By the Goddess, is that Neko's aura? It's far greater then I expected!_' Grimly, she climbed back on her staff and stared in the direction that the aura was coming from. '_Figures. It's events like this that make me glad I didn't let Shampoo enroll with Son-in-law._'

Such was the seriousness of the situation that she didn't think of Ranma a second beyond that casual mention.

* * *

**Earth - 531, 796,710.95 R.5/TenMu-AU/C**

**Sub-Dimension 1179 - 'Washu's Laboratory'**

_WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!_

Startled by the suddenness of the alarm, Washu nearly ruined the experiment she was currently working on. Steadying her hands, Washu put down the beaker in her grip and called up her personal computer. Upon pressing the alert icon, lines of information began scrolling down the screen. '_High energy disturbance in Nerima? Hmm, looks like another one of those crazy human fighters lost his temper._' Washu allowed herself a small smirk, thinking of how the Jurian courts would react to the knowledge that there were humans that could harness their own form of internal energy as skillfully as any Jurian knight. '_Still…this one is big. Really big._' Frowning, the scientist called up her past recordings from that district and compared them. '_Well well, it seems another foreigner has showed up._' Cackling Washu entered a command on her console. Since their failure in tracking down Ranma, Washu had done a full overhaul on her remote stealth scanners. This seemed like the perfect moment to put them through their paces.

"Go my robotic minions, go forth and record! Let the field test begin! Mwa-hahahahaha!"

* * *

The jaws of the Senshi and the far-away observing students dropped as Neko rose into the air, a dense sapphire blue aura burning around him like a bonfire. Snickering, Nabiki patted herself on the back for making a deal with the 'cabbit' as she heard him call himself. It was obviously one of her better investments. Glancing over at the shell-shocked Senshi, Nabiki decided to take the opportunity to scare them off. Raising up from behind her cover, the brunette strolled out into the open, walking straight up to Neko. Drawing up close she had expected the air to be unpleasantly hot the way his aura looked but she was surprised to find that it was actually a little bit cooler then the surrounding air, and very tingly. Smirking, Nabiki reached out gathered the floating cabbit in her arms, petting him like one of those villains in the old American spy movies. "Well girls, I don't know about you, but I think it would a _marvelous_ time for you to leave." The Senshi might have been just high school girls, but they had more then enough grit to do their duty.

"As if we'd leave just because your pet starts floating and glowing like that movie The Exorcise, no matter how scary it was and how many nightmares I had that week!" The rest of the Senshi turned to look at their leader. Sailor Moon squirmed a bit under their stares. "What? It was really, really scary!"

"Yeaaah," Nabiki drawled "why don't you girls talk about that at home, far away from here?"

"No!" Venus shouted defiantly. "You're a witch, and as Soldiers of Justice we shall cleanse you!"

"Neko, if you would?"

^Ice Beam.^ The jewel on Neko's forehead flashed blue a half second before a whitish ray of light lashed out and struck Jupiter, creating a rapidly spreading coating of ice on her uniform.

"Venus, Moon, distract him while I help Jupiter!" Nodding, the two girls started raining attacks on the their opponents as Mercury knelt beside Jupiter and began bending her ice powers to help the thunder Senshi.

"Mercury, it's still spreading!"

"I know, I'm trying to stop it but the ice isn't responding to me! We need Mars to burn it away." Behind them, Nabiki ran in a zigzagged matter to stay away from the Senshi's attacks as the two Senshi bounced around trying to dodge Neko's attacks.

^Deep breath Nabiki.^ Neko 'whispered' to her before broadcasting the next sentence. ^Blinding Blizzard!^ Following his directions, Nabiki was amazed as the temperature around them dropped so fast it caused a wind storm thick with dust and frozen particles. ^Go left Nabiki, I can feel them move the other way through the blizzard.^ As she moved Ranma focused on the vision-blocking storm. With the area so filled with his aura, it wasn't hard for him to track their moves. '_He he, attack an untrained girl will you? Let this be a lesson to you…_' ^Ice B…!^

"Mars Flame Sniper!"

The blizzard blew apart from the flash of heat giving the Senshi a chance to clear their eyes and lungs. Running up to her friends, Mars struck a pose.

"Not so fast, evil doer! I, Sailor Mars, have come to assist in your defeat!"

* * *

Shortly before hand…

"How frustrating. I wonder if this gate slipped her mind?"

Rei sighed, sweeping a few loose strands of her hair in place behind her ear. "Maybe, or maybe she just wanted us to leave."

"Now now Rei, I'm such a polite and graceful young woman wouldn't stoop to tricks like that. I'm sure it just didn't occur to her that the gate would closed during the day."

"Yes grandfather."

It was then that both of the shrine keepers felt a strong spiritual presence come to life inside the school ground. With the ease of practice, Rei managed to keep her reaction hidden. Knowing that her friends were following her and they would almost certainly attempt to fight the demon, Rei put a slightly strained expression on her face before facing her grandfather. "Grandpa, I need to pee." Distracted by the increasingly powerful aura on the other side of the fence, he just waved at her.

"Alright dear, I'm going to wait here and try to get someone's attention."

Moving fast, the shrine priestess darted for the nearest alley. Double-checking to make sure that no one was looking, Rei transformed. Jumping up on one of the nearby roofs, Rei made her way to the school, leaping over the fence. Following the aura, Rei came out of cover face-to-face with a swirling ice storm in the middle of the school ground. Knowing that this wasn't Ami's work, Rei brought her hands up and aimed just a short distance in the storm.

"Mars Flame Sniper!"

Watching the storm collapse from the sudden flash of heat, Rei spotted her friends and ran in front of them to let them reorient themselves.

"Not so fast, evil doer! I, Sailor Mars, have come to assist in your defeat!"

"Mars!" Ami shouted, feeling relieved. "Jupiter needs help! The cabbit's ice attack still spreading." Not sure what a cabbit was, Rei fell back and was shocked to see her brunette friend encased in inch-thick ice from shoulder to mid-thigh. "Use a low-powered Flame Sniper on the ice. I haven't been able to do anything to it." Meanwhile, Venus and Moon recovered with Mercury stepped up, magic ready.

"Let's get this witch right now!" Venus called out, "Everyone together!"

^Move it Nabiki!^

"Moon Tiara Action!"

"Shine Aqua Illusion!"

"Venus Love and Beauty Shock!"

"Jupiter Thunder Crash!"

Nabiki's confidence vanished in a second as most of the Senshi launched attacks, even the still frozen Jupiter fired around her ally. In her arms she could feel Neko pumping out more of his aura, screaming at her mentally to run for cover. Facing four roaring attacks, Nabiki felt paralyzed, wondering what on earth could have possible made her step out in the open in the first place.

'_Oh yeah,_' she thought distractedly, '_I was mad because they had the gall to drag in their little spat. Their, pointless, stupid, useless, by-stander-killing…killing…Killing…KILLING!_'

Strained beyond her limits, Nabiki's mind snapped and she found a place that Ranma's psyche knew well.

Ranma's efforts to save Nabiki stopped in shock as the short-haired Tendo began absorbing his battle aura.

"M-Miyah?"

* * *

Sighing, the Inner Senshi watched as an explosion of dust prevented them from seeing the witch's demise. As necessary as destroying evil before it hurt the innocent was, the girls still felt shaken when ever they were forced to kill a villain that looked human. As much as the guilt stung them though, they wouldn't wish that feeling away. That guilt made them different from their enemies, let them know they were still people, not monsters.

"Come on." Rei murmured. "I've got to get back before grandpa realizes that I'm still 'in the bathroom'." Forming up to depart before the curious mobbed them like they did in Juuban, the girls retreat was halted by a deep groaning from inside the shrinking dust cloud. Staring at it, all five girls starting moving when the cloud bulged out towards them. A moment later the ruined remains of a wash station cratered the ground where they had just been. Quickly falling into a defensive line, the Sailors stood ready, magic incantations on their lips.

"Part." Like a theater curtain, the remaining dust slid to either side, offering a clear view of the speaker. Standing untouched and unsoiled was Nabiki, a still glowing Neko affixed to her right shoulder. Strangely, the cabbit wasn't projecting any sense of violence. Instead, he seemed to be asleep, or concentrating absolutely on something. Ignoring everyone else, Nabiki walked slowly towards the Senshi, every step and movement radiating confidence. Rei's short temper and sacred training let her recover first, and she immediately attacked, understanding this fight had just changed in some immense manner.

"Mars Flame Sniper!"

"Barrier."/^Barrier.^

The fire attack splashed uselessly on some transparent shield, but it served to stir the other girls from their stupor.

"What was THAT! What's going on? Mercury, please?" Ami just shook her head, having no clue what had just occurred.

"It's a joining."/^It's a joining.^ The sailor-suited girls felt a chill crawl up their spines at the strange audio/mental echo.

"I'm not strong enough on my own."/^She's not strong enough on her own.^ "When my gift awoke, I knew instinctively I needed help to control it."/^When her gift awoke, she knew instinctively that she needed help to control it.^ "When Neko began talking to me, he told me that I had a mind gift because that was the only way I could hear him."/^When I began talking to her, I told her that she had a mind gift because that was the only way she could hear me.^ "So far, it's working great, which is a shame for you."/^So far, it's working great, which is a shame for you.^ Neko didn't move an inch as Nabiki raised her hand and pointed at the Senshi. "Last chance to leave under your own power."/^Last chance to leave in one piece.^ The glow surround Neko wavered during that last sentence, but held together.

Drawing a deep breath, Sailor Moon prepared to give an inspiring, heart-felt speech, to lift the spirits of her audience. "As the sworn defenders of Love, Happiness and Peace, we cannot, will not ev-errkk!"

The impassioned princess didn't make it past 'will not' before Nabiki shoved with her open hand.

"Bye."/^Bye.^ Seized by the unseen forces currently at the Tendo girl's command, the Senshi were lifted off the ground and hurled through the air. Screaming in terror, the sailor-suited magical girls soon disappeared from sight, to land on the far side of Nerima, bruised, humiliated, but alive.

Paying no attention to the dead silence that hung over Furinkan, Nabiki turned and started walking away from the school, the glow around the cabbit fading slowly. Despite her peaceful departure, nobody moved or made a sound until Nabiki was long gone. Finally, the quiet was broken by a single, unfamiliar, female voice.

"If Akane's a martial artist, and Nabiki is a demon-binding witch…what's Kasumi?"

Nearly the entirety of the Furinkan student body and faculty would have nightmares for a week because of this single question.

* * *

**Earth - 531, 796,710.95 R.5/TenMu-AU/C**

**Sub-Dimension 1179 - 'Washu's Laboratory'**

Eyes glued to a monitor, Washu giggled manically as her fingers flew over her keyboard. This was to her, bar nothing, the greatest find to come from earth. A real live TK! In her time researching the galaxy Washu had found and studied many odd things. Things new, things old, things no other being in existence knew about. One of the most fascinating but poorly understood fields was psychics. Races like the Masu, who could manipulate their own molecular structure at will were far and by the exception in universe, rather then the rule. Most advance species could achieve a pale imitation through tech, but that's all it was; an imitation. Here was a girl who could things with her mind like nothing Washu had ever recorded. Granted, the scientist thought to herself, that naughty cabbit seemed to be aiding her is some way, but this Nabiki girl had clearly admitted to it being _her_ gift. This, the tiny genius grinned, begged for a personal visit.

"Too bad Kiyone on a patrol with Mihoshi. She would have loved to have a chance to talk to Ranma. Or Neko, whatever. Probably for the best though. Somehow, I don't think little miss 'Get Lost' feels like sharing any time soon…"

* * *

1.) Kasumi being the sole exception. Someone has to keep the place clean right?

2.) Those buckets you see people holding in the hallways when they're in trouble.

3.) Ranma is a much better fighter the Senshi but in terms of raw power Usagi has him beat hands down. He can't just bull his way through that kind of presence.

4.) TK is short for Telekinetic.

* * *

**Author's Note**: Ta-da! Behold chapter 7, for it is good! (I hope.)

Some of you might have noted that this took longer then expected. In response to that, all I can say is that I've never done a fight scene before. If any of you have advice on how I could improve my fight choreography, please please please give it to me! Even I'm not completely happy with how it came out so silted and ridged rather then flowing and breathe-taking but I wasn't getting any better no matter how many times I rewrote it. It's only thanks to Doc Flareon, my beta, that it came out as well as it did, so thank you. As a heads up, will be very tightly knit with this, as it wraps a few things before the plot takes off near the end of it. Now, for the preemptive A part of Q and A.

I didn't reference Pokémon as much as I thought I would. Mostly because the first time I roughed it out, I couldn't really see Nabiki acting in that kind of manner. Ranma, sure, he does a lot of odd things when he gets motivated. But Nabiki, standing there shouting, 'Go Neko, use Scratch attack!'? …No, couldn't see it.

You _probably_ won't be seeing a lot of Nabiki or Ranma in the next chapter, and they almost certainly won't be taking much actions but that's ok.

Everyone else in town is s!^#ing bricks, though.

I'm almost certain I've screwed the pooch on the Sailor Senshi's attacks, but Wiki isn't great for details it seems. If someone could send me the address to a comprehensive site for Sailor Moon/allies abilities, that would be very nice. There _will_ be a round two and the Inner girls will _not_ be playing nice this time. Look forward to it.

Nabiki and Ranma are NOT bonded. What happened was a 'fluke' I wrote because I wanted to start her ability to not get crushed like a bug in the coming chapters. Plus, it will have some effect on the plot later. Before anyone flames me, that was most certainly not all Nabiki. What happened will be explained, but you'll have to wait to 8. The explanation causes trouble in the story, and I don't want to give away all the fun.

And finally, after his three chapter service, 'Manically Yours' is going on to a well deserved retirement. His apprentice, Theoretically Somebody's, will be taking over his duties. Goodbye Manically, see hello to the nice gentlemen in white coats for me(They miss me sometimes).

Theoretically Yours,

Tigee86.

* * *

And now, some Omake…

Concept by Norlan4u, written by Tigee86.

Mood low, the Inner Senshi stumbled back home, Rei barely remembering to go back to her grandfather. The shrine maiden barely escaped trouble with the older man, and only because she got attacked on the street, right where he could see. Later that very day a meeting was called, assembling the entire group. Haruka wasted no time in poking fun at the younger girls.

"What happened to you girls? Get a little too close to Usagi while she was eating?"

To the tomboyish blonde's surprise the princess actually _glared_ at her for that comment.

"I'll have you know we lost a fight with an evil witch and her minion!"

The Outer's expressions turned serious. "A witch?" Setsuna murmured. "I didn't see anything like that coming up in the Time Gates."

"Whatever." Makoto huffed, "The point is we got our butts kicked by a rabbit."

The Outers turned to Ami expecting a absent minded correction but the blue-hair girl simply pressed her lips into a tight line, refusing to say anything.

Michiru spoke slowly, as if she couldn't believe the words coming from her own mouth. "A rabbit…you girls got beaten by a rabbit."

Minako responded in a mutter, clutching Artemis for comfort. "The witch helped too. At the end anyways."

Luna sniffed in clear disbelief. "I can't believe this. You girls are the mystical guardians of the Serenity line and the Moon Kingdom. How could you possibly lose to a rabbit of all things! They're weak and easily frightened; I could win a fight with a rabbit!"

Rei twitched, turning burning eyes on the black cat. "I don't want to hear a word out your mouth, you overgrown, mouthy flea-bag. On my way home I nearly got killed by a duck that's was 100 x times the fighter you'd ever be!"

Grumbling, Luna laid down on the couch beside Usagi. '_I am _so_ coughing up a hairball in _her_ shoes before we leave!_'

* * *

Another generous donation by Kytranis…

An eight year old Naruto Uzumaki was walking alone having no one to play with and sighed. Out of no where a bolt of red energy slammed into him and he vanished. A few hours later"Hinata you should let that rabbit go. It's most likely someones pet." Lyria, Hinata's mother reprimanded and her daughter reluctantly put it down. Naruto for his part was confused but figured this was his best chance to make a friend and followed her."Momma please? He's so sweet and he's been following us ever since I put him down." Hinata asked and Lyria relented."Alright Hinata you can keep him. But I want you to take good care of him, and we take him to the vet to get checked out tomorrow." Lyria said and Hinata nodded being unable to identify it's species Hinata's pet was verified as totally healthy and suitable for a nin companion. She called it Sapphire for his eye colour and chakra colour as well as that beautiful gem dead center in his forehead. Five years had passed since she found him and he gave her the surprise of her life when he transformed into a near human shape and still stuck close. Although he caused a huge stir with the Hokage after speaking to him, and was quickly registered as a Nin and Hinata's partner. Saphirre Hyuuga, formally Naruto Uzumaki. Dattebayo!


	8. 8, or The Anthill is Kicked

**Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah!**

**Disclaimer: **Hello, and welcome to chapter 8 of RSDM! I, Tigee, greet you once again! Despite my long absence, I continue to lurk in the Ether of reality, awaiting a moment to pounce upon passer's-by. I also have something to say about the author not owning Tenchi Muyo, Ranma ½, or the Sailor Moon series, but who cares! Now that I'm present, you may begin basking in my presence. Go ahead, bask. The first 5 minutes are free.

**Intro: **First off, I'd like to say that I'm sorry. Getting started on Chapter 8 took way too long, especially since there wasn't any warning before hand about what was coming up. Unfortunately, the real world reared its ugly head and dropped me hard. I'm not going to rant about it because that would pretty rude, but here's a good example of why I haven't put anything out lately. Unemployment getting canceled, not being able to find work, my brother getting arrested, my brother get his jaw broken in two places(He's gotten back to solids recently), the holidays, my birthday, and finally, a bout of writer's block. I can only hope that the worst of it is behind me now, and that I can get along with telling the story in my head.

Thank you for listening.

"Normal Speech"

'_Inner Thoughts'_

^Telepathy^

#Foreign Languages#

"Speech by Empowered Beings" a.k.a. Speaking spirits, kami, demons, and humans emitting power at high levels.

* * *

Ranma was very worried.

While the fight that had just taken place was definitely going to occupy a good deal of his attention later, Nabiki's response to the situation was his concern at the moment. When the whole thing was done and over with and Nabiki just started to calmly walk away, Ranma had been impressed. He knew exactly how much ki she'd been channeling to pull all of that off. When he'd first come to Nerima, doing something like would have dropped him, but here she was, just strolling away like nothing had happened at all. What the martial artist had forgotten was that Nabiki had no small amount of pride, and as a business woman she knew it was vitally important to always present a strong image, no matter how weak you might have actually been. So she had walked away from Furinkan without a problem. A few blocks from the school though, Nabiki staggered, nearly losing her grip on Ranma. Surprised, the transformed martial artist immediately scanned her aura with his somewhat shaky abilities. To his shock, Nabiki had manage to expend almost every bit of ki in her body! Swearing, Ranma tried pushing a bit of his own ki into her like at Furinkan, but her body wouldn't absorb it. Now very worried, he tried to catch her attention.

^Nabiki, ya need to take a bit of my ki. It oughta be enough to get you home.^

Nabiki didn't respond.

Swearing again, Ranma kept trying to feed Nabiki ki while coaxing her to finish trudging home. He thought to take her to Tofu's clinic, but the man had vanished some time ago, and his replacement was not nearly as knowledgeable or experienced in the esoteric. Not talking or even thinking, Nabiki kept putting one foot in front of another at Ranma's insistence for several more blocks, but only 200 feet from the dojo, the middle Tendo daughter collapsed, and nothing he could do would wake her. Groaning, Ranma brain-stormed furiously on how best to get her home. While strong for his size she was too heavy for him to carry. '_Aw heck, could I even pick her up in the first place?_' He could levitate, but not other people. There was always dragging, but, between the skirt and short sleeves on her uniform, being pulled across asphalt and concrete would tear up her skin. There was only one option.

'_Time to go see who's at the dojo._'

Taking a last glance at the unconscious young woman, Ranma high-tailed it down the road. It wouldn't be good to leave any one out in the open like that.

* * *

On another road, leading out of Nerima…

Groaning, and supporting each other, the roughed up Sailor Senshi slowly made their way out of the district, trying very hard not to think of what just happened. Rei had left the group in a tense silence shortly after picking themselves off the ground to return to her grandfather. It wasn't till the district borders were crossed that anyone spoke, as if stepping over the invisible landline would somehow make them safer.

"Ami…what _happened_ back there?" The Mercury Senshi shook her head, expression grim.

"I'm not sure Makoto, but it didn't seem to be quite like anything we've ever faced before. Especially that last attack. Telekinesis isn't too unusual in the grand scheme of things, but getting tossed like that was completely unexpected. It's best we continue our retreat for now, and regroup with everyone else later."

Wanting to cheer her friends up, Usagi smiled brightly. "We'll win for sure next time girls! We just have to be sneakier than that rabbit!"

"Cabbit, Usagi. It called it's self a cabbit."

The blonde's nose wrinkled. "What's a cabbit? I've never heard of that."

"Neither have we. I'll be sure to research it before we meet with the Outers to plan our next attack." There was a round of nods at that. Ami had never let them down on research before, and she certainly wasn't going to do so now.

"I hope Rei's alright."

"Me too Minako, me too."

* * *

Kasumi was humming a sprightly tune and dusting some of the selves around the house when she heard one of the sliding doors open in the front. Thinking that Father and Uncle Saotome had returned from whatever mid-day adventure they had partaken of, the rather dutiful young woman put aside her dusting cloth and went to greet them. However, the two martial artist weren't there when she showed up at the door, which was still open. Confused, Kasumi was about to shut the door when she heard a soft Miyah. Brightening up, Kasumi's gaze dropped to the ground, catching sight of her much-loved pet. "Neko-kun, did you come home to visit Mommy?" Picking up the creature, she expected him to calm down, perhaps even purr a little, but the black-furred critter just wiggled and Miyah'ed loudly. Confused, Kasumi lifted him to eye level. "What's wrong Neko? Did someone bully you?" Shaking his head, Ranma attempted to communicate that Nabiki was in dire need of care, but Kasumi just didn't seem to get it.

"Miyah!"

"Are you hungry?"

"Miyah, Miyah!"

"Did one of the neighborhood kitties steal your bed?"

"Miyah, miyaaaah!"

"Did Akane get kidnapped by another one of those silly princes?"

Ranma face-pawed with both limbs at that one, knowing it was a reasonable guess what with the way some of the kookier royalty around seemed to snatch up the youngest Tendo. Lifting his head, Ranma tried one last time. Pointing a paw in Nabiki's general direction, the cabbit-martial artist 'spoke' very slowly.

"Mi-yah, yah, Miyah."

"Oh, there's a half-off sale on rice today?"

'_Was…was she always like this? Did I just not notice?_' Deciding that Nabiki had already been left out in the street for too long, Ranma gave a particularly fierce wiggle and slipped out of Kasumi's grasp. Darting to the door, Ranma turned long enough to give a wave to Kasumi before taking off again. Though more then a little confused, the domestically inclined woman removed her apron and followed after her baby. It's not like she was going to get hurt after all.

* * *

_Crash!_

"Curse this infernal heap of fire tinder! Is there nothing at all useful written in these scrap books you call grimoires, Gosunkugi!"

Shivering in his metaphorical boots, Hikaru crawled underneath a table to wait out Kodachi's latest rampage over a lack of information on familiars in his arcane tomes. Seeing a (luckily) empty caldron go flying across the room with a resounding _bang_, the amateur mage curled up into a tight ball. Silently, the pale high school student prayed for some kind of deliverance from the notoriously insane gymnast's fury, anything!

"Mistress Kodachi, I come bearing news!"

Squeaking a thanks, Gosunkugi ran from his family study the moment Kodachi had her back turned. Let her stupid house ninja deal with her temper for a bit; he was out of here!

Failing to spot her shanghaied researcher making a run for it, Kodachi stared down at her groveling retainer. "Well, Sasuke, out with it! What news do you have for me?"

After seeing the state of the room, Sasuke made himself to be in the most humble position possible while delivering his report. "While you sought answers mistress, I kept miss Tendo under surveillance as you requested. Nothing unusual happened at first but around lunch, a quartet of Magical girls arrived and challenged Nabiki Tendo."

Kodachi blinked. "I thought the wicked Nabiki Tendo was a magical girl? Why would two such groups fight so?"

Sasuke felt more then a little relief when his mistress began showing real interest in his report. An annoyed or bored Kodachi was rather terrifying after all, and he had no desire to be one of her test subjects ever again. "Not true mistress! Shortly after arriving the magical girls, who I believe to be the famous Juuban group, the 'Sailor Senshi', loudly declared Nabiki Tendo to be a witch of some kind!"

Kodachi giggled. "Of course! It makes perfect sense! A girl as wicked and greedy as her could certainly be a witch." She giggled again, enjoying the image. "Gosunkugi! Attend me!" Silence greeted her shout. Frowning, her head swiveled back and forth looking for the pasty-faced 'mage'. "Gosunkugi! Come to me at once, before I decide you require…punishment." There was some mad scrambling from the adjoining room and Gosunkugi quickly ran in, stopping in front of Kodachi.

"Y-you called?" Kodachi smirked at the trembling male, feeling a heady glow of satisfaction at his fear of her.

"Yes. Sasuke has brought me new news of Nabiki Tendo's demon-familiar. I wish to compare what he has observed with what you know of such things."

Gosunkugi gulped. "As you wish, Kodachi. But, but maybe it would help if I knew what you were, um, looking for? Or-or what you wanted to do with Nabiki's ah, demon?" Kodachi eyed him suspiciously, contemplating whether or not to tell him. While Gosunkugi was easily cowed by her magnificence, what she had planned would no doubt be very tempting to the aspiring mage. That is, if it was possible. If it wasn't, then Kodachi had no desire to embarrass(or incriminate) herself by telling him of said plans. Perhaps it was best if this particular minion was kept in the dark. Dealing with the low cunning of Nabiki Tendo was going to be difficult enough without getting backstabbed by the only source of demon lore she had on hand.

Waving off Gosunkugi's comment with a casual gesture, Kodachi responded with a lazy air. "I think not, servant. You have no need to know what I want, just do what I tell you to. Now, Sasuke, describe what you have learned to him." Closing her eyes to mere slits, Kodachi listened intently as her house-ninja dutifully informed Gosunkugi of everything he had seen at the school. The gymnast nearly ripped the arms of her chair when Sasuke described Nabiki and her pet tossing the attacking magical girls clear out of the block. Obviously, the Tendo girl was more powerful then she had expected. This just might require more…subtly then she usually employed. Gosunkugi rubbed his chin contemplatively as Sasuke wrapped up his report.

"That's…ominous. I mean, Nabiki's _never_ shown any interest or ability in magic. For her to suddenly be able to toss around experienced demon hunters like the Sailor Senshi like that, she would have had to have a _massive_ power boost. T-the kind of demon it would take to give her that kind of empowerment is-is terrifying!" Gosunkugi blinked, a thought occurring to him. Moving to one side, the young man began rapidly sorting through a couple stacks of books, looking for the right one. Opening her eyes, Kodachi watched him whip open a rather ratty looking manuscript and began flipping through it. A couple minutes later Gosunkugi crowed.

"Found him!" Smirking, the 'mage' showed Kodachi the open page. The Kuno heiress looked down, one eyebrow arching as she took in the picture and accompanying text. It seemed fairly…surreal to her. On the left side was a full page artistic rendering of a rabbit with red eyes. Her other eyebrow joined the first in lifting up as she wondered why in blazes a rabbit would be in some ancient arcane tome.

"As I cannot read this gaijin tongue, perhaps you care to explain what I am looking at?" Gosunkugi gulped at her sharp tone.

"O-of course Miss Kuno. When Sasuke described what happened, it struck a cord. It took me a moment, but then I remembered this demon. He's name is Belathor, Corruptor of Maidens."

"Corruptor of Maidens?" Kodachi rolled it around in her thoughts. "Why would this…Belathor, be called the Corruptor of Maidens?"

Gosunkugi winced. "Um, it's pretty simple. Demons expand their power by influencing mortals. I've read that demons use all sorts of methods, lots of the stuff you see in movies. Summoning contracts, possession, dream walking, and Soul-binding contracts. It's all classical stuff. One thing that a lot of people don't know is that demons tend to have favorite targets for anything they do. Belathor was infamous for using a harmless looking form to approach and trick young women." Looking up, he was relieved to see that she looked interested in what he was saying. "People never suspected him; who would think that a bunny was a demon lord in disguise?" Holding the open book so Kodachi could see, Gosunkugi pointed to a passage a third of the way down. "Um, here it says that Belathor would pick a girl by unknown criteria and give them a taste of power. When they get addicted to it, he offers them a contract and takes their soul. If he follows pattern, he should be offering her a contract soon, and then vanish shortly afterwards."

Kodachi tapped her lips with one slim finger. "If that is true, then I shall have to make my move soon. Gosunkugi, in your, ugh, 'expert' opinion, what method would be best for harnessing for Belathor's power."

The arcane student pursed his lip, considering how to best put this. "I'm not sure. He's already here on this plane, so you can't summon him and most of the other forms of demonic influence wouldn't end well for you. I'd have to say that the only way you could 'harness' him would be a soul pact. If you want, I have a book somewhere that has some of the more successful contracts copied into it. You could use one of those to contract with him." Kodachi laughed haughtily, daintily covering her mouth with one slim-boned hand(which did nothing at all to disguise her skin crawling laugh).

"Copy some peasant's poorly written work? I think not!" A shark-like grin stretched its way across Kodachi's aristocratic face.

"Sasuke! Fetch the Kuno clan lawyers!"

* * *

"Wait Neko, wait for Mommy!"

Tossing another look over his shoulder, Ranma Miyah'ed loudly, barely slowing down as he turned the last corner. Huffing and puffing Kasumi ran after him only to come to a startled halt when she saw her sister laying unconscious in the street.

"Nabiki!"

Gulping air, Kasumi closed the rest of the distance between them and began examining her younger sister's body. Almost instantly she noted that Nabiki was breathing and had a pulse though both seemed a little weak. Smiling in relief, Kasumi checked for broken bones before lifting Nabiki's arm and draping around her neck. With a grunt of effort, Kasumi stood up holding Nabiki's limp form up with her. With a look around to make sure her baby was following Kasumi started down the street. There were a fair amount of odd looks tossed the two girls way but no one said or did anything. Even if she was the sweetest of them, Kasumi was still a part of the Tendo clan and regularly interacted with the town crazies. Nobody wanted any attention from that group, good or bad. Just a few minutes later Kasumi and Nabiki arrived home, Neko trailing behind them watchfully. Undoing the gate latch took a bit of juggling, but it was eventually managed long enough for the girls to step onto the property. Once they were inside Ranma closed the gate by pushing it with his head letting Kasumi go straight inside. Taking Nabiki upstairs to her bed without help proved to be rather difficult, but Kasumi managed. Sighing, the gentle woman began to tend to her sister all the while wondering what had happened.

"I suppose it's good that Father isn't here. He does get so emotional about such things."

* * *

_Earlier that morning…._

"Are you sure that this is a good idea old friend?"

Genma paused mid-step, head swiveling to face Soun. "What are you talking about Soun; it's brilliant!"

Genma loud exclamation attracted little attention from the thin early morning crowd. The two middle-aged artist had become somewhat infamous for their town outings, which usually ended in a bender or some ill-conceived attempt at control of Happosai's actions. Admittedly, the fact that the two men were standing in front of the district's most notorious magical Shoppe while making that sort of comment was a little nerve-racking, but it's not like they were total morons, right?

Neither Genma or Soun noted the rapid disappearance of the early morning shopping crowd.

"Not only is this idea of mine brilliant Soun, it may very well be our last chance!" Genma adjusted his glasses, attempting a sage-like appearance. "You saw what happened with those sutras last night, did you not? Despite the old Amazon's promise, the monster walked right through them. Even if they were to make some sort of new effort now, do you really wish to entrust your daughter's safety to a pack of shifty foreigners?" Soun winced. While not _as_ skeptical as his portly friend, Soun didn't think much of the Amazon crowd either, having spent quite of time trying to deny/cancel/negate their claim on his little girl's fiance. Speaking of which…

"If only your cowardly son were here to deal with this beast, loyally protecting his fiancée as he should instead of running off into the night!" Genma and Soun broke into 'manly' tears as the two railed against Ranma's disappearance(and the inconvenience it caused them). The martial arts masters were going through the 'my son/son-in-law is a frightened little girl' refrain in this song-and-dance when they were splashed with several gallons of cold water.

"Stop all yer caterwauling! Yer scaring away my customers!" Sputtering, Soun turned to face the wizened old man who owned the magic shop. At his side Genma grumbled unintelligibly, trying to wring the water out his sudden case of fur.

"Ahh, shopkeeper! I am Soun Tendo and this is my fellow master, Genma Saotome." The shopkeeper blinked at the drenched pair but silently gestured for them to continue. "We have come here today in hopes of procuring the proper tools with which dispose of a vile demon which has invaded my home and as we speak is attempting to corrupt the sweet innocence that is my daughters!" The shopkeeper blinked again scratched his beard, trying to puzzle out where the samurai armor and the setting sun background had come from during the mustachioed man's speech or why the panda was using a keyboard to make the sound-effects.

"If I help ya, will ya stop with all the nonsense and the crazy outfits?"

Soun beamed, somehow once again dressed in a dark green gi and pants. "Of course! We give our word as martial artists!"

Suddenly, the old shop keep felt a chill go down his spine. Despite that, he gestured the man and panda inside his store and flipped the sign to busy. "This is gonna end up being as ugly as that sword-slinging idiot and that phoenix egg, I just feel it my bones.(1)" Shaking his head, the elderly businessman slipped inside. Walking down the aisles the shop keep made his way to the counter and sat down on his favorite stool, the one with the imported cashmere cushion. '_Ahh, comfort for these old bones of mine._' "Now then boys, what brings ya babbling and howling to my place today?"

"Groff gromph *grunt* grof!" The shopkeeper stared.

"Can I get an answer from someone with ability to speak like a person?"

The panda looked disgruntled but ceded the conversation to a sheepish looking Soun. "Yes yes, of course." Clearing his throat, Soun stood a little straighter. "You see…a demon has invaded my home."

"I got that from yer chatter on the sidewalk. How 'bout some details?"

Soun shot the older man an annoyed look at the sardonic tone but carried on. "It is a smallish demon, but obviously quite powerful if Matriarch Cologne's response to his presence is any evidence." The shopkeeper held up his hand.

"Cologne's the Amazon right? Long hair, big staff, crazy martial artist from the west?"

"Yes, that's her. Anyways, this creature has not only defeated my fellow martial artist and myself, he has stepped through sutras, terrified the neighborhood, and has somehow fascinated two of my daughters. I am dire need of some kind of assistance in subduing it before it does something truly horrible!"

The shop keep tilted his head in thought. "So sonny, what kind of demon is he?"

Soun and Genma blinked. "…kind of demon?"

*Sigh* You didn't think that there was just one kind of demon did ya? There's all kinds of demons in the world, and each of them have different strengths and weaknesses! In Japan alone there are hundreds! How do ya expect me to provide ya with the right tools if I don't know what to give ya!" The elderly man's explanation was meet with a mix of annoyance and despair.

"Oh…I see. Is there some way to tell what kind of demon this might be?"

The shop keep cackled; oh how he lived to see his 'customers' screwed over! "'Course there is boys! Research! Lots and lots of research! Mwa-Hahahahahaha!"

Soun and Genma stared in horror at the mad laughter, clutching each other in fright. '_Why?_' They both thought. '_Why are old people so very evil! EVIL!_'

* * *

"Ugghh. I feel like crap."

^Ain't no surprise Nabiki. You burnt through all your ki. Hell, I'm surprised you're even awake.^

Slowly and painfully, Nabiki forced her eyes open. Shades of black and red filled her vision. It took her several moments to figure out that the blob of dark color was Neko crouching inches from her face. Deciding to deal with the whole personal space issue later, Nabiki closed her eyes to keep the light from making her head feel worse.

"What's the damage?"

^Those magic girls got sent packing. Wouldn't expect to see them anytime soon. The kids at school looked a little freaked, but that's no big deal. Hell, the worse damage is really to you. I ain't got a clue what kind of side-effects ya get from doing that kind of thing.^ Nabiki twitched.

"Don't you do that kind of thing all the time?"

Neko shrugged, not quite thinking of the fact that Nabiki's eyes were still closed. ^Nope. I'm more the 'beat-'em-up' kinda guy.^

'_Wonder. A powerful demon that doesn't do much thinking…all we'd need is for Ranma to pop out and challenge him to a fight and things would almost seem back to normal around here.'_

Forcing herself to simply deal with the increased headache, Nabiki asked her newest partner to go over what had happened. He actually managed to surprise her with the amount of detail he could recall once she prodded him into the right train of thought for a debriefing. His description of her new powers was thrilling until she realized it came at the cost of antagonizing the Sailor Senshi. Collapsing on the way home though, that was worrying. It seemed her new 'gift', as Neko called it, had a limit. A part of her mind began drawing up a list of tests and trials to explore her new ability even as she pushed ahead in her conversation with Neko. "If I collapsed, then how did I get home? I don't really see a rabb- cabbit carrying me."

Neko made a soft coughing sound in the back of his throat(an odd noise coming from something that looked like that Nabiki thought). ^Err…your sister.^

Nabiki just stared, feeling her eyebrow starting to twitch. "Which sister?"

^Mumble mumble mumble^

"Did you just _think_ 'mumble mumble mumble' at me!"

Eyeing Nabiki, Neko hopped to her desk. ^…Kasumi.^

Nabiki swore quietly. "How did you get her to help…you 'talk' to her?"

Neko's 'voice' came in as a grumble. ^Give me some credit alright. I just miyahed at her until she followed me to you. Easy as pie. Ya got any other questions or ya wanna go back to sleep and recover?^

Nabiki opened her mouth to snark at him but he beat her to it. "Miyah!"

"Huh?"

"What is it Neko? Is something wrong with Nabiki?"

Nabiki felt her eyebrow twitch again as she stared at the cabbit. "Very clever. You do realize that I'll be getting you back for this, right?"

Somehow, the furry little bastard grinned. ^You can try Nabiki-chan, you can try.^

Watching Hurricane Kasumi descend on a protesting Nabiki gave Ranma a warm glowing feeling in his gut. It was nice to see the short-haired girl get hers for once. It happened so rarely that the moment ought to be recorded somehow. '_Well, it's funny now, but if I know Nabiki, she really is gonna get back at me._'

"Ack! Kasumi! I don't need my temperature taken! Wait! Not that thermometer! Not that one! Use the one that goes in my mou-EeKKKK!"

Ranma froze on the desk, the scene in front of him sending shock throughout his entire system. '_Oh holy shit! If she EVER finds out I'm me, Nabiki is going to fucking KILL me! Or worse._' Unconsciously, Ranma's head tilted to follow the movement on the bed as Kasumi wrestled the weakened Nabiki into holding still long enough for the thermometer to work. '_Screw it. Her butt's cute and you only live once. Where does she keep her cameras again?_'

* * *

"How much longer is this going to take old man?"

"However long it takes to find yer demon ya fat idiot! If ya got the energy to complain, why don't ya keep looking through those books!" Genma grumbled sullenly, pushing around the open books without bothering to read them. The overweight martial artist had pretty much given up finding anything useful in the ratty old books the old shopkeeper had produced from the back. After only a few hours he'd started whining and complaining and his 'ungrateful son' and the lack of sake available. Soun had faired little better, and had actually been banned from handling the books after sprouting waterfalls of tears and nearly destroying one of the manuscripts. Growling, the shop-keep glanced over the tome in his hands as 'those two jack-offs' as he dubbed them in his head went on another rant. Privately, the shopkeeper felt sorry for the poor boy, what with having to deal with these two yahoos and all the other assorted hangers-on that kicked around the district. While the shop-keep wouldn't call Ranma a friend, he'd run into the boy often enough, knew him well enough to only wish him well where ever he'd run off to. Wincing as a loud 'Wahh!' rang out in the shop, the shopkeeper looked back down, flipping to the next page. '_I've got to get these twits out of here before they do something truly stupid. I know I said I'd help 'em but I'd forgotten how much of a pain it is to deal with these two._' Sighing, the shop-keep flipped another page and started reading again. '_Course it'd help if I could find what kind of creature they…oh, hehehe. So that's it huh?_'

"Well boys, yer in luck, looky what I found!" Waving the manuscript in his hand at the two guests, the shopkeeper opened the book so they could see, pointing out the appropriate text. Looking relieved that they'd be able to get out of here, the two men hopped up and walked over to the counter. Chuckling, the shop-keep began reciting the passage from memory.

"The Kitsune is a trickster of the highest order. Clever, cunning, mischievous, and ruthless. A Kitsune is a creature of many tricks and powers. Shape shifting, illusions, charms of all kinds, curses, and other mysterious powers no man has ever seen. Kitsune are not merely pranksters, however. They are also known seducers of the male and female gender. Oddly, Kitsune are not always malevolent. Some have acted most generously, benefiting humans they have encountered in a number of ways. However, benevolent Kitsune are far rarer then their malevolent brethren, and even kindly Kitsune can be quite fickle about who they help or what they do. As a side note, some of the more observant witnesses to these incidences claim that in several cases a single Kitsune was helpful to one individual and quite spiteful to another person. If you encounter a Kitsune, there is little you can do to influence them to your benefit. However capricious they may be, your best bet in doing so lies in the Kitsune's pride. As a race, they are quite egotistical and appealing to their pride is often your only chance."

Genma and Soun exchanged confused glances, wondering what the older man was nattering on about. "Yes…while that's rather interesting my good man, what do that have to do with the demon who have entranced my daughters?" The shopkeeper paused, feeling his brow twitch furiously. Why do all the morons come to him?

'_Oh yeah, I lure 'em in to bilk 'em for their money. The headache's just the price of doing business I guess. Speaking of doing business…_'

"What do ya think ya fool? If yer 'demon' walks through demon wards then what is it? Not a demon stupid!" Soun and Genma 'ohh'd together as the light turned on upstairs.

"If my daughter's 'pet' is not a demon, then what is it?" The shopkeeper stared.

"A Kitsune dangit! Yer girl found and picked up a Kitsune somewhere an' took it home! Is it so hard for ya to connect the dots!" Giving a gusty sigh, the shopkeeper closed the book and pushed it aside. "Kitsune aren't demons, even if they tend to act a little naughty. They're a form of nature spirit. Demon wards like that don't work on spirits, it's just the wrong kinda effect." The shop-keep grinned. "Luckily for the two of ya, I got just the thing for protecting yer home from Kitsune. Now then, yer gonna want the full home protection package to make sure that yer family is safe. Now, this is gonna run a bit, so let's see how much ya got on ya."

Watching the two martial artist's forlorn faces as they coughed up their drinking money for spirit wards, the shopkeeper felt a warm glow in his crusty heart. '_I love this part…_'

* * *

With a sad-sounding jingle, Soun and Genma left the shop with a wrapped-package. In said package rested a comprehensive selection of spirit wards, guaranteed to drive out the Kitsune. Sensing his long-time friend's mood taking a downward swing, Genma decided to cheer up Soun. "At least this matter is almost settled Soun my old friend. What's say we celebrate the good news!" Soun stopped mid-step, tossing a confused look Genma's way.

"But how? That greedy old man took all our money just for these wards!" Smirking, Genma wrapped a friendly arm around Soun's shoulders, gesturing expansively with the other.

"Soun, Soun, Soun…have our days with the Master taught you nothing? Think of it this way Soun; why are we here?"

"To safeguard my little girls of course!"

"Right!" Genma proclaimed loudly, pointing to the heavens. "But WHY are we safeguarding your girls?"

Soun looked thoughtfully, not sure where his old training partner was going with this. "Because…they are my daughters, and they have been endangered my a trouble causing fox spirit capable of kicking us into walls?"

Genma gave a melodramatic sigh. "The root of the problem Soun. The reason we are here is because the boy is not! The reason we don't have money for drinks is because the boy is missing! So, the boy should be the one to cover our celebration of good luck and the swift removable of an annoying houseguest!"

Soun blinked. "If your son isn't here in the first place, then how would he pay for our drinks?"

Genma beamed. "A tab of course, the boy's tab! I started one a while back at this bar a few blocks down the street. We'll have a nice night whether or not the boy's here to take care things!"

Laughing, the two martial artists started down the street. As they walked, neither man took note of the girl with oddly cut pink hair they passed. They'd seen weirder, and there was booze to be had!

Then again, paying attention to this particular 'little girl' probably wouldn't have ended well anyways.

* * *

'Mi-yah yah yah! Miyah yah yah!"

'_I know it's wrong to enjoy someone else's humiliation and suffering, but it was still funny as heck. And, even better, I got a little something for future use out of it._'

Still chuckling, Ranma double-checking his new hidey hole, making sure that no one would be able to spot the outline of the cubby where he'd hidden the camera he'd used to gather…insurance. Once he turned back into a human being, those pictures would be worth his life. If he pulled it off, he'd never have to deal with Nabiki's blackmailing and scheming ever again. Then again, Nabiki wasn't going to just roll over(heh heh 'snicker') and give up. The moment he revealed the pictures, she'd fight back with everything she had. He was going to have to use some of her own tricks to keep them and get the leverage to keep her off of his back. Luckily, Nabiki used them on him so often he knew most of them. He just didn't know the counters. Ranma frowned as best as his furry face could. Just because he couldn't figure out how to counter her tricks didn't mean that she couldn't. '_I'm gonna need an ace for this. Least I have a little time to think of something while I wait for that idiot pig to find his way back._' Turning around, Ranma started to hop back to the house(like he'd hide something like in a house with people like Nabiki, Happosai, and his old man). Near the porch, he heard a soft buzzing sound. Blinking, he looked around. Spotting nothing, he turned around to look more carefully. Still seeing nothing, Ranma instinctively growled. Strange sounds were never good around here.

_Buzzzzzz._

Ranma stiffened. '_Wait a minute…I KNOW that sound._' Cranking up his energy senses, Ranma swept the yard again looking for a void in his senses. It took just a few moments to find the empty spot floating over the bushes. '_Son of a bitch! It's Washu's little floating cameras! How'd she find me, I didn't use any cabbit powers._' Aiming carefully, Ranma let loose with a quick ki blast. With a small flash of light the invisible flying camera fried and disintegrated. Miyahing in satisfaction, Ranma swept the yard one last time. When it came up clean he started back to the house. '_I hope pig-boy comes back soon. I'm not sure I can stay here if they come after me. That Kiyone woman reminds me of the fiancees. Brr._'

_Elsewhere…_

"How does he do that?" Entering a few commands on her console, Washu pondered the male cabbit's ability to spot her special spy cameras. It was very puzzling. "I wonder if his designer was paranoid enough to develop a new kind of radar for this kind of thing." Deciding to put it in her 'research later' notes Washu began considering how best to continue observing her future guinea pig. "This might be more difficult then I anticipated. I didn't think he'd be able to spot the cameras after I tweaked them again." A click of her portable console brought up a number of file in a language no human had ever been able to read. Browsing over them with out blinking, Washu read and processed the scrolling information at inhuman speed, the words a blur to anyone but her. This was the part she loved best, actually. These days it was rare for her to run into something new to her(and therefore exciting), and Ranma came with a number of questions that she couldn't answer, despite his cabbit-ity, or was that cabbitness?

"Better decide on that one…seems like the kind of guy to ask the most embarrassing thing without even trying." Shaking it off, Washu suddenly had an idea on how to go about concealing her spy-cameras. Laughing her best 'evil-scientist' laughing, the diminutive inventor began making adjustments to her camera blue-prints. "Let's see you spot these little guys, Ranma-kun!"

* * *

_Again, Elsewhere…What? You didn't think I was going to go right back to Ranma did you? I mean come on, I know the story's named after him and all but the word doesn't revolve around the guy. I can advance the plot in other ways you know. I'm creative guys! Really creative damnit, so why don't you just…oh no! The Fourth Wall, no, no, NnnooooOO!_

_**Splat!**_

_Again, Elsewhere…_

Being the guardian of Time(2) had a great many benefits, and Setsuna dearly enjoyed most of them. Eternal youth? Do you even _have_ to ask? The ability to watch the greatest and most important scenes in history firsthand; awesome! Always, always being on time for appointments; super sweet. Ok, so knowing the ending to your favorite TV shows before you watched them was a bit of a killjoy, and standing vigil over what amounted to an _incredibly_ elaborate mirror for 10 thousand years got lonely but no job was perfect and this one was one of the most honored and important positions in the universe. The one thing that Setsuna hated about her job as the guardian of Time, more then anything else that she had experienced in ten thousand years of existence was knowing without doubt that something terrible was going to happen soon and being completely unable to do even the least little bit about it.

_Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring…_

The moment Setsuna picked up the phone, the bridge of her nose began aching something fierce(3). Eyes closed, the green haired woman allowed a light 'God _damn_ it!' to escape her as she held up the reciever to her ear. "Moshi moshi, Setsuna Meioh speaking."

"Hi Setsuna! Um, do you have a moment?"

Usagi. Of course. "Yes I do your highness. What can I do for you?" Setsuna's free hand began to drift to her pockets, where she kept a special key.

"You do? Great! I had a kind of really silly question? Do you know anything about cabbits?" Setsuna's hand paused in its quest. '_What in the name of Serenity is a cabbit?_'

"I'm not familiar with that word. Could you describe what this 'cabbit' looked like?"

Whatever little tension that was in Usagi's voice when she called disappeared when the older woman didn't immediately start into her. "Sure thing! It looked a lot like a rabbit, only it had these cute little whiskers like a kitty and it was doing all sorts of weird things. I mean it glowed and kicked people and it was really really mean! Plus, I've never seen a black and red rabbit; have you?"

_Thump_

Stone-faced, Setsuna got up from her seat and walked into the next room. Stopping directly in front of a locked oak cabinet(imported from Europe in 1674), the silent woman retrieved the right key from her pocket and unlocked the sturdy piece of furniture. Taking out a very old and potent bottle of her very-rarely touched hard liquor collection Setsuna ignored the shot glasses and locked the cabinet before returning to her seat and the phone. After cracking the seal and taking a long swallow to get started, Setsuna picked the phone back up to her future liege panicking. "Setsuna! Setsuna, what's wrong? Do you need help? SETSUNA!"

"Usagi!" The older woman's voice cracked like a whip over the line, silencing the blond. "Now…I want you to slowly and very carefully describe what happened when you met this 'cabbit'." Patiently, and occasionally sipping from her bottle, the Time guardian listened as Usagi went through the entire day, a little too nervous to stop herself from babbling. By the time Usagi finally wound down, the green-haired Senshi had managed to put a serious dent in the whiskey bottle, more then she'd had to drink since 1945. Now that the younger woman was done, Setsuna wasn't sure what she wanted to tell Usagi, but the whiskey damn sure knew what it wanted to say.

"Are you _retarded_! Did your mother drop you on the head when you were a child or were you just BORN that damn stupid!"

"…"

"No no, I have it! A some point a Youma managed to suck out your brains because that is the only way, in the name of all Things Good and Holy, that you and those _twits_ thought it was a good idea to hunt down and piss off a chaos generator in its own home territory! Do you have any clue how BAD this is going to be! The kind of trouble that's going to come from this! The kami love chaos generators, they _dote_ on them! They almost always have some twisted or horrible life because it's necessary for the world the to keep spinning and they get a hell of a lot of good luck and divine assistance when they truly need it because of the burden they bear!" Groaning, the eldest Senshi collapsed limply into her chair. "Being a little rude for coming to another Generator's territory is one thing but this…? Call the other girls and have them meet at the Cherry Hill shrine tomorrow. We have some things to discuss young lady." Getting a squeak that she took for agreement, Setsuna hung up. Forcing herself to her feet, the Time guardian began stumbling to her bed, killing the bottle as she went.

Tomorrow wasn't going to be pleasant for any of them.

* * *

Ranma was in the living room watching TV and waiting for dinner when the front door was nearly knocked off of its hinges by a couple of boisterous drunks.

After spending quite bit of the afternoon being taken care of by a far too insistent Kasumi, Nabiki had regained enough strength to make it downstairs where she dropped in front of the television hoping to shut off the more crazed parts of her brain as she carefully went over what had happened at school. While Kasumi wasn't quite aware of what'd happened, she could sense that something life-changing had gone on and that Nabiki needed to contemplate it. Knowing her younger sister thought best when stimulated, Kasumi had sacrificed valuable snuggle time with Neko by putting him Nabiki's arms to pet while the TV blared quietly. Ranma hadn't really been happy with the position, knowing that Ryoga pulled this kind of crap, but if protested he'd have to explain and that couldn't _possibly_ end well so he'd kept his mouth shut while as Nabiki spent hours lost in thought. Kasumi had done some cleaning around the house before heading to the kitchen to cook dinner, noting to herself that Akane had yet to make her way home. The unwed homemaker didn't think to much of it though. Nerima was so lively after all, and Akane occasionally lost track of time while having fun with her friends. Thus, it was a quiet and rather domestic scene that Soun and Genma ruined by slamming open the door and staggering inside singing something incomprehensible. Glancing over at the two, Nabiki snorted.

"Hello Daddy, uncle Saotome, have fun at the bar?" The men blinked and peered at her blearily.

"Whazz that Nabiki -chan? You say some thing?" Nabiki sighed. As if she hadn't had a headache before.

"Nothing Daddy. Dinner will be soon. Why don't you and uncle Saotome wash up." There's some was muttering that she hoped was agreement as the two drunks staggered off. "Ugh. Now I'm going to have to listen to them being even stupider then usual."

^Why don't you just ignore them?^

"Because they get louder if you don't acknowledge them. I just hope they go away after dinner; I don't want to listen to them rant about how much of an 'ungrateful and disobedient' son Ranma is." Ranma twitched, something Nabiki missed luckily.

^I've heard that name mentioned a couple of times around here. Who's he?^

Nabiki frowned, not sure how to explain Ranma to someone who'd never meet him(bwa-hahah!). "Ranma is…was Akane's fiancée." That comment got his attention.

^Was her fiancée? What happened?^ Nabiki's lips pursed as her expression turned…odd.

"No one knows for sure, which is pretty strange considering the fact that he wasn't bright enough to escape from everyone who was looking for him on his own."

Ranma ground his teeth together. ^You don't say.^

Nabiki shrugged. "I guess it's not fair to call him a moron even if he acted like it constantly. The only time I've ever seen him display any sort of intellect was when he was fighting." Nabiki giggled a bit, lost in her memories. "I swear, that boy was almost totally unless outside some kind of brawl. In fact, one time…"

Listening to her telling a story about one of the many times she had verbally trapped and humiliated him, Ranma couldn't but think back to the day Genma told him the only exceptions to the 'no hitting girls' rule.

* * *

_Flashback…my first, yay!…_

_An 11 year old Ranma sat cross-leg in front of his father as the bald martial artist cleared his throat. "Ranma my son, this week I have taught you a bit of wisdom my own father taught me; to never strike a woman. However, there are a few very, very, VERY rare times that this rule must be…bent." A young Ranma leaned forward, still eager to listen to his father at this younger, more foolish age. "In my experience, you should be ready to strike out in self-defense at the following kinds of women; women with guns, women whose daughters you have been caught doing something inappropriate with(Ranma blinked in confusion at this), magical girls, and any priestess who uttered any of the following words; castration, unman, and eunuch." Ranma looked thoughtful, during over his father's wisdom in his head._

"_Pop…what's a eunuch?" Genma shuddered._

"_Pray you never find out first hand boy, pray hard."_

_Flashback…complete._

* * *

'_Fine…I still shouldn't hit her, but at least I still have blackmail pictures of my own._'

"…and then, hehe, the sap said _he_ was sorry and that it would never happen again! Ahh…" Nabiki sighed, "even if he wasn't much more then a trained monkey, playing with his head was lots of fun."

Twitch…twitch…^Sounds like you don't miss him that much.^

Nabiki shrugged. "Honestly, I don't care either way. Messing with him was fun, but the trouble that followed was just a little too much. If he really wants to get away from all his problems…good luck."

'_For Nabiki, that's actually pretty nice. Guess she doesn't totally hate me._'

Their conversation ended when they both heard Kasumi call out that dinner was ready. Riding on Nabiki's shoulder as she made her unsteady way to dining room Ranma semi-drifted into thought. He rudely brought out of it when Genma shouted drunkenly. "Soun-it's the Kitsune! Getz the wards, let us drive out the spirit!"

'_Ah man, not again!_'

Flashing back to that afternoon, Nabiki squeaked and dove for the hallway. Caught off guard by the sudden movement Ranma ended up flopping on his belly and losing his breath. '_Four legs…I've got four legs right now. Forgot to…ugh…adjust._'

_Thump_

'_Ah shit._'

"Begone…_hic_…evil spirit! Trouble this house no…_hic_…more!" A moment later, Ranma felt a spirit ward being slapped onto his forehead as Soun off to the side chanted some sort of incantation. '_How stupid are these two if they're just gonna keep trying the same thing over and over and…uh-oh…_'

"Mmiyyaaaahhh!" ^Oooowwwwww!^

It hurt. That tiny little strip of paper on his head really freakin' hurt! It wasn't the worst pain in the world but since it was placed in between his eyes made it seem several times worse. Howling, Ranma dashed around the dining room unconsciously dodging Genma and Soun's hands. ^God damn it this burns!^

"Ho ho, look at the little fox run around! That'll show him to-"

**CLANG!**

Whirling unsteadily, Soun watched his eldest daughter recover from the two-handed swing of her ki-constructed skillet that had just sent his old training partner Genma flying out the dining room doors and into the yard. The Tendo patriarch stood there, confused as to what had just happened despite the evidence.

"K-kasumi?"

"Leave Neko-kun alone!"

**CLANG!**

Peeking around the corner, Nabiki watched as her older sister scooped Neko into her arms and tenderly peel the spirit ward from his head. "My poor baby. Don't worry Neko-kun, Mommy will make your burn feel better."

Shaking her head, Nabiki crept out from cover. It was almost a little terrifying how fast and how deeply Kasumi had fallen for cute little what-ever-he-was. Looking out the dining room doors at the knocked out fathers, Nabiki shook her head again. "No matter what Kasumi says about making it all better, when those two wake up, it's still going to be ugly. The only good thing about this whole mess is that Akane isn't here. If little Miss Volcanic Temper was here we'd be lucky if the house was still standing afterwards." Sighing, Nabiki moved to the table. Even if there was a storm on the horizon, there wasn't much point in letting one of Kasumi's meals go to waste. Besides, it was always a good idea to keep up your strength in Nerima.

* * *

1.) It was an amusing OVA episode. I liked it anyways.

2.) And therefore Space, according to high school physics. I think it was physics. Might want to look that up for yourselves, maybe. But for the purpose of the story, it's Time and to a lesser extent, Space.

2.B.) Was it math? Physics or math, I know it was one of those two, unless it was one of those things that they teach but they don't teach you correctly or in a class that's it's not supposed to be in but they put it their anyways because it's important and they have to teach it but they don't have enough material to make it a separate class of its own and it's not like we could get the students to hold still long enough to tack something else on to their day because nobody teaches proper respect and behavior these days. I mean most of these parents today just stick their kid in front of a t.v. and call it child rearing. I mean, what the hell's wrong with you! Spend a part of your day with YOUR damn kids you LAZY stupid son of a-(The following is edited due horrific content which does not pertain to the story. The author wrote it during a bout of insomnia and felt much better and less burdened about something in his life but took most of it out for personal reasons, relevance, and profanity but the first bit was kind of amusing. Sorry about the rant. You should feel lucky though. The original was like 1.5k to 2k words of personal opinions and feelings about the American society. Glad your not reading that, right?)

3.) Setsuna Meioh; accidentally creating folk sayings throughout the ages.

* * *

**Author's Note: **What's this…what's this, is this a new chapter? It is, it is a new chapter, chapter 8 my friends! I feel so accomplished even if I haven't really done much he he he. Oh man though, I was starting to fear that I'd completely lost any touch I had with my literary talent. It was just stress I didn't know how to channel. While we are on that, I would like to once again thank Doc Flareon for everything he's done for me. I'd probably still be banging my head against the keyboard if he hadn't made a few suggestions. My parents have been encouraging me on the home front too, so thank goodness for them. On a related note, I've been thinking about reworking an old writing project that I started almost 10 years ago. If I do it though, I warn you now, it will not be pretty. The project(I have no clue what it really classifies as) was a slasher/gorefest of death and destruction that I started when I was really suffering from undiagnosed clinical depression. If I do pick it up again, I'll find a way for you guys to see it if you want. Just remember, you have been warned; GORE-FEST!

A-hem, back to note's about this story. No resolution but lots of confrontation this time around. There were some rather things this chapter, though I'm a little afraid that I didn't write it out so you guys could enjoy it. As always though guys, if you have any questions about this chapter feel free to send me the questions. Ooh, you know I love omakes too right guys? I take suggestions and I look into possible corrections, even if I don't always just them. Thanks again guys for being patient with me.

Theoretically Yours,

Tigee86.

* * *

And now, some Omake…

Concept by Lord Edric, written by Tigee86.

Sasuke the cabbit!

'_These weaklings…I can't understand why they insist on wasting my time._'

Wordlessly, Sasuke Uchiha, the last loyal member of the elite Sharingan using clan Uchiha glared at the particularly useless weakling crouched in front of him. If there was a poster boy for stupidity, then Sasuke was sure that Naruto Uzumaki was it. The loud orange-wearing fool was being a spectacular fool today though, somehow ruining what should have been a solemn occasion as their class graduated from students to shin obi. '_How this idiot passed is beyond me…maybe they're forming a cannon fodder squad?_'

"I don't see what's so special about Sasuke!"

The aforementioned Uchiha increased his glare at the now squinting blonde even as the fan girls surrounding the two lost their minds, screaming abuse at Naruto the classroom until the windows rattled. Both boys managed to tune them out though, and leaned slightly closer, lightning seemingly crackling between them from the spiteful tension. Then, to shock of the entire class, Naruto's head tilted and the blonde's eyes seemed to lose focus. The rabid screaming faded away as the girls and everyone else wondered what could possibly distracted the notoriously stubborn blonde from his staring match with his schoolyard rival.

"Hit the deck!" Naruto's sudden scream and dive to the floor two desk rows away left the entire class frozen in shock…right until a bright red beam of light blasted through the window and nailed Sasuke like a runaway merchant's cart.

Pandemonium broke out when the light faded and Sasuke was no where to be found. There would have been no telling how long that would have lasted had Naruto not jumped back to his original spot obeying a snickering voice whose source he could not place. Despite his confusion and apprehension about hearing mysterious voices in his head, the mischievous blonde knew it was _totally_ worth it when he saw what was in Sasuke's seat.

"Hey everyone, look what happened to the oh so mighty Sasuke!" Every head turned to see the grinning blonde holding up an ivory-furred rabbit looking creature with a swirling black pattern on its back and head that served to offset and sharply contrast to the other wise pure and bright color of it's fur. All the double X chromosome carriers in the class immediately thought 'Soooo cute!' That's when it opened it's obsidian eyes and made a single sound.

"Miyah…"

Even confused and barely conscious, Sasuke felt the sudden spike of intent that sent chills of horror up and down his spine. Eyes wide now, the transformed young man stared at the salivating girls in the classroom.

'_This…feeling. It's a hundred times worse then I've ever felt from any female. It feels like…Kawaii Intent!_'

"Hey Sasuke." A boy's voice whispered into his newly-floppy ears. Twisting, the changed Uchiha faced his captor; Naruto. The sight of his fellow genin's vulpine grin made Sasuke flash back to the day of his clan's mass murder.

"I win, Sasuke…Here you go girls, enjoy!" Shouting the latter half to the class Naruto straightened his arms and tossed the cabbitified Sasuke right to his most intense stalkers; Sakura and Ino.

"Miyaaaaaahhh!" '_NNNnnnnnooooooo!_'

Welcome to Hell, Sasuke Uchiha.


	9. 9, or Plan B, for Bullshit

**Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah!**

**Disclaimer**: Hello one and all, the Tigee greets you. I would treat you to the gloriously masculine sound of my voice, but I am occupied with a surprise for you, my loyal minions! You'll be seeing it in future, Bwa-hahaHAha! Anyways, the author doesn't own blah blah blah, whatever. Come back next time for your surprise. FYI, I don't own Nisshin Seifun Group Inc. I looked up a random company because I was mildly interested.

**Intro**: I was moved(a little anyways, gotta push around all the evil in there ya know) by the huge response that chapter 8 got. Seeing so many read and respond to it really astonished me, and lit a fire under my butt to keep the creative flow going. So I sat down and started working on chapter 9 here despite being distracted by a slightly lengthy one-shot that ambushed me about a month ago. Unfortunately, the Muses denied my Inspiration charge card, leaving me deep in a metaphysical debt.

Sorry dudes and dudettes but them's the breaks.

"Normal Speech"

'_Inner Thoughts'_

^Telepathy^

#Foreign Languages#

"Speech by Empowered Beings" a.k.a. Speaking spirits, kami, demons, and humans emitting power at high levels.

* * *

**Earth - 531, 796,710.95 R.5/TenMu-AU/C**

The roof of the Tendo home, Nerima, Tokyo, Japan

4:39 a.m. - Local Standard Time

As silent as the grave and seen as nothing more then a flitting shadow, a small and furry shape made his way across the roof of the Tendo homestead. Avoiding the weak and damaged spots on the roof caused by weather, Akane's temper, and visits from vengeful/crazy suitors the shadow soon arrived over the window of the Tendo's guestroom. Purring, the shadow leaned forward and revealed it's self to be Ranma, eyes gleaming with vindictive glee. Ranma was looking forward to this, had been since dinner. Ranma paused, one paw half off the roof. '_Speaking of dinner, Akane wasn't there. And I know she hasn't come home since then 'cause I've been watching the place for Amazons, Washu, the Kuno's, and any fresh 'guest' as Kasumi puts it. Wonder where she is?_' Shaking away the thought for later consideration, Ranma started moving again. Quietly dropping on to the window sill, Ranma peered inside. The room was completely empty, except for a snoring panda. Eyes trailing to the door, the martial artist turned cabbit noted that it was locked, and a few empty bottles were stacked in front of it. It was an almost childishly simple trick, but it worked, and he knew that the old man would have something similar for the window too.

'_Pops is a moron, but when it comes to saving his hide from anyone or anything, he's right up there with the best of them._'

The thing was, that if Genma went through the trouble to set all of this up, then he was going to be sleeping lightly tonight. The lazy jerk didn't like to, especially in the comfort of a house and futon, but he would be worried about himself after antagonizing an 'otherworldly creature' at dinner tonight. Sighing, Ranma pondered on how best to get in there without waking/warning his old man. The door was locked and trapped, the window was locked and trapped, all the holes was currently patched…how the hell was he going to get in there! '_Well, these IS one way, but do I wanna risk it?_' He could, with a thought, phase through the wall thanks to cabbit powers. But if he did, then Washu would…would…

Ranma barely restrained himself from bashing his head into something as it finally dawned on him that Washu had already found him. If she hadn't just snatched him after that camera spotted him, then what was the harm in using them some more? Breathing deeply, Ranma recalled what Ryo-ohki had told him about using these powers. '_Ok, call up the energy. Shape the energy, tune it to your surroundings, wrap it around ya…_' Praying to the kami it worked, Ranma hopped forward. There was a brief fuzzy feeling, but Ranma found himself inside the guestroom. Cackling mentally, Ranma released the energy and moved towards his father, radiating manic glee.

* * *

_Beep Beep Beep_

Grinning, Washu pressed a few buttons to bring up the results of the alarm. As she had hoped, it was her newest sensor attachment, designed to find and ID cabbit signatures. Despite her genius in developing such a thing, the eccentric scientist wasn't surprised that the pre-built alarms were only going off now. Ranma(Sasami still called him Ran-ohki), _did _have some pretty advanced stealth capacities. For example, the little guy's energy signal was tightly contained when not in active use, even better then Ryoko's, much to the ex-pirates astonishment when Washu had told her. Humming thoughtfully, Washu watched Ranma's energy signal radiate for less then 2 minutes before disappearing again. "Interesting…" she murmured, "what could he have been doing that would take so little time?" Lost in thought, Washu looked out the window of the apartment she had rented for this little hunt. Only a few blocks away from where Ranma seemed to being staying, the apartment offered a decent view of the area. Despite that view, she completely missed the movement of a pair of individuals on a roof top less then 2 blocks away.

* * *

On a roof top a short distance from the Tendo dojo, Cologne sat almost perfectly still, age and experience giving her the ability to do so for long periods of time unlike her great-granddaughter who was currently fidgeting. "Be still Shampoo, before you give away our position to the creature dwelling in the Tendo's home." Shampoo twitched again.

"Sorry great-grandmother, Shampoo try harder." The young Amazon hesitated, but spoke again. "Great-grandmother, why we watch house?"

"Because Shampoo, one must study their enemy if they are to be victorious. This is doubly true when one knows as little as we do about this 'Neko'." Since her great-granddaughter seemed to be nervous, it was best to put that energy to use. "Tell me, Shampoo what do we know of this creature?"

Finally distracted from whatever it was that was bothering her, Cologne watched her descendant stare unseeing over the neighborhood. "He looks like rabbit, but not a rabbit. He very fast and strong, he have strange powers, like growing big and spitting ice. He not react to Wards and charms." Shampoo frowned cutely, thinking carefully. "I no can think of anything else." Cologne sighed.

"Admittedly, we know very little of Neko. A number of his traits seem to contradict each other. Not only that, but I have sensed that he is still hiding even more abilities. That is why we are here tonight, to further observe this creature. Do you understand, Shampoo?" Seeing that her great-granddaughter wasn't paying attention, Cologne frowned. "Shampoo, are you listening?"

"Great-grandmother…look." Following the girl's pointing finger, Cologne couldn't keep her eyebrows from shooting up at what she saw. Neko was sitting on sleeping Genma, who was in panda form. The startling bit? They were floating up _through_ the roof.

"Well…that's interesting."

"Great-grandmother?"

"We may need to summon help from the village. It seems that Neko has truly only started in on his bag of tricks."

* * *

_The Cat Café, around 4:30 a.m…  
_

As Cologne and her great-granddaughter staked out the 'newest' mover and shaker to the Nerima area, their rooms and belongings were being ransacked by a rather familiar figure to the restaurant; Mousse. Thoroughly and carefully, the near-blind Amazon male tore apart his countrywomen's assorted property. Despite what many of the locals would have assumed, Mousse was not looking for some sort of token or keepsake of Shampoo's to perv over, and/or some sort of Amazon trick to win her heart. Instead, the Hidden Weapons master was looking for anything and everything that would help him in what he was going to do before the sun came up. He found plenty of cash(which was good), pawn able jewelry(also good), but couldn't find what he was really looking for; the Mummy's magical cache. If his little plan was to have any success at all, then he had to take her magical supply for himself, or at least deny it to Cologne. The things that shriveled bitch had up her over-sized sleeves…

Kicking aside the Mummy's last bag to be found in the upper areas of the café, Mousse huffed and headed to the one part of the building completely forbidden to him. A picked lock and 3 disabled traps later, Mousse stood in front of what would have just been a storage room in a normal restaurant, but here, served as Cologne's Vault(1). This part, he knew, was going to hurt. Taking a deep breathe, Mousse drew out his gloves and wires and sliced open the Vault door. As the wooden door was cleaved into pieces, every defensive ward, charm, and rune Cologne knew lit up on its remains. An energy that only _resembled_ electricity crawled up the wires and jolted Mousse mercilessly. Shaking violently, the male Amazon mentally cursed every magic-crafter that had ever visited his village for the full 17 seconds it took for him to let go of his wires and get free of the torn up Vault's counter-attack. Ridding out the spasms on the floor, Mousse swore on his skill as a Hidden Weapons master to steal every damn thing in that room for this.

Finally managing to get to feet, Mousse began staggering into the Vault. Passing through the doorway, the near-sighted Amazon's eyes bugged out as his blurred sight took in the over-stuffed shelves. '_Holy Hells! Who knew the Mummy had this many magical items!_' Leaning forward, Mousse studied the nearest items. Happily, each item had a little slip of paper with the item's name in Chinese script in front of it. Smiling evilly, Mousse reached into his sleeve and produced a burlap sack. "He he he, let's see that shriveled bitch find me without her precious magic trinkets." Cackling, Mousse began packing the items away, attaching the labels to the items. Quickly though, he really REALLY didn't want to be here when the Mummy got back.

* * *

_6:42 a.m., A short distance from the Tendo Dojo…  
_

Lost in thought, Akane Tendo walked the twisty streets of Nerima with the ease of a life-long resident. As her feet took her closer and closer to home, the short-haired high-school girl continued to ponder the same thing that had kept her away from home all day yesterday; Neko. Well…her sister and Neko. Akane would be the last to begrudge her oldest sister happiness, but that Neko was suspicious. He attacks martial artists and beats them up, he makes friends with _Nabiki_(2) of all people, and then the Sailor Senshi fiasco…she'd really needed time to think about everything. Despite spending the whole day thinking about, and even talking to Sayuri and Yuka about it, Akane still hadn't come to any final decision about the whole mess. Sighing, the woman stirred herself from deep thought in time to turn the last corner on the street to her home.

"Where the hell did she find some of these things?" His voice filled with a mix of awe and frustration, Mousse threw aside the latest magical dew-dad that he couldn't identify - a pile noticeably larger then the pile of things he could. Sighing, the male Amazon looked around the rooftop he'd chosen to use for the sorting of the stolen items. "Good grief, I can't make heads or tails of some of the crap she had. What in all the Hells name is…" Mousse squinted to read a tag a few feet away "a degenerizer?" Growling, Mousse stood up and grabbed the nearest sack, stuffing the things he could ID into it. Once that was done, he started in on the things he couldn't. Once the job was done, all the sacks disappeared into his voluminous sleeves. "Ok. I've got my belongings, supplies, and money. I've swiped the Mummy's stash and I've got to do something with it." Huffing, the robed young man tapped his foot and thought hard. He was still scrambling for an idea when he heard the footsteps. Stiffening up, Mousse quickly tracked them, fearing an attack. '_That's Akane Tendo. What's she doing out this early…and why is she headed home, not to school?_' Seeing her though gave him idea. Grinning, the Amazon(3) started jumping across rooftops heading for the Tendo Dojo. '_It's a rather evil of me, but the Mummy has it coming!_'

* * *

"WHERE AM I NOW!"

Birds scattered into the early morning light as Ryoga, the Eternally Lost Boy, stood in the road, radiating angst much like many a brooding pretty-boy that infested modern pop-culture. Tilting his head back, the fanged martial artist closed his eyes and wallowed in the bitter agony that was his life, thanks to the cruelty of Ranma Saotome. Fists clenching, Ryoga raised one arm to rail at the Heavens themselves.

"Damn you Ranma! Because of you, I've seen Hell!" Holding his dramatic pose so everyone(where ever he was) could see that he truly was suffering horrors.

"Good morning Ryoga." Instantly, the wandering martial artist went from angst to blushing as he heard the sweet voice of his Lady Love. Opening his eyes, Ryoga watched as Akane continued walking along the road, giving him a smile and a small wave as she walked past him. It was all the fighter could do not to giggle at such a gesture. However, Ryoga's rosy daze ended when he saw a figure in all white leap over a nearby alley, following Akane in a parallel path. Rusty mental gears in Ryoga's head kicked on, quickly spitting out a series of facts.

Akane being here meant he was in Nerima. The only person in Nerima who wore all white was Mousse. Mousse was following Akane. It was a very nearly confirmed rumor in Nerima that Mousse had used Akane as bait on a number of occasions. Put together, this meant…

"Damnit Mousse, leave Akane alone you bastard!"

Mousse blinked as Ryoga's bellow echoed off nearby buildings. "Me? Why's that moron yelling at…"

Kr-POW!

Stunned and dizzy Mousse helplessly bounced off the base of a nearby streetlight as a double-hammer strike from the Wandering Martial Artist drove him from the rooftops to the ground level. Groaning, the myopic Amazon pried himself off the sidewalk and glared in his attacker's general direction. "Curse you Ryoga! Why are you attacking me!" Scowling, the fanged fighter hopped down, cracking his knuckles.

"Poor Akane just got free of Ranma's clutches, there's no way I'm going to let you bother her!" Raising one fist up, Ryoga charged. '_Don't worry Akane, I won't let anyone hurt you ever again!_'

Hearing a loud crash behind her, Akane stopped and turned, wondering what could be happening so early in the morning. Seeing Mousse and Ryoga going at it Akane just sighed at turned back, heading home. While she wasn't really all that happy about those two boys fighting, at least it wasn't Ranma picking on someone again. It was a shame that she decided to leave. If Akane had stuck around, she would have been astounded by the ensuing show.

* * *

"Gack!" Flexing his stomach muscles, Mousse barely managed to flop back to the ground, avoiding Ryoga's first swing. Bringing his legs up, the Amazon shoved off the streetlight with his feet and slid up the sidewalk. Arms pumping, Mousse hurled knife after shuriken after 'special weapon' at the other boy, forcing the other fighter to duck and fall back. With a bit of space to work with, Mousse leapt to his feet and crossed his arms, each hand reaching into the opposing sleeves. Grinning, the Hidden Weapons master clenched his fists in preparation.

On the other end of the street, Ryoga brushed himself off, sending a few loose throwing weapons to the street in an almost musical series of _tink_-_tink_-_tink_. Noting Mousse's grin, Ryoga sneered. "I don't know what you think you're grinning about. As long as I'm here, you won't touch a hair on Akane's head!"

Mousse snorted. "And people call me blind. I'm not here to 'touch' Akane Tendo, Ryoga. Now, if you will just step aside, I'll spare you in memory of our many efforts to defeat Ranma Saotome!"

"I don't need mercy from you!" Ryoga shouted back, charging again. As the bandana-wearing martial artist bore down on his foe, he reached up and grabbed his combat umbrella from the top of his ever-present backpack. As he closed in, Ryoga swung his umbrella down in a simple chop. Scoffing, Mousse evaded the attack by jumping up and to the side, landing on the privacy wall separating the sidewalk from someone's yard.

"Fine, Ryoga, let's do this the hard way." Drawing his hands from his sleeves, Mousse flung them forward revealing reinforced leather gloves and glinting, barely visible wires to his fanged opponent. Having NOT heard about the incident school, Ryoga lifted his umbrella to block while laughing at the idea getting defeated by some oh-so-easily snapped wires…right until his solid steel combat umbrella fell into pieces. Very slowly, Ryoga looked down. Most of his trusty umbrella was on the ground, in 5 pieces. Raising what remained the handle up, Ryoga numbly noted the smoothness of the cut. Tilting his head back up the fanged martial artist _stared_.

"…what the _HELL_ was that!" Mousse's expression was far too serene for Ryoga's comfort.

"That, is my greatest technique. It's rather impressive, isn't it? Care to leave now?" Growling, the stunned expression fell off Ryoga's face, replaced with determination. Setting himself, the fanged fighter snarled started pumping large amounts of ki through his body.

"Kiss my ass Mousse! I didn't run from Ranma, and I won't run from you! Shishi Höködan!"

"Yikes!" Eyes bugged out Mousse leapt off the wall and started running. '_Forgot he could do that…I'd better remember this when I kill Ranma._' "Catch me if you can, you moron!" Leaping upwards Mousse sent out one of his wires and snagged a pole holding a banner. Shifting the ki filling wires from 'cut' to merely 'strengthen' Mousse tugged the wire slightly to set it. Still running Mousse felt the faster, stronger boy catching up. Reaching the end of the wire, Mousse hauled hard on it, flying over Ryoga's head and landing back a ways up the street. As the surprised martial artist turned around, Ryoga felt a flash of pain shoot through his leg. With a cry of "Damn you Mousse!", Ryoga charged. He made it several steps before his right leg almost gave out. Straightening back up, Ryoga glanced down and noticed to his frustration that his leg was bleeding from a deep but thin gash on the side of his thigh. Focusing ki into the limb, Ryoga charged again. The bandana-clad martial artist was inches away from strangling the Hidden Weapons master when the blind bastard hauled himself straight up with both hands while axe-kicking. Hitting Ryoga's chin squarely the combined momentum laid the heavier boy out. Mousse dropped down, ignoring the twinge in his now bruised foot. Shifting the ki back to 'cut', Mousse tugged it straight through the pole and drew it into his sleeve before racing down the street.

Snarling angrily, Ryoga slowly rolled on to his front and slapped the ground hard, pushing himself up. "Ok, that's it. I'm going to wring that duck's neck for this!" Tightening his backpack straps, Ryoga ran after Mousse as fast as he could, hell-bent on beating the Amazon weapon-master into paste.

Despite the background sound generated by a stirring city and its citizens early in the morning, Mousse could easily hear Ryoga's graceless but ground-eating stride approaching from the rear for the second time that day. '_Chased twice before the sun's up and Cologne's found what I did to her Vault. This does not bode well for MY day._' Knowing that he probably couldn't see Ryoga even if he turned around, Mousse sent a wire wildly over his shoulder. Hearing a sharp cracking, but no yelping, Mousse tried again, this time getting the hoped for 'Ye-ouch!'. '_I've got to dump all of my new swag somewhere and come back for it later. The magic coming off those trinkets is starting to mess with my Hidden Weapons Technique and I can't afford that if I'm going to end up fighting Ryoga and whatever one of these weakling Japanese fighters that decides to jump in._' Spotting a familiar set of Neriman landmarks(4), Mousse received a Ranma-studying-martial-arts level burst of insight. Reaching into his robes, Mousse produced a military grade smoke grenade(5) and quickly set it off between him and Ryoga. The Lost Boy's curse immediately kicked in and the last Mousse saw of Ryoga that day was the fanged martial artist cursing and charging endlessly at a near perfectly 90 degree angle from their original route. As the last specks that made up Mousse's view of the other boy faded away, the Amazon couldn't shake the nagging feeling that _someone_ somewhere was not going to be happy about missing the man.

* * *

"I'm home!" Smiling contently, Akane slipped off her shoes easily before walking into the dining room. Akane's bright and cheerful smile fell off her face when the only person to greet her was Neko. Twitching, Akane stared at her older sister's pet, wondering where said sister was, and why her pet…_thing_…was sitting on the table. Not taking her eyes off Neko, Akane raised her voice. "Kasumi, where are you? And why is your rabbit sitting on the table?"

Silence greeted her.

"Kasumi!"

"Miyah." Akane turned away from the kitchen door that she'd expected her sister to come from, and focused on the rabbit. Seeing he had her attention, Neko pointed his paw up. "Miyah." Akane twitched. Was the rabbit actually trying to tell her something? How could a rabbit even understand her?

"So…Kasumi is upstairs?" Neko nodded. "You're _telling_ me she's upstairs." Neko nodded again, yawning. Miyahing again, Neko jumped off the table and hopped to the stairs. Trying very hard not to think about the fact that the rabbit was communicating with her, the shocked young woman followed him. Akane had almost finished suppressing that particular train of thought when Neko stopped in front of the door to the Furo.

"Miyah."

Hesitantly, Akane knocked. "Kasumi, are you in there?" Neko hopped away, nearly distracting Akane from her sister's response.

"I'm almost finished Akane. I'll start breakfast in just a few minutes."

"Ok Kasumi. I'm going to unpack my overnight bag before taking a bath myself." Hearing an affirmative answer, Akane headed to her room, barely noticing that Neko wasn't in the hallway anymore. Her mind bringing up an image of what had just happened, Akane clutched her bag to her chest protectively. Why, oh why, did all the freaks come to her home?

* * *

Hopping silently down the hallway, Ranma headed straight for Happosai's room. On the way to the Furo, his sharp little cabbit ears had caught the sound of something thudding to the floor. As he came upon the closed door he heard another thud. Staring at the door, the transformed martial artist felt a smirk pull at his lips. '_I just know I'm gonna hate dealing with whatever that Washu chick wants, but these powers are kinda fun now that I can use 'em. I hope I can copy them when I turn back into a guy._' Coating himself in energy, Ranma poked his head through the door and looked around. The source of the sound was pretty easy to find. Standing in front of Happosai's closet was Mousse, looking distracted and pulling sacks out his sleeves. '_What's that near-sighted pain-in-the-ass doing in the Old Freak's room? And what the hell is in the bags._' Watching the male Amazon open the Freak's closet and shove the bags in, Ranma considered attacking Mousse. The other boys new wire techniques were now among the most dangerous styles that Ranma's rivals knew. Starting a fight in the house right now was a sure bet for mass destruction and as 'Neko' he couldn't afford to piss off Kasumi and Nabiki. Akane might have been Soun's precious baby girl but the older girls still ran the house. Resigned to letting Mousse off the hook this time, Ranma waited until the Amazon had closed the closet and left via the window before moving all the way in. Going through the closet door was barely even a moment's thought with the increasing ease with which his powers were used. In the darkness of the closet Ranma channeled a bit of ki to his eyes in a trick his old man had taught him(6) to see what had been shoved in there moments ago.

Nisshin Seifun Group Inc.

Flour producers since 1900.

FLOUR - 25 kg.

'_If there's actually any flour in there then I'm a magical girl mascot._' It took a bit of chewing to get through the ties on the first bag, but Ranma soon found himself looking into what could only be described as a Sack O Loot, Magic Edition. The combined aura seemed to soak into his fur like sunlight, warmth flooding his body. Shaking off the sensation, Ranma tugged the sack, spilling it's contents on the floor revealing the paper wards sewn on the inside of the sack; the likely culprits for the lack of aura the bag had had before being opened. Ignoring them, Ranma started nosing through the items and promptly ran into the same problem he'd had with Happi's collection; he didn't know what anything did. Oh sure, they all seem to have tags with writing on them that were some kind of labels, but given that he didn't read Chinese(it was probably Chinese, maybe), it mind as well have been gibberish. Opening up the rest of the bags, the black-furred cabbit found that all the items were the same. Sighing, Ranma sat on his haunches, absently gazing at the magical treasure trove while contemplating what he was going to do with it all. The martial artist considered having Nabiki do the translating, but was reluctantly shelving the idea for fear of what the ruthless girl would do with the items when his thoughts were interrupted.

_GROWL gurgle-gurgle_

Huffing in embarrassment despite a lack of witnesses Ranma scratched behind his ears. '_Shoulda realized I was hungry. Didn't think I was that bad though._' Shaking his furry little head, Ranma moved to exit the closet but froze before he could phase through the door. For some inexplicable reason he just couldn't leave the closet. It was like…something was calling him, enticing him. Feeling a bit of apprehension creep up his spine, Ranma slowly turned around. Seeing nothing obvious jump out at him, Ranma actually felt even more nervous. '_This isn't good._'

_GrooWWAA! GURGLE_

'_I'm…I'm not _that _hungry. What the hell is going on here?_' Turning back to the door, Ranma focused everything on trying to get himself to move forward. Shaking, he barely managed a step. '_Notgoodnotgoodnotgood!_' That's when it hit him. It was…heavenly. Full bodied and with more then a bit of kick, it carried a hint of sage and faint undertones of mint. It was mysterious and delectable, easily the most wonderful scent Ranma had ever smelled. It even managed to somehow beat out the butterscotch and double-fudge and chocolate chip cookies that Kasumi made whenever Ranma rescued Akane from being kidnapped by a foreign prince. Hypnotized by the mater-watering, stomach-hijacking aroma Ranma turned about and shuffled to the piled items. Slowly, the mesmerized cabbit hopped to the closest item and stared. Ranma had no clue what it was. Hell, it looked so perfectly ordinary, a simple wooden bead rosary, that he would have never known it was enchanted if it weren't for it's aura. '_I think…think I wanna eat it. Why the heck do I want to eat a rosary?_' Despite the strangeness of the situation, it was undeniable.

He, Ranma Saotome, wanted to eat that wooden rosary.

The funny thing though, the longer he sat there, the less strange it seemed to want to eat it. In fact, he seemed to be getting flashes of a memory. He was in a poorly light place. There were dark shapes scattered about randomly and the spaces between them were illuminated by small bits of light from the dark shapes. As the flashes grew longer and less fragmented, Ranma couldn't see himself, but he could _feel_ himself running, jumping on things. He was running and jumping and in the background he could hear a female voice screaming something about how she was going to strap him down and drug him to his floppy ears. It was easily the weirdest memory he'd ever-

Crunch.

Ranma froze up. '_Ah hell._' Looking down, Ranma saw the rosary in his paws. Following the line of beads with his eyes, the transmogrified martial artist felt a sinking dread as he traced them up to and into his mouth.

Shit. He was fucking eating a piece of magic! He had enough trouble just being exposed to magic on an irregular basis. What was going to happen now that he was actually eating magic! Oh kami, he was in so much-

Crunch.

-tasty. So much tasty, tasty magic. Why was he so upset about this again? What could it hurt to have just a few treats here and there. As good a cook as Kasumi was, he'd always have room for her meals. With a loud slurp, Ranma sucked up the last of the rosary. '_One more couldn't hurt. I mean, I'm a Saotome. If there's one thing a Saotome can do, it's eat._' Quickly, the cabbit latched on to the nearest magic items.

OM NOM NOM!

* * *

Humming softly, Kasumi all but danced around the kitchen, easily piecing together her latest culinary masterpiece. As the meal came together the loving smile on the eldest Tendo daughter's face slowly turned to a frown. The reason for this rather obvious, as Neko was no where in sight. Putting the last touches on yet another perfect breakfast that would yet again be devoured with only the slightest of appreciation Kasumi sighed. Wiping her hands on a cloth the unmarried housewife quietly left the kitchen and began searching the house. Starting in the dining room and ignoring her father, Kasumi drifted through the ground level quickly, not spotting her adorable pet. Ascending the stairs, Kasumi strained her ears, knowing it would be harder to find him in the bedrooms. Walking the hallways, Kasumi decided to start with the only open door; Akane's room. Poking her head in the room, Kasumi noted that Akane was not present, though her school outfit was laid out on the bed. After looking under the bed and in the closet, Kasumi left and tried in Soun's room but found nothing. Her room was next, and Kasumi felt a fluttering hope that her Neko would be there because it was _her_ room, but she had no such luck. Feeling frustrated now, Kasumi walked into Nabiki's room. Spotting Nabiki still asleep Kasumi was very quiet as she opened the closet and peeked under the bed. "Where is he?" Only one room left to search, and outside. Anxiously Kasumi hurried to Happosai's room.

_THUMP!_

Hand on the door, Kasumi paused, wondering if Uncle Happosai had returned home. She decided that he most likely had not and stepped in.

_THUMP!_

Head swiveling, Kasumi strode to the closet and threw it open. There, huddling on the floor, was Neko. "Oh Neko-kun!" Kasumi gushed, squatting to scoop up the cabbit. "What were you doing in there sweetie?" Eyes glazed, Neko looked up at her and belched. Kasumi blinked, then crooned. "Oh baby, does your tummy hurt?" The cabbit nodded. Sympathy welling up on her face, Kasumi rocked her pet, absently noting that he was a little bigger and heavier then yesterday. "Come on Neko-kun, let's go wake Nabiki and serve breakfast then we can see about settling your tummy." Humming, the housekeeper made her way to her sister's room. Waking Nabiki up was a bit of a task, made harder by holding up her now very large for a 'rabbit' pet, but it was managed. Herding a very sleepy and pale looking Nabiki to the dining room, Kasumi was not surprised to see that Akane had joined Father at the table but she was a little startled to see that Genma was not seated for the morning meal. Setting Neko on the cushion next to hers with a pat, Kasumi turned to Soun. "Father, do you know where Uncle Saotome is?"

Looking up from his newspaper for the first time since sitting down at the table, Soun glanced around, confused. "That's odd. Saotome isn't one to miss a meal." Soun looked at his oldest daughter. "Have you checked in the guest room dear?" Kasumi shook her head.

"No father. He said that was locking the door last night. I thought he didn't wish to be disturbed." Ignoring the pensive look on her father's face, Kasumi turned to start tending Neko. Soun's expression troubled, he looked over his daughters wondering where his old friend could possibly be.

"**MOUSSE!**"

Everyone, even Neko and Nabiki, jumped, now wide awake. Looking out the sliding door in shock, the whole group was totally silent. Quiet enough that they all could hear a loud crash and a yelp from nearby.

* * *

_7:23 a.m. Inside the Cat Café…  
_

With a soft click, the door to the café opened. Silently, Cologne pogoed into the restaurant despite the fact that a wooden staff rapping a wooden floor should have made _some_ sound. The elder Amazon maneuvered across the floor easily in the low light, heading straight for the back. Popping into the kitchen, the matriarch was planning to make something for herself and her granddaughter to eat while maintaining the vigil over the Tendo dojo. Before she could get started though, her finely tuned senses pinged. Raising her head, Cologne wondered what was setting her off. Moving quickly and silently, the matriarch checked the doors and the windows, looking for signs of a break-in. When everything seemed intact, the Amazon headed up the stairs and began a room by room check. Throwing open the door to Mousse's room Cologne was greeted by the sight of an empty bed, the leather restraints attached to it sliced clean through.

"Damn it!" Moving even faster, Cologne dashed around the building looking in every room and corner. Paying attention now, she noticed certain missing items, and quickly concluded that the Amazon boy had left…permanently. Swearing loudly in her native tongue, Cologne raced to where she kept her greatest treasures, praying that the boy had either forgotten or ignored them in his hurry to leave. Whipping around the last corner the Elder Amazon was confronted with the sight of her Vault door lying in hundreds of pieces on the floor. Feeling a deep dread come over her, Cologne hopped into the Vault. Every shelf was completely empty, not even a single piece of scrap paper from the labels remained. Eyes closing, the matriarch couldn't help but think of everything that had been in the Vault, every trinket, ring, weapon, tool, necklace, and odd magical item that her family had collected over the course of thousands of years. All of it…gone.

"**MOUSSE!"**

* * *

Akane picked at her rice, attempting to subtly watch everyone at the table. Which basically meant that she stared at her family and remaining houseguest and looked away when they looked up at her wondering what she wanted. The youngest Tendo suspected there was an interesting story about why Genma's clothes were covered in grass stains even though Ranma wasn't here, but she was far more interested in the fact that Kasumi's thing was looking rather ill. He wasn't the only one. Nabiki was looking fairly weak herself, though breakfast had perked her up some. She couldn't blame her though, given the incident yesterday. Akane did wonder how her sister pulled it off. Even _Ranma_ couldn't do anything like that. Glancing at Kasumi fussing over the sickly looking Neko Akane decided to focus on something else. "Where's your school uniform Nabiki?"

Nabiki looked up from her miso soup. "I'm not feeling well, so I'm not going to work today. Right, Kasumi?" Kasumi nodded absently, trying to get Neko to at least nibble on some diced carrot.

"Nummy nummy Neko. Isn't carrot your favorite?" The cabbit Miyah'ed softly, taking only a bite from Kasumi's offering. Crooning in worry, Kasumi lifted Neko up and rubbed noses with him, comfortingly baby-talking to him. Slightly disgusted with the scene, Akane quickly decided she was done, pushing her dishes to the side and grabbing her things to leave.

The walk to school was very peaceful, a recent change that Akane loved. Smiling at passersby, including the ladle lady, the only dark spot was walking by doctor Tofu's old office. It was just a passing cloud though, quickly forgotten when Yuka and Sayuri greeted her at the gate. Happiness proved to be fleeting, as the local annoyance drifted by and opened his trap.

"Verily, Akane Tendo, the Heavens shine brightly this day in honor of your beauty!" Tuning out the older boy out Akane leaned in as her friends gestured for her to come closer.

"Where's Nabiki's cute little bunny rabbit? He'd take care of this silly blow-hard." Akane frowned.

"It's Kasumi's rabbit, and they're both home sick." Yuka and Sayuri aww'd. Turning back to Kuno, Akane cleared her throat. "Tatewaki-san. Class starts soon. Do you mind moving out of the way?" He didn't move, but at least she didn't look like a bitch for shoving him out of the way after asking first. Any thoughts that Akane might have had about having a normal or quiet day despite Kuno's presence were squashed shortly after walking into the classroom.

"Ms. Tendo! Where is my assistant and the adorable little bunny rabbit?"

* * *

Nabiki stepped downstairs around noon feeling much more like herself. After an unusually quiet breakfast the middle Tendo had disappeared back into her room, quickly falling asleep. Given how quiet the house was during the day, it came as no surprise to her that she didn't stir until the smell of lunch made it's way to her nose. Taking her place at the table with a yawn, Nabiki forced herself to study everyone else. On her right, the father's were sitting passively, eating lunch and ignoring Neko. Soun was at least. Genma watched the cabbit like a hawk, occasionally rubbing his ribs and wincing. The cabbit himself, on her left, was once again barely eating. Kasumi was across the table and fussing over Neko. The meal passed without incident, though near the end, Kasumi was starting to give her odd looks. Hoping to make a clean get away, Nabiki silently piled her dishes and stood, heading for the stairs. She'd just put her foot on the first step when…

"Nabiki, wait a moment!" Sighing, Nabiki turned around. Kasumi was approaching, struggling a bit to carry Neko. Nabiki waited impatiently as the two stopped in front of her. "Nabiki, you're going back upstairs to rest after lunch, aren't you?" Nabiki nodded. "Well, would you do me a favorite and take Neko with you? He's had a tummy ache all morning, and I don't want him to be by himself, but I have all sorts of things I have to do today and I can't carry Neko and buy groceries and-!" Nabiki raised her hand to cut off her older sister's babbling, probably the only time she'd ever seen her do that.

"Sure, sure Kasumi. We'll cuddle up and sleep the afternoon away." Waving away her sister's thanks, Nabiki held out her arms for the cabbit. "Oof!" Staggering under the sudden weight, the number's runner wondered when the hell the not-so-little-any longer guy had put on this much mass. Back at the table, Genma glared angrily at the departing creature sticking out over Nabiki's shoulder. He hadn't forgotten his unique wake up this morning. Having not seen the exchange, Nabiki made her way up the stairs and to her room. Setting the sluggish cabbit on her bed, she soon joined him. Positioning herself to be able to watch her family's latest houseguest, Nabiki gave a soft mental 'push' in Neko direction. Almost fully recovered, Nabiki felt it was time to get some answers. "You awake Neko?" The cabbit stirred, but didn't respond. Thinking over the way the two had been communicating, Nabiki decided to try something. Curling up a little more, Nabiki pressed her forehead to Neko's and clumsily attempted to 'push' her thoughts towards his.

^Are you all there?^ Startled by this unexpected success, Nabiki nearly missed his response.

^Nabiki…'s that you?^

^It is. This is certainly going to be useful.^ The slumberous creature opened one of his eyes, staring into Nabiki's.

^ I thought we figured out ya couldn't do this kind of thing?^ Nabiki shrugged.

^Maybe I wasn't doing it right. Or…^ Nabiki let this last word linger, gaze boring heavily into the cabbit's. ^…maybe that little incident at school changed something?^ Neko closed his eye, possessing more then enough experience with Nabiki to not like where this was going. It didn't help that he felt so sleepy, or that he could barely move. And the things he saw! Insanely complex mathematical formula, odd shadowed shapes, strange views of celestial bodies. It was enough to make it almost impossible to concentrate, a very bad thing when dealing with someone like Nabiki who loved puzzles and mind games.

^Don't ask me…I don't know.^ Nabiki twitched.

^Don't you know anything about your own powers! How many times do I have to hear 'I don't know'?^

^Shut up or I'll throw up in your bed. Just wanna sleep.^ Nabiki sighed. Despite her frustration, she couldn't really push it too much. Whatever Neko was, he definitely had the upper hand on her. And, if she was honest with herself, Nabiki was _very_ intrigued about these powers that she had manifested since making that bargain with him. Moments later, Nabiki's eyes snapped open. Wait. A bargain. Powers manifesting? Oh sweet kami, just what had she done?

* * *

_4:45 p.m. Cherry Hill Shrine…_

It was a dreary group of young ladies trudging up the steps of the shrine, non-existent storm clouds raining on Usagi's, Makoto's, Minako's, and even Ami's heads. During the day, each girl had been contacted by Setsuna and told to come to the shrine at a quarter to 5 to 'discuss' yesterday's debacle. Understandably, they were not looking forward to it. Dragging their feet helped stall, but eventually, the girls entered the main house. There was a bit shoving when they got to the door to their regular meeting room, ending with Usagi being forced to open it.

"Eek!" Careful, the other girl's peered around a paralyzed Usagi.

"Eek!"

"Urk!"

"Uh-oh…"

"Eepp!"

Seated in an armchair, Setsuna Meioh stared directly at the door, hands bridged in a distinctly Gendo-isk manner. While that was a little unnerving, it was the look in her eyes that was utterly, undergarment-staining terrifying. Those glaring red orbs seemed to dig straight into their minds and then hijack the most primal parts of their minds, wildly mashing the panic buttons.

It was…unpleasant.

Setsuna held the visual lock for several minutes before waving them to the couches. It might have been cruel but the Time Guardian wanted this meeting to start on the right foot; the girls too frighten too lie to her. This whole mess had the possibility of turning into a very delicate situation if not handled properly, the sort of thing that becomes a direct threat to Crystal Tokyo's future. The fact that it involved a Chaos Generator made it oh so much worse. Out of the corner of her eyes, Setsuna could see that the Outer Senshi were starting to get bored and twitchy. Deciding to get started before the Outers(Haruka) could say something to ruin the atmosphere, Setsuna cleared her throat again. "Alright girls, let's get started. Would any of you care to explain just what you were doing yesterday?" Haruka and Michiru both quirked their eyebrows curiously though Hotaru just tilted her head. There were grimaces and pouts but the younger girls began explaining the whole situation, the old lady, her talk about the demon, heading over to Nerima to take care of it, and then finally the fiasco that was the fight. On the loveseat with Michiru, Haruka was struggling not to burst into laughter.

"A r-rabbit? 'Snort' You got beaten up by a rabbit?" The blonde was moments away from breaking down into hysterical laughter when Setsuna snapped at her.

"Haruka, be quiet! There are factors at work here that you know nothing about!" That got everyone's attention.

"What factors?" Michiru murmured reaching for her partner's hand. Setsuna sighed wishing that the other Senshi had recovered more of their past lives memories. It would have made this much easier to take care of.

"Alright, listen up girls. The explaination and reasons for this will be simple enough, but our plan for dealing with situation will much harder by the simple virtue of who is involved. The 'rabbit demon' you encountered was not a demon at all. It was, in fact, a type of being known as a Chaos Generator. Because of their nature, each Chaos Generator looks very different, being anything from a fly to a whale and anything in between, including people. They act as individuals as well. They can behave in almost any manner, though I have found that most tend to be friendly or at least reasonable. However, I would very strongly recommend that in the future you girls leave any Chaos Generator you encounter alone, as you should in the first place." As Setsuna glared at the Inners, Haruka spoke up.

"So, I take it that the Inners mixing it up with this little Chaos guy is worse then it seems?" The Time Guardian groaned.

"You have no idea. The last time I managed to truly piss off a Chaos Generator it caused the Salem Witch Trials. That entire mess set back the potential for diplomatic relationship between magical communities and the common man for almost a thousand years." The girls stared wide-eyed.

"You started the Witch Trials?"

"No!" She snapped back. "It's just that…people got frightened because of some things that the Generator and I were doing. At no point did either of us suggest that the locals start an inquisition!" The red-eyed woman sighed and sank into her chair. "It was terrible. So much fear and hate. Innocent people being killed for no reason at all. All my best efforts managed to accomplish was ending it a little early." Looking uncomfortable, Usagi made vague gestures as she spoke.

"Couldn't you just…you know, fix everything?" Setsuna glared.

"I'm neither omniscient or omnipotent your Highness. By the time the fight between me and the Chaos Generator was over, the memory of the event was firmly imbedded. Add in the presence of such strong and natural Chaos to counter-act my power…there was nothing I could do for years afterwards." Straightening back up, Setsuna leveled an intense look at the others. "This is why you will all be following my plan."

"Err, what's the plan?" The Time Guardian's cheek twitched.

"I'm not entirely sure yet. I do know that ALL of you will be avoiding the Nerima district in the near future. Hopefully he'll not be the vengeful sort and all of this can smoothed over with an apology."

Minako waved her hand to catch everyone's attention. "Um, what about the girl he was with? She seemed mad enough to chew fire and breathe nails!"

"It's chew nails and breathe fire Minako. She has a point though. That girl wasn't pleased with us and was throwing around some odd abilities herself. Not to mention the fact she seemed to be good friends with the rabbit Chaos Generator."

"I suppose we'll have to deal with that, but for now we will have to leave the matter alone. I haven't a clue who she is and if she is friends with the Chaos Generator then the Gates won't tell me anything about her. For now, let's try and think of ways to make it up to the Generator you attacked."

The shifted uncomfortably, wondering how they were going to make up something like that to a rabbit.

* * *

Stuffed from a silent dinner, Nabiki made her way upstairs noting that Akane had seated herself in front of the TV with the fathers while Kasumi cleaned up. Having been woken up just in time for the meal, the middle Tendo daughter was only now thinking over the possibility that had occurred to her earlier that day. It was a chilling thought, if her theory panned out, and to test it she'd had to waste time reassuring Kasumi that Neko was happily sleeping off his tummy ache in her bed. The sharp-witted girl knew though, that Kasumi would not remain separated from Neko much longer and that bringing him to school tomorrow was not likely to happen. Stepping into her room and locking the door, Nabiki braced herself for what could end up being a brutal confrontation. She wasn't planning on just relying on her wits though, having snuck one of the sutras that worked on Neko earlier out of her father's small collection just in case. Setting herself in the same position from that afternoon, Nabiki prepared herself to get some answers.

^Wake up lazy, we need to talk.^ It took some prodding to get him to stir, but finally the furry beast was awake.

^What do ya want now Nabiki?^

^To finish our conversation Neko. You remember it don't you?^ Neko scratched himself, moving and sounding more coherent then he had earlier.

^Not really. Something about the school?^

"Exactly." She whispered, reverting to actually talking so she could concentrate on her thoughts. "I want to know everything you know about what happened between me and the Senshi, and I won't be deterred this time." Neko huffed out loud, not happy but resigned having known that she would dig for answers eventually.

^Fine fine. Where do ya wanna start?^

"First off, what the hell did you do to the Sailor Senshi that they tracked you down and tried to kill the both of us!" The cabbit winced at the pitch and tone of Nabiki's snarled question.

^I didn't do nothing! One of their little friends picked me up and tried to make me her pet, one of their older friends said no and threw me out. I didn't even meet that group of the girls until they attacked!^

Nabiki gave him a gimlet look, but let it go for the moment. "Fine. You said you're something called a cabbit. That some kind of demon?" As she asked the question, Nabiki fingered the Spirit Ward hidden behind her back, ready to use it and run at a moment's notice.

Ranma growled at her. ^I ain't no demon! I hate demons! They're always causing trouble and then I'm the one that's got to deal with 'em! Do you know how annoying it is to be stuck cleaning up EVERYONE else's messes? There are people I'ma 'bout ready to strangle 'cause they can't stay outta trouble damn it!^

Nabiki blinked. "So…you're some kind of protective spirit?"

Ranma snorted. ^I've been know to rescue a few women. And children.^ The was added as an afterthought, nearly forgetting a few unpleasant encounters. Nabiki thoughts spun for a bit, her steel trap of a mind putting a few things together(7).

"So, just what did Kasumi do that rated a magical guard beast?"

Ranma stared, blankly at first, wondering what the hell she was talking about. Luckily his new and improved brain kicked in before he put his foot in his mouth yet again and showed him just what she was talking about. It only took him a moment to come out with a hair-brained scheme; for good or for bad, hair-brained schemes were one of his better talents.

^You don't want to know.^ Ranma acted disinterested knowing that Nabiki wouldn't be able to help herself from asking. She was far to obsessed with learning people's secrets.

"Yes I do! Now spill!"

^If you really want to know…she didn't do anything.^

Nabiki blinked, mouth opening and closing a few times as she tried to think through that one. "She didn't…_do_…anything?"

^Basically.^ He thought, shrugging. ^She's always been nice and sweet. Kind and helpful to everyone. She's the nicest person in a district know for high-end martial arts battle and yahoos who don't always watch where they're aiming.^ A thought occurred to him, and quickly pounced on it. ^I'm basically here until that Ranma guy gets back to take over, whenever that is.^

Nabiki's eyes widened. "That's why you asked about him! You were trying to cover your bases by figuring what he usually did." Nabiki eyes then narrowed to a slit as something dawned on her. "If you're supposed to be protecting her, then why are you spending all this time with me? Shouldn't you be by her side?" Ranma couched uncomfortably, thinking fast.

^I might have ate something that didn't agree with me.^

"That doesn't explain yesterday! You were following me all over the place even before you started acting sick."

Ranma huffed. '_Come on brain, I need a good one or she's gonna try and have me skinned alive for 'endangering' Kasumi!_' ^Where do most of your problems start?^

"What?"

^You heard me, where do most of your problems start? You know, the big messy ones that trash everything?^

"Ranma usually, or his idiot father. But one isn't here and the other hasn't caused many problems lately."

^…and?^

"And what! Those two bottomless pits are the ones always stirring things up!"

Ranma easily ignored the bottomless pit comment; he'd been called far worse and it was mostly true anyways.

^And what, ya never had any problems before them? Can ya look me in the eyes and say that?^ Quirking an eyebrow was a little difficult as a cabbit, but it made the impact he wanted. Nabiki heaved a sigh and admitted defeat.

"There might have been a few incidents involving Daddy and Akane." Ranma nodded.

^That's why I'm with you most of the time. You're not in the line of fire usually, and you always try to find out the juicy bits of any situation so ya make a good whatcha-mah-call it…command center.^ Ranma thought it was a brilliant excuse.

"'Command Center'? Not much of a guard dog are you? Afraid to do some dirty work?"

^I'm a cabbit. We're small, cute, and furry. I'm much better just blasting things 'cause that growing trick has a few drawbacks. Ya don't like it, tough. I'd like to see you apply for a new Guardian.^

Nabiki wasn't happy about getting lip from what was essentially a beefed up rabbit, but he some decent points and getting blasted wasn't on her list of things to do today. "Fine, but I'm watching you." Ranma rolled his eyes. Like she hadn't been watching him already. "Alright. Now that that's out of the way, what do you know about all that crap I was doing at school?" Ranma shrugged.

^Nothin'. I'm an expert at internal energy manipulation, not whatever that was. Heck, I don't even know what that's called. Kinda cool though.^ Placing her hands on both sides of Neko's head and pressed in until there wasn't an inch between them.

"You do know _anything_? Anything at _all_?"

'_Ok, that's a little scary._' ^I know whatever it is draws on your life-force for power, and that you can tap mine if I'm willing.^ Nabiki gave one of his jowls a pat.

"See how hard that was. Now we have something to work with. Tomorrow, we'll ask some questions, try a few things and using our brains to solve this mystery, ok?"

Ranma grumbled. ^You don't have to be so sarcastic about it ya know.^

"Yes I do." She dead-panned back before pushing away. "I don't how much you've recovered, but you better get some sleep. We're going to wake up early tomorrow and interrogate Uncle Saotome and Daddy before they're fully awake. Now, excuse me while I go get ready for bed." Grumbling to himself Ranma hopped out of the bed and headed for his. He was still feeling a little off. Sleeping the last of his illness off seemed like a good idea. It was a bit of a shame that he was not at his best, or he probably would have heard the very quiet buzzing outside the window, or sensed the small void in the Wa of the house.

* * *

On top of a small hill in the quietest and most isolated part of Nerima sat a large and traditionally styled manor. A stylish polished bronze sign next to the front gate proudly declared this the Kuno residence. Past the well-kept yard and innumerable traps lay the manor house itself. Lavish and generally tasteful(8), the ancestral Kuno home is lovingly cared for by a platoon of servants, each trained in the ninja arts of stealth in order to avoid upsetting the sensibilities of the notoriously unstable clan members. Deep inside the building, a conference room is one of the few parts of the building with the lights still on. The interior of the room is utterly trashed, with almost nothing left intact. Moving about this mess gathering what papers and documents that were still undamaged is Sasuke, personal ninja and whipping bitch of Tatewaki and Kodachi Kuno. The rat-faced ninja was still awake at this hour for a single reason; the Kuno clan lawyers had met in the room earlier today. Each member of the family employed their own legal staff for privacy's sake and the various groups rarely met due to the fact that they all practiced rival schools of the dreaded Red Tape style of Martial Arts. The ensuing battles were never pretty and dangerous to the wallets of all nearby, participants and by-standers a like.

"I wish the mistress had been clearer when sending the newest servant to picked up the family lawyers. I could have been sound asleep on my mat if not for this mess!" Sighing the sigh of the hopelessly downtrodden, the small ninja reached to pick up yet another proposal for mistress Kodachi's plan and hit a slipper-clad foot. Freezing in place, the diminutive ninja cranked his eyes upwards noting the blue trimmed white robes before catching sight of the intruder's face.

"Mousse! What are you doing in the Master and Mistress's home? How did you even manage to get in here!" The Hidden Weapons Master gave an evil grin, the malevolence in his eyes clear even through his coke-bottle glasses.

"Don't be so upset Sasuke. I've come to make an offer to my brother in arms…"

* * *

1.) Given the number of goodies Cologne always seemed to have on hand in the series, I always got the impression that all the elders had personal stashes that they kept and took care of. And if Cologne hasn't learned to locked up her stuff around young and nosy martial artists in her life span, then there's no hope for the Amazons at all.

2.) Akane loves both her sisters…but you don't live with people your whole life and not get a pretty good idea of what they're like.

3.) He's still an Amazon till they exile him from the village.

4.) Scorch marks in strange places, isolated structural damage, mix-matched color roof tiles, etc.

5.) Gotta love those U.S. Army Surplus shops!

6.) Most people get a little bit of improvement in their night vision given the limits of human biology. Ranma on the other hand had the night sight of a cat. A berserker mode and a fear of feline wasn't the only thing the Neko-ken training gave him. Incidentally, I'm mentioning this fact because it will have an effect on his ship form. You'll have to wait if you want to see just what effect this little fact has.

7.) Nabiki is one of the most observant and intelligent people in Nerima but remember; she's working on incomplete information and a few outright lies.

8.) The Kuno's are easily distracted about anything but their obsession, a family trait. This prevents them from altering the mansion too much towards their personal tastes. They've managed to make a few alterations in rooms they regularly use however.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Ding-dong the block is dead, the wicked block, the wicked block, the wicked block, ding-dong the wicked writer's block is dead! I got to say though, as blocks and barriers go, this one was a real beauty!

Now that I got the silliness out, time for the real commentary, of which there probably won't be much. I never really know what you guys wanna know about till you ask right? The usual apologies all around about the length of time it took to get this stubborn little bugger out; I suck, I know this, I accept this, life continues to march on my hopes and dreams.

As you can see, this has really started branching out and has started to actually go places. Quite a few of you have been very eager to see Ranma really start in on his cabbit powers and I am pleased to announce that I finally wrote up to the point were I felt comfortable letting him loose with them. It took a bit to provide with appropriate fodder for it but Ranma-ohki is lining up on the runway! Expect to see him develop his ship form soon, a few other tricks shortly thereafter. Yes, his gender-swapping WILL kick back on again at some point, but not for some time and you can bet Ranma won't like that at all!

You might be wondering about Setsuna's talk with the girls, but I can't explain it other then saying that it felt right(shrug). As for the camera bit, the Tenchi crowd has never displayed spectacular sneaking skills, where as Ranma is almost constantly ambushed. I expounded on Nabiki's abilities a bit, but honestly, that kind of thing is waaaay outside the general group experience and studies. It's going to take some real work to figure that out. FYI, the meltdown at school DID boost her telepathic sensitivity. She is not, and never will be a mind reader though. That kind of thing is far too easily abused in her hands.

One final bit. My sign off of Theoretically Yours has filled out his three chapter tour of service and is headed into retirement. I have already selected his successor who you'll meet in chapter 10. See ya then!

Theoretically Yours,

Tigee86

* * *

**Omakes…**

Purposed by Borg Rabbit, written by myself:

"Do I really have to do this?" Sighing as Usagi whined, _again_, Setsuna continued to push the reluctant younger girl to the designated meeting spot. The rest of the Sailor Senshi followed, each girl either amused(Haruka mostly) or concerned. Turning into the correct lot, all of the women could see the individuals they'd come to meet. The girl, a short-haired brunette, looked incredibly relaxed considering who she was meeting. The ease most likely had something to do with her adorable, if dangerous, companion who lounged on her shoulder, nibbling on a carrot. Girl and rabbit watched the Senshi approaching with smirks on their faces, despite rabbits not actually possessing the facial muscles to do so. Finally, the two groups stood a short distance from each other. Usagi turned slightly and tried her hand at getting out of this one last time. "Pwwwease, Setsuna, don't make me?"

The Time Guardian sighed. "I'm not your father princess. I won't let you wiggle out of this because you pouted a little."

"But it's so EMBAREASSING! There's got to be something else I could do?" Setsuna shook her head.

"No. It has to be like I showed you. My research indicates that it is an appropriate gesture of repentance, and I do NOT want to deal with a slighted Chaos Generator just because you didn't want to make a fool of yourself to an audience of two."

"But-!"

"No buts! Do it!" Sighing, Usagi moved a little ahead of her friends, and ignoring a few sparse giggles, dropped to her knees, arms raised straight up.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" Bowing low enough to touch her hands, and almost her forehead, Usagi managed to perform an adequate 'Crouch of the Fallen Tiger' technique to girl and rabbit. Allowing the show to finish and the other girls to stop giggling, the human recipient of the Crouch cleared her throat.

"While seeing the 'Crouch of the Fallen Tiger' is always entertaining, why are you girls here when the Sailor Senshi are due any moment to repeat this little display?"

Paling, the assembled Senshi looked at her each other, and each other's outfits noting that they were in fact in their civvies. Swearing in a long dead language or two Setsuna face palmed; it just wasn't her week.

* * *

Brainstormed by Kaiya Eri Ishikawa, fleshed out by me:

"You're going to be a star my dear! And so are you and you and you!" Giggling in perverse delight Jiraiya of the Sannin continued to sketch and write wildly as he was 'inspired'. While not a truly talented artist, he wasn't half bad, and he'd found over the years that putting down small sketches of his 'models' helped the later editorial processes. Moaning and drooling, the self-proclaimed Super-Pervert was adding a few details about a ravishing raven-haired beauty's fabulous ass when the lecherous ninja felt his pelvis ache. His notebook and pen disappeared in an instant, his presence going from horny fool to legendary assassin even quicker.

What few people knew(or believed, one of the two), was that Jiraiya wasn't just blowing smoke when he loudly sang and bragged about being a Sage. He truly was a master of Senjutsu, having devoted years of study to those intensely spiritual arts. The reason for that sudden focus at what for most would be a minor twinge was very simple; Something Was About to Happen. All Sages, in time, learned to sense the moods of the Universe so to speak. Be it Fate, Destiny, or Lady Luck, an experienced Sage could feel the winds of change blowing. It was all a matter of learning to perceive the shift. For Jiraiya, it was that little twinge around his hips, where Tsunade hit him full-force for the first after he noticed her finally developing chest - also the for the first time. Hearing a faint buzzing sound, Jiraiya leapt to a more defensible position on the ground…and straight into the narrow red beam of light jetting through the local streets.

_ZAP!_

It took Jiraiya seconds to figure out that something had happened, a mere minute to pin down the extent of the change, and almost an hour to admit he couldn't do anything about it. The newly minted cabbit was plotting an attempt at getting a message to Konoha when he heard foot steps. Making some odd sound of surprised, the toad Sage prepared to run for it, thinking that someone had come to finish him off, but he didn't succeed.

"Look at the bunny Junko! Isn't he adorable?" With the shift in perspective, it took a moment, but a Super-Pervert would recognize such a fine set of boobs anywhere. Drooling, the lusty ninja snuggled straight into the woman chest. Moments later, he sprouted a nosebleed when one of her friends mentioned taking into the hot spring with them.

'_You love me…the universe really loves me!'_


	10. 10, or The Fuse is Burning Down

**Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah!**

**Disclaimer**: Welcome back my pets! As promised, I have a surprise for you all. Theoretically has been slain, and thus, a new signoff must be press-ganged into service. You'll see the new meat at the bottom of the page. In the mean time, the author of Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah owns nothing from the anime/manga mentioned hereafter. If you're looking for cannon, move it along buster!

**Intro**: As you may have noticed, chapter 9 of RSDM and two chapters of my new story Naruto the Black Blade came out rather close to each other compared to my normal rate of releases. The reason for this is very simple and involves getting 16 or less hours of sleep in a 7 day(168 hour) period. Needless to say, I had a lot of time on my hands and I channeled a lot of it into writing. It was not enough, however, and the remaining stress built up on me to the point my body refused to sleep even as I started to get sick from the strain I was under. I finally came down from it all as a burning wreck and for the first time in 6 years I'm going back to therapy to see if whatever my problem really is can be pinned down and if it's manageable. I write all of this not only because it's cathartic but because therapy and eventually attempts at chemical management will probably affect my writing. Good or bad remains to be seen, but if I lose whatever talent I had in order to finally be in control of my life, then I will miss this very much and I wish you guys all the inspiration you could ever want.

"Normal Speech"

'_Inner Thoughts'_

^Telepathy^

#Foreign Languages#

"Speech by Empowered Beings" a.k.a. Speaking spirits, kami, demons, and humans emitting power at high levels.

* * *

Seated at the family table, Nabiki schemed.

It wasn't anything too wild or sinister, but Nabiki _did_ want Neko to come with her to school. Since it was Saturday, it was only a half day of class, but as a TA, she lingered at the facility longer then the students and after that run-in with the Sailor Senshi Nabiki didn't care to be too far away from what amounted to the family guardian. Ok, so he was _technically_ Kasumi's Guardian Spirit but he seemed willing to cover her if he was close by. Unfortunately, Kasumi's usual generosity no longer appeared to extend to loaning out her 'bunny' to her younger sister. Nabiki had just hinted about taking Neko with her to Furinkan and Kasumi had responded by staring at her until the subject was dropped. Sweet and gentle Kasumi was not exactly an example of what people thought of as intimating but her disappointed looks and expectant stares could make even someone like Genma behave. So, here she sat, plotting to lure Neko into following her. Unfortunately, the cabbit didn't seem to be game for whatever she tried. Her projected thoughts and comments elicited nonsensical comments or disjointed thoughts in return. He almost sounded drunk, though she couldn't figure how he would have gotten that way since Soun and Genma had finished the last of the house stash yesterday.

"Nabiki, aren't you going to be late?" Glancing at the small clock that sat in the dining room, Nabiki cursed and scrambled to her feet. It looked like she would have to run to school to be on time. Akane appeared to have slipped out already the middle Tendo daughter noted as she dashed out the door. Heading down the block, Nabiki decided to send the cabbit one last thought.

^You better not be hitting the sauce while you're guarding my sister, or I _will_ find a way to report this to your superiors.^

^Base component rendering process - 57% completed. Unknown waste material affecting internal processes - preparing to purge.^ Nabiki nearly ran headfirst into a telephone pole when _that_ little chestnut came back to her.

'_What the HELL is that about?_'

* * *

Back in the Tendo home, Genma and Soun watched as Kasumi disappeared into the kitchen, carrying the morning meal's dishes. The moment the young woman was out of sight, the two foolish fathers drew wards from behind their backs, ready to give banishing the 'Kitsune' a try now that they were sober. Tensing, the men lunged towards Neko. Sensing aggression, Ranma turned to face his attackers. Feeling stuffy-headed and sleepy, Ranma merely blinked at the two men; why were they so mad?

'_Waste material at maximum capacity; purging material._'

**BBBB**_**BBBUUUUUUURRPPPPP!**_

Mid-jump, both men flinched at the incredibly loud and forceful sound. They would have continued their attack regardless if it weren't for the prismatic colored vapors that poured out of the furry little beast's mouth. Acting strangely, the vapors moved lazily across the room, drifting against the air currents. Deciding that this demanded a certain level of caution, both men used their advanced training to change their flight path and land away from Neko.

"Most ominous."

"You said it Tendo. Is this some sort of attack?" Staring at the multi-colored cloud, neither man was prepared for what happened when a tendril of the vapor reached down to touch the dining table. With a strange crackling, all of the vapor was pulled down into the table where it was absorbed. As the vapor was pulled in, its hues spread over the surface of the table, converting the wood into what appeared to be crystal. It did not just stop at the outside of the table either. As Soun and Genma watched, the crystal expanded inwards until the martial artists could see all the way through the piece of furniture to the floor, if just barely with the wild coloration. Paling, the two men tore their eyes away from the transformed table and stared at Neko, who stared back lazily.

"Genma, perhaps we should adjourn to another location. It seems too fine a day to waste indoors, right old friend?" Genma managed to force a laugh.

"Too right Tendo! To the park!" Both men hustled away swiftly, deciding that dignity mattered little in the face of petrifaction. Shortly afterwards, Kasumi returned from the kitchen. The homemaker wasn't surprised to see that the fathers were missing. They often went out for one reason or another, whether it was drinks or to scrounge up money. Reaching for the next load of dishes, Kasumi gasped upon seeing what happened to her table.

"Oh my, how lovely!" Neko miyahed quietly. Smiling, Kasumi scooped up her pet and hugged him to her bosom. "Come on Neko-kun. Let's put you in the kitchen so you keep me company while I wash up." Neko nuzzled against her, blinking sleepily. "Ooh, you're so adorable Neko-kun!" Cooing at her pet, Kasumi felt a swelling of love. It felt so good to baby something, to lavish something with all the love she had. Kasumi just didn't know what she would do if he ever left her…

* * *

Listening to Hinako babble excitedly about the English language to her bored class, Nabiki idly played with a pencil. Saturdays were easy days for her, leaving the TA with far too much time to think. Neko and her new-found abilities dominated her thoughts. Nabiki was a clever woman, and had spent most of her life manipulating the people around her. You didn't get to be as successful at that sort of thing as she was without learning something about yourself along the way. One of the things that Nabiki had learned about herself was that she was envious of her baby sister. There were many good reasons for her envy. Akane was the darling of Soun's eye, incapable of doing any wrong. Akane was the heir of the family school, she was the one who was taught everything. She was given everything she needed or wanted, while Nabiki and Kasumi were forced to work for everything they got. And finally, it was Akane that everyone loved and fought for, the one that was the center of attention, no matter where she went. If Nabiki were a more passionate person, she might very well have come to hate her little sister. Instead, Nabiki merely envied her, and subtly arranged for her suffer the brunt of whatever weird or inane events happened to the Tendo's. Now, though, it seemed that it was her turn to be the star of the family drama. Sighing, Nabiki accidentally applied too much pressure on the pencil in her hand and sent the writing tool flying across the room. Scowling in annoyance, Nabiki debated if she should bother to getting up to fetch the thing. That's when she had an idea. Careful examining the class and seeing no one really paying any attention, the TA set her gaze on the pencil and began focusing.

_Click_

Nabiki smiled, watching the pencil twitch and shake, oh so very slowly making its way across the classroom. It was harder then she would have liked to get the thing to move at all, but she COULD get the pencil to move all on her own. Watching it roll up to her desk, Nabiki pointed, increasing her focus.

_Thwack!_

Hinako's speech trailed off as the entire class craned their necks up to stare at the ceiling where Nabiki's pencil quivered with the force that had embedded it in the ceiling tile. Glancing down from it, Nabiki found herself being stared at by the entire class. "What?" She snapped angrily, "You never get bored and play with your study material?" The students quickly looked away. No matter how interesting whatever just happened might be, it wasn't worth crossing Nabiki. Hinako stared a little longer, but soon returned to teaching English class. Blowing out a sigh, Nabiki craned her head back and stared at the pencil. It seemed she needed to work on her control.

* * *

Sighing, Nabiki stepped out of Furinkan's main building, a satchel over one shoulder containing tests and papers she was to grade before tomorrow. Clutched in one hand was a very battered pencil. By the time she managed to get ready to leave for the day, Nabiki had made considerable progress on the most basic uses of her new skill, power, or whatever it could be called. As far as she could tell, it was all a function of focus and concentration. As long as she was 'aware' of an item, she could move it. As long as she had the energy to do so anyways. Moving the pencil around hadn't been very draining, though after several hours of it, she felt that she was in need of a nap. Still, it was a red-letter day for her; she'd taken a step towards being able to deal with the local nut-jobs on an even footing!

"Greetings, Nabiki Tendo. You seem in high spirits. Is it because you've recently taken your witchcraft to new levels?" Nabiki froze, the familiar high-pitched voice sending shivers down her spine. Normally, dealing with Kodachi was as simple if annoying as dealing with Tatewaki, but that mention of witchcraft…this could not end well. Plastering a casual smirk on her face, Nabiki turned to face Kodachi.

"That seems a harsh accusation coming from someone who plays with poisons and drugs. Perhaps the Greater Tokyo Metro Police would like to know who was behind that 'terrorist attack' last week that paralyzed 47 people?" Kodachi laughed manically, causing nearby animals to flee.

"Oh, and maybe those same fine gentlemen would care to discuss the source of the child pornography that's been floating around Nerima for the last year or two. They have been _very_ eager to find the person who has been exploiting children in such an abusive manner." Nabiki flinched. The fact that so many of her money-making activities were highly illegal had never quite sunk into the minds of the local martial artists. Strangely, they all seemed to regard her as a minor annoyance at best. Suddenly facing the threat of legal action was unsettling.

"What do you want, Kodachi?" It came out a little harsher and more emotional then she would have liked. Kodachi smirked.

"Oh, it's quite simple, peasant. I want you to die so that I might make a pact with Belathor. Do that for me, won't you?" Nabiki's eyes widened as Kodachi produced a gymnastic ribbon from somewhere on her person. "Oh hohoho! DIE!" Screaming, Nabiki threw up her hands as the ribbon snapped at her, gleaming in the sunlight.

_BONG!_

Kodachi goggled at the sight of her ribbon bouncing off an invisible wall, ripples disturbing the air like a pond after a rock is thrown in.. "What in Kami's name is that?"

Nabiki's eyes cracked open, feeling a heavy drain on her energy. Noting the ribbon drifting to the ground, and the fading ripples, the young woman decided that it was time to practice what little martial arts she knew.

"Saotome School of Anything Goes Final Attack…!" Kodachi's head snapped up in shock at the words, wondering how in blazes that…that _mercenary_ managed to learn her Ranma-sama's Art!

"…Run Away!" Kodachi twitched, watching Nabiki race away fast enough to leave dust trails on the ground.

"How…pedestrian." Kodachi growled, flicking her ribbon back into the air. "I do believe I shall murder her slowly for this." Laughing again, Kodachi leapt into pursuit, ribbon twirling.

* * *

Swearing softly, Nabiki darted into another alleyway, dodging some rusted trashcans. She was in a bad situation, and it was getting worse. Not only did Kodachi have the edge in speed, agility, and physical skills, Nabiki was feeling drained from whatever it was she did that saved her ass from Kodachi's ribbon attack. Combine that with the fact that she wasn't used to running for her life, and the middle Tendo daughter was quickly losing her ability to stay ahead of her pursuer via superior knowledge of the alleys and shortcuts of the 'common' area of Nerima.

"Damn it! This is why I stay fray adjacent! I don't even know who or what this Belathor is, and that crazy bitch is trying to kill me for it!"

"I'll say. She's about as stable as Nitro, isn't she?" Nabiki snapped her head to the side, tracking the voice.

Floating at the end of the alley was a little girl. Garbed in a strangely designed dress, most of which was covered by an over-sized lab coat with 'Little Washu' stenciled over the left breast. To top it all off, the girl's hair was not only pink, but styled in an odd manner that managed to make observers think of a crab, despite not resembling one in the least. The overall effect made the hairs on Nabiki's neck stand up.

"Who are you?" The girl smiled broadly.

"I am little Washu, the greatest scientific genius in the universe!" A pair of dolls modeled after Washu popped of the girl's lab coat somewhere and began praising her genius. Now almost completely freaked out, Nabiki backed away. Noting the movement, Washu dismissed the puppets. "I wouldn't go anywhere if I were you. The privacy field I put up only goes so far." Nabiki froze.

"Privacy field?"

"Yup. As long as you stay right here, that girl in the leotard can't find you. If you leave, or I turn it off, well…I wouldn't bet heavily on your chances." Nabiki stared, feeling anger starting to build up.

"What do you want?" She spat. Washu grinned.

"Oh, you're a quick one, aren't you? It's just this simple tiny thing; I want a sample." Nabiki paled.

"A sample?" Seeing the other woman's expression, Washu hastened to put it in a better light.

"Nothing horrible. A lock of hair, a little blood, that kind of thing." Nabiki eyed her surroundings, looking for an escape route.

"Why would you want something like that from me?" Washu laughed lightly.

"Why wouldn't I? TK-users are always interesting to study." Nabiki stopped edging away to stare at the pink-haired girl. TK? Was that…

"I don't know what you are talking about, what's a TK?" Washu rolled her eyes.

"You're a smart girl; let's not play games. You're a TK, I'd like to confirm what gene that particular talent is carried on. Shall we make a deal?" Nabiki twitched.

'_Suddenly, I can't help but think someone, somewhere is laughing themselves sick._'

"What would I get for 'cooperating' with your request?" Washu smirked.

"I'll get you home, safe and sound. What you do after that is entirely up to you, though I suggest you find somewhere to hide. So, a deal?" Nabiki growled, her nails digging into her palm.

"And just how would you know where I live?" Washu blinked.

"Because I'm the greatest scientist in the universe? Whatever, it doesn't matter. Are you going to give me a sample or are you going to run it on your own?" Steaming silently, Nabiki stuck out her arm. This Washu woman may have her over a barrel at the moment, but the Hell if Nabiki was going to take this laying down!

* * *

Ranma sat in the Tendo's yard, staring at nothing. It had been a very interesting day for him. He'd been hearing voices, burping up gases that transformed things into crystals, and Kasumi was refusing to leave him alone for more then 5 minutes. Actually, that last one wasn't bad at all. Kasumi liked to pick him up and pet him, which felt awesome.

'_Waste material at maximum containment levels. Preparing to purge._'

Having been through this several times, Ranma was ready to take advantage of it. Aiming his mouth at one of the stones surrounding the Koi pond, Ranma waited for it.

**BBBB**_**BBBUUUUUUURRPPPPP!**_

Ranma watched happily as the vapors that he'd been expelling all day drifted through the air in a straight line, making contact with the last unchanged stone around the pond. Purring, Ranma felt an odd sort of thrill as the colors swirled and danced. Giggling absently, Ranma hopped over and rubbed against his latest piece of art. It was weird, the transformed martial artist thought, but the tingling sensation he got from rubbing against things was hilarious. Oh well, at least he was staying entertained and man was he getting some awesome ideas for special attacks! Ranma was distracted from a sudden focus on how to mimic the Carebear Stare by a buzzing feeling in the back of his head. Confused, he only had time to blink before a very quiet _pop_ sounded behind him. Miyahing loudly in surprise, Ranma leapt and spun, landing so that he was facing the source of the sound, ready to lay some cabbit-inflicted pain on whoever interrupted his rock-rubbing!

"Guess she wasn't lying about getting me home safely. I'm still going to make that brat pay though." The last part was muttered quietly as Nabiki shifted her work bag to sit more comfortably after her mad dash for personal safety.

"Miyah?" Nabiki looked down, spotting Neko standing on his hind legs, looking very confused. Taking a step to be right in front of the cabbit, Nabiki squatted down to stare him in the eyes.

"I don't care what has to be done, but I'm not leaving the house unless you're right there with me, got it? Kodachi tried to kill me today because of one of her little fantasies, and I had to give some of my blood to some pink-haired brat to escape with my life." Neko giggled at her, telepathically.

^Pink hair! She musta been an Amazon. Now what does an Amazon want with your blood?^ Laughing again, Neko waved a paw at her, then got dizzy and fell down when tried to watch it.

"She wasn't an Amazon…called herself the greatest scientist in the universe…are you drunk?" Nabiki's expression turned to ice when the cabbit laughed at her and rolled on to his back. "Oh you furry son-of-a-bitch, I'm going to make slippers out of you! I leave you here to make Kasumi happy and risk my OWN life, and you're out here getting shit-faced instead of protecting her!"

"Protecting who Nabiki-chan?" Nabiki squeaked and whipped about, nearly scared out of her skin when her older sister unexpectedly spoke up directly behind her. Kasumi watched Nabiki struggle to calm herself with visible concern. "Nabiki, who is it that needs protecting? Is it Akane?" Nabiki waved that last question off.

"No no, Akane's fine. It's nothing really." Nabiki might have been pissed the Hell off at the so called 'Guardian', but she wasn't going to make her saintly older sister worry because some magical animal's stupidity. "Say Kasumi, how did Neko here get into Daddy's sake stash? I didn't think Daddy had had time to replace it yet. Especially since I know he's broke from those wards.(1)" She'd wait till the little bastard had gone from drunk to hung-over before yelling at him. It always seemed to make things stick better with the fathers and the pain inflicted by the sound of her would be a nice punishment for him getting toasted in the first place.

Kasumi tilted her head quizzically. "What are you talking about Nabiki? Neko-kun hasn't been any where near Father's sake. He's been with me all day." Nabiki blinked.

"Okayyy. But he's still acting drunk." Kasumi frowned.

"He's just being silly. What's so wrong with him playing?"

"Miyah." Both women looked down to see Neko started rubbing against Kasumi's ankle. "Miyah, Miyah."

Smiling happily, Kasumi bent down and picked up Neko, cooing gently to him. Neko purred back, scrambling up to watch the surroundings over her shoulder. In an overly cutesy voice, Kasumi promised Neko a treat of diced carrots as she headed inside. Glaring at Neko, Nabiki projected her thoughts as loudly as she could.

'_I don't know what's wrong with you, Guard-bunny, but I will find out._'

^Chill 'Biki-chan. It's all good.^ Neko laughed as he and Kasumi disappeared into the house. Growling silently, Nabiki marched to the house. She'd talk to the fathers if she could find them, then get the school work graded and out of the way. Just because she wanted to pluck his whiskers off didn't mean she could skip out on her work. She'd fry him soon or later.

* * *

_Cherry Hill Shrine_…

4:20 p.m.

In a small structure on the Shrine grounds, 9 young woman fit themselves as best as possible in the limited space. Called in by Rei, the ladies were gathered to assist her in an idea she'd had during class that morning. After hearing it, Setsuna had given it the green light and even got the rest of the Outers to join her in helping the inners pull this off. Kneeling in front of her fellow Sailor Senshi, Rei waited for the usual bickering and shoving that happened in such tight quarters to settle down before speaking. Her friends noted that she spoke with far greater calmness then the fiery Senshi normally displayed.

"As you all know, Setsuna recently…corrected some misconceptions we had about a certain rabbit. Despite that, we still don't know much about him or the girl that we saw him with. Setsuna has insisted that she can't find him with the Time Gates, but I had an idea; why not try it with the Sacred Flame housed here. If this rabbit is as natural as Setsuna insisted, we should be able to catch a glimpse of him in the Flame." Rei cast a stern eye at Usagi during the next part of her speech, trying to prevent any sort of complaints that might come of what she had to say. "Keep in mind that divining is NOT a science; it's an art and a really complex one. Even Grandfather isn't all that successful when it comes to things like this and he's been doing for a lot longer then most of us have been alive. If we manage to see anything at all, it might not be very clear what we are seeing, so keep an open mind, got it?" Haruka stirred, looking annoyed.

"If this Sacred Flame of yours is so inaccurate, then why are we relying on it. Haven't we learned the hard way that bad information causes nothing but heartache and trouble?" Michiru patted her girlfriend's hand in sympathy as the two of them glanced at their beloved daughter.

Rei sighed. "Nothing seen in the Sacred Flame is wrong, per se, but it can be really hard to get it to show you anything at all, and it's up to the diviner to figure out what it means." Setsuna cleared her throat.

"Rei is quite correct. This form of scrying is more difficult to work with, but it tends to show more then the method employed by the Time Gates. One thing to keep in mind girls, is that as Rei said, all the information will be true, but what we may see is not necessarily what we came to learn about at all." Nodding, Rei gestured for the other girls to assume the positions that she had taught them earlier.

"Alright, let's begin." Reciting a chant meant to sharpen her focus while simultaneously relaxing her mind, Rei stared into the Flame. Behind her, the other Sailor Senshi tried their best to achieve a meditative state while thinking of the Chaos Generator from Nerima. For many of the girls, finding the serenity that came with true mediation was almost impossible. They did, however, have a far greater amount of practice with a state of mind that allowed near-total focus in the heat of battle. That battle focus may have actually been a safer bet given the inner nature of their subject. Still, no matter what state of mind the girls were in, it worked.

Slowly, the Sacred Flame began to grow. Rei watched patiently as the Flame changed colors, taking on a brilliant sapphire hue. Rei skillfully allowed her senses to expand along with the Sacred Flame. Very carefully, Rei fed energy into the Flame, fueling it to even greater heights as she tuned it to her thoughts and the thoughts of her friends. Divining was a delicate process, requiring a deft touch. It had taken Rei years to learn this skill and now that time and effort were rewarding her. In the heart of the Sacred Flame, images began to form.

"Its starting. You can look now." Eyes snapped open as the Sailor Senshi crowded around the Sacred Flame to watch the results of their efforts.

The Flame shimmered and sparkled, reflecting an impossible amount of light from inside of it. The women gasped as the Sacred Flame filled with countless crystals, shaped like diamonds. Spinning, the crystals gathered into a circle, framing another image forming in the fire. This image was done in life-like tones, which made the impact of the woman who appeared that much greater. She was beautiful. Gentle brown eyes were framed by warm features and a dazzling smile. Her clothes, simple and modest, complimented her motherly presence. Long brown hair was gathered in a white scrunchy and draped down her front long enough to touch the top of her apron. Looking at her, the Senshi couldn't help but feel that this was the sweetest woman they had ever seen. The woman seemed to smile right at them for a little while before that radiant smile was directed somewhere else. As the Senshi watched, a familiar figure hopped into the Sacred Flame's image.

"Look Michiru-mama, it's the bunny I found!" The Inners looked puzzled at Hotaru's outburst, though the Outers all looked shocked, Setsuna especially.

"Oh no." She whispered.

In the Flame, the rabbit hopped into the woman's lap, turning to face the Sailor Senshi. Then, it roared. It wasn't anything a fire could of have produced, but a full-out roar. Gaping, the Senshi watched as the rabbit leapt out the woman's lap and transformed into a black and red tiger. Roaring a challenge to the girls, they were all surprised to note that it stared them down with blue-grey human eyes. Still smiling, the woman stood and lay her hand on the tiger's shoulder, looking down on it fondly. As she pet the tiger, a second woman formed from the crystals. The Senshi couldn't see her very well. She was transparent like ice and the color of Sacred Flame around her image paled to increase that likeness. The first woman smiled happily at the second, mouthing the word 'sister'. The tiger shifted to guard both women from the Senshi, snarling silently. On the big cat's forehead, an angry red light began to burn, turning from dancing bonfire to a gleaming solid glow. Then, there a was blinding flash of crimson light. When their sight cleared up, the Senshi could no longer see either woman or the tiger. Instead, there was a…a _thing_ made entirely out of crystal. It was a thing of spines and spires, all centered around an octahedral.

It looked dangerous. Very dangerous.

The crystal thing floated in the Sacred Flame for several long seconds before the spines on it shifted position and it disappeared. The Flame showed nothing at all for a little while before the Sacred Flame began reverting to its normal appearance. As the last of the azure faded from it, all the Senshi heard a male voice from the Sacred Flame.

"I'm Ranma. Sorry 'bout this."

The Sailor Senshi sat quietly long after it became obvious that there would be nothing more from the Sacred Flame. Each woman was wrapped up in their own thoughts about what they had seen and heard. Finally, Rei spoke.

"Well, that was certainly the most interesting Fire Reading I've ever done."

* * *

Stretching, Nabiki drifted downstairs having had heard her sister call out that dinner was ready. Seating herself at her normal spot, Nabiki noted that neither of the fathers were present. Akane seemed to have made it home for dinner though. Drifting gracefully into the dining room, Kasumi made her appearance, quickly laying out dinner to be served. There wasn't much conversation as the three sisters and cabbit ate. Kasumi and Nabiki weren't ones to talk without some reason or another. Ranma didn't want to reveal the fact that he could talk to anybody but Nabiki. And Akane, Akane wasn't interested in talking. Neko seemed to be starving, eating his serving and both of the father's. Kasumi fussed over him, but he didn't show any sign of distress from eating more then his bodyweight. As soon as she was done Akane got up and left. Nabiki contemplated following her, but she needed to talk to Neko. Waiting for Kasumi to pick up the dishes and head to the kitchen, Nabiki leaned towards the cabbit.

"What does someone have to do in order to rate a magical guardian?" Neko blinked, slowly swiveling to face her.

^Huh?^

"Magical Guardian." She said slowly. "What do I have to do to get one? Kodachi came after me with bloodshed on her mind today and I barely escaped with my life. I need a bodyguard until I figure out this telekinesis and since you're already contracted…" Neko scratched himself, forcing his mind to work through the mental fog they had been dogging him all day.

^I dunno. I'm a fighter, not a clerk.^ It had all the tact of a sledgehammer, but he just couldn't think of anything better at the moment. Nabiki glared.

"For a Magical Guardian, you're incredibly useless."

^And you're a manipulative shrew whose only redeeming feature is that you look good in a swimsuit but you don't see me complaining do you?^ Nabiki hissed angrily.

"What did you just say!"

^You're a bitch, deal with it.^ Yawning, Ranma channeled enough energy to make the jewel on his forehead light up. Watching the woman quickly back down, Ranma felt a small surge of satisfaction. While he had no intention of becoming a total bastard like Nabiki, it felt really good to finally get back at her for all the problems she had caused him from day one. Besides, this was completely harmless compared to stuff she constantly pulled. ^Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to get some dessert.^ Ignoring Nabiki's furious expression, Ranma hopped to the kitchen, listening to a mysterious voice in his head inform him that the base construction process was complete and that assembly was beginning. Saving her come-back for now, Nabiki stood up and headed for her room.

'_Keep giving me attitude bunny-boy, you'll get yours when I figure out my new powers._'

* * *

"And you say the Crone is truly behind it all?" Mousse gritted his teeth, having had to explain this at least 4 times an hour since he'd made his offer to Tatewaki.

"Yes. Yes she is. When Ranma Saotome came to the Amazon village before coming here, Cologne saw a chance. She bespelled him and then sent him here to spy your family. She uses him as a distraction while attempting to find a way to repeat her method upon your august person, so far unsuccessfully. The pig-tailed girl is an unsuspecting maiden trained to switch places with Saotome when he gets wet. I don't know why she did that." Mousse jaw twitched as he struggled to control his urge to beat Kuno senseless.

Well, more senseless.

"This seems a most bizarre plot to ensnare my person." Kuno assumed a classic 'thinking' pose while pitching his voice to sound wiser then the fool was. "Still, there is no doubt a backwoods Chinese witch would wish to enchant the noble heir of the Kuno clan!"

Watching the addle-brained kendo practitioner pose 'nobly', Mousse couldn't help but wonder how big a gold-digger the Kuno patriarch's wife had to have been to stick around long enough to produce not one, two children from a man who managed to be even LESS stable then this prime example of insanity. Shaking off the thought, Mousse stepped forward to further his plot.

"Ahem." Kuno stopped posing and glared at Mousse down his well-bred nose.

"Must you continue to interrupt me when I am declaring my vows to the Heavens?"

'_Only if I value my sanity._' "There will be time enough for that once Cologne is defeated and banished from Japan." '_And I can safely get out of this madhouse to find somewhere else to live._' "Now, do you remember the plan?"

"I do not see why we shouldn't simply sally forth and slay this witch instead of all this dastardly sulking about!"

Mousse reminded himself to act like his inspiration(2) in this endeavor. "Because the Cat Café is her place of power. Once you get her Diplomatic Immunity revoked, and have her business shut down, she'll be vulnerable. Once she's vulnerable…" Let it not be said that Kuno didn't know a dramatic cue when he saw one.

"I strike! With my clan's most honored weapon I shall smite her and drive her from Japan's most noble shores!" Throwing his head back, Tatewaki began laugh…loudly.

"Brother dear, what _are_ you cackling about?" Tatewaki and Mousse both spun to face the door.

"A man does not cackle my twisted sister, he chuckles boldly! You on the other hand, screech like a harpy!" Seeing the two sibling's argument rapidly devolve into a shouting match, Mousse quietly slipped out the window of Tatewaki's study. If he was lucky, Kodachi would forget all about his presence. Though, as he slipped off the Kuno Manor roof and headed towards his quarters, the myopic Weapons Masters couldn't help but wonder why Kodachi of all people had come home looking exhausted and sweaty from 'just a little errand' as she had declared before leaving the Manor earlier that afternoon.

"Ours is not to question." Mousse quoted quietly, decided it was much safer not to question what the crazy bitch of the house had been up to. "Doesn't matter anyways. Once the Mummy's out of the country it'll be clear sailing from there on." Coming to the door of his guest room, Mousse allowed himself a smile. Everything was going his way.

Sadly, good things happening to you was actually a bad sign in Nerima.

* * *

1.) He'd already hit her up for drinking money.

2.) Nabiki

* * *

**Author's Note:** First off, this is a short chapter I know, but the next one should be Tons O' Fun. Ranma discovers his ship form(which has some decidedly odd side-effects), Happosai comes back to Nerima, Kodachi gets her face to face with 'Belathor', Tatewaki forgets to keep his trap shut, Cologne gives a damn good example of why you NEVER piss off an Amazon Elder, and Washu nearly loses her mind.

Should be a good one if I can get it all out.

An honorable mention to the first person who can guess where I got the quote Mousse said from. See ya guys soon.

Inconceivably Yours,

Tigee86.

* * *

**Omakes….**

Written by Weebee:

Nabiki groaned, rubbing her eyes as she came downstairs, having slept almost to lunch time when a loud scream woke her. When she found out who'd interrupted her sleep, and given her a skull splitting headache, she was going to have to hurt them, was what she thought, of course, until she rounded the small wall segment that hid the front entrance way and stair well from the living room, and blinked."What in the name of...?" She asked, letting her usual composed, ice-queen mask slip as she saw what was in front of her."Hey, a new friend!" A young girl with an oversized fighting gi hanging from her shoulders giggled, running into the middle Tendo daughter's , a large panda statue stood, reared on its hind legs and holding a stone engraved sign that said "I knew that thing was bad news." Its other paw was pointing accusingly at Neko, who was laying on the dining table, its front paws over its mouth, and a horrified expression on its rabbit-like , the middle Tendo daughter gently pushed the child off of her and stalked over to the animal, picking it up by the scruff of its neck. "What in the world are you doing?" She demanded, glaring into its eyes."No, Nabiki, put me down, run!" Neko projected, but the brown haired girl kept staring into its eyes, until it shuddered, and a loud girgling sound was heard. The cabbit's eyes widened, and it began struggling to get out of Nabiki's arms, before it let out a loud... multi-colored... belch which engulfed her vision cleared, it was significantly lower to the ground, and she was still staring into the eyes of Neko, who had been dropped to the tadami with a shook his head sadly, looking at the porcelain doll with a slot for coins in the top of her head that Nabiki had become. "I knew I shouldn't have eaten those artifacts," it grumbled, in somewhat of a state of shock, before the young girl who had once been Soun Tendo walked over, picking Nabiki up and studying her curiously.

* * *

Written by Jorlem:

"So…"Rei said, "You said that his being a Chaos generator means the Gates can't see him, right?"

Setsuna nodded curtly.

"Then that means the Sacred Fire wouldn't work either, right?"

Setsuna began to nod again, but then paused. "Actually, that might be worth a try. The chaos inherent in the flames may allow you to see though his chaotic aura, to some degree."

Usagi grabbed Rei's arm, and started to pull her from the room. "C'mon! We need to figure this out as soon as we can!"

"We? What do you mean, 'we'?"

—Later—

Rei kneeled before the Sacred Fire, the rest of the Senshi sitting several feet further back.

"Setsuna, you know the most about all this. Is there anything you would recommend I focus on trying to find?"

"It is a forest guardian, in addition to being a Chaos Generator. If you can figure what made him come down from the mountains to Tokyo, it would make formulating your apology far easier."

—Later Still—

Rei completed her chant, and fixed an image of the creature she had seen and Furinkan High in her mind as the Sacred Fire flared brightly.

"Who or what caused this creature to come to Tokyo?"

The Sacred Fire curled inward, then billowed outward in a single direction, as if it was caught within a strong wind. Had Setsuna, or possibly Ami, given it a few moments thought, they might have realized that the astral 'wind' was blowing from the direction of Nerima. Rei groaned, then strengthened her focus. The Sacred Fire responded, and an image of a young man wearing a yellow shirt and a tiger print bandanna appeared within the flames.

"Ooh! He looks just like my old…" Makoto's voice trailed off, as something caught her attention. "My old boyfriend didn't have _fangs_!"

There was a collective blink among the Senshi.

"Yeah, definitely not human."

"Can't be, not with those things."

"Maybe an oni? Look at the bandanna."

"Part oni, maybe? Other than the fangs, he looks human."

"Could be."

"Ok, moving on," Rei said. "What did this person do that would cause this much anger in a forest guardian?"

The Sacred Fire flared again, and the image shifted. The Fire showed the young man with the fangs running through a forest, crashing into trees every few steps. Usually whatever branch he impacted would break off, but every so often he would hit a trunk, and then the tree would fall over, and the young man would rebound in a random direction.

After about half a minute the image shifted again, this time to the young man standing in front of a tree, holding something long and black. With a single motion, he sliced through the tree, which began to fall, revealing that two girls had been hiding in the tree. One had long, dark blue hair, and the other bright red hair and a shirt which, the watching Senshi noted with horror, had been cut partway open.

The images blurred and began to change again, but Rei let out a groan and collapsed to the floor, clutching her head. Ami quickly moved to help her friend, and Setsuna wordlessly handed Ami a bottle of Advil, as the rest of the Senshi continued to stare at the now calm fire.

It was Haruka who said what they were all thinking.

"Oni. Definitely."


	11. 11, or The Cabbit has Landed!

**Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah**

**Disclaimer:** I'd dearly love to stay and 'chat' with you miserable pack of traitors, but thanks to numerous well-wishers and encouragements(You bastards!), the writer is continuing his therapy honestly for once instead of spouting a bunch of lies just to see the expression on the doctor's face. Do you have any idea what you've done! There is a head-shrinker in here trying to catch me! I ought to…uh-oh. She heard me. Theauthordoesn'townanyanime/! RUN AWAY!

**Intro:** A couple questions were asked/brought up last chapter, so I will do my best to explain them. Just to get this over with; yes, Nabiki is a child pornographer. Just because the people she takes pictures of(Ranma in girl form mostly, and she does take nude photos of Ranma-chan, it's only flashed, but there) are older then most victims doesn't mean she ISN'T an abuser. Nabiki isn't some possessive/jealous psycho like most of the female cast but she is most definitely the uber-bitch. I know that's going to piss some people off, but I am trying to write her as true as I can while creating.

A few people asked why Ranma's human form didn't show in the Sacred Fire. I actually have a neat explanation for this and have sadly come to realize that I'll probably never be able to work into to the story without ruining a chapter. A human form didn't show because Ranma isn't IN human form at the moment. He started as a tiger because of the protection that he's been giving the family(family guardian kinda of thing) and his Neko-ken experience. He shows up in his ship form next because he's a cabbit right now. The first was a spiritual representative, the next Ranma's physical form. If you remember, the tiger had human eyes. The eyes are said to be the windows into the soul, and that they always reveal who you really are. Lord I wish I could have thought of a way to get that in there.

Anyways, here's the stuff, you know…the stuff.

"Normal Speech"

'_Inner Thoughts'_

^Telepathy^

#Foreign Languages#

"Speech by Empowered Beings" a.k.a. Speaking spirits, kami, demons, and humans emitting power at high levels.

* * *

Groaning, Nabiki descended once more into the world. Stumbling her way to the dining room table, Nabiki sleepily rubbed her eyes as she sat down. Giving one last yawn, the woman forced herself to wake up with out coffee. Casting her eyes around to find something to keep her busy while waiting for breakfast, something pinged on her awareness. It took her a second to pin it down.

'_What happened to the table?_' Reaching down, Nabiki tapped it. Getting a fainting clicking instead of a dull thunk, she knew that it was in fact, crystal. "What the hell?" She muttered. "When the hell did that happen?"

"Yesterday." Kasumi told her, bringing in the first of the breakfast platters. Putting them down, she turned back and ducked back into the kitchen. Nabiki stared at the table incredulously, wondering how the table got replaced without her noticing. '_I know I was flustered because that crazy bitch tried to kill me but this is ridiculous!_'

"Don't bother." Genma muttered. "I already took one of the rocks from around the pond to be appraised. They're solid crystal all the way through, but worthless." Nabiki shot him a look. "What?"

"Breakfast is served!" Kasumi swooped in carrying the last of her lovingly prepared morning meal. Normally, her cooking would have gotten the full attention of the Tendo family plus guests but they were quickly distracted.

"Kasumi…is that a baby harness?" Strapped to the oldest Tendo daughter's chest was a cheerfully bright pink baby harness. Carefully snipped and stitched to fit Neko comfortably, the cabbit was tucked in and painfully aware of it today. Miyahing piteously, Neko stretched his paws towards Nabiki.

^For Kami's sake woman, get me out of this!^ It was all Nabiki could do not to burst out into gut-busting laughter. Watching her older sister treat the intelligent and often belligerent creature like a baby, Nabiki spent the entire meal holding back snickers as she listened to Neko pled for assistance.

'_This is almost as good as any vengeance I could have come up with. I may not have to get back at him after all._'

^Ok bunny-boy. I'll get you out of this…if you do me a favor.^ Fussing to avoid letting Kasumi clean his face with a washcloth, Neko quickly shot an answer back.

^Anything! I don't want to be treated like a baby!^ Ranma didn't mind being pampered, but this was way too far!

Nabiki smirked. She may have agreed to 'rescue' him but that didn't mean she couldn't drag it out. After all, she didn't say _when_ she'd help him. "Kasumi, I have an idea. Why don't you and I go on a picnic today. It's so nice out, and I'm sure Neko would love to go on a walk. What do you say?" Kasumi beamed.

"That sounds lovely Nabiki. I'll make us a picnic basket!" Kasumi turned to her youngest sister. "Akane-chan, do you want to come with us? It'll just be us three and Neko-kun." Akane glanced at the squirming cabbit attempting to escape Kasumi's grasp. How the serenely smiling woman could contain the struggling cabbit(and martial artist) without looking was beyond her. Still, spending time with Neko…

"No thanks Kasumi." Akane smiled weakly at her older sister. "I have, um, plans with some of my friends. Somewhere else." Akane felt guilty watching her sister's smile dim slightly, but there was no way she was going to get involved with this, not without…Ranma. The thought managed to make her sad AND angry. Sad because she missed the stupid pervert, and angry because she didn't believe that she needed Ranma to feel safe and still did anyways. Pushing away her dishes, Akane stood up. "In fact, I'm going to get ready to go." The fathers left right after her, heading straight for their shoji board. Kasumi scooped up Neko and slipped him into the baby carrier. The cabbit squalled angrily, struggling fruitless to stay out of it without harming Kasumi. Without any apparent effort Kasumi secured the sullen cabbit before starting on the dishes.

"Ah well, better get ready for the day out." Rising off her cushion, Nabiki stretched and headed to her room. "Today's the day, Nabiki old-girl."

* * *

"Today's the day Happi old boy! Today's the day I return to my pleasures!" Cackling perversely, Happosai hopped from rooftop to rooftop, already in his thieving 'disguise'. The last few days had been Hell for the lecherous old grandmaster. Despite the Youma attacks that plagued it, Juuban was still considered a 'Normal' district. As such, strange events weren't well taken there. Things like a 2' tall ladies-underwear stealing shriveled gnome going around relieving the pretty ladies of their unmentionables. So, instead of risking some sort of police action, Happosai hung around the Cherry Hill Shrine waiting for information on Nerima. Of course, that had it's own risks. Happosai knew(deep, deep, _deeeep_) down inside that he wasn't the most appealing sort of fellow. He was so repulsive in fact that more then one priest had taken one look at him and tried to slay him(1). Hell, just _talking_ to the head priest at the Shrine had been a big risk. Still, it had panned out and he hadn't been bashed by the pretty priestess before she went and banished the demon back in Nerima. When the girl had come back, battered but whole, Happosai had immediately headed out to celebrate the destruction of the demon. In his own way of course.

"Hmm, thinking about it, I _do_ wonder why I woke up face down in a gutter outside Tokyo. I must have partied too hardy! Ha ha ha, I crack myself up!" Jumping to the nearest high point, Happosai used his hand to shade his eyes and began scoping out the area. Given recent events, the Anything Goes Grandmaster was planning on treating himself to something special. No matter what he thought of though, it all seemed…humdrum. With Ranma's disappearance a few weeks ago, underwear stealing had gotten super easy, like the last time Ranma stopped stopping him from stealing panties. "Hmm, where am I going to find silky darlings AND a bit of mayhem?" As if answering his prayers, light reflected off a bit of metal in the distance. Following it, he spotted the Kuno manor, lording over Nerima on a hill. The Grandmaster grinned evilly.

"I do believe that Kuno girl is a gymnast. Hmm, leotards…"

* * *

"Sasuke, where are you? Get over here you miserable worm!" Furious, Kodachi stormed through the hallways of her family manor, screaming for her manservant to show himself. After yesterdays attempt on Nabiki's life, the heiress of the Kuno clan had decided that she had to speed up her nefarious plans. The witch had escaped her far too easily. And now, she was blocked from claiming what should be hers by an utterly incompetent ninja! "How could I have been so foolish as to leave the contract in that rat-faced fool's hand?" Said contract was the result of the Kuno clan's lawyers fighting tooth and nail to prove their worth to their employers. It was an iron-clad piece of legal genius that would insure her proper place in the soon-to-be relationship with the demon Belathor - with her in charge. If only she could find it!

"Sasuke!"

**KA-BOOM!**

Startled, Kodachi whirled around, wondering what on earth what had caused that explosion. '_That sounded as if it came from_ within _the mansion. How is that possible?_' "It seems that today is a day of strife and chaos." Drawing one of her favorite ribbons, Kodachi sped down the corridors of her home straight towards the sound of the explosion.

* * *

"Please Grandmaster Happosai! Please stop this and leave the mistress's delicates behind!" Laughing manically, Happosai tossed a Happo Fire Burst over his shoulder. A moment later, it went off with a loud bang, reducing that section of the Kuno manor into a cratered mess. Sasuke managed to avoid the blast thanks to years of experience in Nerima, but the small ninja was growing increasingly terrified. With every explosion, with every blast, it became more and more likely that one of the two Kuno children would hear and come investigate. If that happened, one of two things would happen.

One. Tatewaki would show up first. Sasuke would probably get whacked once or twice with a bokken, told he was an idiot, and then the Kendo-user would charge mindlessly into combat. Seconds later Happosai would beat the crap out of the boy, and the incident would soon be lost in the thick fog of fantasy that filled Tatewaki's head.

Two. Kodachi would show up first. She would scream at him at a volume and pitch that sent ice-picks through a man's brain for several minutes. After that, Kodachi would order Sasuke into battle, forcing the ninja to fight an overwhelmingly powerful opponent. Of course, the entire time Lady Kodachi would be hurling bombs of her own, both a standard explosive and gas bombs filled with her own personal mixtures.

Of the two options, Sasuke greatly preferred the third; not getting the master and mistress involved at all. Sasuke, however, was one of those poor souls that represented the saying 'No luck is better then bad luck'.

"Sasuke! What is the meaning of this!" The ninja hung his head, before diverting his pursuit and coming to a rest at Kodachi's feet.

"Yes, Kodachi-sama?"

"What has happened here Sasuke? Why are these hallways damaged?" Sasuke started sweating.

"It was the Grandmaster Happosai, mistress. I was attempting to expel him from the grounds, but…" Kodachi looked thoughtful for a few moments, tapping the handle of her ribbon against her thigh.

"Happosai…the small shriveled one?"

"Yes mistress."

"The underwear thief?"

"Yes mistress." Kodachi considered it for a moment.

"Sasuke…" Kodachi said slowly, focusing on her ninja. "Did that man find my room?" Sasuke barely contained his wince.

"Yes mistress." Kodachi's cheek began to stain red with rage as her fists clenched.

"Did that thief find the hand-sewn, personally fitted and designed lingerie that I had specially made for my eventual rendezvous with Ranma-sama?" This time, Sasuke couldn't hide his wince.

"…yes mistress."

* * *

Having lost his annoying tail, Happosai was simply cruising through the manor, looking for some loot when he heard it.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

It couldn't have hurt more if his eardrums had up and exploded. Yelping in pain, Happosai lost control of his next leap and crashed headfirst into a door. Tumbling through splinters and a loose doorknob, Happosai eventually rolled to a stop. Popping open his eyes, the shrunken Anything Goes Grandmaster found himself looking up at a couple of familiar figures. Hopping up to his feet with a practiced flex of his muscles, Happosai took a better look at both the men, who were too stunned to move.

"You brats seem familiar. I do something to you lately?" The dressed up Japanese boy recovered first.

"How dare you enter the residence of Tatewaki Kuno you traitorous beast! Your actions have stalled Heaven's Vengeance once too often! I strike!" Laughing, Happosai dodged the bokken the boy lashed at him with. He remembered this stooge now, had even less brains then his two moron students. Bouncing off a wall Happosai landed on the head of the Amazon boy, Mice or Mouse or something.

"Hello brat, having fun with Dweedle-dumb here?" Mousse looked stunned.

"W-what are you doing back here?" Happosai shrugged, breaking out his pipe as Tatewaki raged on the other side of the room about sorcery and accursed magicians.

"Why wouldn't I? I tricked that priest into clearing out the demon after all. I'm more curious about what you're doing here." Mousse broke out into a cold sweat. Happosai was easily as skilled as Cologne and much more childish and petty. He couldn't risk telling the truth and a decent lie refused to come to him.

"W-well, I…I, um…" Relief came in the form of a shrieking Kodachi appearing in the remains of the door to Tatewaki's study.

"YOU! PREPARE TO DIE YOU MISERABLE LITTLE COCK-SUCKING BASTARD!"

While Tatewaki and Mousse both froze at Kodachi of all people speaking like that, Happosai _ran_.

'_Where's Ranma when you really need him? I need a distraction, and I need it now!_'

As the Grandmaster of the Anything Goes style ran like a horse with its tail on fire, Kodachi pursuing him with bloody murder on her mind, something clicked in Mousse's head. If Happosai was home, then he was going to go into his room at some point. If he was going into his room, then he might check in the closet and…

Mousse paled dramatically as Tatewaki blew past him to chase after Happosai and Kodachi. There were some things in the stolen collection that would be not unlike Weapons of Mass Perversion in Happosai's hands. '_I've got to hurry to the Tendo residence. I _MUST _hide those items._' Silently blessing the fact that there weren't any witnesses, Mousse jumped out the study window and started running for the Tendo Dojo as fast as he could.

* * *

Watching her older sister hum happily as she strolled towards the local park, Nabiki wondered if there was anything she could actually do to make Neko's life worse at this point without provoking him into full-out assault. The reason for this thought was as obvious as the pink bow that Kasumi had tied around Neko's head. Thanks to the child-carrier harness, Neko had been unable to escape Kasumi without revealing his true powers. Stuck, he could only suffer in silence as he was collared, decorated with a few ribbons, and dressed in a hand-knitted sweater…which both amused and surprised Nabiki. Eying Neko, Nabiki drank in the dejection on his furry face.

'_I think I'll give him a pass on this one, at least until he manages to piss me off again._'

Finally, they arrived at the park. Reaching into the basket that she had prepared before leaving home, Kasumi withdrew a nice thick blanket and skillfully snapped it once, unfurling it to lie perfectly flat on the ground. Humming again, Kasumi laid out a few sundries for their picnic, like sun-block. Moaning in frustration, Neko glared at Nabiki.

^I'm not seeing a lot of effort in getting me out of here.^ Nabiki chuckled.

^Fine fine, let's get you out of there.^ "Kasumi, are you going to let Neko out to play?" Kasumi nodded.

"Of course." Carefully removing Neko from his carrier, Kasumi let him down but not before planting a kiss on his nose. "Have fun sweetie." Nabiki quirked an eyebrow.

"You're really coddling that little guy, aren't you?" Kasumi turned slightly to face Nabiki, looking puzzled.

"Why wouldn't I take care of my baby?" Nabiki stared.

"Baby?" Kasumi nodded. The sad part was, she seemed to be dead serious about it. '_That's not good…who knows how many serial killers started out this way(2). Whatever, I'm NOT going to be the one to break it to her._' Deciding to get started on what she'd come here to do, Nabiki followed Neko as he hopped into the bushes.

^I hate you, woman.^

^Maybe.^ Nabiki projected back with a smirk. ^But you're stuck with me till Saotome comes back. That's what your assignment, isn't it?^ Neko grumbled audibly. ^Now, let's talk business. I want to practice my powers.^ Neko blinked.

^Can't you do it by yourself?^

^A little, but I need full-scale practice.^ Neko snorted.

^I may have helped you with those Senshi, but that's 'cause I felt guilty for bringing them to Nerima. Why should I do it just 'cause you asked?^

^I wonder how many people would be interested about what you are?^

^I wonder how many people wouldn't care if ya turned up missing?^ It was a total bluff on Ranma's part, but it fit with the incredibly prickly personality that he was faking. Happily, Nabiki either bought it or simply didn't care to test it.

^Fine, what kind of deal could we make?^ Ranma thought about it. One way or another, she was going to practice her new powers. Cutting her off from his ki would slow her down, but Nabiki was as stubborn as any Nerima-bred martial artist. Well, implacable, Nabiki was too flexible to be stubborn. The point was, she was going to figure them out. And since she was going to get there anyways, why not get something out of a deal with Nabiki for once.

'_It's nice to have the upper hand…_'

^I want information on the location of a guy named Ryoga. You get me to him, and I'll let ya use me for practice.^ Nabiki thought it over at a lightning fast pace. Playing spotter for Ryoga wasn't that hard with her network, and she'd get access to more power in exchange. She would have to dig into the fact that Neko was looking for Ryoga. Hell, the first time she'd seen him, Neko had been trying to blast Ryoga into a smear on the street.

"Deal." Nabiki said out loud, squatting down and offering her hand for Neko to shake. The cabbit did so, attempting to look solemn. That out of the way, Nabiki's expression brightened just one hair.

"Alright, hop on bunny boy." Not a trained martial artist, Nabiki let out an 'oof!' of strain when Neko jumped on her shoulder. Carefully balancing herself, Nabiki straightened upright. Once she was already to go though, Nabiki's smile turned into a full grin. Mimicking what she remembered of the school incident, Nabiki soon felt an intense rush of power flood through her body.

"Whoa, that feels good."

^I'd watch out for that, if I were you. Things that feel great always have a catch.^ Nabiki frowned, her mind quickly beating down the urge to pick up and throw things with her mind.

"An addiction?" She murmured to herself. It made sense, anyways. Pushing the thought aside for later examination, Nabiki cleared her head of all thoughts and readied herself for some serious mental exercise.

* * *

Across the park, a pink-haired woman finished setting up the last of her higher-grade scanning arrays. She might not have permission to do some up close and personal work, but nobody ever objected to some unobtrusive long-range scanning. Well, there was that one army, but their country collapsed ages ago, so it didn't count.

"Alright my little combat-guinea pig, show me your stuff."

* * *

'_This is so much easier when you're not dodging magical attacks left, right, and center._'

The middle Tendo daughter had spent a fruitful morning adjusting to the increased power available to her while connected to Neko. Once she had that figured out, she spent the next hour or so trying out a few random things that she had already thought up or made up as the practice session dragged on. Neko had all but fell asleep on her shoulder during the morning, still some how not moving an inch from her shoulder no matter how sleepy he got or how quickly she had to move when one the trees she was playing with slipped. Now, though, she was lying down on a fuzzy blanket staring at the sky while Kasumi started unpacking the food for an early lunch.

'_I just spent a few hours playing with full-sized trees, but it feels oddly peaceful here. It won't last, never does here._' Nabiki cast a look at Neko, who was lounging near Kasumi, minus his bow and sweater(placed in the basket after getting dirty from his 'walk').

"Gang-way!" Shouted a familiar voice, followed shortly by the sight of Grandmaster Happosai dashing across the park with a bulging bag slung over his shoulder. Scowling slightly, Nabiki sat up for a better look at the situation.

'_Damn. He's back already. I was hoping he'd stay away a little longer. I would have killed on the betting pools._'

Beside her, Nabiki heard something growling. Nabiki looked over at the same time as a curious Kasumi. Both women spotted Neko rising off the blanket, slipping into an aggressive position.

"Neko-kun?" Kasumi asked worriedly. "Is something wrong?"

"Kasumi, I think we may want to leave." Nabiki found herself thinking of the original deal between her and Neko; room and board for protection from Happosai.

Kasumi looked at her sister. "Nabiki-chan, why would leave?"

"Because, things are about to get ugly."

"But I don't - Oh my!" The latter came out a squeak as Neko took off like a shot, running straight at Happosai, aura blazing to life.

* * *

Hurtling over a bench, the legendary pervert was incredibly distracted by the raging hell-spawned banshee behind him. So, he can be forgiven for not noticing the small rabbit-like thing until it shoulder-checked him out the air. Landing with a wheeze, Happosai quickly bounced back, far too tough to be put down that easily.

"Oh yeah, who wants a piece…of…this…" Happosai trailed off as he noted just what had knocked him out of the air. "Ah hell, any chance we could work this out peacefully, demon?" Happosai's only response was the gem on the creature's forehead lighting up. "Why does everything always pick on poor, helpless old men!"

**ZAPP!**

Leaning back and to the left, Happosai let the beam of light pass over him harmlessly. Laughing, the Grandmaster straightened up. "If that's the best you can do, this old man is going to wipe the floor with you!"

Happosai's laughter died when the gem went from red to blue, and the temperature plunged to biting lows.

"Uh-oh…"

* * *

Kasumi and Nabiki were still trying to catch up to Neko when the cabbit unleashed a blue blast of light. Nabiki was the only one who heard the mentally snarled 'Ice Beam'. As Kasumi stared in shock, Nabiki smirked, and started casting around for something small, hard, and sharp. Just small and solid would do.

Seeing the jewel turn red again, Happosai jumped. Tiny bolts of red energy began rapid-firing from his attacker's head as the Grandmaster ran, serpentine-style. "Why can't you just let a sickly old man enjoy his pleasures!"

^Rot in the grave! Hyper-beam!^ Not a follower of pop-culture outside nudist colonies and beachside events, Happosai had no clue what a Hyper-beam was, but judging by the amount of power that rabbit-demon-thing was building up, it really, really hurt.

"Extra Dimensional Warp!" Breaking his form down to the consistency of air while using Ki to retain his ability to reform, Happosai allowed this 'Hyper-Beam' to pass right through him. Examining the attack as it shot through his 'body', the Grandmaster noted that it was made of a highly refined form of Chi. Collapsing back into a material form, Happosai drew his pipe(3) and gave it a puff. "Not bad, lots of power, good range, accurate." The ancient martial artist took a deep draw off his pipe. "Too bad it takes forever to build up, hahaha!" Ranma glared at his father's martial arts master.

'_Hate to admit it, but the freak has a point. Big attacks are pointless, got to go for the fast stuff._' Ranma inhaled deeply, catching Happosai's attention.

^Icy Lance!^ Exhaling rapidly, Ranma flooded his breath with Soul of Ice produced Ki.

"Yikes!" Tapping into his massive reserves, Happosai began dodging madly as a cone of giant, sharpened icicles flew at him. Side-stepping the last of the icicles, Happosai came to a stop in a dramatic pose. Letting it go after a second, the aged Grandmaster pointed his pipe at his opponent. "Alright demon, no more mister nice Happi!" A moment later, Happosai's full battle aura poured out and focused on the cabbit. "Get lost, or else!"

"DIE!" Even distracted by trying to stare down his demonic opponent, Happosai wasn't nearly slow enough to get caught by Kodachi ribbon after she was kind enough to warn him. Curling the end of the ribbon around his pipe, Happosai yanked, sending the gymnast flying.

"You're a little too young to take me on, girlie!" Happosai probably would have played with her little more in the open environment of the park, but Neko choose this moment to remind the Grandmaster that the two of them fighting.

^Takedown!^ Expending his size, Ranma rammed right into Happosai, knocking the lecher down. Recovering almost instantly, the Anything Goes Grandmaster slammed his pipe into the creature on him and sent it flying. Reaching into his ninja outfit, Happosai decided it was time to leave before his sack of precious panties got damaged in the increasing violence of this fight.

"Happo Fire Burst!" The pervert roared, whipping his hand out and scattering the bombs. Right before they hit, Happosai was shocked and worried to see the demon turn translucent. '_He must have a phasing ability like my Extra Dimensional Warp. Time to go, Happi!_' Turning to flee, Happosai was confronted with the sight of that Kuno boy waving his bokken in what he no doubt thought was a noble manner. Seeing his 'audience' paying attention, Tatewaki proceeded to pontificate.

"Harken my words, oh Perverted One! The wrath of the Heavens is slow, but sure. Today, I, Tatewaki Kuno, the chosen of the Heavens, shall deliver your final punishment! I strike!" With that, Tatewaki launched into his rapid strike technique, sending spikes of air pressure at Happosai. Slipping in between the air-pressure spikes, Happosai ignored the crazed scion.

"Heee-ya!" Kodachi's battle cry lead her ribbon back into the fight. Happosai jumped over it, but had to twist and let loose a short burst of un-shaped Ki to avoid the handful of shuriken that Sasuke threw in support of his mistress. Happosai felt a bit of nervousness as the two siblings and retainer instinctively fell into an unified pattern of attack. Oh sure, he could beat them no problem, but what about his poor pretties? Drawing one of his signature firecrackers to scatter the Kunos and cover his escape, Happosai was utterly astonished to feel something unseen tug the firecracker out of his hand. Having the bomb fall at his feet turned out to be a blessing in disguise, though. Because he was watching his loose ordinance, Happosai was able to spot his demonic opponent rise out the earth, his forehead gem blazing.

"Uh-oh…"

* * *

Watching the growing brawl from a safe distance, Nabiki was more then a little surprised when her using her powers to pull the firecracker out of Happosai's hand resulted in a massive explosion. Watching Happosai disappear in a storm of wind and fire, the middle Tendo vaguely noted Kodachi, Tatewaki, and Sasuke getting tossed ass over teakettle.

"Oh my…what's happening?" Nabiki glanced at her sister from the corner of her eye. Kasumi was wringing her hands, staring at the battle ground with intent worry. Still, she was fairly calm, which was surprising considering that Neko was in visibly in the thick of things and how much Kasumi babied him.

"Don't worry about it Kasumi. I'm sure it'll be ok." Seeing Kodachi get to her feet, Nabiki grabbed her sister and pulled her behind some bushes. "Let's keep out of sight Kasumi; this is only going to get worse before it gets better."

* * *

Even deafened and concussed, Happosai was not an easy opponent. Arms and legs moving faster then nearly any human on the planet could track, the Anything Goes founder defended himself from a bum-rush by the rabbit-demon. Paws, Ki blasts, ice were all called up and launched at him. The little bastard was good, Happi admitted to himself, a hell of a lot better at hand-to-hand then any other demon he'd run into. This called for a quick break to re-gather his thoughts.

"Bean Jam Blow-out!" Happosai called out, unleashing a blast of intense winds in between punches. Ranma yowled as he was tossed away. Given the Old Freak's recovery abilities, even a moment's rest could turn the battle. Landing on his paws, Ranma scanned the park for the Freak, not finding him.

'_Damn it, damn it, damn it! No matter what I try, it's never enough to put the Freak down!_'

"Demon! Do not think that I do not know of your collaborations with the witch Cologne and her minion, the sorcerer Saotome! Prepare to be smote from the face of this - URK!" Kuno's speech was swiftly interrupted when his sister's ribbon wrapped around his throat and she proceeded to toss him aside. Stepping up to a cautious Ranma, Kodachi imperiously snapped her fingers. Sasuke promptly appeared and placed a bound stack of papers in her hand. Presenting them, Kodachi gave her best smile.

"Greetings Belathor, Baron of the Forest of Despair, Corrupter of Maidens." Still smiling, Kodachi gave a fairly deep bow, wanting the demon noble to take a liking to her. Ranma stared, wondering what the hell she was talking about. While bowed, Kodachi placed the stack of papers before him(4) and then straightened upright. "I come before you today, Belathor-sama, to beseech that you accept me a disciple as per this contract that I have had prepared for you." Her piece said, Kodachi stood waiting, smiling, for the demon noble to peruse the contract. Off to one side, Sasuke ensured that her foolish older brother would not interfere in this delicate bargaining session.

Far out of the way, Washu laughed herself sick watching Ran-ohki(Ran-Ma, whatever her guinea pig was called) stare blankly at what was obviously a very disturbed human girl. "I can't wait to tell Ryoko about this, she'll get a good laugh out of it."

Back towards the center of park, Ranma continued to stare helplessly at Kodachi. This situation was so far out of his comfort zone that the normally adaptable martial artist hadn't a clue what to do or how to react. What _could_ he do? Hell, he didn't even know if he could communicate with his craziest romantic pursuer.

^Um…wrong person?^ Kodachi blinked.

"Whatever do you mean Belathor-sama?"

'_Guess that means she can hear me. No clue if that's good or bad though._'

^My name isn't Belathor, it's Ra - Neko!^ Shout his 'name' to try and cover his slip. Kodachi tittered, daintily raising one hand in a lady-like gesture to cover her mouth.

"Oh, but that is impossible. You're Belathor, a demon baron capable of fulfilling my greatest dream. Ranma-sama…" Ranma shuddered as Kodachi crooned his name.

^No I ain't! I'm Neko, I'm Kasumi Tendo's pet, ask her!^

"Oh that won't be necessary Belathor-sama. If you wouldn't mind looking over my contract Belathor-sama, it's quite a good one." Kodachi nudged it closer to him, trying and failing to be subtle given the circumstances.

He had to stall, there was no way he was going to feed _another_ one of her obsessions. ^Uh, what exactly is it you want?^ Having received even the slightest bit of attention, Kodachi quickly launched into a long-winded, sappy rant about 'her' Ranma-sama, the love that she shared with her shy but truly manly love, Ranma Saotome. As her speech continued about wonderful Ranam-sama was and how glorious their eventual union would be, Ranma was distracted. Behind Kodachi, the huge sack that held Happosai's stolen loot started to creep away. '_So, that's where he disappeared too._'

^Gotta go, talk later.^ Hopping between her legs, Ranma built up a large amount of Ki in his lungs, dipping into the Soul of Ice to freeze it.

^BLIZZARD!^ Ranma roared mentally, reaching everyone but Sasuke and Kasumi(5). Exhaling while shouting, Ranma produced a massive cloud of ice particles and shards, tumbling in random patterns thanks to powerful, bitter winds. The end result was something like a frozen blender the size of a loaded tractor-trailer. Eyes widened all around as the Blizzard settled down. While the technique had been used on an area with little more then grass, limiting the potential destruction, it had frozen the entire area and left countless gouges in the soil. The bag of stolen undergarments in the center of the blast was a complete write-off. Nothing was left but frosted scraps. For a few moments, all was still. Then, main mass of the shredded underwear exploded up and out.

"NNNnnnooooooooo! My pretties! All my precious pretties, destroyed!" Happosai sniffed, looking a little scuffed up, but intact. "Even that special leather lingerie set I liberated from the Kuno mansion."

"Urk!" Kodachi twitched furiously, her rage at the shriveled Grandmaster coming back in full.

Ranma twitched a bit himself, aware that said lingerie had been bought with his seduction in mind. Happosai, meanwhile, continued to sob about his ruined pretties. Deciding to ignore the whole leather lingerie bit as best as possible, Ranma started building up a Hyper-beam. Happosai's head snapped towards him.

"YOU!" Unleashing his full battle aura again, lecher seemed to disappear, reappearing right in front of Ranma, letting loose with a kick that carried all his momentum.

**BOOM!**

Concrete dust flew into the air as the retaining wall for one of the flower displays shattered upon Ranma impacting it. Groaning in pain, Ranma missed hearing Kasumi shout 'Neko-kun!'. Forcing himself to his feet, Ranma tried to shake off his sudden case of double vision. '_God damn, the Old Freak can hit. I may be in trouble here._'

"Happo Mega Fire Burst!" With a loud ka-bang!, a firecracker the size of a sedan dropped next to Ranma. Eyes just about falling out of his head, Ranma whimpered as the wick of the bomb burned all the way down.

^Mommy…^

* * *

Washu blinked, watching the mini mushroom cloud bloom over the park. "Well…that's just ridiculous."

* * *

At ground zero of the Fire Burst, Ranma groaned in pain, struggling to stay conscious. A number of factors lead to this sorry circumstance. First off, while that had not been Happosai's biggest Fire Burst _ever_, it had been awfully damn close. Second was, that as a cabbit, Ranma was smaller and more fragile. His human body had been toughened by a life-time of abuse, a trait not shared by his current form. Finally, when the blast had gone off, Ranma had been attempting, too slow, to phase through the explosion instead of reinforcing his body with Ki. All this lead to one fact; he was _hurt_. Cataloging his wounds as the smoke cleared, Ranma admitted that it was once again time to beat a temporary rearward tactical maneuver.

"Still alive demon? Well old Happi can fix that for you."

'_Shit._' Ranma looked up to see a crazed Grandmaster of the Anything Goes school of Martial Arts standing over him with his pipe in one hand, glowing with malovent energy. The pipe went up.

"Any last words?"

'_I should have blasted you from a distance instead of going in hand-to-hand like I always do._' Ranma opened his mind up to project one last proclamation of defiance to the Old Freak as per usual, but that was not what came out.

"Unit faced with eminent destruction, unlocking maximum combat potential." Ranma's gem started flashing a bright white color. Confused, Happosai backed away, beginning to think that avenging his ruined pretties was not going to be as easy as he hoped. "Celestial Dragon form unlocked, beginning transformation." With that, the flashing white light turned into a unending beam, brightening until it reached into sky in the noon light. Yelping in fright, Happosai took off running as Ranma's body broke down and followed the light into the skies.

* * *

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Chanting the word in delight, Washu's fingers danced over her control board, ensuring that every system was operating at maximum efficiency. The scientist didn't want to miss a single moment of this incredible event. Something so wondrous that it could likened to recording a childbirth. As her top-of-the-line surveillance equipment captured every moment of Ran-ohki's first ship-form transformation, Washu couldn't help but giggle. "I feel like I discovered that I had mysterious baby brother just in time for the birth of his first kid!" Laughing manically, Washu zoomed in on the area of the sky over the park where the crystal structure of Ran-ohki's ship-form was materializing for the first time ever(if her sensors were correct about the slowness and clumsiness of the transmogrification).

* * *

'_I suppose it _would _take something like her pet undergoing a Sentei transformation to make Kasumi gape._'

Nabiki shook her head at her sister's utterly bewildered expression. Though, to be fair, her own sanity was hanging on by it's bleeding finger nails. A rabbit demon/spirit/thing she could handle, mentally, because of the sheer number of old legends that talk about that kind thing. But, all the anime in world couldn't _quite_ prep her for the sight of a talking jack-rabbit turning into a massive cloud of light. A cloud of light that was building something, Nabiki realized, eyes narrowing. It was a little hard to spot in that firework spectacular, but Nabiki was used to visually tracking Master level and higher Martial artists through explosions. She could pick out the outlines of something huge expanding inside the light.

'_This could be bad. Or good, depending on how far Neko plans on honoring our agreement._' Suddenly recalling that Happosai's location mattered a great deal, Nabiki started scanning the park. The Kunos were easily spotted, standing there, bug-eyed and gaping like fish. Happosai, on the other hand…was hauling ass out of the park. Swearing, the middle Tendo daughter wondered what the hell was going to happen when Neko finished changing and his opponent wasn't here anymore. It was about then that the light spiked, before vanishing altogether. Nabiki looked up, wondering what Neko had become.

It was, in a word, alien.

Larger then the Tendo's home, Neko's new form was made entirely from crystal. Though of a single, solid piece of crystal, Neko was multi-colored, the shift in hues so sudden that he appeared to be pieced together. This impression wasn't helped by the contrast between the core of his new form and the countless spikes that extended from it. The core was a polished obsidian, shaped into a flawless octahedron. From the surfaces of the core jutted a chaotic mess of spines and spires in all shapes and sizes, all made from what looked to be blood-red rubies. If one looked close enough at these protrusions, a pattern could be _felt_ but never quite seen. It danced just outside comprehension, tantalizing and distracting. This same pattern almost completely distracted its viewers from the thin and simple bands of bright blue that lay on top of every edge of the octahedral core, but the utter difference of the cheerful blue and ominous black and red stubbornly called attention to itself, refusing to go unnoticed. It the single strangest structure Nabiki had ever seen, and she'd been to Togenkyo(6)! Shaking off the disquieting feeling that had settled upon her, Nabiki turned to make sure Kasumi was ok, only to find that her older sister was now walking to the floating crystalline creature, a blissful expression on her face. Swearing out loud, Nabiki took off after her; Daddy would never stop crying if Kasumi ever actually got hurt.

* * *

Smiling serenely, Kasumi strode on to what had been a battlefield mere moments beforehand. When she had seen her baby start fighting Grandfather Happosai, Kasumi's heart had climbed into her throat. When he'd been hit by that terrifying bomb, the gentle-natured woman started heading to tears. Her building sorrow was completely blown away, though, when Neko transformed. Watching her pet leap into the sky as a column of light and rebuild himself as a gigantic crystalline structure had been utterly astounding to her, but calmness was a deeply set part of her nature. Her shock and awe were soon swept away, leaving only a growing delight in their place. Kasumi was a very domestic woman, finding fulfillment in her cooking and skill at keeping up her family home. Despite this, since the arrival of Genma and Ranma, Kasumi had, occasionally, felt…bored. They brought such new and interesting things and people into the Tendo's lives, breathing life into the dull rut their existence had fallen into. Being involved only in the peripheral of things as she was let her look at the thrill of an exciting life, but the young home-maker had never really seen a chance to star in a drama of her own. But now…Kasumi saw her chance to have just one little adventure of her own, to be a part of the excitement. Arriving underneath Neko's new form, Kasumi held up her arms.

"Neko-kun! Don't forget mommy!"

"Kasumi, don't do it!" Ignoring her younger sister, Kasumi cranked up her smile another notch, waving her arms.

"Down here Neko-kun, I'm ready to go." Swearing, Nabiki pulled up to her sister.

"Kasumi, what the hell do you think you're doing? It never ends well when you get into the middle of things in Nerima!" Kasumi never got a chance to answer. Moments after Nabiki got next to her sister, a circle of white light appeared on the ground beneath them.

^Designated enemy escaping, retrieving hosts for pursuit.^

"Oh shit." Nabiki whispered, frightened, as the light increased. Kasumi only giggled happily, the humdrum of her life already fading away.

* * *

Kodachi blinked as the light under Belathor's new form faded away, revealing that Kasumi and Nabiki had both disappeared. In the sky, the …being began to move away, the sun reflecting off of him.

"How strange."

"That accursed beast! It has absconded with the incomparably lovely Kasumi Tendo! I must gather warriors to aid me in my quest to rescue the fair Kasumi Tendo!" Kodachi watched, highly amused, as her brother about-faced and raced away, bokken waving wildly. Lingering long enough to watch her older brother crash through a series of bushes, Kodachi spoke, not bothering to look for her ninja.

"Sasuke, back to the manor. I must…_speak_ with Gosunkugi about the incorrect information he gave me."

Sasuke shuddered, feeling a deep well of sympathy for the pale and scrawny wanna-be mage. Kodachi was not going to be gentle when she got back to the Kuno family compound.

* * *

Seeing Ran-ohki teleport the two sisters surprised Washu. A little anyways. Watching the cabbit move away from the park at what was a very mild cruising speed for the fully activated star-ship was far more intriguing. Entering a quick command into her ever-present super-computer, Washu hurried after Ran-ohki. Zipping low over the ground, the scientist tried keeping an eye on the cabbit, but the clutter on the ground kept tripping her up. Growling in frustration that something was keeping her from studying this rare phenomenon, Washu decided to risk going into full flight; it wasn't as if anyone was paying attention to her with Ran-ohki in the sky! Rising above the trees and buildings, Washu zipped closer to Ran-ohki, studying his patterns as she did.

"That spire pattern is very odd, makes me think of quantum mechanics for some reason…"

^Attention, high-energy being. Cease pursuit or face termination.^

Washu froze as Ran-ohki's voice droned into her mind. '_That doesn't sound like him. Well, it's him, but…like a computer copy of himself. Hasn't he finished rebooting?_' Deciding that having a 'War-cabbit' running around an undeveloped planet operating solely on instincts and sub-routines was a very Bad Idea, Washu held still long enough to check that the tracer she'd slipped on the shorted-haired girl currently in the heart of Ran-ohki was still working through his shields before teleporting away.

* * *

Tenchi was praying for divine intervention. Even one of those less-then-benevolent deities would be much appreciated. The reason for this was two hot women(who couldn't even be remotely addressed as ladies at the moment) who were leveling the terrain after an argument over who Tenchi wanted to take for a date at the one-night-only festival being held in the nearest town. With such a prize at stake, it was no wonder that neither Katsuhito's best efforts or Sasami's most effective pleas were working. Though, Tenchi did have to admit that Sasami wasn't putting her best efforts into it. The younger princess of the Jurian royal family had been somewhat petulant since Ran-ohki's escape/disappearance. The normally sweet princess had been less then pleased to learn that the male cabbit couldn't be located, having been incredibly excited about playing with Ryo-ohki's new 'brother'. An actual temper-tantrum had taken place the next day, and despite an improvement in her attitude, Sasami still wasn't quite the adorable ball of sunshine she normally was. A state reflected in her cooking, cleaning, and interaction with the other girls. Wincing as what looked to be a burning tree-trunk flew past one of the windows, Tenchi vocalized his prayers.

"Please, kami-sama, please do something, anything to keep them from destroying the house…again."

With a soft _pop_ of displaced air, Washu appeared with a strange expression on her face. Scanning the living room, Washu quickly spotted Tenchi, who was holed up in the house alone to hopefully prevent stoking the flames of Ryoko's and Ayeka's fight.

"Quick Tenchi, where's Ryoko and Ryo-ohki? I need their help with Ran-ohki." Tenchi blinked.

"Oh, you found him?"

"In Nerima. I've been keeping an eye on the little guy for field data but he assumed his ship form and is flying over Tokyo." Tenchi winced, knowing that that wasn't going to end well.

"Well, they're outside, fighting again." Huffing, Washu ran outside and began shouting. Tenchi didn't quite make out what was being said over the explosions, but they and the shouting soon quieted down. There was a soft murmur outside, sporadically interrupted by excited squeals. This went on for a minute or two before the front door flew open.

"Tenchi! Tenchi!" Sasami squealed happily. "Washu-chan found Ran-ohki-kun! Isn't that great!" Humming, the princess skipped to the kitchen, eager to make something delicious in celebration. Distracted by Sasami's return to her usual self, Tenchi didn't notice Ayeka until the elder princess had his arm in a python-like grip.

"Lord Tenchi," she whispered demurely, cheeks tinged with blush "I'm ready for our date." Tenchi gave a strained smile, sweating popping up on his brow.

'_It could be worse….at least Ryoko isn't here too._'

* * *

Arriving at the coordinates her mother had given her, Ryoko gave the place a quick once-over, her attention soon diverted to the sight of Ran-ohki in his ship form. Quirking an eyebrow at his design, the former space pirate waited for some kind of hint on what Washu wanted her to do. At her feet, Ryo-ohki was quivering in excitement. The female cabbit was not just shaking, but bursting with excitement! At this short of a distance, there was no way she could miss the presence of the other cabbit. And with the all the stories Sasami had been telling her about the games they could play together…

"Miyah, Miyah!"

Ryoko looked down at her partner, surprised. "You're really worked up about this, aren't you?" The cabbit nodded, staring with pleading eyes. Ryoko sighed. "Mom, could we hurry this up, Ryo-ohki is about to pop." The scientist giggled a bit at the eager look on Ryo-ohki's face, but quickly forced herself to behave seriously.

"Now's good, actually. The little guy warned me off when I approached him, but I doubt that he'd do the same to Ryo-ohki." Ryoko kinda of doubted that, but what the hell, she and Ryo-ohki could handle a newbie, right? Besides, Mom was encouraging her and Ryo-ohki to have fun in broad daylight.

"Lets go Ryo-ohki! Time to round up your little pal." Miyahing loudly, Ryo-ohki quickly transformed and teleported Ryoko and Washu inside her control center before zipping after Ran-ohki.

"Open hailing frequencies!" Washu crowed. "We must make first contact!" Ryoko rolled her eyes, but did as her mother bade.

* * *

"It's all a bad dream, I'm going to wake up any moment…any moment at all. Wake up…wake up…"

Arms wrapped her legs, knees drawn up to her chin, Nabiki rocked back and forth, trying to snap herself out of what she dearly hoped was merely a strange nightmare. When that light had come down on her from Neko, the middle Tendo daughter had thought that she and Kasumi were about to die by one of the rabbit/demon/crystal things energy attacks. Instead, the two sisters had found themselves inside a half-dome room made from the same crystal that made up his exterior. Because of the dark walls, the lighting in the room was dim, and came mostly from the transparent crystal screens that dotted the room. It reminded her of scenes from more then a few of the old horror movies that played late at night, an impression not helped by the fact that she had appeared on a tilted bed with restraints built into it.

Creepy.

Sadly, Kasumi wasn't making things any better. The oldest Tendo girl was utterly cheerful despite the ominous atmosphere. Instead of cowering(like Nabiki), or at least retreating into silence, Kasumi had hopped off one of the other beds(7) and started wandering around the room, humming softly as she poked at screens and fiddled with the beds. Seeing the older girl act as if she were just riding a train to downtown Tokyo threw Nabiki further off-kilter. Her sister was slightly obvious to the troubles and happenstance around her, but to be kidnapped and be acting like she was just on a day trip…sometimes Nabiki hated her older sister's ability to remain effortlessly serene.

"Nabiki-chan, what's an 'associate interface'?" Nabiki's head snapped up, her mantra forgotten.

"Associate Interface? Let me see that." Briefly forgetting her fear of the situation, Nabiki unfolded herself and rushed to where Kasumi was standing, next to one of the bed/slabs. Floating above where someone's head would be if they laid down on the slab was a thin screen, roughly 10' by 16. The screen was almost completely invisible, except the white lettering glowing on it. Lettering that Nabiki noted was only visible from the bottom side. Pushing that observation aside for the moment, Nabiki uneasily slide herself onto the slab to better read the screen, which said…

_Associate Interface_

_State Identity_

Nabiki blinked, before licking her lips and speaking. "Nabiki Tendo." The lettering disappeared, replaced seconds later.

_Nabiki Tendo; access denied_

_Status: untrustworthy mercenary_

Nabiki blinked, before an intense fury flooded her. She made and honored an agreement with the little bastard, and he had the nerve to call her an untrustworthy mercenary! Nails digging into her hands, Nabiki slide off the slab and gestured for Kasumi to give it a try. Excited, the older brunette happily laid down and stated her name. "Kasumi Tendo." Nabiki squatted down near the head of the slab, wondering what the screen would say about her sister.

_Kasumi Tendo; access denied_

_Status: civilian/non-threat_

Nabiki quirked an eyebrow, feeling just slightly less pissed that Kasumi couldn't get access. Before she could say anything though, the screen changed.

_High energy entities detected_

_Expediting core personality reboot…_

_Beginning auto-defense systems_

* * *

Inside Ryo-ohki, Ryoko and Washu both heard an incessant beeping start up. Twisting their heads, Ryoko waved a hand over the control panel, calling up the alert blaring at them. "Weapon lock?" Ryoko muttered in disbelief. "Mom…"

"…now would be a good time to start dodging."

"Evasive maneuvers, Ryo-ohki!" Miyahing in surprise, the cabbit jetted left at an angle no human craft could have duplicated. A moment later, a thick column of angry red light shot through where the exotic females had just been.

"What's going on here?" Washu muttered in shock. "He's a cabbit, Ryo-ohki's a cabbit; why the hell is he…oh." Ryoko snapped around to stare at her mother/creator, leaving Ryo-ohki to dodge the next few shots that came screaming across the sky at them.

"'Ooh?' Some cabbit brat is trying to blast us out of the sky and all you can say is 'ooh'? I'm going to need more then that if you want us out of here in one piece mom!" Neither woman noticed the change in direction or the squeal of fright from Ryo-ohki as the cabbit started running from Ran-ohki, who was pursuing them, all weapons firing. Washu laughed sheepishly, raising her hands to try and hide her blush. Meanwhile, Ryo-ohki went into a steep climb to try and shake what to her appeared to be a very angry older brother.

"I might have over/under-estimated certain things about Ran-ohki's programming. It's not my perfect design after all, and even geniuses make mistakes!" Ryoko trembled, trying to control the urge to hit her mother; it wouldn't have landed anyways.

"Well, _mother_, what do we do now?"

"Well-"

"MIYAH!" Ryo-ohki shook violently as Ran-ohki landed a hit through the more peaceful cabbit's shield, incidentally ending the conversation between Ryoko and Washu.

"Crap! Ryo-ohki, status!"

"Miyah…" The cabbit whined in pain as more and more shots started getting through her weakening shield. Gaping in shock at the numbers, Ryoko swore.

"Damnit to Hell! How is that bastard hurting her so much?" Washu huffed, reaching forward to tweak controls to maximize Ryo-ohki's performance.

"Ryoko…you have to realize that I never actually designed you and Ryo-ohki for combat. Your abilities were most given to you for self-defense. I'm just such a brilliant scientist that your abilities outstripped the best military tech anyone else could pit against you!" Washu laughed manically for a moment before wincing. "Unfortunately…who ever designed Ran-ohki was a weapons specialist. He's got a full war design, and those weapons of his are adapting to Ryo-ohki's defenses. We're going to have to be creative if we want to hold him off without either of us getting destroyed." Washu's personal computer bleeped. The diminutive scientist looked at it and blinked. "Uh. Nevermind. He stopped moving, or doing anything really…"

* * *

Ranma was used to waking in strange places and stranger situations. Mostly thanks to his father, the martial artist-turned-cabbit knew what it felt like to wake up flying through the air, underwater, in a snowstorm, being attacked by wolves, molested by angry/crazy women, being beaten on by said women, and waking up in a laboratory. So, when the young man woke up and felt a new set of 'first thing in the morning' sensations, he was actually rather curious; what could his fat idiot of a father have possibly done that landed them in this new circumstance?

'_It feels almost like I'm flyin' through the air again, but…aw shit._'

Ranma was in fact flying. Flying 1.756 kilometers above sea level to be precise, on a South by South-western course in non-stealth mode at longitude…

Ranma 'shook' himself, cutting off the flow of information. Just how did he know all that? Sure he'd traveled enough to know what it all meant but how did he get all those details when he hadn't even know where he was and what he'd been doing until his guidance systems had kicked in and…

Ranma stopped again, thinking very careful about the fact that he apparently now had a guidance system(_with_ FTL capabilities), an advanced scanner suite, an ECM module(including a handy scanner scrambler), a targeting module, a seemingly endless assortment of information storages banks and…and…

'_What, what's happened to me? I feel so different, and all these THINGS! How do I even know what they are? How did I freakin' get them in the first place!_' Ranma was only distracted from his building panic by an odd sort of tugging sensation on his attention. It was a clumsy way of putting it, but that was what it felt like. Focusing on the tugging, Ranma felt his vision break up into 8 'windows', together, they provided him with a complete view of everything around. Most of the view was filled with either the sky or Nerima, but one pane of sight had some sort of black and red crystalline object zipping away from him. As he tried to puzzle out what it was, he felt another 'tug' followed by a screen popping up in his sight. The screen contained an image of Nabiki and Kasumi hovering around a stone slab(_flight bed_ something whispered to him).

^Nabiki, Kasumi, where are you?^

* * *

"Nabiki, Kasumi, where are you?"

Both women looked up as an strange, hollow/echoing version of Neko's mental voice emanated from the ceiling. Kasumi blinked, wondering who was speaking as Nabiki relaxed ever-so-slightly. Actually dealing with someone she knew was FAR less stressful then blindly stumbling around in the 'belly' of something that _might_ be someone capable of discourse.

"We don't know. Why don't _you_ tell us where we are Neko?" Kasumi looked at Nabiki, surprised.

"Neko-kun talks?" Nabiki gave her older sister a blank stare.

"He turned into a giant flying crystal thing and you're surprised he can talk?" Kasumi blushed, adjusting her apron with her hands.

"I've never been on a real adventure before." Nabiki scowled.

"Then what do you call what happened at Togenkyo?" Kasumi blinked innocently.

"Wasn't that an Omai?" Nabiki twitched; sometimes she REALLY didn't like her sister's attitude.

"Uh, ladies? I don't wanna be a jerk or nothing, but someone want to tell me what's going on?" Nabiki sighed.

"You attacked Happosai, got beaten, transformed into a giant crystal thing that you called 'Celestial Dragon' form, and snatched us up. We haven't been able to see anything since then. Care to share, bunny-boy?" There was a pause.

"Umm, get back to you in a moment, got to deal with something else really quick." Nabiki's nails drew blood when Neko didn't respond to a few rather loud demands for attention.

'_Just you wait, nobody ignores Nabiki Tendo!_'

* * *

"Ryoko, have Ryo-ohki stop and open a channel to Ran-ohki." Ryoko shot a disbelieving look at her mother.

"Weren't we just running from mister 'mobile artillery'?"

"He's stopped attacking and moving. Plus, we haven't been getting any more of those 'high energy entities' messages. Stop stalling and open a line Ryoko!" Rolling her eyes, the ex-pirate press a button and sent a mental command through her bond with Ryo-ohki. Waiting for the right light on the panel to flash, Washu leaned forward. "Hello Ran-ohki-kun, feeling awake yet?" There was a long pause over the mic.

"That you, crazy-lady?" The voice was unmistakable. Ryoko shot a grin at her mother, who was scowling at the 'crazy-lady' comment.

"That's Washu-chan Ran-ohki!" On the other side of the connection, Ranma paused again, deciding how to deal with this.

"…whatever. What are you doing here? Where are you? What's that crystal thing I see? AND WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?" Both women winced at his angry scream.

"In order…I was following you to observe your behavior, I'm IN the crystal thing, the 'crystal thing' is Ryo-ohki's spaceship form, and you've manifested _your_ spaceship form. Any other questions Ran-ohki?"

The silence over the line felt…heavy. "I'm really a cabbit, aren't I?" Both women blinked in surprise at that particular comment.

"I'd say so, unless you're something else that turns into a big friggin' spaceship." Washu rolled her eyes at her daughter's silly comment. As if there was anything else in the universe that came close to a cabbit.

There was a grunt over the line. "Yeah, whatever. How do I turn back? And, um, how do I get people out of me?" Washu had to think about it for a second.

"Right, you teleported those two girls inside yourself, didn't you? Here's what you do Ran-ohki…"

* * *

"So…you girls wanna go home now?" Nabiki and Kasumi perked at the sound of Neko's voice.

"Yes, now would be nice!" Kasumi pouted, silently.

"Yeah yeah, you girls better strap yourselves in first." Nabiki stared at the ceiling angrily, until Neko spoke again. "Look, it ain't gonna hurt, just lay down and strap in. You don't wanna get flung around do ya?" It took them several long moments to figure the harnesses out, but eventually the two Tendo sisters secured themselves to the flight beds. The actual trip took less time then it did to buckle up. Before Nabiki could get over how comfortable the flight beds were, Neko was speaking again. "Here we are, Tendo Dojo."

"Great, let's get this over with. You and I have a few things to 'talk' about Neko once we get to my room, got it?"

"Maybe later. I've got to take of a few things."

"Neko-kun!" Kasumi shout cut off anything Nabiki would had to say. "Take me with you…please?" Curling her lower lip, widening her eyes slightly, Kasumi unleashed her ultimate weapon; the Dreaded Puppy-dog Pout. To one side, Nabiki shielded her eyes against the Pout, knowing that Neko was now lost to Kasumi's rarely used power.

"Get me out of here, quick!" As a colorless light filled the chamber to set her back on the ground, Nabiki felt a fleeting moment of sympathy for the furry and annoying bastard; nobody could resist Kasumi's Puppy-dog Pout.

Seeing that her sister was gone, Kasumi giggled. It was time for her adventure! "Neko-kun, let's go flying, please?" Her pet stuttered, before the eldest Tendo daughter felt the pressure of rapid movement.

"Ok-k Kasumi, let's go!"

"Yay!"

* * *

Ryoko watched Ran-ohki turn invisible and disappear from radar before zipping towards the upper atmosphere. Turning towards Washu, the ex-pirate decided to bug her mother about her decision.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to let him run around like that mom?" Washu shrugged.

"Why not? It's not like we could stop him without a planetary scale battle. A battle that we wouldn't be able to handle very well, if at all." Ryoko scowled.

"So you say, mom. Still, I've never thought that you would give up observing one of your guinea pigs."

Washu grinned broadly.

"Ryoko-chan, of course I wouldn't. But, in his delicate emotional state after his first transformation, it's better to follow him via satellite equipped with atmosphere reading devices programmed to track the disturbances created by Ran-ohki's mass." Ryoko snorted as she ordered a sad Ryo-ohki to head back to the shrine.

"Only you mom…"

* * *

#Oh you frog-fucking bastard.# Mousse muttered in his native tongue as an enormous crystal thing flew over the Tendo Dojo just as the Hidden Weapons master turned on to their block. Ducking back around the corner, the near-sighted Amazon grudgingly slid his glasses on to watch the crystal thing hover over the Dojo briefly before shining a column of light on part of the roof. Seconds afterwards, the thing flew away. Waiting for a few minutes to ensure that the thing was gone, Mousse snuck to the house. Hopping onto the wall, the former Amazon next jumped on to the roof. Slipping past windows, Mousse noted that Kasumi and Akane weren't home. Genma and Soun were in the Tendo patriarch's room, chatting about something. Ducking under Nabiki's windows as the girl was pacing around, Mousse finally slid to Happosai's window. Clipping through the lock with a bit of wire, Mousse pried the window up. Dropping in, Mousse listened for anyone who might have heard something. When no one came, the Weapon Master crept towards the closet. Taking a deep breath, Mousse threw the door open.

"Get your own hiding spot!" Mousse blinked as the shriveled Grandmaster of the Anything Goes school of Martial Arts slammed the closet door shut. The Hidden Weapons user slowly paled, as his mind informed him that the closet was empty except for Happosai.

"Oh shit!" The closet slide open.

"Wait a minute, what are doing here?" Happosai's eyes narrowed. "Did you have something to do with my treasures disappearing?" Mousse stuttered, making warding gestures as he back away.

"What? No no! Not at all!" Happosai fully stepped out of the closet, glowing with his building anger.

"Where are my treasures!"

* * *

"_I am sorry about this, but better you then me."_

The words rang through Gosunkugi's head as he woke from a deep slumber. A chloroform-induced slumber if the taste of newly minted copper in his mouth was any indication.

"This is bad."

"Oh, you have no idea, peasant. But do not worry, I, Kodachi the Black Rose, shall educated you on the depths of misery one can fall into. Especially when said one _fails_ me." The word fail was spat like the bitterest venom, sending chills of terror down the scrawny boy's spine. Lifting his head, the aspiring magic-user felt his nightmares come to life at the sight of Kodachi Kuno wearing an outfit of leather and steel, a whip designed like a wild rose stem in hand.

" P-please, you don't have to do this! I'm sorry! What whatever I did, I'm sorry!" Kodachi's eyes narrowed as she expertly moved the whip into a ready position.

"You're not truly sorry, worm. Not yet." With that, Kodachi began to flog the boy whose incorrect information had humiliated her in front of a being of true power.

* * *

"Stop bullying him right now!" Eyes flashing, hips and feet set, one hand pointing at a truly commanding tilt, Akane was the epitome of Tsundere woman defending a 'hapless' individual.

Sadly, this was all wasted given that she was pointing at nothing, nobody was in trouble near her…and she was in the middle of a crowded mall.

"Akane!" Yuka hissed, red-faced in embarrassment of her friends action. "Get off the table!"

Akane blinked, slowly looking around the food court she had just shouted in. Seeing the small sea of quizzical faces staring at her, Akane turned beat-red and quickly got into her seat, hunching her shoulders in a vain attempt to hide from the crowd.

"Stupid Ranma." The girl muttered. "Somehow, this is all his fault…"

* * *

1.) The priests hadn't actually been looking at his body, but his aura. He had a noticeably aged aura coursing with lust and greed. His spiritual presence was so bad that most well-trained exorcists and spiritualists mistook him for a demon. He'd gotten a few decent treasures from beating up and robbing such individuals but given their powers, it generally wasn't worth getting spotted in the first place.

2.) Intense and/or unexpected obsession.

3.) It was still burning thanks a trick he'd made himself.

4.) Turned so that he could read them.

5.) No, the Kunos don't have psychic abilities. They're just plain crazy and it lets them hear things others don't. Mostly because their brains are so scattered they have almost no defense against outside influences.

6.) The floating island from the Ranma ½ movie, Nihao My Concubine. You have to admit that their tree-house city was pretty odd.

7.) There were 4 of them, arranged in a circle, all tilted towards the center and built with safety harnesses, not restraints.

* * *

**Author' Note:** Behold, for I have written!

It has taken me far too long, but here sit's the newest installment of Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah! I know that quite a few of you will be pleased as punch; Ranma has taken ship form! Next of course, is him beginning work on a human form, which even MORE of you guys have been very eager to see. But, be patient my children, Uncle Tigee will dole out the literary gifts…eventually.

The Tenchi crew will continue to maintain their distance, so as not to set off the war-cabbit, but you can beat your bottom dollar that Ryo-ohki and Sasami will NOT be pleased by this state of action. Look forward to a rebellion of cuteness in the coming chapters. No Sailor Senshi appearances, but honestly, the girls are in a fugue state right now, not sure where they should go with this. But, you mustn't count them out yet; in the name of Love they soldier on!

Anyways, after nearly 2 miserable years of unemployment, I have finally found work. It's enough to keep me off the street, but it does take away from my writing time(sad face). So, I regret to inform you all that my updates will probably be even slower, unless I receive a flood of inspiration. Still, as they say 'a starving artist inspires only a month before they find his emaciated body somewhere'. Well, nobody actually says it, but someone probably said it at least once, somewhere. Anyways…

Inconceivably yours,

Tigee86.

* * *

**Omakes…**

Omake Idea thought up by Lord Edric, put to Microsoft Word by Tigee86:

"And now, my ambitions shall be completed."

Smirking, Sosuke Aizen gazed out upon what remained of the local structures. Briefly, the captain-turned-traitor thought that only a full-scale bombing run from one of the human armies could have done a better job of leveling the town.

"Y-you…haven't won…yet…" Feeling a spike of amusement, Aizen dropped his gaze down to the battle-torn ground.

Scattered across the area were bodies, living and dead, of Aizen's arrancars and Soul Society's shinigami. The closest to Aizen at the moment was the intriguingly unique, Ichigo Kurosaki. The orange-haired Soul Reaper was laid out less then 10 feet from Aizen's feet, one hand dug into the rubble in an effort to drag himself forward for one last attack on the traitorous captain. Despite having only one working eye at the moment, Ichigo's glare was still quite fierce, channeling all the young man's hatred and fury into a burning glare aimed directly at the man who's manipulations had caused the destruction of Ichigo's home town.

Personally, Aizen thought it was quite funny.

"Oh…here I stand, moments away from crafting the Key needed to access and slay the King and ascending to godhood in his place. Not a single Shinigami stands ready to prevent me, not even Yamamoto." Aizen gestured casually towards the Captain-general of Soul Society. The scarred elder Shinigami was unconscious and buried under a collapsed building. "Tell me Ichigo Kurosaki, just what could possibly make you claim that I have not won?"

Unable to think of anything to say against Aizen's claim of victory, Ichigo merely continued glaring, saving his breath for crawling at Aizen. Shaking his head, the traitor raised his sword, ready to plunge it into the keystone.

"And now, let a new God be born!"

_ZAP!_

Ichigo froze, his working eye widening. Months of struggling, endless battles, and friends and family dying, all for it to end like this?

"This is too cruel, even for irony…"

"MIIIYYAAAAAAHYH!" ^DAMN YOU, DEUS EX MACHINA!^

* * *

Dream up by Kaiya Eri Ishikawa, put to pen by Tigee86:

"This is Broody, in position."

"This is Pinkie, in position." An expectant silence filled the air and radio waves as three figures waited for a forth to check in. Finally, the largest figured sighed, flipping a page in his book with one hand as he pressed the speak button with the other.

"Blondie, are you in position?"

"I'm in place, but this mission is stupid and so are these names. I don't wanna use them."

'Pinkie' screeched over the radio, drawing winces from all the others. "NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU THINK NARUTO, SO KEEP YOUR STUPID MOUTH SHUT, SHANNERO!"

"Children," the amused older male voice of the largest figure came across the radio "the target is running away from the sound." The target's head start made things more difficult, but Team 7, with Kakashi, Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke eventually managed to capture and restrained Tora the cat using superior(barely) ninja skills. It was not a mission without it's dangers as Naruto's heavily scratched up face could attest but with their success, Team 7 returned to the Hokage's tower and handed Tora over the wife of the Fire Country lord. The ninja pre-teens were listening to the Hokage list some possible new missions for the team when Tora slipped from her owner's arm jumped to the floor. Half-way there, all hell broke loose.

The big window behind the Hokage and his assistants for the day shattered as a bright beam of red light flew through it and struck the escaping cat. Tora's yowl of fright transformed as the light concealed the feline, becoming something _else_…

As the red light faded away, Tora the Cat hit the ground as the new and improved, Tora the Cabbit.

Looking at the astonished ninja and noblewoman, Tora miyahed loudly.

^You can take my tuna dish and my catnip mouse, but you shall never take…MY FREEDOM!^

With that odd pronouncement, Tora the Cabbit turned translucent and sink through the floor. Calmly, the Hokage raised his hands and tried to dispel what he sincerely hoped was a genjutsu. When nothing happened, he maintained his calm and addressed the Lady of the Land of Fire in the only way that seemed appropriate.

"As Hokage of Konoha, I must inform you that as your pet can now apparently phase through solid objects, no ninja of mine will ever touch the 'Capture Tora' missions again. Ever."

A reverently 'A-men' quickly followed from the ninja present.


	12. 12, or Help, my daughter has gone crazy!

**Ranma Saotome Doesn't Miyah!**

**Disclaimer:** (Whispering) This is Tigee, broadcasting from the darkest corners of the Writer's mind. The Enemy has begun probing for my home base, but they shall never learn its hidden location. Meanwhile, I started entrenching myself for the coming battle, laying in supplies and reinforcing my defensive structures. If this broadcast reaches you, I have one thing to say…THE WRITER OWNS NOTHING, YOU HEAR ME?

**NOTHINGGGGGGG!**

**Intro:** Hello hello all, and how are we doing today! As I sat down to start this chapter, door open to enjoy the late autumn sun and wind, I realized just what was going to happen here in chapter 12; we're going to jump past 100,000 words! For those of you who don't know this little bit of trivia, the average length of a novel is 100k words, a barrier that RSDM is breaching and going strong! I know it's not a huge accomplishment, especially compared to some of the saga-length stories on this site, but it means a lot to me and I would have never gotten this far without you guys telling me how much you liked this story. I'd also like to say a big thank you to Doc Flareon, my pro-bono editor, who keeps me from _completely_ embarrassing myself grammatically. It doesn't hurt that he occasionally asks after how the chapter is going, reminding me that yes, I actually wrote something people want to read! Anyways, thank you guys and girls. Your positive feedback means more to me then I'm comfortable admitting…

"Normal Speech"

'_Inner Thoughts'_

^Telepathy^

#Foreign Languages#

"Speech by Empowered Beings" a.k.a. Speaking spirits, kami, demons, and humans emitting power at high levels.

* * *

Hidden safely in the depths of the asteroid ring separating the fourth and fifth planet of its assigned solar system, Juraian galactic probe 1849-RPBS tirelessly scanned the space around it, paying particular attention to the third planet orbiting Sol. 1849-RPBS was a very advance model, having been replaced recently at the command of the Emperor of Jurai and His wives when the aforementioned august individuals had last visited Terra to see their children. As a late-production model, the 'Royal Princess Baby-Sitter' probe was more than capable of immediately spotting Ranma's transformation into a full-fledged cabbit ship-form. Given the clumsiness of his first transformation, Ranma had no hope of hiding it, and all the full details were faithfully recorded by the Juraian device. Moments afterward, as the probe tried to send this startling information back to its owners, a brilliantly written computer virus planted by Washu activated and everything the probe had gathered relating to cabbits was sent to Washu instead before being deleted off the probe's memory banks. Had the probe been the least bit sentient, it probably would have been driven mad by the sheer number of times that particular set of actions was repeated that day. As it was, 1849-RPBS _did_ soon develop a few strange …quirks that the manufacturer would soon be hard-pressed to explain to his irritated Emperor.

* * *

Meanwhile, a certain martial artist-turned-cabbit and his 'owner' were both enjoying themselves immensely.

"Weeeeee!" Kasumi cheered as Neko buzzed close enough to a skyscraper to rattle the reflective windows. The cabbit/spaceship delighted her by slipping out of the business district and heading out over the river that made its way sluggishly past the massive foreign city. The home-making young woman had no real idea where she and her pet were, but she didn't care. All Kasumi cared about was that she was watching an unfamiliar city in a distant land pass underneath as she flew through the sky. It was exciting and exhilarating, made better by the little tricks and abilities that Neko was teaching her, like that command to make the cabin turn transparent. Oh sure, it _sounded_ like he was mumbling to himself but Kasumi just KNEW he hadn't forgotten about her, and Kasumi was very good at listening to other people. So, she listened to Neko ramble quietly with one ear and watched the world gleam below her with both eyes. Speaking of which, the sprawling city was gone, replaced by rolling countryside. Kasumi's smile slipped just a little as after a few minutes the pastoral view was replaced by an ocean…again. While the saintly woman could very well enjoy cruising all over the world all day, it wasn't quite what she'd really been looking forward to.

"Neko-kun…can we go on our adventure now?" The cabbit didn't answer, muttering something about trying to figure out what an 'Event Horizon' was. "Neko-kun!"

"Eh, what?"

Kasumi pouted slightly, upset that he'd forgotten such an important thing. "Our adventure, can we go now?"

Ranma's mind screeched to a halt, trying to process what Kasumi had just said. "You mean, just go? Why?"

Kasumi crossed her arms over the safety straps, pout increasing. "Because that's what happens when a maiden gets kidnapped!"

Neko was silent for a few minutes and Kasumi waited just as quietly.

"So…you're supposed to be on an adventure because you got 'kidnapped'?"

Kasumi nodded, smiling brightly. "Of course. Can we send Father and Uncle Saotome a ransom note before we leave though, I don't want them to worry about where I am." Ranma found himself speechless trying to process the logic of sending a ransom to _prevent_ someone from worrying. "Ooh! Let's send a picture too. Those fireworks will make a lovely background." Shaking off the shock, Ranma quickly spotted what Kasumi was talking about. There was some sort of festival going on a river shore below them. It was a good sized, dark looking river and several miles of its shore on one side were lit up by strands of lights. Occasionally the brightest fireworks going off in the sky reflected off the river illuminating both sides with pale flashes and dancing shadows. It was an interesting effect even to Ranma and with Kasumi gently pleading with him to get a picture, the transformed martial artist eventually agreed. Picking a less populated area, Ranma teleported Kasumi down before focusing on what Washu had told him about his transformations.

* * *

Kyle Hunt stood outside the kitchen entrance of the Key West Shrimp House enjoying the quiet and a bit of weed. The dirty blonde wasn't a heavy user, but it was Regatta weekend and with all the out-of-towners in to watch the boat racing and drink beer, his shift had been Hell. Content, the 19 year-old ignored one of his co-workers exiting the kitchen and tossing something in the dumpster before going back in. Considering some of the other guy's habits, he wasn't worried about being turned in. Of far more interest was the silent flash of light coming from the nearby sidewalk. Pinching off the ember and hiding his blunt away, Kyle wandered over, instantly spotting the girl staring at the fireworks with awe.

#Hey.# He called out. #If you're looking for the restaurant doors, they're around the corner.# The modestly dressed girl, no, woman, turned towards him with a puzzled expression. She had noticeably Oriental features he realized when the safety light outside the kitchen door illuminated her face, and her nationality was easy enough to pin down when she talked.

"What?"

Kyle had seen _way_ too many of his older brother's animes not to recognize the Japanese word for 'what'.

#Do you speak English?#

"Oh!" #Yes, I do. I learned in High school.#

Kyle nodded. #Cool. You want something?#

Kasumi considered it, looking back at the fireworks.

#An adventure.# Kasumi said finally, deciding that it was past time for her to get things going. #And a picture too if you have a camera, please.# Kyle smirked, deciding to let that first one slid. She didn't look like the type to enjoy dirty jokes.

#My boss has a Polaroid camera I can use, but what's up with this 'adventure' stuff?# A very small frown appeared on Kasumi's face. Neither individual paid attention to the cabbit appearing on Kasumi's shoulder, though Ranma was curious about was going on.

#My baby sister…# Kasumi started slowly. #has the most exciting life. Boys have always admired her. They used to challenge her to fights for the right to date her every morning and even when she got engaged they still adored her. Even girls always pay attention to her. And that's not all. Recently, strange visitors have been coming to our house, and they always have business with Akane and her fiancé Ranma. There's fights, and chases, and powers, and then a handsome prince whisks Akane off to a strange and far away land. Ranma and his friends always have to race off to rescue her and when that's not happening there are strange things happening at home. It's all so…exciting.# Ranma winced as Kasumi sighed softly. The young woman was about to tell the younger boy that wished her life was half as interesting when he spoke up.

#It sounds like your sister's life sucks. He told her.# Kasumi and Ranma stared at him in shock at the man's dismissive tone. #Just how often does that crap happen to her?#

#C-crap?# Kasumi stuttered, amazed that anyone would refer to Akane's life that way. Kyle snorted, lighting up a cigarette and missing the glare from the cabbit.

#Yeah. If I had to deal with half that shit, my brothers would start fucking people up. Who'd want to deal with all that?# Kyle lazily puffed away at the cancer stick hanging from his lips. #I'd rather enjoy myself then get dumped on. Go to a few parties, smoke a little weed, drink a few beers, you know, relax.# Seeing Kasumi's scandalized look, Kyle chuckled. #Not your thing huh? It's cool, Bill's like that; only drinks on holidays and big birthday parties. Bill's my older brother.# Kyle explained, seeing the puzzled look.

#Oh.# Kasumi murmured. #What does he do for fun?# The young home-maker inquired, trying to recall what passed for manners in an English speaking country. Kyle shrugged.

#Watch movies, hang out, play games. If you can get him talking, Bill will chat your ear off about what places he'd visit if he had the money. Travel the world, see the sights, eat strange food.# Kyle finished his cigarette as his phone went off. After glancing at the glowing text, Kyle put it away. #I'm gonna go get that camera.# Kasumi nodded, lost in thought about what the younger man had talked about. A miyah from Neko dragged her out of her thoughts in time for Kasumi to see the 19 year-old to hold up a battered Polaroid camera. #Smile.# Plucking Neko off her shoulder, Kasumi held him to her chest and smiled cheerily. A quick flash later Kyle handed her the developing photo. #I'm heading out, good luck.# Watching the man smoothly hop in his car and drive away despite the THC in his system, Kasumi thought long and hard about what she wanted to do next. Lifting Neko up to look him in the eyes, Kasumi made her decision.

"Take me home Neko-kun."

* * *

"Do you hear that, Saotome?" As was traditional for their games, Genma didn't even hesitate to look up from the shoji board and began to look wildly around.

"Sound, what sound Tendo?" Genma asked his long-time friend, giving the mustached man plenty of opportunity to move a few pieces. Strangely, the board was the same when Genma looked back. Glancing up at Tendo quizzically, Genma noted that Tendo wasn't even looking at the board, but was staring at the ceiling. '_Hmm, he must actually hear something._' Joining Tendo in staring at the ceiling, both men waited for the sound to repeat itself.

_Thump!_

"Hmm." Genma scratched his chin, thinking. "That sounded like a body being bounced off of something."

"That came from the bedrooms upstairs. Do you think my daughters came home?"

"Possibly Tendo, let us check." Casually, the two martial artists mounted the stairs and began hunting down the sound, which was louder and more frequent up here. When they tracked down the noise, both men were horrified to find that it was coming from the Dreaded Master's room. Exchanging looks of terror, the two old friends began a silent exchange made possible by 20 plus years of friendship and mutual suffering.

_When did the Master come back home?_

_Who knows, who cares; he's back! We have to get out before he spots us!_

_We figure what he's doing now from Nabiki-chan later._

_Lead the way Tendo._

Sneaking away carefully, Genma and Soun both ignored Nabiki's door opening. They'd call later, escape was more important.

Minutes earlier, Nabiki had finally given up pacing and had seated herself at her desk. Sorting through her pictures and papers to calm down, Nabiki turned over what she'd learned today in her head. Obviously, the furry/crystalline thing had WAY more secrets then she originally guessed. More dangerous as well. Still, at least he seemed willing to uphold his deals. Putting away a sorted stack of photos, Nabiki tapped a finger on the desk. Putting aside the endless questions about what Neko was that she couldn't answer, Nabiki decided to focus on what the creature wanted with Ryoga. "Nothing nice, I know that."

_Thump_

Nabiki frowned, wondering what that sound was.

_Thump thumpThump_

"What the…?" Nabiki murmured, standing up. Stepping out of her room, Nabiki tracked the thumping to Happosai's room. Nabiki stood in front of the old pervert's room for several moments with a quirked eyebrow as another thump rang out. '_Hmm, guess Happosai made it home ok, though I do wonder about the sound._' Schooling her face to her regular smirk, Nabiki knocked on the door. "Happosai, are you in there?" The room was quiet for several seconds.

"Hello Nabiki-chan, what can I do for you?"

"I'd like to know what that thumping sound is, and maybe what that mess in the park was about." Of course she knew exactly what it was about but it was always amusing to hear the lecher's version of things.

"Uhh, I don't know what you're talking about Nabiki-chan!"

"For the love of the gods, help me Nabiki Tendo!" _THUMPcrash!_

Nabiki blinked. "Happosai, was that Mousse?"

"…no."

"Uh-huh. I'm coming in Happosai."

"Don't Nabiki-chan!" Ignoring the shout, Nabiki pushed the door open. The middle Tendo daughter paused a moment at the sight within but her sense of humor, such as it was, reared its head.

"Branching out are we Happosai?" The old pervert flushed in humiliation at the suggestion while Mousse managed to look up at her with horror in his eyes from where he'd been pinned to the floor. Well, not just pinned. The Hidden Weapons master had been thoroughly pummeled and tied up with rope and chains. The source of the thumping was easily explained as Mousse's glasses were shattered and there was a large and rough dent in the wall of Happosai's room were the Grandmaster had been slamming the Amazon's head into it. To top it all off, a crude gag made from Mousse's clothes had been rammed in the fighter's mouth, no doubt right after she had knocked.

"It's not what it looks like Nabiki-chan!" The old lecher sputtered. "I was just teaching this whelp a lesson about intruding were he isn't welcome…and stealing! Nobody steals from me!" _That_ caught Nabiki's interest. What could Mousse possibly want from Happosai bad enough to risk the Grandmaster's notoriously bad temper?

"Mmph! Mmmmmmmm!" Nabiki looked down, smiling.

"What's wrong Mousse, need some help?" The Weapon Master nodded frantically, eyes wide. "Before I do anything about this, let me ask you a question. Just how many times have you kidnapped or threatened my baby sister?" Mousse's eyes went wide as Happosai cackled. Smirking broadly, Nabiki turned and left, pausing only to wave at Happosai. "Enjoy your fun Happosai, I'll be in my room until dinner if you need any suggestions."

After the door closed, the Grandmaster of the Anything Goes Style cackled again and leaned forward to stare Mousse in the eyes. "So boy, just where were we?"

Mousse whimpered.

* * *

Kodachi sat perfectly still in her favorite chair, wearing her favorite robe, with a cup of her favorite tea steaming on the table beside her. Sasuke knelled behind her chair, staying absolutely silent as he waited for his mistress to finished calming down. Kodachi had been incredibly worked up about the whole situation with her 'Destined patron for future Greatness'. Discovering that she had been utterly mislead by Gosunkugi had sent the Kuno heiress to the darker parts of her mind for a time and only hours later was she finally calming down. "Sasuke"

"Yes mistress." The ninja responded immediately.

"Is that idiot-mage still alive?"

"Yes mistress."

Kodachi thought about ordering the ninja to dump the boy somewhere to get him away from her, but reconsidered. He was still useful, if less reliable then she originally thought. Still, the debacle did offer something salvageable. Learning that her future patron was a dragon gave her several options on how to approach him for his favor, though the unbalanced gymnast was rather curious about why a dragon was named 'Cat'; perhaps it was a nickname?

"I shall have Gosunkugi look into that once he wakes up." Kodachi whispered to herself. Standing up, Kodachi exited her sitting room, leaving her tea to be picked up by one of the cleaning servants. Sasuke, knowing it was expected of him, followed the girl as she walked purposefully through her family's manor. The ninja servant did grow rather nervous when Kodachi made her way to the family Relic and Treasure Vault, resting place of many a strange and powerful object. Opening the secure door, Kodachi stepped through and snapped her fingers. "The register, Sasuke."

"Yes mistress." The small ninja vanished briefly, reappearing holding an overstuffed binder. "Here it is mistress." After a gesture from Kodachi, Sasuke undid the strings holding the binder shut and held it up so she could flip through it without effort. Humming, Kodachi browsed the register of her family vault, occasionally pausing to read the details of the entries, one finely manicured nail tracing the words.

"Now then, where _is_ that Orb…"

* * *

Feeling much relaxed from her day out with her friends, Akane stepped into her home with a smile on her face. "Hello everyone, I'm home!"

"Akane-chan is home!"

Akane paled as the creaky old man voice reached her ears, accompanied by the very faint sound of a Grandmaster level thief/martial artist/peeping tom excitedly rushing down the stairs. "Oh no, when'd he get back?" A moment later a shrunken, shriveled pervert had bounded into sight and latched onto her chest. Shrieking in feminine rage, Akane attempted an elbow drop on the old man's head. Moving swiftly, Happosai avoided the blow and crawled around the girl's body to give her bottom a fond squeeze.

"He he he, always a pleasure Akane-chan!" Screaming again, Akane managed through sheer luck to swat Happosai off of her butt and further into the house. "Aww…" Happosai whined, poorly attempting to plead with puppy-dog eyes. "why do you have to be so mean Akane-chan!" Weeks of pent up frustration and days of nervousness finally found an outlet as an over-sized red-glowing wooden mallet appeared in Akane's hands and was brought up overhead.

"**DIE!**"

"Ooh, today is just not a good day to be a harmless old man." Deciding he didn't want to add a malleting to today's list of indignities, Happosai leapt back with the full extent of his speed…and the top of Akane's mallet grazed the tip his nose before crashing into the floor with an explosive force that hurled wood splinters and Grandmaster to the end of the front hall. "Holy Buddha's Balls! How'd an untalented half-trained brat like you do that?" Happosai's eyes bulged as the mallet came up again with the same red glow.

"**DIE PERVERT!**"

"Yaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!"

_BOOM!_

Bouncing rapidly off the front room walls and up the stairs Happosai bled off the concussive force of another near-hit, a zigzagging pattern that had the advantage of making him very hard to hit. It was an old trick of Happosai's and it served him well in this stead, taking him to the upstairs hallway without Akane managing a third shot at him though the enraged schoolgirl was on his heels. Darting past an amused looked Nabiki standing in her doorway, Happosai threw open the door to his own room, planning to climb out the window and hope that Akane got distracted by the Amazon male lying tied up on his floor. The old Grandmaster was _quite_ irked to find that the little near-blind snot-nosed brat had somehow freed himself and was in the middle of using HIS planned exit route. "Damn it." Happosai groused. "How'd you get out of that? I've put ninjitsu specialists in that kind of binding before and none of them got out of it half as fast." Happosai paused, looking thoughtful. "Well, Genma used to but that lazy fool always was good at saving his own skin." Ignoring Happosai's commentary, Mousse glanced over the Grandmaster's head and frantically finished scrambling out of the window. "Don't ignore me you sniveling…oh wait…" Happosai turned slowly, unhappily taking in a furious Akane lining up with her Ki-infused mallet.

'_I really got to start paying more attention to what I'm doing. These brats are all getting so annoying these days…_'

_**POW!**_

* * *

Carefully strapped into a flight bed, Kasumi cheerfully watched the countryside of her native country roll on underneath her pet/mount/magical animal companion. Floating above her in easy view was the AI(Associate Interface) screen. Massive amounts of information scrolled across the holographic screen in the Japanese language, though the young woman still didn't understand most of it. Still, she had a beautiful view, a new goal for her life, and a magical companion to love and mother; what more could a woman ask?

"Are we almost home Neko-kun?"

"Just about. We're over Nerima now and…" Silently, a small object shot past the cabbit and rider achieving the upper edge of LEO at the top of its arch before falling again.

"Oh my! What was that!"

"According to my scanners…a 2 and a half foot tall, high life-force being generating a localized spatial warp. So, my guess is Happosai."

"Oh, will Grandfather be alright?"

"Meh. The old letch is tougher then rocks. He'll be fine. Ok, we're here. Everybody off!" Kasumi giggled a bit as colorless light filled the chamber and deposited her in front of her house. Brushing her off her clothes out of long habit in preparation of heading inside, Kasumi paused, feeling an odd urge. Obeying it, she held out her hands in time to caught Neko in his cute little form as he fell from the sky. Giggling, Kasumi lifted Neko and kissed his nose which caused a brief pinkish light in his forehead jewel. Content, Kasumi headed inside, patting Neko when he gave a dazed 'miyah'. Stepping in her family's home, Kasumi called out 'I'm home' as she removed her shoes. A crash from the kitchen answered her. Confused, the domestically inclined woman headed for her domain, still holding her magical pet who was recovering from the smooch he'd been given.

"Hello?"

There was a bit more clanging from the kitchen before Akane stepped out, holding a frying pan and looking sheepish. "Hi Kasumi, back from your picnic?" Kasumi blinked once, confused, before recalling that Akane hadn't been present for any of the excitement that afternoon.

"Well, yes." Kasumi said slowly, not elaborating or explaining at all, the closest she could bring herself to lying. "Akane-chan, what are you doing in the kitchen?" Akane brightened up, waving the pan in her hand.

"Oh, well you weren't home so I thought I'd go ahead and start dinner for you, it's getting late in the afternoon after all."

"Miyah! Miyah miyah MIYAH!" Akane and Kasumi were both surprised at the volume and force of Neko's cries, which easily carried to where Nabiki was sitting in her room. The two women were even more surprised when Neko wiggled out of Kasumi's grasp and dropped to the floor. Hopping over to the stunned female martial artist, Neko did _something_ and the next thing anybody knew, Akane was being dragged away from the kitchen, screaming, by a creature a fraction of her size. Kasumi just stared blankly as her sister struggled and fought, trying(1) with all her strength to keep the rabbit-looking creature from hauling her away. In very little time Akane disappeared around the corner of the front room and into the dojo courtyard screaming in rage as Neko hauled her away by one foot. Kasumi stared a moment or two longer before deciding that everything was fine. Neko was such a sweetie after all.

"I suppose I better start dinner then. I always did think better while I was cooking." Humming, Kasumi stepped into her kitchen to get to work on the evening meal.

* * *

"Stop it you furry menace, stop stop stop!" Nabiki paused mid-movement, a sheet of debts due clutched in her hand.

'_Is that Akane screaming out in the yard?_'

"Someone help! I've been kidnapped by a magic bunny rabbit!" Sighing, Nabiki put the paper down and stood up to look out the window of her room. Sure enough, there was her sister being dragged across the yard by Neko. Little bastard was even making it look easy.

"Magic powers or not, how IS he doing that?" A moment later Akane's shouts turned into a scream of fright as the heiress of the Tendo School of Anything Goes martial arts was flipped into the koi pond. "Daddy is not going to like this story. It might be amusing to see how Kuno reacts though." In the koi pond, Akane finally lost her temper enough to start screaming obscenities at Neko, opening with a comment about the promiscuity of Neko's mother.

_ZAP!_

Nabiki winced in sympathy as her sister was flash-frozen into the pond before Neko hopped in front of Akane and started scratching her angrily. "So, making fun of bunny-boy's mother is definitely a no-no." Having been under a great deal of stress lately, Akane responded to this treatment with a suggestion about what Neko could do to himself with a bucket of lemon juice, a pound of salt, and a wood chipper. Swearing a little herself, Nabiki bolted from the window and ran for the stairs. She really didn't want to see her sister get kicked to death by a vengeful rabbit spirit.

* * *

"Oh look, a shooting star Tendo. And in broad daylight too." Soun looked up from his ramen bowl quickly spotting what his heavy-set friend was talking about.

"Truly, how astonishing." A sudden thought occurred to the Tendo patriarch and the man quickly backtracked the path of the thing towards his home. "Oh no, it seems Akane has lost her temper with someone." Genma looked up quickly from his own ramen bowl and had to twist to see between the flaps of the stand they'd gone to for dinner, but he too quickly recognized that movement pattern.

"Can't be the boy." Genma muttered, pushing up his glasses. "He would have already redirected his flight to land somewhere closer to food. That Kuno boy maybe?" Soun grunted lightly in disagreement.

"To small. In fact, the only ones who'd fit that are Sasuke…and the Master." The middle aged men exchanged hopeful looks before quickly settling their tab. Making their way through the streets, Soun and Genma soon arrived at the Dojo. At the gate, they quickly peeked out, eyes peeled for the Dreaded Master. When the shriveled man failed to appear, Genma and Soun 'sneaked' their way to the front door. Their ridiculous poses and movement adding no stealth to the approach. Pulling a little ahead, Soun gently knocked on his own front door. When no one came to the door, Soun hesitantly knocked a little louder. This time, the door opened, revealing a decidedly un-amused Nabiki.

"What do you want?" She snapped, before recognizing Soun. "Oh, hi Daddy. Sorry about that." Soun looked shaken by his normally calm and collected daughter's burst of fury.

"What's wrong Nabiki-chan?" Nabiki waved off his concern, sighing wearily.

"Nothing, Daddy. I was just irritated about the amount of effort I had to go through to get Neko to stop beating up Akane."

"WHAT!" Sound shouted, taking a heroic pose. "How dare that beast assault my little girl." Nabiki rolled her eyes as Soun ranted and Genma chimed in at the right moments to keep the Tendo patriarch going. Finally losing patience with her father's speech-making, Nabiki went straight for his pride.

"So Daddy, how exactly are you going to make Neko pay for this? I seem to remember him making fools of you and Mister Saotome." Soun deflated, and Genma shot her an annoyed look. Ignoring the man's glare easily, Nabiki stepped aside, waving her father and his fat friend into the house. "Come on in, Neko's pretty calm at the moment and Kasumi is making dinner." The two men headed into the house, soon coming across Akane, who was watching TV and trying to dry off and warm up with a number of towels.

"Akane-chan! My poor baby!" Akane sighed, suffering her father's wailing and theatrics poorly. She was still shivering from being frozen in the pond after all and was in no mood to deal with her dad's immature behavior.

"I'm f-fine dad. Nabiki broke things up before it got too bad. Not that it should have happened in the first place." Akane whispered the last sentence angrily, roughly rubbing a towel over her hair to help muffle the sound. Soun eyed his daughter uneasily, but didn't say anything more. Genma ignored the whole by-play between father and daughter, more interested in the sounds and smells starting to come from the kitchen. Eventually, Genma coaxed Soun into finishing their shoji game from earlier. Soun did so only after one last uneasy glance back at his youngest daughter. Stewing, Akane stayed where she was until Kasumi let everyone know that dinner was ready.

Kasumi silently watched her family eat. Picking at her own meal, the quiet young woman planned out how best to break the news to her family. Akane and Nabiki would be supportive of her decision, Father on the other hand would be…less supportive. Not angry, she knew, just upset. Father didn't handle changes very well, though he had managed the Saotome's arrived with surprising grace; perhaps it was because Genma was an old friend? Kasumi shook her head slightly, dismissing that thought for now. Dropping a hand to pet Neko for courage, Kasumi took a deep breathe and spoke up.

"Everyone, I have some news."

There were flinches all around the table at that statement. Even Nabiki and Ranma looked uncomfortable. Glancing all around to make sure her family was paying attention, Kasumi revealed her big news.

"Today, while me and Neko-kun were traveling around, I meet a strange young man who said some things that made me think about what I wanted in life." '_Oh no!'_ Soun thought, '_Please please don't let this be what I think this is!_' "And I have decided that I want more in life then just cleaning and cooking." Soun grunted, looking pained. "I've decided that from now on, everyday, me and Neko are going to go visit another city somewhere in the world. We're going to explore new places and meet new people! Ooh, imagine the recipes I could find!" While Kasumi tittered at the thought of collecting exotic recipes from around the world, the family and houseguests processed the woman's statements. Ranma wasn't thrilled about Kasumi's decision. Ferrying Kasumi around the world would eat up a lot of his time. He still had to practice the cabbit abilities that unlocked with his transformation and he still hadn't found Ryoga again.

'_I suppose that at least this will give me something to do during the day instead of just watching TV…though I've gotten tons of ideas from those cartoons._'

Genma only had one concern. "Will you still being cooking for us?" Kasumi blinked.

"Well, I suppose I would most of the time. Why wouldn't I?" Genma nodded solemnly, satisfied.

"That's good enough for me, I look forward to tasting the new additions to your cooking repertoire!" Soun looked aghast at Genma's casual response; one of Soun's baby girls had just declared that she was going out into the world!

"B-but Kasumi! A young lady has no business traveling the world by herself, it's so dangerous!" Kasumi giggled, picking up her pampered baby/magical animal companion/spaceship.

"But Father, I'm not alone! Neko-kun will be with me. Isn't that right sweetie?" Kasumi rubbed noses with Neko, causing the transformed martial artist to blush wildly, something that only showed up as a pinkish glow on his power jewel. "Neko-kun is such a good boy, I'm sure he'll always defend his mommy." Casting an uneasy look at the cabbit, Soun pushed ahead with his attempt to dissuade his daughter from this 'crazy' plan.

"But Kasumi-chan, why would you even want to go to these strange places in the first place. Foreigners are so rude and mean, and their countries are ugly compared to the beauty of Japan!"

Kasumi frowned lightly, hugging her pet closer. "They are not, Father. Neko-kun and I already saw several other countries today and they were quite beautiful. And that was even without a close look at all the little details! Besides, that boy in the English speaking country I went to was rather nice, if slightly queer."

Soun's expression turned thunderous. "Kasumi-chan! How could you just run off like that! I thought I raised you better then that, and to talk to some random man in another country too! I won't allow this to continue!" As her father ranted about his disappointment with her, his outrage at this behavior, and so forth, Kasumi felt a very rare emotion for her well up inside. How dare he! How dare he insult her fledgling dreams of visiting distant places and gathering and cooking exotic recipes! When was the last time she ever truly asked for ANYTHING? How many years had she taken care of the family after mother died. How many sacrifices had she made for her sisters and even her father? And now, the one time she wanted to do something for herself and to pursue a goal that was just a little bit selfish, Father refused to wish her well. In fact, he seemed to be quickly working his way to flatly denying her permission to travel.

'_Would Akane or Nabiki stand for this? Would either of my sisters back down from their hopes?_ Kasumi stared at her father's reddening face. '_Would Ranma back down from anyone if he was here?_'

"…and furthermore I-"

"No."

Soun paused in his speech/rant, feeling a dire chill dance up his spine at his oldest daughter's tone of voice. Heeding their separate survival instincts, Genma and Nabiki began sneaking away from the table. Akane and Soun remained, looking confused. "What do you mean, no, Kasumi-chan?" Kasumi responded by directing the coldest stare anyone had ever seen from her at her rapidly paling father.

"I said no, Father. I don't care what you say, I _will_ continue with my plans. If you don't like that I'm going to do something for myself for once, then I have just one thing to say…_Neko!_" Soun went bone-white as the rabbit-beast leapt for him, growling. To the side Akane scrambled madly for escape, not willing to get beaten up a second time that day.

"_Mommy!_"

* * *

Silently blessing the manga that inspired the creation of his Wire-Fu, Mousse limped away from the Tendo dojo as quickly as he could manage. Grunting, Mousse plucked off the last of the chains around him off. "Damn pervert! Tormenting me like I'm some fly to have my wings torn off. At least one good thing came of this afternoon." Slipping a spare pair of glasses on to navigate the roofs of Nerima, Mousse continued muttering to himself. "I know Happosai doesn't have the magical items, though that does beg the question; who does have them?" Brooding on the subject of just who had made off with several sacks of magical loot, Mousse completely missed the gleaming 'shooting star' behind him. Sighing, Mousse hopped over the wall surrounding the Kuno manor and began weaving his way through the traps surrounding the house. Finally stepping into the front hall, the weapon master debated his options. He couldn't just leave the items lost. Asshole he might have been, Mousse was not retarded enough to leave assorted magical items unaccounted for. "I have no clue who could of taken the items, which means I'd have to investigate Happosai's room for clues, but with the lecher back in town that's practically suicide. I'd have to make sure he's out of the room for at least an hour."

"Mousse-san." Yelping in shock, Mousse whirled around and hurled a handful of knives at the source of the voice.

_THUNK! THUNK! THUNK! THUNK! THUNK!_

"M-master Kuno -erg- would like t-to talk to you Mousse-san." Mousse winced at the sight of Sasuke pinned to the wall by his knives. Oops.

"Sorry about that Sasuke. Where would I find Tatewaki?"

"He's in his study." Nodding, Mousse quickly walked away, very carefully not looking back. Having spent a few days in the mansion, Mousse was more then able to find his way to Tatewaki's study. There, the Amazon found his so-called patron seated and looking rather disturbed.

"You wanted to see me?" Mousse stated in a dry tone. Tatewaki looked up at the question. Seeing Mousse, Tatewaki bridged his hands together and nodded to the chair across from him.

"Sit my underling, I have something to discuss with you." Gritting his teeth at being called an underling Mousse took the indicated chair and folded his hands across his chest, ready to throw a weapon at a moment's notice. "As you may have noticed," Tatewaki started, taking on a pompous lecturing voice "my twisted sister is not entirely stable. Since the accursed Ranma Saotome's disappearance, she has only grown worse, heading towards full-blown insanity."

Mousse stared at Kuno, wondering how the _fuck_ Tatewaki could say something like that with a straight face.

"Verily, in these last few days Kodachi's fragile grasp on the world has been completely lost. She frequently speaks of a 'Demon Lord Belathor' and gaining his assistance in securing the love of Ranma Saotome where she thinks I cannot learn of it." Tatewaki scoffed. "As if a man such as I would not know what goes on it the walls of my own home." Mousse rolled his eyes behind his glasses.

"And what does your crazed sister have to do with me?"

"Quite simply, I wish for you to capture her and deliver her to the appropriate facility." Mousse stared, certain he'd heard wrong.

"What?"

"I wish to have my twisted and incompetent sister committed but I cannot do so myself due to certain legalities. So, you shall have to do so for me anonymously." Mousse stared at Kuno, who stared right back. There was a heavy silence between them as Kuno waited expectantly for Mousse to agree to his request and Mousse tried to wrap his mind the concept of one of the Kuno siblings attempting to have the other committed. "Well?"

Sighing, Mousse stood up, keeping his arms folded. "Unfortunately for you Kuno, I make it a policy not to get involved in a fight between siblings. So, I shall have to decline."

Kuno flushed angrily reaching for his bokken as he stood up. "If you are so foolish as to turn down my request, then I shall have to take matters into my own hands after all. However, if my intended plans are to work no one can know of them. Thus, I am afraid I must deal with you rather finally, 'Intruder'. Sasuke!" Mousse smirked as the small ninja joined his master in the study, drawing his weapons from his shinobi uniform. As Tatewaki took a ready pose to begin attacking, Mousse shook his head dismissively, drawing his hands out of his sleeves to reveal that he was now wearing reinforced black leather gloves that glinted menacingly.

"I'm amazed and impressed that you actually had the brains to think of decrying me a home-invader Kuno, but you have forgotten one very important thing." Mousse's eyes hardened as he threw his hands out and sent gleaming wires into a deadly dance through the air, slicing apart everything in their path.

"I'm the better fighter now. Wire-fu: Endless Whip-crack Death!"

* * *

"YYYYEEEAAA-AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

**WHA-BAM!**

With a deafening burst of sound Happosai finally reached the end of his mallet-powered flight and crashed landed at the outskirts of Nerima. As the aged Grandmaster laying groaning in the newest crater to scar the district, he couldn't help but feel some small sympathy for his youngest disciple. How the pig-tailed brat survived these trips, and as frequent as his mouth got him sent on them, was a mystery even to the 300 plus year-old martial artist like Happosai. Slowly, the old pervert dug his way out from the bottom of the crater, acquiring a few dozen new scratches in the process. "Why is Akane-chan so mean?" Happosai moaned. "I was just being friendly!" Climbing to his feet, Happosai placed his hands on his hips and cracked his back. "I oughta go back there and teach her a lesson about punting harmless old men into the distance! I'll…I'll…hubba hubba!" Happosai was distracted from his maniacal plots of revenge against Akane's spat of self-defense and righteous feminine fury when an exotic beauty walked into sight up the street. A delightfully mature woman, she had not an ounce of fat in a wrong place. A tailored somber business suit subtly called attention to her curves and contrasted intriguingly with her viridian locks and dark red eyes. The old Grandmaster felt his tongue hang out of his mouth as he stared at one of the finest pieces of ass he'd ever seen, a real dime piece if he remembered his American slang right. "I want!" With that, Happosai lunged.

Setsuna Meioh strode down the streets of Nerima with absolute confidence, showing not a drop of fear or hesitance. It was the best thing to do in chaotic places like Nerima. Act like a predator and the scavengers who lurked in the shadows of the local powers would keep their distance. Of course, _she_ had to keep her distance from the local leaders or risk confrontation. They wouldn't take well to another 'power' intruding on their territory. Still, as long as she kept away from the hotspots she would probably be alright while she gathered information on the Chaos Generator. Sweeping the area with no more movement then her eyes, Setsuna contemplated how best to dig up information on the rabbit spirit. Such a creature wouldn't exactly advertise information about itself on the street corners. '_This would be so much simpler if I could use the Time Gates to dig into this creature's past. Curse his natural protections against such magics._'

"Hotcha!"

Setsuna froze, eyes wide in shock, as some_thing_ attached itself to her rear and proceeded to grope and fondle her in ways no man ever had before. Twitching, the red-eyed woman turned her head to stare down at the small and shriveled figure clutching her ass and crooning in delight at what he felt. An unholy rage began to fill Setsuna's heart as she recognized the creep groping her. The Time Guardian might not have been able to scry on the Chaos Generator but she had easily been able to ID and learn about most of the major players in Nerima. "_YOU!_" Setsuna hissed with venom as she called out her transformation pen. "Prepare to die!"

Happosai looked up at her with watery pleading eyes. "Can't you just let a dying old man enjoy his comforts?"

Snarling, Setsuna activated her transformation without the normal phrase, a benefit of her years of experience. Because of this, Happosai was totally caught off guard when a MASSIVE swirl of magic surrounded the woman he was clinging to and tossed him aside. Yelping, Happosai bounced a few times before recovering and hopping to his feet, smoke rising off his Gi. In front of the Grandmaster, the green-haired woman performed an odd dance, her form not quite visible through the column of light and power covering her. When it ended, a furious urban legend stood before the lecher. Given his hobbies, it would come as no surprise to anyone that Happosai could recognize any short-skirted myth, legend, or ghost story on sight. Seeing the mysterious Sailor Pluto stand in front of him with Garnet Rod in hand and radiating all kinds of Pissed Off confirmed for Happosai that today was simply not his day, and that it was best to try again tomorrow.

"Err, got to go. See ya later dearie!" With that, Happosai turned to run.

"Dead Scream."

Despite being whispered, the attack phrase carried easily, letting Happosai hear it and an oddly colored sphere blew past the old man and tore apart the pavement inches in front of his feet. Freezing in place, Happosai didn't move an inch as Pluto walked up to him and lifted him clear off the ground. Holding the man's clothes in one hand, Pluto pointed her Rod at him with the other and stared directly into his terrified eyes.

"Let's talk, you and I."

Happosai nodded rapidly, not wanting to do anything that would piss off a woman said to have control over time itself(2). Setsuna smiled victoriously.

"Good pervert."

* * *

Singing quietly, Kasumi ran a soft brush through Neko's fur. After the excitement at dinner, and the tension that it had created afterwards, the domestic young woman felt it was best to soothe her beloved pet's worries away. Carefully picking apart a small knot in Neko's fur, Kasumi stopped singing and began confiding her thoughts about the earlier events to the cabbit. "Why did Father have to be so stubborn and mean. All I said was that I wanted to try new things and go new places; why did he have to be so cruel about my wants?" Neko miyahed, supportively nuzzling her hand. Kasumi smiled happily, picking up the cabbit and hugging him "You really are such a good boy Neko-kun, making Father listen to me." Ranma purred, getting a giggle from Kasumi. He was always willing to put the two idiot fathers in their place. Though he was slightly worried about how they were going to respond. They always did in one way or another even if it usually ended up back-firing in their faces. Still, the looks on Soun and Akane's face when he jumped over the dining room table and started beating on the long-haired jerk…

'_Meh heh heh!_'

Ranma was distracted from his mild evil laughter when Kasumi stood up, pressing him closer to her chest. '_Lalala! I'm not paying attention, I'm not paying attention to where I am!_' Shifting to hold Neko with one arm, Kasumi walked over to her small personal bookcase and pulled out a pristine and untouched looking book from one of the shelves. Ranma watched curiously as she returned to her bed and opened the book, revealing it to be an atlas. Smiling brightly, Kasumi put Neko down on the bed next to the book, and started flipping through the pages. Ranma tilted his head slightly to better see the pictures as Kasumi eventually stopped on a map of France. '_France huh?_'

"What do you think of going to France tomorrow Neko? I've tried that style of cooking before, when someone came to collect on one of Father's sillier promises and it was very nice. I especially liked the pastries." Ranma nodded, recalling the rich food he'd eaten during the whole Battle Dining incident. "Oh good!" Kasumi squealed, taking the nod for an agreement to take her to France the next day. Closing the atlas and dropping it on her bedside stand, Kasumi scooped Neko up to chest once more and flopped on the bed. Pulling her sheets and covers up, Kasumi missed Neko's heavy blush as she settled in for bed. Tomorrow was going to be a busy day after all.

* * *

As quiet as a mouse, Sasami packed a bag, filling it with clean clothes and toiletries. At her feet, Ryo-ohki fidgeted impatiently, occasionally miyahing to encourage Sasami to speed up. Why was the young princess packing a bag, and at 11 at night you might ask? Well, it's quite simple. She was tired of waiting for the adults to get their acts together. Washu had gotten her all excited this morning by telling her that Ran-ohki had finished transforming and was ready to 'play' and then the scientist wouldn't let her go find him! Well that just wasn't fair to her. She wanted to play with the new cabbit gosh darn it! Sighing, Sasami zipped up her bag and picked up Ryo-ohki.

"It's up to you and me Ryo-ohki! We've got to find Ran-ohki and keep him company. Who knows how lonely he is without us around."

"Miyah!" Ryo-ohki cheered, waving her paws in excitement. Giggling, Sasami opened her window and climbed out. Shimmying down the wall of the house was harder then she expected, especially with the wiggling and excited cabbit in her arms, but Sasami managed it. Making it to the ground, the princess posed in one of those stances she'd seen on the morning cartoons.

"A victory for Love and Friendship!" Giggling again, Sasami headed out, holding Ryo-ohki close as the two took off down the stairs of the temple and towards town where the bus stops were.

* * *

1.) And failing.

2.) We know she can't, but does anyone else? I can easily see a rumor getting started from her title and swiftly being blown totally out of proportion.

* * *

**Author's Note:** This one turned out shorter then I wanted, but it really sets up a few things for the next chapter. Still, at least the creative juices are still flowing, right? Happily, I have managed to release another chapter despite now having a day job, so take that responsibility! Bwa-hahaha!

So, we get to see some personal development for Kasumi in number 12, breaking out of her shell. Obviously, she is acting out of character but honestly she was very 2-dimensional in the original series, being little more then the supportive house-keeping big sister. I do have to say that trying to write her was more taxing then I expected. Still, I have persevered and hopefully I haven't butchered her. Anywho, expect to see some more personal growth from her as she and 'Neko' explore the world. The world's most comprehensive cookbook ho!

Even better, Happosai gets several helpings of his just deserts. Plus, Setsuna finds an information source so she won't be going in blind, so sad, but too bad for Happosai. Some interesting developments in the Kuno manor, and I bet everyone and their aunt is just dying to know what's up with that Orb that Kodachi was looking for. That is for me to know, and you to find out in a tension filled showdown!

Bwa-hahAHAHAhaha!

Oh yeah, Sasami runs away from home to seek her expected playmate/new sibling. More on that later.

Inconceivably Yours,

Tigee86.

* * *

**Omakes…**

_Thought of and written by Alex Ultra:_

Slowly, he moved a small piece of stone a measured distance, then left it be, returning his hand to its place, was he considering?

Why, the game, of course!

And his opponent was worthy, of that he was sure. It was a given, after all his opponent had a mind like a Super Computer. Several, in fact.

Of course, he had a mind not unlike several hundred, or even thousand Super Computers, but even against a lesser mind a game of such elegant simplicity, mixed into complexity by the sheer magnitude of possibility bore a suitable challenge to keep someone of even his superb level occupied and stimulated.

His opponent made a move. This delicate, slow movement was likely thought hundreds, possibly thousands of moves ahead, and in his own mind he also considered hundreds, even thousands of moves ahead, as far ahead as he cared to consider before growing bored.

Selecting a method, he executed it, ignoring the way the ground shook.

His... other companions probably could have played this game quite well. Almost at the level currently being shown, if not above it if they truly focused.

Another rumbling of the ground, signaling another nearby explosion, did nothing to move the pieces, which were all being psychically held in perfect position.

"Should we stop them?" His opponent asked.

"No. I'm not sure we could, anyway, not the two of them together. It would take most of the Ancient Legendaries to stop... their playtime."

"One almost has trouble imagining that something so cute would have so much power..." Alakazam moved a piece on the board, nodding to himself. He may have been outstripped in raw mental power, but the simplicity of the game and his relative age to the recently born MewTwo gave him at least a fighting chance.

"Yes..." At that moment a crash destroyed the stone overhang that had been shielding the two players from direct sunlight.

"Mew, memew!" 'Oh, sorry!'

"Miyah!" 'Gotcha!' As the pink kitten teleported back to the sky to rejoin her own 'game', MewTwo attempted to repair his shelter. He was getting sadly accustomed to it.

"That's the so-called Chosen One... isn't it?"

MewTwo almost groaned... almost. "Yes." And both games moved

End End End

* * *

_Thought of and Written by Isilithix (it's a nice long one):_

Road to Nami no Kuni(Land of Waves)

Team Seven had been traveling for a couple hours since the Oni Kyodai(Demon Brothers) had attacked them and their charge, Tazuna, whilst escorting him back to his home country. Apparently he had a bounty on his head, and had neglected to tell the Hokage. The reason? Well, as it turned out, Nami no Kuni had no money. A short, fat, worm of a man named Gatô taken control of the country and basically choked into submission. Tazuna was their only hope.

Thankfully for his team, and his heart, nothing else had happened yet-

Pfft!

Hatake Kakashi turned his head around at his blonde pupil, who had just thrown a kunai into a bush on the side of the road, so fast; he thought that his neck had snapped.

"Naruto!" His pink haired student roared at him. "What was that for?"

"Something's there!" The blonde whined, trying to cover for his moment of stupidity. Kakashi slowly made his way to the bush, pushed aside the leaves…and sweat dropped. There, in the bush, was a dead snow hare. Naruto's kunai had sliced through its neck, not even giving it a chance to squeal in pain before it died. Picking it up, he turned around to show his students and their charge the casualty of the blonde's stupidity.

"Naruto!" Sakura gasped softly, obviously shocked that the blonde had killed an innocent rabbit. "H-How could you?" The blonde tried to defend himself, but the pink haired girl he crushed heavily on wouldn't listen, and proceeded to lay into him with a pink mallet, the head shaped like a flower with a green stem(the painted handle) that had the kanji for 'Fuck you!' written on said stem.

"Sakura! Wait!" The silver haired man was too late. He watched as the pink haired girl raced towards the blonde, who began to cower, before she swung the mallet at him like a golf club…there was a second of complete silence…and then, the blonde shot off into the sky, his screams drowned out by the eardrum shattering sound and a rush of wind. Having had to shut his eye due to the dust, when he opened it, Kakashi could only see a small blip high above the now three man team and their charge; and by the looks of it, the poor blonde was still climbing.

"Sakura," he began "that was wrong. He didn't mean to kill the rabbit." The girl hadn't heard him, her ears were probably still ringing from the sonic boom that she had produced when she had slammed her now conveniently missing mallet into the team's loudest member. Unfortunately, or fortunately…he couldn't decide which one it was…she didn't get a chance to answer as a large sword flew towards them.

"Duck!"

00oo00

With Naruto, Ten Minutes After Lift Off

00oo00

Naruto screwed his eyes shut as he fell at break neck speed towards a lake that had literally formed out of nowhere, at least to him it did. 'This is going to hurt…' he told himself as he fell. Suddenly, the dark world that was the inside of his eyelids, turned red. Taking the chance of opening his eyes, Naruto suddenly found himself staring at an entirely red world. The clouds were red, the ground-err-lake was red, and apparently there was a small red dot with a small red blob…that suddenly increased to a large red blob…he shut his eyes as pain encompassed his body as he slammed into the water at a high rate of speed.

00oo00

Kakashi watched in horror as a red beam suddenly shot down next to Zabuza and himself. It was powerful, too powerful to be a jutsu, especially from one of his students. It worried him. 'At least it freed me from that jutsu.' Both he and Zabuza had jumped back and away from where the beam had impacted the water's surface. And if that wasn't enough, he was almost sure that he had seen Naruto in the red beam. 'The Kyuubi?' he asked, worried that the seal had broken.

Suddenly, the beam dissipated. The surface must have been flash boiled when the beam of red light struck it, because there were a lot of bubbles forming and surfacing from where the beam had struck it. Kakashi and the Nuke-nin were surprised when an off creature popped up from the water, swimming as fast as it could to get to shore. Both Nin were shocked to see that the creature had yellow fur with a small orange spiral on its back.

"What the hell?" Zabuza asked. Kakashi's eyes twitched, but his train of thought was exactly similar to the Kirigakure Nuke-nin's. As they watched the small rabbit like creature crawl out and on to shore, a blue blur landed beside the yellow furred creature and picked it up.

"HAKU!" Zabuza yelled angrily at the new arrival. Kakashi took a closer look at the blue clad figure and realized it was an Oi-nin(Hunter-Nin) from Kirigakure…or, that was what it looked like. Said Oi-Niun looked over at Zabuza and waved happily at him…and that was when Kakashi figured it out. The Oi-Nin was in cahoots with Zabuza. Meaning it was a fake, with a passion for cute little rabbit like animals. "Damn it!" Kakashi looked back at the Nuke-Nin he had been fighting, as he cursed and snapped his fingers savagely. "Damn it! I knew I shouldn't have allowed her to have a pet!" The Nuke-Nin jumped towards the Oi-Nin, leaving Kakashi hanging. "We'll finish this later, Kakashi!"

00oo00

Later that night with Zabuza and Haku

00oo00

"So." Gatô began, smirking down at the infamous Nuke-Nin he had hired and his little wench…who oddly enough, was not paying any attention to him or his two guards as she hugged the stuffing out of a yellow colored rabbit, which was consistently trying to get away from her. "Even the great 'Demon of the Mist' couldn't deal with a group of Genin, eh?"

"Shut up, Gatô!" The pissed off, masked man snarled at the short, fat, worm of a man; scaring the man and his guards stiff. "I'm not in the mood to deal with your bullshit! In case you haven't noticed, I have a defective tool here!" Turning back to the dark haired girl, Haku, who had at first told the short man that she was a he, the Nuke-Nin ripped into her. "And what the hell was that about? You were supposed to be there for assistance if needed!" The girl's answer was to flick him off, shocking the raging man into silence.

"They killed my bunny…" The girl stated softly, still struggling to hold her new pet, who was still trying to escape. "…so I found a new one." Taking a candy from a bowl that had somehow appeared out of nowhere, she gave the rabbit looking creature an orange treat…the odd creature calmed down instantly.

"Mi~yah…" Blue eyes entering a slightly off kilter trance as it calmed down.

"…Give me that thing!" Zabuza went to grab the odd creature that Haku had picked up from the lake's shoreline only to have a small obsidian gem that was oddly enough embedded in the creature's forehead light up in a creepy purple fashion, as did its blue eyes. "…oh shit!"

"Miii…" Zabuza ducked instinctively. "YAAAAHHH!" A wide purple beam shot out of the creature's forehead and sailed over the Nuke-Nin. A large explosion signified that the beam hit something, and from the pieces of wood and furniture falling all around him, Zabuza decided that the beam had to have been extremely powerful. Turning over on his back, the Nuke-Nin looked at the devastation with wide eyes. Gatô and his weak guards had been completely obliterated by the purple beam.

"Pah…Pah…Pah…Pah~" The Nuke-Nin looked back at the tired yellow creature in his tool's hands who, oddly enough, had her eyes closed and was petting the creature from Hell contently.

"Um…Haku?" Zabuza began. The girl only cocked her head at him, eyes still closed. "Do…Do you think you can control him?" The girl nodded and handed the creature another orange treat, who greedily accepted it and began to purr. 'Yeah…Okay…I think I need to lay off the drink binges. Purring rabbits…yeah right.' "…I…I guess it can stay."

"Yay!" The girl chirped happily, before standing up and holding her new pet high above her head, making it look insanely cute with its mouth full of candy and its body hanging below its head. "I'm going to name you Murasaki-Chan(Purple)! And I'm going to love you and kiss you and hug you and feed you and play with you forever and ever, Murasaki-Chan!" The creature seemed to dislike it's new name.

"Why Murasaki? It's yellow!" Zabuza asked. The raven haired girl looked at her master and smiled at him cutely…which had no effect on him…before replying to his question.

"Yes, but her attacks are purple!"

"Uh…Haku…"

"Yes, Zabuza-sama?" The girl blinked at him. The Nuki-Nin pointed at the yellow creature in her hands. She brought the creature down to her eye level before humming in confusion.

"I don't think it's a girl." Zabuza stated.

"How do you figure?" The girl asked. Zabuza slapped his forehead.

"I mean that it's got a pair of…oh never mind!" The tired, angry and extremely confused Nuke-Nin grumbled out before turning around and walking off, not caring about the damage done to their tree house. "I'm going to sleep."

Haku looked at her master, but soon went back to staring at her new pet. Murasaki started to struggle, and Haku saw that it had crossed it's legs. Realizing what the poor creature needed to do, she put Murasaki on the floor and watched it jump(extremely fast by the way) off in search of a place to do business. Unfortunately for Haku, her new pet stopped to do its business in front of her, which made her gag slightly…but that later turned from a grossed out expression to a look of clarification as her pet lifted its leg and took a leak…right on the small piles of ash that had been Gatô and his guards. She chuckled. "Good boy Murasaki-Kun!" She amended as she cheered her pet for humiliating Gatô. 'If only he had done that before destroying him…' she thought cheerfully.

00oo00

Two Days Later - Bridge

00oo00

Zabuza sighed when he saw Hatake Kakashi and his two students. Obviously the third one had died from the vicious attack his teammate had dealt unto him for killing Pinku-Chan. The snow hare. However, if he had survived the attack, Haku would have castrated him before taking his life for killing her fiftieth pet. 'As long as she doesn't find out that we've eaten forty-nine of them, then I'm safe…' he thought before shaking his head. "Halt, Kakashi." He spoke to the silver haired man. "We have no need for conflict today."

"Is that so?" The silver haired man asked. "And why would that be?" Before Zabuza could answer him, a new voice entered the scene.

"You bastard Zabuza!" Both men, the teen wearing the Oi-Nin mask, the two remaining preteens and the bridge builder and his crew all looked over towards the end of the bridge and saw a large group of thugs standing there. "You killed Gatô! Our meal ticket!" The leader yelled out angrily. "Now, we'll get out revenge!" The man turned back to his comrades and began to shout at them. "Remember! Don't kill the girls, subdue them! We can use them before selling them!" A sudden burst of energy, three times as dangerous as the Kyuubi's chakra suddenly appeared. Kakashi and his team, as well as Tazuna, all watched as the faux Oi-Nin's oddly colored pet jumped from the girl's arms and raced out to meet the thugs.

"Miyah mi-miyah!" Suddenly, one oddly colored rabbit thing turned into forty oddly colored rabbit things which caused Kakashi to gasp as realization hit him like a sack of moldy potatoes. But, before he could do anything about it, he noticed as the odd rabbit creatures had begun to quiver and shake before forty beams of purple energy shot out towards the thugs.

They didn't have time to scream…or blink.

Everyone on the bridge saw the explosion but no one could hear it. The collective sound of the blast, that had also erased a fifth of the bridge as well as eradicating the thugs, had temporarily made them all deaf.

It was nearly two minutes of silence and then five minutes of annoying ringing in his ears before Kakashi could say anything. However, it was already too late; for the yellow rabbit creature of death and destruction with the orange swirl on it's back was already in the arms of the fake Oi-Nin…mewing…happily before receiving an orange candy. The girl lifted up her mask and kissed the odd rabbit-cat…the cabbit…on the head. The yellow cabbit spat out the orange candy into its small paws before licking the girl's nose and then mewed before popping the candy back into its mouth.

'…Have fun, Naruto.' The silver haired man thought as he watched the cabbit he was certain was his oddest and loudest pupil. 'Have fun.' He watched the Nuke-Nin and fake Oi-Nin disappear, Naruto-cabbit with them.

Ten minutes had passed before the people of Nami no Kuni heard earth rendering screams of fear. Kakashi had just realized that the Sandiame was going to have to hear of this whole fiasco.

00oo00

Konohagakure - Two Weeks Later

00oo00

"…do you think I'm an idiot, Kakashi?" The elderly leader of Konohagakure snapped at the silver haired man. "Red beams of light don't just appear out of thin air and change little boys into cat-rabbits!"

"Cabbits, sir." Kakashi corrected automatically. The Hokage glared at him even harder, which shut him up.

"Hatake Kakashi! For not only losing track of your student, who by the way happens to have a whole organization full of S-rank Nuke-Nin who want to control the Biju for some unknown reason; and then refusing to look for him before returning home; I m hereby demoting you to Genin rank! You will be stationed under Maito Gai, and you will not be able to participate in the Chuunin Exams for as long as Naruto is missing!" Hiruzen decreed, shocking the silver haired man.

"B-But…But who will teach Sasuke and Sakura?" He asked.

"Yamato." Kakashi could only blink.

"Hokage-sama, Yamato reporting for duty!" Kakashi looked at the man who had interrupted the meeting slash demotion with a hidden, one eyed glare. Said man waved at him with a sad, strained smile.

"Yamato!" Hiruzen barked, the new Jounin instructor snapping to attention. "Team Seven is now under your control. A new teammate will be added whenever I can find one. For now, it's just the three of you." The man nodded. "You are to meet your team tomorrow at seven in the morning at the Academy. That is all." The man nodded, bowed, and turned around.

As he passed Kakashi, he heard the newly minted Jounin instructor mutter something to himself. "I will earn your respect, Hokage-sama…and then…I will be loved!" Kakashi shuttered heavily. As soon as the man left, Maito Gai entered, looked at him, and shook his head with a sigh.

"You have fallen far from the path of youthfulness." The green dressed man said softly. "But I, Maito Gai, will rekindle those flames of youthfulness! Come Kakashi-Kun! We must started now!" Kakashi wasn't given a chance to do anything other than contain a gag as the man picked him up like a board, bowed to the Hokage and then left the tower in a blur.

'D-Damn you Naruto!' The silver haired man cursed mentally. 'Because of you, I'm in Hell!'


End file.
